College Finances and Non-custodial parents...terminate Parental Rights?

There is no upside to terminating parental rights. They look at the 1099 of the parent that claims them as a dependent. So I got my older two as dependents so their FAFSA was filled out with my information alone. I was single at the time. Had I been married I would have had to claim my husbands income as well. Still that can't be avoided with rights termination.

Anyway, wasn't complicated at all. Two kids through school, no trouble at all. They may audit you and ask for an ex's financials but you don't have to provide them.

The problem with termination of rights is say we have a lottery winner or rich uncle dies, you can't get that back child support.

Pfft! Theresa messages me with her questions.

I currently have two kids in private colleges. At no time, and in no way did we ever have to report their father's (non custodial parent) income.

I don't even know what CSS is.

ALL financial info requested by the government or individual colleges are based singularly on the custodial parents income.

In fact, where ever you see the word "parent or guardian" on ANYTHING college related, it refers only to whoever has legal physical custody. Or in the event of no court involved, whomever the child has lived with for the majority of the past 12 months. Believe me, there are many families with more complicated situations than yours and mine!

I've done it twice, and have one more to go, PM me with more specific questions if you have them. I'm becoming a bit of an expert!

:)

I urge you to talk with an attorney about the process of terminating
parental rights. Doing so may not be feasible. Also talk with a financial advisor who is familiar with CSS requirements. Termination may not help or be needed. Do consider it's effect on your children. Terminating rights can be very emotional.

I wouldn't do anything through the court system. But what you do need to do is contact a financial aid counselor at any local college or call the 1-800 number on any FAFSA form to ask questions.

I think you are WAY over-thinking this. I think your kids will get financial aid for college and it won't be near this complicated.

After talking to the FAFSA counselor you'll have a much clearer picture as to what goals you need to set.

We are the custodial household. We were able to fill out the FAFSA without issue. My own father was MIA and my sister and I still qualified for scholarships and loans. I would not terminate rights, as that would be a whole can of worms. You should also talk to some of the college financial aid offices. We got a lot of information when the sks narrowed their choices to just a few schools.

ETA: Frankly, if it impacts their ability to get financial aid, that's when you explain to the financial aid office that the parent is MIA and does not support SD. That SD would love to go to that school, but is unable to do so if the mother's finances count against her. My SD talked to Hoffstra when she got their package and they came back with a better one. It would have left her still in a big loan hole so she didn't go (for that and other reasons) but your sks may be able to negotiate once all the information is out there. There are just so many other ramifications to a termination of rights that I wouldn't do it for college funding.

My DH's ex did not pay CS, and does not pay for any tuition now. Our financial agreement with the sks is that WE can provide X and anything else is theirs - SS got a scholarship and SD is taking loans and working. Neither has asked BM for money. Even if you got CS or she had visitation, it wouldn't be a guarantee that college would be paid for by the other parent. I feel it is nice if parents can help, but it is not mandatory. I had to figure out my own way, as my mom couldn't afford it. My sister and I both went to college. I'm sure your sks can find a good school or a way to make it happen. Perhaps start at a community college for the basics and transfer or go to a smaller school or go in state vs out of state. There are also often meetings for parents at the high schools, so ask the guidance office about those.

I am not clear about the financial aid process. We aren't quite there yet, and have an intact nuclear family, so no crazy ex's to factor into anything we do. But I worked in family law for quite some time, and I disagree that terminating parental rights does anything regarding any future inheritance of your child.

Termination of parental rights is just that. A termination of the right of the parent over any control or decision making for the child. As such, it doesn't terminate any of the CHILD's rights. And therefore, am not clear how that would help in your situation to pursue that anyway...

Now, having your child become emancipated... that might be an avenue... I don't know. My husband had to do that when he went through the financial aid/student loan scene nearly 30 years ago... And his was a mess. He was adopted by his grandparents, one of whom had died and one of whom was incapacitated in a nursing home by the time he went to college. He had moved into his mother (legally his sister)'s home for a short time and trying to fill out forms was a nightmare for him.

What I would suggest, if you haven't already, is contact the guidance office at your children's school and schedule a meeting with them to discuss this stuff. Our local high school spends a lot of time putting out and organizing information just like this for the rising underclassmen. They could be an incredible resource for you.

JB - what about you and your husband adopting each other's kids? Would that mess up the names they've always used? You could terminate and adopt in one fell swoop (?? - depends on the law in your state).

With my 19 year old (with my ex-H) we are planning to simply cash-flow college so we haven't had to deal with the FAFSA. My son took a gap year to travel, gain some life experience, and to continue musical and theater pursuits. Right now he's working close to full time but will start school in January. That being said, my ex has always been involved in our son's life.

One nice perk is that my son has in-state tuition in two states (at least our two particular states) because his parents live in two different states. That surprised me. But again, both of us have always been involved.

I hope you can come up with a relatively easy, painless solution. Didn't know if adoption was an option.

Good luck.

I can't answer any of your questions since we don't have a blended family or non-custodial parents in our situation. I do want to tell you that your step-daughter, who is as you say, a high performing student, may do even better financially at a private school. My son, who is in his junior year in college, was awarded enough of a scholarship that we pay LESS for his college education than if he had one to a state university. The state universities don't give much merit money - they don't have to. We didn't qualify for needs based money, but we did apply to FAFSA because there is an amount that they loan on an unsubsidized basis to the student. Our deal with our son is that since it is in HIS name, HE is responsible for the debt. IF his semester grades are above a certain point, we will cover THAT semester for him. If his semester grades were to dip below it, then HE is on the hook for that semester.

(Just to let you know, and unsubsidized loan starts accruing interest the day the loan is made - not after he graduates. A subsidized loan will not accrue interest until the 4 years is done.)

The way we put it to him is that the carrot is that we cover his loan for good grades. The stick is that school is his JOB and it is his job to make the grades if he wants to leave undergraduate school with no debt. It's up to him, really.

I will also tell you that the private loans that you can get out there do NOT allow for a catastrophic event like the death of your child to get out of paying the debt. The government loans do. I would NOT take out a private loan because of that. The financial aid people at the schools will explain that to you if you ask.

Lastly, if I were you, I'd be looking at schools outside of your area who don't routinely use the CSS. You have several ladies here telling you that they didn't have this issue where their kids went to school. It's so much better to just change where your kids are looking than deal with issues that you're talking about.
Good luck~

You don't have to report non custodial parents income. Don't mess with a css whatever that is the fafsa is the one that you really need to do. But the one thing I wanted to say is this. Don't take on student loans for your kids. There are a lot of scholarships out there but there are also low cost loans your kids can get for school. If they are paying for school they will work harder for it and appreciate it more. There is no reason for you to take and or co sign on loans. Don't' do it. We have had 3 kids go through college (for 2 years we had 3 in college at the same time) one in a state school (Northern Illinois University) one at private college (Carthage in WI) and one at Waubonsee Community College. It was hard and we helped with what we could but at 50 we were not taking on hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans. The financial person at the college all told us the same thing don't do it.

I have received helpful information from the people at FAFSA over the years. You might try calling them and asking.

https://studentaid.ed.gov/contact#call

I have 2 kids in college now. One is in a private college and the other in a state university -- but not OUR state. We've only ever completed the FAFSA. I had to look up what a CSS is.

I'm the custodial parent and only my information was requested and required. This is my son's second year at New Jersey Institute of Technology. His first year he got only a 50% scholarship but no financial aid. This year he will be getting some aid but we had to pay for the semester up front.

His father contributes nothing directly but I apply his child support towards his tuition and other expenses.

I wouldn't advise terminating rights. Financiing college isn't that complicated. Since your kids are just only sophomores in highschool, things have a tendancy to change. Relax, save and move forward. Look for non income based scholarships along the way every little bit counts.

I'm with Marda P. on this one, and I would be wary of taking advice from anybody who is unfamiliar with the CSS. As you have noted, it is VERY different from FAFSA. CSS requires a lot more specific information, including non-custodial parent info, as well as detailed financial info about any property and/or businesses owned by either family. It is a pain to fill out, but what can you do? Some schools require it.