Collecting Passed Due Child Support from a Self Employed

Updated on November 19, 2010
C.V. asks from North Haven, CT
5 answers


My son's father is $1100.00 in arrears in passed due child support. He is self employed. does anyone know the chances of collecting this through the courts?

Also when a child is with his father for a weeks vacation, does the father still pay child support for that week? My son's father is saying that because he had our son for a week he doesn't owe me and will not pay me for that week.. help?
Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

HI Everyone... THANK YOU so much for all your advice. I will let you know what happens. I called the child enforcement office to set up an appointment.

More Answers



answers from New York on


As the other Moms have already stated - he is SUPPOSED to pay you support if he has him for a weekend, week, month - or whatever - until such time that there is an order for him not to -

I would DEFINITELY go through the child support court system to get him to pay directly to the state and then the state pays you. Also get it directly taken from his bank to yours - this way there is no hassle.

My kids are now almost 18 and 15 - when I went to court for their father to pay support - I was told back then that child support and visitation have NOTHING to do with each other - regardless if the non custodial parent (in your case this would be the child's father) pays support or not - that parent has a right to see his child and the child has the right to see the parent.

As I'm sure you already know this - child support is for the benefit of the child - as is visitation. Both of you brought this child into the world and BOTH of you are responsible for the care of that child.

Here's a bit of a past history that I'll share with you concerning my children - last year my daughter who was 16 at the time - went to live with her father - since he was paying support for both of my kids - he continued paying even though she was living with him - he didnt file for modification of support until she was living with him for 6 months - and since he didnt do this until that time - the monies he paid to me for both of them during that time - until the time he filed - I didn't have to pay back! (dumbass he is!! LOL)...anyway.. I now pay support to him for her and he pays support to me for our son (who lives with me)....

I'm telling you this to show and prove to you that the court system CAN work -

Good luck to you...!!



answers from New York on

Hi C.,

Yes. He still needs to pay child support for the weeks vacation, unless there's an agreement in writing stating differently.

It's difficult, but not immpossible, to collect from self-employed. Chances are he's hiding a lot of his income.

By any chance does he have his own business, even if he's the only employee? If this is the case, you have a much better chance.

Although I've never been in this situation, I know several people who have been. Keep excellent records, when the support was due, when it was paid. Keep receipts for items you pay for that are directly for your son, such as clothing, school supplies or trips, and medical expenses.

Give your attorney a quick call.

Good luck.



answers from New York on

Dear mom,

I suggest going back to court and have the courts collect it from him, and then they pay you,

Its much simpler, you don't have to beg it from him,
negotiate, whatever

They Automatically withdraw the funds from his accounts.

they get all the hassle.

And he CANNOT have an excuse.

YES you still get paid the child support even tho he spent a week with his dad,

I still get paid and my son spends the entire summer with his dad.

You could always argue that he was making up missed visitation

Child support is for the support of the child.
it is paid to you because you are his primary care giver.

Your childs father does NOT get to change the rules whenever he feels like it.

Rent still needs to be paid, electricity, and gas all still need to be available and paid,

Instead of him looking at the week as bonus time with his son, he looks at it as YET ANOTHER way to get out of paying child support,

and bottom line this will reflect poorly on HIM,

As for you it will look like even tho he is NOT paying the support in a timely manner, you are still meeting your requirements and going above and beyond by allowing him to spend additional quality time with his son, WHICH next time you don't have to do.Especially had you known it would cause this much worry.about finances.

Any judge will see that what your asking is fair.

Don't hesitate, he is a big dumb jerk.

and before you know it your gonna be a nurse , earning good money, and won't have a worry in the world.

Trust me it gets better.


PS next time he says something like this let him talk to the courts, believe me they will not even listen.LOL



answers from New York on

Yes he owes you support money for the weeks he has your son on vacation unless he has something in writing from the court telling him he doesn't have to pay for those weeks. All you're son's father is doing is providing food, entertainment, and shelter for that week. Child support money on the other hand covers clothing, shoes, medical costs, school supplies, etc.

As far as going to court to collect back child support I'd suggest doing it. If he wants to hide money then that's totally beyond your control however you owe it to your son to get the money needed to give him the things he needs.

Good luck on trying to get into you nursing program.



answers from Nashville on

Well, unfortunately the justice system failed my situation failed my children.
My ex husband, also self employed, only respected the court mandated child support order the first year of our divorce. I was taken back to court by him for "income change" the second year and I was ordered to pay him $230 per month for the term of one year because he was over paying me..the real estate market was booming and the reported income change was over $30, one year...whatever. I remember thinking that there was absolutely no way the judge could believe this fabrication...oh, but he did. Yep, and I'm not done. Just wait....unreal.
Five years later, sick of having to call every damn month to remind him the child support payment was due, I found an attorney from a different city, moved back in with my parents with our two children so I could finish school, bartend part time and balance parenting while taking his butt to court to reveal his lies and to fight for what my children deserve and what the law ordered him to pay. Should not be this difficult, should it?
He was also cheating me out of claiming the children for income taxes...our agreement, again court mandated. He was to file his taxes claiming both of our children while I, on the other hand, was to prepare my taxes two ways: 1) claiming neither children; 2) claiming both children...he was ordered to pay me the difference by April 15 of every year...
Now, one would view this as a slam dunk case, considering he was in contempt not one but TWO ways...but, nope...nope...nope...
He and his attorney manipulated the system and cheated MY kids. And nobody cares. After two years of injunctions, continuances...blah blah case...MY EXPENSIVE case never made it to court...I could no longer afford attorney and became sick( discovered I had lupus). I have records you would not believe..any attorney would love my documents, I mean I did all the work...not kidding or exaggerating, I mean all the way to journal notations, 6 years worth of the same malicious disregard only further proving his "I am above the law" attitude. I paid $4000 for this attorney, he was male, and YES that makes a difference, or does it?... My ex owed me: the professionally documented unsettling amount of $25,000. And that is not including the child support I had to collect, just like a bill collector. If I did not call, he wouldnt pay. And as I did this every single month, I would mentally prepare for the arguement of how this is ridiculous and I am a horrible mother..funny how I was only a bad mother when it was time to pay...unbelievable isn't it? He avoided garnishment of wages/checking account by being protected by the same system I was taught as a child would protect me and all because he is self employed... I have to do something about this. This is crazy. This is legal. Our government will take everything you own if you do not pay taxes...IRS does it everyday. Ok, why is money for our children not as important? This, I am convinced, creates cycles of criminal juvenile delinquent behavior.
Ummm...why is it ok for him to completely disregard a court order? Why is it ok to ignore these guidelines?? Well, I will tell you why: IT IS BECAUSE WE HAVE A SYSTEM THAT DOES NOT CARE. Plain and simple. bottom line. Actions speak louder than words and in this case our system is only showing, with no punishment/justice, that this criminalistic behavior is ok...
My story is even crazier because I am what you call, lets see, ummm...hardheaded. I was going to school , 20 hours short of Bach degree, looking into law schools....TO TAKE HIM TO COURT MYSELF:) I was taking out student loans to compensate lack of child was a means to an end...I just wanted to focus on getting out of the problem and into the solution. I could not handle court with him, having to work, go to school and being a single mother imentally, emotionally, name it, not gonna do it.. So, I sacrificed and, again, financially struggled. This time was different, I had this intense passion to change something. Not just for me but for all of these similar injustices. And when it would get hard on us, on me mostly, I would think of my first case I would get to try after this difficult period....the history changer...making him pay so these children are no longer cheated....and appealing every single ruling UNTIL A DIFFERENCE IS MADE FOR EVERYONE DEALING WITH THIS BS!
And that was going all according to plan until my lupus got debilitating enough to have to take three incompletes in college and focus on my health: But...I AM NOT A as I heal...I will BLOG...make it my mission...until I get the results my children deserve. I will finish school...A change will happen, because it has to.

Sorry for the book. That is not even all of the issues...he thinks he can do as he pleases; insurance, both health and life...He is a walking posterboard for the changes we need, the changes our children punish those who blatently disregard these orders... it is just not fair. How and why has our system become the enabler of these criminal actions? They do not do a thing. I am ready to reveal the inconsistencies and injustices..and I am so ready for my ex to be the example (and everyone else doing so)...

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