Circumcising vs Not Circumcising

I have two boy's and when I was on the fence about this decision, I spoke to my Doctor. His advise was that I have the boys be like there Dad. This way there would be no worries later if they were to see their Dad when they potty trained. My boys are both grown men now and have had no problems not being circumcised.
I volunteered to go in the room for my daughter's son, my Grandson when he was circumcised. It made me grateful I had not had my boys done. It was awful! He screamed. I don't want to be graphic, but it isn't something I would be brave enough to watch again.

What a heated topic! You have a lot to read through already, but here has been my experience. My husband is circumcised and my son is not. We decided not to because it is medically unnecessary. So, apparently we don't believe in the "you have to look like daddy". At first my husband wanted to, but once we started doing research about it, he decided not to put our son through any unnecessary trauma. I left the decision up to him (I personally don't have that body part, so I didn't think I should be the one deciding its fate).

My experience so far, I am in a mom's group and there have been 2 moms thus far (I have been going to the group for 10 months or so) that have had to have their son's circumcision "re-done" because the skin actually healed itself. The first mother said her pediatrician said that when her son gets his "first real erection" the skin will tear off and fix itself (OUCH). The second mom, her son goes to the pediatrician and she keeps re-doing it (Three times so far) telling the mom to keep it better lubricated so it doesn't keep healing wrong. Scary thing is that this is her third circumcised kid. So she knows how to take care if it.

Personally, I could go either way on the issue. Good luck with your decision and congrats on your impending arrival!

I haven't read others responses on this issue, but I know how you are feeling. I went through the same dilemma when I had my first boy. We went back and forth. In the end, after he was born, perfect, the way God intended him to be, we couldn't do it. I also had gone through a c-section and it was a bit traumatic for my husband. He said after that, he was definitely going to have his new little baby go through something he had to recover from. We have two boys, 8 and 3 years old that are both uncircumcised. We don't regret our decision at all. We have talked to many people and think it may be about 50% of boys who are now.

We have some friends who the dad and sons were not circumcised and they said it was definitely better for sex (and the wife had to agree). Don't know about that one, never will... but, I think they could be right. :-)

I wish I had the right place to point you for research. I think there is a good book out there called, "The Circumcision Decision". I hope this helps. Good luck and Congrats on having a boy!!

I did it and regret it. I watched it get done and lets just say it's not a nice procedure. It's not necessary, so why put your child through it?

I have three girls but never found out what I was having while expecting, so did do research on circumcision and we decided not to do it, despite my husband being so.

First, it is an unnecessary medical procedure. All procedures carry risk, including "minor" or "routine" ones. Insurance companies won't necessarily pay for them and in England, they stopped paying for them and the rate of uncircumcised boys rose dramatically.

Second, as for not looking like others, well this side of the Mississippi, over 50% of boys are no longer circumcised, so the locker room fear is unsubstantiated.

Third, there is SO MUCH info, both in articles and message boards at http://www.mothering.com. I highly suggest reading there so you can make a fully informed decision. Whatever you choose to do will be fine, but you should make a well informed decision. They do make a clear distinction there that they are talking about non-religious circumcisions.

I have FOUR boys and every single one of them is circ'd. It was never a question not to do it because I personally know several people whose kids had major problems with cleanliness issues that caused serious and frequent UII's, and even a man who had to have it done in his 50's(!!!) because of lifelong issues. While some think it is medically unnecessary, I think it's a simple way to avoid potentially difficult side affects. And trust me, the 50 year old man took FOREVER to recuperate and had to wear a shoe box over himself to prevent anything touching him because he was in so much pain. Newborn babies on the other hand heal so fast! My boys had no problems whatsoever; I just had to make sure there was a liberal application of vaseline every time I changed a diaper until it was completely healed. My best advice to you is do what YOU think is best. No one should make the decision for you. If you decide to do it for your son, I would also recommend asking around for a referral to someone who does a really good job. I would go out of my way to have the same pediatrician do my kids. He was fantastic. I wasn't in the room, but I trusted him completely. Good luck on your decision. You'll do the right thing because it's YOUR child.

Hi D.,

I too was on the fence when I had to make a decision. I figured that since my husband isn't, then my little boy didn't have to be.

T.

D.,
both of my sons are uncircumcised and I am really happy with the decision not to circumcise them. I saw on here about having to pull back the skin and clean them all the time, but that is NOT true. Our pediatrician told us not to do that until the skin comes back on it's own. There really is no "maintenance" involved. Just regular washing the outside just like a circumcised one. We have friends that have their sons circumcised and others that do not. it really is a personal decision, but I am glad to hear that you are giving it some real thought. We did the same thing and we decided not to. Good luck!
J.

We circumcised our first son and will do the same with our second son due in September. My husband was in the room with our first son. He said it wasn't bad, and the recovery time wasn't long at all. The reason we did, and will do again, is that I find myself thinking of when they are older and in a locker room. High school sports, etc. I don't want my sons to feel funny or stand out in that area at all. Good luck!

We had our son circumcised and have been happy with our decision. Some points:

- We circumcised on the 8th day, as prescribed by the Bible; I believe there are studies showing this to be the best day.

- My husband wanted to circumcise for religious reasons, as we are Christians. However, the Bible is very clear that circumcision is optional for Christians - so there is no religious obligation either way.

- Our pediatrician did it in-office, and my husband was present. I could have been present, but our pediatrician recommended against it. I might try it next time.

- My main reason for choosing circumcision was for health reasons. Despite the modern backlash against circumcision, there are valid health reasons for circumcision and no real drawbacks health-wise.

Overall, it is a decision of complete freedom. If you want to, do! If you don't, don't! And don't feel guilty either way.

This is a personal decision for sure. We did circumcision on our son. We read for health reasons (which many people will dispute) it was best. Plus we didn't want him to look different from daddy. When we took the hospital tour we asked if my husband could be in the room and they said no becuase some dad's pass out. Well, we said that our baby wouldn't be out of our sight the whole time he was in the hospital and that my husband would be in the room. He said they gave him the smallest drops of sugar water, our son sucked on my husbands finger. He said that our son cried for about 2 seconds when they injected it with numbing stuff and slept through the rest of the 3 minute procedure. I was a crying mess even though I wasn't there, but all was well once I saw my baby and that he was ok. I had the hospitalist do it becuase he does many a day vs. waiting a week-10 days and having my peditrician do it. You will read that day 10 is the best time to do it, but we wanted someone who did this all day long.
Hope this helps. You can send me a private message if you want to talk more.

Hello. I have 2 boys, a 17 yr old and a 9 mth old. Neither one of them are circumcised, none of the boys in my family are. There isnt any reason for circumcising, neither of my boys or brothers have ever had any problems.Alot of people say it isnt clean to be uncircumcised but if you teach your boy to clean himself well then there should never be a problem. If that skin wasnt supposed to be there they wouldnt have been born with it.
A.

Does your husband want your son to have this? What are your feelings on it? Tossing it in the air doesn't say how you feel on the topic. My son didn't get this done till he was 13 days old and "they say" the child doesn't "feel" anything till they are 2 weeks old..apparently this means the day he had it done he wouldn't feel it but, tomorrow he would have? :-) I had to be in the room when they did this and NO I would never have if I knew what they were going to do before hand. Tell the doctor to do it without you or have your husband in the room if you decide to.

My circumsized husband was in the room for all three boys procedures. I could not be there. My husband's mom is a nurse, and had many stories about social issues, as well as infection and medical issues with uncircumsized boys. If you do not have religious reasons to not circumsize him, PLEASE circumsize him. He will cry for a few minutes, and then it is over. They will treat him so carefully, will numb it first, and will bandage him appropriately. The healing process is very quick because those little guys mend so quickly!

Hi D.,

I had your some concerns and questions when our son was born 18 years ago. I asked our doctor and he had a perfect common-sense answer..."the son should look the same as the father, so the child doesn't ask questions or look different". As far as being present for the procedure...I think not, why would you want to be?" And do you know any grown man who remembers his circumcision? I do know a few families who chose not to circumcise (due to the expense) and then when the boys were older (3-6 years old) they had to have the procedure due to medical reasons. That would concern me more than when the boy is an infant.
Whatever choice you make will be the right one fo your family.
All the best!

I have 3 sons, all of which were circumcised. I was only in the room with my last son. It could be rather gruesome to watch, but I am one of those people who can watch most surgeries. My last son bleed quite a bit, but it stopped when I added tea tree oil to the injury. It was also nice for him, because it numbed any pain he was feeling because he promptly went to a nice deep sleep. Caring for it was easy, just keep clean and add plenty of vaseline. I just globbed it on since I didn't want it to stick to the diaper.

My husband and I chose to circumcise due to his being circumcisied and some other factors in our backgrounds. If you chose not to, that is good and your decision. I have friends who chose not to and they don't have any problems that I know of. Just a matter of keeping clean and teaching the boys how to clean. I wish you well in your research.

Hi D.,

I have to agree with Susan. I think that a son should look like his father. You also have to think about the locker room in middle school and high school. Do you want your son to look different than all the other American born kids? To look different than dad, grandpa and uncles? This may be confusing when it comes to potty training. It is also cleaner. I too had both of my boys taken care of at the hospital rather than the doc's office a week later. Better to get it all done quickly and both boys were just fine, back in the room within 5 minutes. They both slept a long time after the procedure. Don't be afraid - and good luck! Congrats on your soon to be new addition!!

I struggled with this topic and did lots of research, however, I decided to leave it up to my husband who insisted we get it done. He talked about the cleanliness issue of having it done, but I think he just wanted his son to look like him. I did, however, insist that he be in the room with our son when he had it done and that he was to watch and hold his little hand. When they wheeled my son out of the room to do it, I cried, but I felt better that my husband would be at his side. He said the shot made our son cry for a few minutes, but the procedure itself didn't since he was numb. If you do do it, make sure you do it while in the hospital. If you go home with him, you'll never go back to have it done! Good luck with whatever you choose.

When my doctor told me it was medically unnecessary I did not want to circumcise my son, but I left the decision up to my husband. He chose to do so, even though I was opposed to mutilating our son's genitalia without his permission, because he said the uncirc'd kids were made fun of in the locker room. I tried arguing that many people aren't circ'g these days so it wouldn't be a big deal. My husband assured me that he's not mad at his parents for having it done to him and he doesn't remember it.

I think it's BS that the babies don't feel it, so I talked to the in-hospital pediatrician who performed it, making sure that he uses general anesthesia before he cuts. There was no way I was going to let him get near my son with a knife without numbing him first. The doc told me he prides himself how well he numbs them first, so that helped me feel better. He did it while my son was asleep and he slept through the entire shot and circumsion procedure. But he did cry every time I changed his diaper for several days after that, and it broke my heart and made me feel so guilty. I made my husband change all his diapers until he recovered. I think it's lame to do it for any type of aesthetic reasons and makes utterly no logical sense, but after reading several of the replies it may be good for cleanliness reasons. So I didn't want it done, and slightly regret it except for the fact that it is cleaner. I guess I'm kind of on the fence still because I think it's possible to teach a boy to clean himself well, just like you have to teach a girl with all of her creases and folds.

We had our son circumcised and I would definitely circumcise our next son if we have one.

However, we did have some of the same issues as one of the other posters. My sons skin reattached and while I thought it looked funny as an infant, our pediatrician brushed it off and said it looked like that because it was "big!" Ha! We finally switched peds when my son was 18 months and when our new ped was evaluating my son he noticed the adhesion. He told me he was going to pull back the skin as he was doing it! My son screamed and it bled everywhere. I was so glad that he caught this early, as I had only been asking about it for the last year. Well, it readhered again when he was almost three and we did have to see a urologist and it was a bigger deal, with numbing, scissors, etc. He has not had it happen since but now he has a wonderful little bump that is scar tissue.

Like I said, I would do it all over again, but just wish I knew about this issue and that someone had told me it would happen and what to do if it did. I had a friend that had the same thing happen to her son and she pulled it back herself and they have never had issues again.

Hello D.
I was in the room for the entire prodecure. His dad refused for I can say acceptable obvious reasons. It is not pretty but not bloody or really major. It LOOKS and he may sound really worse than what is going on. The 'holder" is what wiggs them out- to be restrained down in it is what they do not like. The same reaction as the Xray holder for infant/toddler Xrays.
HTHIA=D

I have not been present for the procedure, but have learned some things that may help. Some boys don't need much of a circumcision (one of my sons was that way). Most, however, do... The main reason (besides religious ones) is to keep it clean. Every day, if you don't circumcize, that area has to be peeled back ALL THE WAY and cleaned. It grows together VERY easily and keeps little pockets of stuff growing in there that are not pleasant unless it is really cleaned well. If you think that you can do that and teach him that, then there shouldn't be a problem. Good luck!

Everything that I should have learned is at the forums at mothering.com, and at nocirc.org. It is a cosmetic procedure, as classified by the AAP. There is NO need for it, the myths and other stuff are fully explained at nocirc.org There's so many myths out there about it, and good for you for researching it.
I didn't research it fully. I was in the room. It was the worst day of our lives and I am not exaggerating. Even today, 3 years later, I cannot really talk about it. It was amazing how ignorant I was. I don't care if my son dosn't remember it, I remember it, and I remember now how I should have done my research and allowed him to make the decision when he was of age, instead of me making the decision for him based on the bs I kept getting told.