Christmas Wrap-up

Updated on December 28, 2011
C.C. asks from San Francisco, CA
21 answers

Ohhhhkay! Christmas is over! I spent most of the wind-up until Christmas being all stressed out, mostly due to lack of time (job, kids, gifts, cards, you know the drill). Anyhow, I would like to know how those of you who had a successful, happy, low-stress holiday did it? Did you start buying gifts in July? Plan your menu in September? Order your Christmas cards before Halloween? Hire elves to do it all for you? How do you do it?? I grew up in a household where my mom was practically Martha Stewart, so I think I hold myself to an almost impossible standard to begin with. Add to that the fact that the Martha gene skipped me, and you have a recipe for disappointment. :(

I promise to take notes, try what you tell me to try, and will update my SWH this time next year when I'm not such a raving, stressed out lunatic! Haha

I hope all of you had a fantastic weekend, even if it was as dysfunctional as mine. ;)

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Well, parts of mine weren't perfect, but if I have one piece of advice it would be to try to give up perfection. Once perfection isn't the goal, it's less stressful.

However, you are a busy busy girl, so that might not even do it. ;)

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L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I actually do start gift shopping may - at arts fairs. You can always find something interesting and frequently rare, and you support local artists! The rest of my holiday, alas, is fully disfunctional. Oh, one other gifting thought: tickets and memberships are much better gifts than "stuff". Hth!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I followed the Flylady holiday countdown for several years. You set up a notebook with all of your holiday things to remember and start getting daily missions in October that go through the end of November. The goal is to basically be done by December 1st so that you can enjoy December. I used to hate the idea of thinking about Christmas in October, but starting that early meant less stress for everyone.

This year, I started in October but got totally derailed almost immediately - my brother died, my husband moved out for a while, more than half of my small team got laid off at work, we had other issues with my ILs and my step-daughter's mom, plus the usual school/work/activities/parenting 4 kids madness. I didn't put the tree up until 12/17 and didn't shop for anything until 12/18 (because we were hosting Hanukkah *that day*) and started Christmas shopping on 12/20.

All that said, having my routines in place from years past helped a lot. Instead of inventing everything from scratch, I was able to go back to my past notebooks where I had written down menus, ingredients, gift lists, etc. Made time for the things that are really important to the kids (like making monkey bread and quiche Lorraine on Christmas morning) and nixed the things that only I care about (like fashioning mini swags out of holly and evergreens to attach to the tops of 12 cabinet doors in my kitchen). I probably only put out half of the indoor decorations and kept my outdoor decor pretty minimal. Skipped the appetizers and signature cocktails and elaborate desserts for my Christmas Eve dinner, and let the kids frost the sugar cookies instead of being my perfectionist self. Instead of making homemade gift baskets for all of my kids' teachers, I joined in the class gift for most of them and did small bags of desserts for only the ones who are really special to my kids. It also helped that because of what I had done in the past years, everything was already in one place so I knew how much gift wrap and boxes I had (didn't have to buy any), where all the decorations were, and I knew that the lights all worked because I tested them before putting them away last year.

So...definitely check out the flylady holiday guide - it really covers everything and lets you enjoy the holidays in a good year and will save your sanity in an especially bad year.

5 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Medford on

We were packed up and ready to move for the last 2 months so I didnt plan much knowing we wouldnt be settled. We moved into the new house on the 18th, had early Christmas because our son could be here on the 20th, then had Christmas again with our daughter and grand daughter on the 25th. I was supposed to make prime rib on the 20th but told them all I didnt know where my pots and pans were, have no clue where I put the spices, and have never turned the stove on. I was not going to chance a prime rib to those circumstances, so we went to a nice restaurant instead and had a great dinner together. I bought a ham for Christmas day, but got so side tracked trying to get things put away I didnt get dinner started in time to cook it all so I cut off a few chunks and cooked just what we needed in the oven. (I burned the bottom,) and microwaved some potatoes. Steamed asperagus and only used the china because it was unpacked and not put into the hutch yet. So as fancy as it may have looked to the family, it was really fast, easy and not at all what I would have done if we hadnt moved so recently. But who cares? It was food and family and fun. If you look at the couple pictures I managed to remember to take, youll see moving boxes and crumpled paper in the back ground. Youll see I sat on a folding chair way too short for the table because we havent finished hauling everything into the house. Stuff is everywhere and we cant find much. We didnt wrap any gifts, but used gift bags from Dollar tree. I filled as many as I could and then ran back down the hall and refilled as needed. I had no time to wrap. I didnt send cards or my newsletter I am used to writing. Not even to my own dad. Not one single card. I havent had time to fill out the change of address card yet for the post office! I did make certain to move my Christmas tree and ornaments first so the tree went up before furniture came in. I baked a double batch of pumpkin bread and took some to several new neighbors to introduce myself. That was important to me and I squeezed in time to do it on Christmas Eve. Rest of it can wait and will be fine. The holiday isnt about how good it looks or how much you buy or how organized you are. Its about being happy with family and being kind and thoughtful to others around you. We had a Christmas to remember. (o:

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I've never tried to make my Christmas or any holiday perfect.

I start buying presents in August.
We are CASH only. So we don't worry about credit cards bills.
I did NOT do Christmas cards this year...
Menu is the same as it is every year...Turkey at Thanksgiving and Ham at Christmas....then the trimmings. I keep it simple.

Stop setting your expectations. Just GO with it.
Stop setting yourself for defeat....don't go for perfection - go for FAMILY. Then it will ALL be right!!

I'm sure it was good. Don't beat yourself up.
ours was quiet and nice...lots of laughter....**THAT** to me - is a GREAT holiday!

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

i let my hubby play Martha and just do the best that i can. I'm a little disappointed that my gift giving this year lacked sparkle, I could have done better, gotten better bargains, gotten more personal sort of gifts, wrapped them better that sort of thing. but i'm chosing to let it go.

I have been thinking about going back on the flylady.net bandwagon. I stopped following her website when i went' back to work, ironically when i probably needed it most, She has a great segment starting Nov first where every day she gets you thnkinging about one thing you can do to get ready for the holidays thanksgiving/christmas. like planning your menu, making sure you have tape, setting a gift budget, making travle arrangements what have you. all in a fun fun way.

In fact i think I'm going to go check her out right now.
Happy New Year!

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E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

"The Martha Gene" - you're hilarious! I *love* Christmas, and here are a few things I do to make sure I keep loving it:

-keep the gift exchanges to a minimum (we do gifts for each niece/nephew, stocking exchange with price limit and detailed xmas lists for the adults, and token gifts for my in-laws...and our immediate family, and that's it.)
-make Christmas plans no later than early/mid November (names drawn for stocking exchanges, deadlines set for xmas lists for those exchanges - I know what to expect, and have plenty of time to make time for the fun stuff I love about xmas)
-we used to travel all the time at xmas, and it was so stressful. Now we stay put and invite people to visit in November or early December for "our" xmas with them, or postpone guests to January or February, when it's much cheaper and less crowded to travel
-pull out the decorations early (it feels like xmas "season" rather than a rush to pull it all together last minute
- choose two or three family favorites to bake in bulk, throw them in the freezer and pull them out as people visit etc
-emphasize the small traditions, rather than "the big gift" - takes all the stress out of finding "the perfect gift" for the kids (ideas for the small traditions: family time in front of the fire playing games, building lego, reading etc, xmas eve drive with hot chocolate and popcorn to look at xmas lights, family walk on xmas day, decorating gingerbread houses etc...making it a fun season, rather than a big build up to a gift)
-I keep an eye out for gifts for my kids and the other kids I buy for all year round, so when I see something (for example at the Science Center gift shop in August, I buy it and tuck it away - by the time December comes around, I'm usually mostly done and just looking for a couple of timely items, like this year my boys discovered lightsabers, so they completed the (small) haul
-keeping it simple - we don't go overboard on xmas gifts
-my husband and I do something for us as a couple for xmas, rather than having to come up with the "perfect" gift for one another (some things we've done: bike rack for our car, an hour with a nutritionist and financial planner, gortex jackets etc)
-xmas dinner with family is pot luck style - we decide on a menu (rarely turkey) and split up who will bring what - it's delicious, fun and takes the stress off whomever is hosting

I hope this helps! Cheers to a stress-free xmas next year!

ps- I forgot to mention what I didn't do - I didn't send xmas cards this year. We moved this fall and I didn't have the time (or energy) to update our contacts list, choose the perfect photo, pre-order etc...so I didn't. And I let it go. Good for those who managed it - it wasn't me this year! Oh well.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I lower my expectations. I don't send cards and if I host dinner I ask for help from guests. I'm definitely not any where near Martha Stewart and it's OK with me. I start buying gifts in October during regular shopping trips for what I need that day.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm with you and I stay at home and dont have a job. Basically I am a put off person. Then I deal as it comes. I want to stop doing that but havent figured out how.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I must give a big thanks to Presto & Cuisanart! I chop a large onion, celery, and peel a few cloves of garlic and put them in separate dishes. They are chunky not diced. As I need them I plop a handful in the chopper and in seconds they are ready. Fill a sink of hit soapy water and as you finish with a spoon or beaters, drop them in to soak...no knives. When it is full, stick your hands in there and swish. Change the water and they should be easy to clean. This year I made 1 prime rib & 1 large turkey breast instead of the whole bird. It was more than enough for 10. The salad I cut everything but the tomatoes the night before. No home made pies this year. I purchased the pumpkin, carrot, and chocolate rolls from the school and froze them. Moist & tasty.

Cards I only gave to family. Most often I think they are not appreciated. Everyone is busy and only if I knew someone puts out a card wreath would I send them out, unless I had a fun pic to share. For the family I had dinner with, I gave them a family fun gift card, like for the movies.

I do have an alarm on my calendar to tell me to get started. I start that in October, however that is for my photography business to contact those who may need holiday photos.

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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Well, I don't know if my way is the best. I'm a teacher and from the time I started college until now, I've been too busy with school stuff to think about Christmas until winter break. I accept that fact and don't try to stress over it. I buy cards and any new decorations at after Christmas sales (I'll be doing that this week) those cards and decorations will be stored and used next year. I pack the cards with the Christmas lights and over Thanksgiving weekend, I unpack the cards and lights and my husband and I put up the lights. I only do necessary shopping for gift exchanges, etc. at the time needed. Other than the above I take things day by day. My son's birthday is two weeks before Christmas, basically right between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I go from Thanksgiving to Birthday to Christmas. I shop online a lot. My in-laws and parents live nearby. We do Thanksgiving with my in-laws, birthday here, Christmas at my folks'. Fortunately, all I have to do is bring something to those gatherings. I wait to do most of my Christmas shopping and decorating until school closes for winter break. I have learned how to ignore the crowds and power shop in just a few days. I send the child to a baby-sitter and do it alone. Sometimes I over-spend, but this year I did cash only. I do a mass mailing of my cards on one of those days also. I recommend as another poster mentioned scheduling a few days off this time of year if you can. Fortunately, with my job I am able to spend some time re-charging and enjoy the holidays.

I think the most important thing for me is that I know it's okay for things to not be "perfect". Whatever we do, we have some family time together.

Lastly, I allow myself a few toddies during the card writing and gift wrapping, I do as much for my overworked husband as possible, and I allow a lot more tv for the child than usual to help us all stay relaxed along the way.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't do any entertaining or hosting, so I can't help with that part. But the two things I do that help:

1) Save two vacation days for early and mid-December. (I plan for this all year) Make lists of what I want to get done on those days. The 2nd day is mostly to wrap up what I didn't get done on the first day and to ship packages.

2) Do everything online. I got Amazon Prime and bought nearly all my gifts online with free shipping. I ordered all my cards online (Shutterfly), and had my labels and stamps ready when the cards arrived. The postal service now has package pickup at your home (schedule it online) so I don't even have to fight the lines at the post office.

I don't start 'til the first week in December, and I'm generally done by my 2nd vacation day (around the 18th). If I forgot a gift, Amazon prime has overnight shipping for $3.99 which is worth avoiding shopping at the mall with my fellow procrastinators.

I never strived for perfection, so I would agree with the others who say to do your best to get that monkey off your back. Here's a excerpt from Love and Logic that struck me as true:

"What was your best Christmas as a kid? Was it the one where there was a lot of stress about a perfect meal elegantly served-on time-to a perfectly dressed family? Or was it the one where the dog pulled the turkey off the stove and dragged it away through the dog door? There was no perfect meal that day. Everyone rolled with the punches. They rolled up their sleeves and worked together in the kitchen to salvage a makeshift meal.

The beauty of that memory is not in perfection and organization, but in remembering the joy of being together and doing things together. It was the laughter. It was one of those days when the choices were to laugh or to cry, so you all laughed it off and enjoyed one another. It brought you all together in a different way.

Holidays are times for enjoying one another. We are not suggesting that you purposely feed the turkey to the pets, but we strongly suggest that an imperfect day with little stress will create better memories of loving relationships.

We wish you a perfectly imperfect holiday season."

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My cards never went out, I went to my moms for dinner and bought the bare minimum for gifts.. I need to get more organized.

Cards, Get labels and put peoples addresses in and print out when you get them done. We do pictures, and Sam's club does a sale thanksgiving weekend. I get the pictures done before them ( I take them myself) then order them I get 100 for $15. This year I handed them out as I saw people.

This year was especially hard because I have a 6 month old and we re did our kitchen starting the weekend before Thanksgiving. So by the time we got the kitchen finished. It was too late to do many things including put the tree up.

Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I actually found Peace this season! My lists were made the beginning of November. Our holiday schedule was on the calendar, & by the middle of November.....don't laugh, ladies!....I had a "by the week plan"! LOL!

I took an oversized piece of construction paper & created a column for each of the 4 weeks prior to Christmas. This included all of our time commitments + a shopping/gift list needed for each party + a menu for each party, including my groc shopping list to make each of the dishes.

The week before each event, I made sure my lists were crossed off....the gifts wrapped & put together in a travel bag....& tried to jumpstart my baking. By the night before each event, I found that I was able to relax & concentrate on the next week's events. It was truly amazing how this all flowed! Creating a timeline was my lifesaver!

For some reason, my gift purchasing went very smoothly this year. I began mid-November...searching for the oddball items online. Electronics were purchased on/after Black Friday....& I found waiting brought better prices! JCPenneys was great about sending me coupons each time I made a purchase. I ended up with 4 straight weeks of coupons from them! For the most part, I stuck to budget for all on my list! ++ I had time/means to create/handmake some of my gifts. Love, love, love when it all falls into place!

I have an inhome daycare + a son in high school who's in Band, Scouts, StuCo, & a couple other clubs. We have a very full schedule....& somehow it all came together. My only stressful moment came when I realized that my Mom/I would be at Silver Dollar City all day on Friday & then would have a houseful (at my home) on Saturday & then travel to St Louis on Christmas to be with my Gma (who's 90). The thought of traveling/being away all day Friday....the day before our own houseful.... completely wiped me out emotionally - until I simplified our menu.

In the end, my DH (who had planned to stay home & dogsit) put the ham in the oven & peeled the taters.....so all I had to do was setup all of the food/snacks. It worked beautifully...the menu was yummm....& all was well! To be able to pull off a full day at the amusement park + travel .... all on the day before our Christmas Eve full of family was a challenge. My sleeping schedule was a mess! Got home from the park at 2:30am & had all of the family rolling in before Noon! But it all worked out....due to a joint effort of all family involved! Kids will do anything to be able to hit the park!

Hope my pre-planning scheduling ideas help you.....

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I buy for my children and hubby in our immediate family. I buy for in laws, 2 nieces, 4 sister in laws on his side and my niece, nephew, sister, parents and uncle on my side. Oh add in teachers, bus driver and daycare. I start buying in Jan/Feb. If I see something X person would like, I buy it. I used to sock away $100 a month ($25/week) towards a Christmas fund but then stopped doing that for whatever reason.

As far as food and having people over, we always go to my in laws and parents house so we usually are responsible for bringing 1-2 things that are easy to make/bring and don't have to worry about cleaning the house. So I guess we are spoiled there. We made devilled eggs and green bean casserole for my parents house and baked a frozen cherry pie for his parents.

I do not go all out with decorating our house. We have decorations indoor and out but our house is small. It is definitely not something worthy of any Martha Stuart magazine. But I do add to our decorations every year. Some years it's bigger stuff - last year we bought four reindeer and a tree for our yard. This year it was a red door ornament (actually larger than a standard ornament) that I wrote our last name and the year on it.

Christmas cards I bought last year when they were on sale - 75% off. I did not buy any this year and am not sure I will be sending them out next year. Most of the people I talk to or care to send to are on FB anyways.

We did start two new traditions this year - going to the park on Christmas Eve day - just to get fresh air and let the kids run around before all the hustle/bustle of the holidays. Then the day after Christmas we made sugar cookies with the kids! These are two traditions we hope to carry through the years. I realize as the kids get older going to the park may not be as interesting so we may have to change that up a bit :)

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Catherine, I haven't read the other responses, so forgive me if mine is the same as everyone else's. I find that the best thing is to just "know" my gift list people. My neices and nephew, SIL's and sisters, etc. When I hear or see something that they like, I make a note of it. I do ask if the kids have "lists". I don't usually buy ahead - I get the sales better by waiting (but I don't shop on black friday - yuck!) I start on my Christmas cards early, but never finish them until after Christmas - ha ha! I don't write too many in one day because writing hurts my hand. Most years I type a Christmas letter and personalize it to each family, and include a family picture on it, OR just send a family pic and write on the back, but I didn't do that this year. Too worn out from having done my son's graduation announcement, scrapbook/photobook, and all of that.

I got most of what was needed before traveling, and then went down to family last weekend. We spent some time in stores just looking around and picking up things for each other, especially trying on clothes (no surprises with that - funny to watch the boys open up the shirts they picked out, and they thought it was funny too). Kind of like adding to the wardrobe during the sales and making a joke out of wrapping them!

We did do two big meals, one with each family, on different days. I am so NOT a Martha Stewart in any way, shape or form, and feel good to have a wreath on my door, Christmas tree up, and the Christmas theme up in my dining room. It was for 3 weeks before Christmas and for the kids who come over to see my college son. I didn't do a whole shebang with us not being home the week of Christmas, for sure.

So I hope that you will stop comparing yourself to your mom, and decide how much YOU like and what makes you feel that YOU are ready for Christmas. I figure that if I have something by Christmas Eve for my family and friends, I'm doing good. I don't want to stress about Christmas. I have other things to stress about!

Dawn

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C.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I wanna see what everybody says!! My kids are now 29 and 25 and I have a daughter-in-law and 3 year old grandson.. i didn't work full-time when they were little. .. but I do know how you are feeling/ felt... and since I do now work full time and they aren't all at home.. I try to take off days at the beginning of the month to get started smoothly.. hmmm doesn't always work and this year on Dec 23 I was power shopping .. 8 stores, the cemetery and home before 11:30 am.... and that felt wonderful.. I also decided on not making christmas dinner so detailed. and it was ok.. not my best but ok.. i ordered honey baked ham and turkey... and it was ok.. but i just wanted to tell you that everything doesn't have to be perfect and so what if you don't get the cards out till after Christmas? I know exactually what you mean about the Martha Stewart gene.. i didn't get it either just a powerful desire for it to be that way.. my mom has been gone almost 9 years now and i'll always remember how everything was always so clean and neat.. : (....... just relish in the moments with your kids and forget the rest.. they are the most important anyways : ) this year I made sure no body else was at our house when our grandson came.. so we could enjoy him opening his presents and everything.. it was good : ) Have a blessed and happy New year! xo C. (____@____.com)..

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I do start shopping in July! I keep a list on my phone of the people to buy for and my past list of what I bought the last 2 years. I jot down ideas of what to get people and put them all in a box in my closit when I buy it.

I usually take the week off before Christmas but I wasnt hosting this year so I worked. We always take a photo for our Christmas cards the day after thanks giving and have them printed at Costco for Monday pickup. We also put up the tree day after thanksgiving.

I use reusable gift bags and fleece fabric to wrap gifts anytime after the tree is up.

It didn't all go perfect. I had bought some gift cards 2 months before. Christmas and didnt put them in the box and had to buy new ones but most years it works great.

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V.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I too stress out every single Christmas Season. My stress starts after Halloween because 4 of the kids who live with me have birthdays with in three weeks of each other at the end of November first part of December. Trying to get everyone the ideal gifts, scheduling all the parties etc. is very overwhelming. I don't do Christmas Cards, I try to bake cookies for people but don't feel too bad if that doesn't happen. I try to lighten the load as much as possible but sometimes... I just break. I don't know how people do it but maybe it's just me and my family, with their bdays so close to Christmas.

I personally, as much as I love Christmas, am glad it's over. :) Good Luck for next year!

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Ours was very relaxed and easy going and we even hosted the family this year! I don't have crazy high standards but I do try to decorate the house nice, get Christmas cards out, do a decent job wrapping gifts but not overly fancy, we attend several holiday events and do a few crafty things. I think the reason we got buy without much stress this year was all those amazing deal sites and amazon! I was buying through the year so once December got here I only had a few gifts to get and most of them were gift cards.

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Catherine, sorry if this is a repeat to other answers. We have 3 birthdays in December and 3 in early January so I feel the crunch and try to get organized early. I order our Christmas cards online in early Nov. I use Halloween as my cue to get going. I usually get a good coupon too. Then I have them ready to go after Thanksgiving. I do online shopping. The dinner is usually the same menu. Start in the morning and eat when it's done. A good friend told me their tradition on Christmas is to all go to the movies so Mom has a good 2 hours with the house to herself to cook. Sounds sort of fun but we haven't tried it.

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