Children with Cell Phones

Updated on January 14, 2014
M.B. asks from Riverside, CA
38 answers

Should a 9 year old have an iPhone 5? Should they have a cell phone at all? I THINK NOT!

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So What Happened?

Thanks guys for your responses. Some of you were really helpful and others seem kind of mean. I realized that some felt that i was being judgmental and I didn't realized I came off that way. I guess I came off that way because my son feels like he is obligated to get one because he says that his "whole class has one" and I felt bad for him. I still stand by what I said in that he shouldn't have one because their is NO NEED FOR ONE!. Now passing one down and allowing him to have it to call 911 if need be, but a working phone on a plan, No! What people over looked is that I believe that if a child has tons of activities they are involved in, I can understand them having a cell, but necessarily an iPhone. But one things for certain that hit home that some of you said and that was giving a child a cell whose in a home where they may be with dad or mom every other weekend. That parent has the luxury of always speaking directly to that child instead of going through their x or the new spouse, which would be my situation. The thing is, she had a cell phone passed down to her with very limited text and talk. Now he and his x are paying for a $500 phone on the edge plan, where they split the pay for the $500 phone on a monthly plan until its paid off. My issue is the girl is glued to it. It's,like there are no rules with the phone. The phone is used at the dinner table, the phone is used at church and not to look at the bible. Every time you see her she is glued to the phone. If she doesn't have it, it must be dead. I just don't see a NEED for my son to have a cell, but others who posted helped me realize why my husband's child would need one, but not necessarily the latest iphone. To those who may have been offended, I'm sorry. I meant no harm. I guess everyone has their reasons for providing their child with an iPhone, but this one at my house isn't getting one anytime soon unless circumstances change, like being involved in multiple activities.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

If you think NOT, why are you asking what everyone else thinks?

One thing I've learned as a parent-- minding my own business. Do I think it's silly for a nine year old to have such a phone? Probably. Am I going to get incensed and type in all caps about it? Probably not.

Every family does what works for them. Do what works for you.

20 moms found this helpful

E.A.

answers from Erie on

At that age, I carried a dime with me in my pocket, in case I needed to call home from the park or wherever I was. I don't see a cell phone as much different,especially since there aren't pay phones anymore (at least, not a lot of them).

fyi
None of my kids at 9yo had a phone. And my kids that do (at ages 16 and 19), pay for it themselves. SO THERE *sticks out tongue at those making judgments* /snicker

8 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

MY nine year old? No, because s/he doesn't need it and I don't want to spend that much money. Someone else's nine year old? That's their business, not mine. I don't care what other people do or do not spend their money on.

5 moms found this helpful

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

then don't get one for YOUR 9yo :) problem solved.

18 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

I don't think most kids that age should have them, but I make decisions for my own kids and not others. Some families feel their children need or deserve them for their own reasons, which are none of my (or your) business. What a judgmental post!

Eta - hey Ronda, my 9 year old doesn't have a phone. My middle schooler got to have my 6 year old dumb phone to carry for emergencies just this year, since she's in a lot of after school activities that require rides and walking. Over three months of 10 cents a minute or 20 cents a text, she has spent just over $2 - all of it in calls and texts to me. So no, you can't tell who gave their kids phones at an early age. I can agree my kid doesn't need a phone but still see this post is obnoxiously judgmental.

10 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Pretty judgmental to say that, unless you know all the details of the parties involved, don't you think?

Would "I" give my 9 year old one? No. Did either of my kids (at 9) have ANY kind of cell phone? No.

But... there are kids that split time between their divorced parents' homes that it makes more sense for them to have a cell phone. And you can turn off/limit access to the internet, etc.

I know a lot of people who say they pass their "old" phone down to their kids. Iphone 5 has been out a few months. Maybe the kid's parent decided they didn't like it, bought something else for themselves, and gave it to the kid. If they can afford it, who cares.

Does the family have money problems? If they do, then it's stupid for a child to be carrying that. The monthly costs are a waste of money that is likely better spent elsewhere. But, I am thinking that a parent that is bad with money isn't likely to care that this isn't a wise use of funds. It's just more evidence that they are bad with money.

Do I agree with thinking every kid should have the latest greatest technology at their fingertips? NO!
But, I am not going to go rant on a forum about it, either. Not my kid. Not my place. Not up to me to decide.

7 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

It depends on the kid and the situation they live in.

7 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

You seem really upset about this. Why is it your business? Your child? Stepchild??

My daughter who is 10 has had a phone for several years. She gets our old ones, but not a smart phone ONLY because I refuse to pay $30 a month for it. If it was no additional cost for her to have an iphone, I wouldn't care.

6 moms found this helpful
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W..

answers from Chicago on

I think it depends on the situation, the parents and the kid.

6 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Denver on

My personal opinion doesn't matter. If the child's parents decide their 9yr old should have an iPhone 5, that's their call and none of my business. My girls don't have an iPhone 5. But they do have iPhone 4s'. They're 11 and 13. Their dad and I decided it would work for us as a family if they had those. Whether you or anyone else agrees or not, or judges me or not, is not my concern. Like that saying goes, "your opinion of me is none of my business".

5 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

None of your business. It is this exact kind of GENERAL JUDGING of other people and other families that makes us all half crazy as parents!

WHY do you think you know better than the 9 year olds parents? WHY simply assume that it is fun based instead of needs based? WHY get all bent out of shape over what another family has decided works best for them?

Go get a hobby and stop paying so much attention to everyone else.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i don't think 9 year olds need smartphones, but cell phones are a necessity today. back in the stone ages we'd have had change for a payphone, or kids were encouraged to knock on a door and ask politely to use the phone. can you imagine that today?
a good compromise used by many families i know with young kids is to keep one of those cheap prepaid phones on hand to give the kids if they're going somewhere without the parents and might need one.
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful
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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

Each family makes the rules/choices for their own families and it if doesn't directly effect you then who cares.

My daughter got her iPhone for FREE when we added her line for her Bday last year. She got a phone b/c she walks our dog, walks to a from school and goes to friends houses and the neighborhood park. Even though we are in a SAFE neighborhood I want her to have something to contact me no matter what.

4 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It is really not my place to make that judgment because I don't know the situation at home with that 9 yr old and why the parents make that choice. The child may or may not need a cell phone.

I can see plenty of reasons why a child would need a cell phone and I know plenty of parents who refuse to allow their children to have a cell phone.

I just do what is right for my family and don't worry about others.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My 8 year old has a 4s (no service so it acts as an ipod), my 6 year old has an ipod 5, my 4 year old has the 8 year old's old ipod 4. They can text and facetime and that works. And the 8 year old uses the features a lot. Should he need the calling feature/or access over a cell connection instead of wifi (which I forsee coming within the next two years) I will activate the iphone. The iphone simply makes it a one device kind of thing - acts as his cell, texting, portable movie player, mp3 player, gaming system, camera, video recorder. It's just more simple when one device does it all.

Would I get him a 5? No - those are a bit of money (not to mention I can think of other ways to spend that money) and for his purposes the 4s will work fine. I know people who have kids with the 5 (I live in an affluent area). But it's their disposable income to spend. Doesn't matter to me.

My BFF's child got a cell phone at age 9. Did he need one? Yes - with need being a relative term. They are divorced and with the kids going back and forth between the parents houses (and the parents were not on great terms at that point in time) it was easier and better to be able to call the children instead of having to deal with hostile exspouses.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from New York on

In general no - 9 year olds don't need a cell.

However, family dynamics can be very different for some kids than what we think of as a "typical" family. My son had a friend in 4th & 5th grade that had a fancy cell phone (this was 4-5 years ago) becuase he lived with his mom who didn't have a landline - only a cell phone and his dad wanted to be able to reach him without calling his ex whereve she might be at the moment (really awkward when mom was on a date). Dad traveled alot for business and couldn't alway call at the most convenient times so after talking with his ex he got a nice phone for his son. He could call & talk to him at 8:00 AM or at 4:00 pm when his son was at afterschool program, etc.

BUT - if it's just a spoiled kid with a cell phone - I'm with you - it's just stupid.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think it depends on the child and if the parents want to be able to reach them or the child has a need to be able to reach the parents. If that child is walking home alone or being dropped off at friends houses, I think i would like to have them have access to a phone in case of an emergency or to let me know about a change of plans. I don't know if a nine year old would be responsible enough to keep up with a phone though. I don't think they need all the bells and whistles of an iPhone 5.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

We may be way behind the times, however even our almost 12 year old does not have a cell phone (much less an iPhone). Yes, almost all the other kids in his small private school class do, but we see no need for our children to have a phone at this point. They are always with a trusted adult (who has a cell phone and can contact us if needed) and they travel in a small circuit in our rural community. A friend of mine has said that even his high schooler just got a cell phone this year, and they only use it for texting when she is done with swim or crosscountry practice. His attitude is that they prefer for their children to learn to deal with boredom in ways other than going online or texting or calling people. A different take on things...

I will say, however, that our decision is based only on our particular family's situation and the community in which we live. Every family is different and needs to make a decision based on their own situation.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

Both my 6 year old and 8 year old have their own cell phones - the latest and greatest. My husband works for a cell phone company and both phones were free. However, they do not have a phone number. Instead they use them to play games. Our feelings are that it's no different than if they had a Nintendo dsi or other handheld gaming system except that for us, this option is free. There are rules in place for when and how long the kids can use their phones and there are also consequences in place for not following those rules. As for the 9 year old you're talking about having an iPhone 5, it could be possible that one of their parents works for the company. Until a month ago, my kids had much nicer cell phones than I did. My motto has always been: To each their own.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

With my older kids, they didn't get a cell phone until they were driving. My youngest is a different story. As time progressed, we got rid of our landline, so as my son got old enough to be home alone after school (4th grade) - we got him a cell phone. He couldn't be home with nothing, so our choice was to get a landline, or get him a cell phone. He's been very responsible with it. We didn't get him a smart phone until Christmas. We don't do iphones in our family.

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

My 9-year-old did -- well she had a cell anyway. She went to her dad's every other weekend and he didn't have a house phone, so he got her a cell phone so she and I could talk without having to call his phone. It wasn't an iPhone initially, but after a few years he got a great deal one one and added it to his plan and gave it to her.

If you choose not to do this, that's fine. But don't judge others. You have no idea why they are doing this, nor do you know their financial picture. For some (like my ex) money is no object.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Most 9 year olds don't need a cell. There are some situations where I think it would be necessary. An iPhone 5?? That's just a status thing...the parents want you to know they're rich or want you to think they're rich. Sad, really!

Updated

Most 9 year olds don't need a cell. There are some situations where I think it would be necessary. An iPhone 5?? That's just a status thing...the parents want you to know they're rich or want you to think they're rich. Sad, really!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

An Iphone 5, no. I don't think a teenager needs it either. Maybe a teen could use a smart phone but not that type. Does a 9 yr old need a cell? That depends on their life. If the child has a bunch of activities after school or goes home alone, then maybe yes. My older kids are 14 and they do not have one but they were never involved in many things. I am however seeing that maybe we might need to get an extra phone to have since my son is on the debate team at school so has after school activities and one of my girls is on cross country and track. She has an Ipod and can text if she gets a Wi-Fi connection but that is not always the case.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Our oldest is 7, and we are so far from giving him a cell phone that we haven't even discussed it yet. However, I friend of ours just bought one for his 7 year old niece (who lives with him) Caught me by surprise until he told us all his reasons and that this is something he'd been thinking about for quite some time. He had some really good reasons and probably made the right decision under the circumstances.

I noticed some people saying never a smart phone or never an IPhone. The thing is, depending on your cell phone company and cell phone plan, the difference might be pennies. There are ways to get these phones fairly inexpensive if you sign a contract. There are refurbished phones that are free. It's not quite as cut and dry as it appears.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I don't think anyone needs a cell phone, but whether or not they have one isn't my business. I don't have one and my kids don't have them either. I am sure they are useful and nice to have, but I have better things to spend my money on.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

My 14 years old does ! at age 9 or 10 (can't remember which) he got a pay as you go basic phone. He was going to ball practice, to friends, etc. As he proved his responsibility, he moved up to a smart phone. He got an Iphone 4 last year. We switched carriers this year and moved his to the new carrier right at Christmas. He had to have a new phone so we went ahead with the Iphone 5. He has to have it for school. Most of his classes have online stuff they have them look up. Granted - if you don't have a phone they do make accomodations for that but it is a lot easier just to have one. My son has never lost his phone or broken it. I think it depends on the kids, family, what it is needed for, etc. It is their parents choice on how to handle this situation.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Nope.
I don't even have an iPhone 5.

But, having a cell phone, other than that, for many kids, it is needed.
My daughter got a phone once she entered Middle School.
It is a basic, cell phone.

1 mom found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

You can tell which parents gave their young children cell phones from their replies...

I would get my 9 year old a cheapie cell only if she or he had to walk home alone, in the dark from school.

In my situation, that was not my reality, so no, no cell phone until 13.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

a child's cell phone where you can pre-program important numbers. A 9y/o doesn't need that kind of phone

1 mom found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Nope, I think it's way too young. Both my stepkids have had SEVERAL since they were about 8 and 10, and lost them all (mom keeps buying them so we say let her waste her money). Then when the monthly bill came around their mom didn't have the money to pay, they'd get all PO'd. Who needs that? Not me or dad, that's for sure. Maybe next year when stepson goes to high school we'll get him a very basic phone, but certainly not an Iphone of any kind. If he wants something fancier, he can get a summer job mowing lawns, washing cars, or walking dogs to pay for it AND the monthly bill. Heck, if he'd start getting better grades instead of the C's and D's that are constantly on his progress reports, I might even split the monthly cost with him.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If the parents want them to have one it's not your business.

Our 10 year old has been wanting one for several years. We told her we'd talk about it when she turned 10.

To have a cell phone she has to exhibit responsibility. That means the cat is never hungry, never without water, never trying to find a patch of litter that isn't caked so she can go potty, her dirty clothes find their way into the dirty clothes hamper in her bedroom, her toys find their way to their homes at least once per week, and she works to be an active participant in the home by helping out when needed.

So far she's still working on that. Once she is showing she's responsible and can handle having a phone that won't be lost under a pile of laundry or lost outside in the sand then we'll look into the cheapest most restricted cell phone we can purchase.

Just to add...

Smart phones are dirt cheap and even free if you look around and try to work within your own cell plan.

When hubby and I were going to change providers we walked in to a U S Cellular store to view their plans and they had a buy one get one free sale going on for Christmas. They also had a LOT of smart phones on sale for $99. They also had some $100 rebate sales going on.

So, we BOTH got Samsung Mesmerize smart phones, both were $600+ phones. Each was on sale for $99. With all the sales we got we got both phones buy buying one for $99 and got one free then sent off the $100 rebate for each one. So we got two gift master card gift cards each for $100. We paid $99 cash and got $200 back, they PAID us $101 to take their brand new line of smart phones.

We have stayed with them through the years and have a good plan. We build up points every month and can use those points to get a new phone. Right now hubby and I BOTH have the Note 2 phones. We didn't have to pay a penny for either one. We used our points and got them.

So just because someone has a smart phone or an I-phone does NOT mean it's a waste of money, they could have gotten it for free or for a very reduced amount.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't think a 9 yr old needs a cell phone.
Our son didn't have a cell phone till he was in 8th grade.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.N.

answers from Denver on

I personally do not think it is necessary for a 9 year old. But I'm old school. No phones, no TVs in their bedrooms, etc. At 9 (or 10 or 11) they are with me or another adult at ALL times. No need.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Jacksonville on

My 9 yr old wants a phone. We tell her no because she is either in school or with us-who the heck does she need to call?! She'll get a basic phone when she starts walking home in middle school. She won't get an iPhone until she can pay for it and the monthly bill! She does have an ipad and loves to face time and I message on it, though. That'll have to do for now!

M.S.

answers from Omaha on

Speaking only for me, no. My daughter will be 9 in June. At this stage, she is always in the presence of an adult. There is no reason for her to have a phone. She's at school, or after school care. She doesn't walk home from school. With outside activities, we take her and wait for her. She is never in a place where she has to try and reach us. She is with one parent or the other. She goes to playdates, and grandparents house. We always know where she is. I am not concerned that she wants to send a text to a friend that she can speak with at recess. She can just write an old fashioned note. That is our dynamic. If my child was in a situation where there was no one watching her, like walking home from school alone and alone when she got home, then I would consider it. Even then I wouldn't be concerned with getting the lastest phone. It would be for calling in an emergency. At this stage, I can always reach her. So no in our case.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

In my house they would not. If you don't know where your nine year old is at all times, that's a real problem.

K.L.

answers from Dallas on

Cell phone at 9? No way... my kid might get one at 16... might.. but why do little kids need phones? one that doesn't have service is different..mine plays games on an old iphone (he's 3) but it can't do much else.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My 10 year old has had a cell phone since he was 9. He got an old recycled non-smart phone after his older brother got a iphone as a graduation present. It is wonderful. He gets migraines and can now call and text me when he is at swim practice or a friend's house and feels a migraine coming on. He doesn't have to tell the coach that he has to borrow his phone, for example and this makes it more likely that he will deal with and treat his migraines quickly as he previously would try to push through the pain as he was embarrassed about asking for help.
He can text his cousin who lives far away and it has helped them bond over the distance. We have taught him how to be responsible and that having it is not a right. I love knowing that if we accidentally get separated, we have a way to immediately get in touch. It is your right to think this is not okay, but I find that it is a wonderful example of how technology helps.

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