Children and Friends

Updated on April 13, 2008
S.D. asks from Peoria, AZ
4 answers

How do you help a child fit in ? My 8 year old child is well liked by so many kids, but they tend to leave her behind a lot. They don't wait for her as they move to one place to the other at school. My child prays each night to be quick on her feet so she can catch up too the kids in her school. She does not seem to be too upset about these things, but it is really bothering me more then her. Shall I just allow things to be how they are? I feel like I am more upset on how she is treated then she is. Sometimes her body language is a little more excitable then these kids.... I am thinking sometimes they think she is strange to be so happy over something so small... it is really her personality , but in hind-sight I think she strives to be loved and liked and laughed with. I just feel that they are forming a group type atmosphere and clicks are forming and my child is not the number one girl to be apart of it. They kind of tell her what to do and really don't give her an opportunity to make decision in what they play. I have taught her to stand up for herself, and she does and they are listening...but it is a constant thing she has to do. Shall I encourage other friends ? Any thoughts?

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answers from Las Cruces on

My oldest has always been the odd one out. She really had a hard time making friends growing up, cause me moved so much she really never learned how to make friends. When she finally got to jr, high it was worse. She was picked on so bad about being different. My daughter does not have deforaties or anything, she just really has a creative mind and she see the world totally different than anyone else. I have always taught her that if people don't like her for herself then it is their loss. I told her never to change herself for someone. Now she is in High school and she has learned to be herself and laugh at herself so no one can laugh at her, they all laugh with her. It really comes with time. Now if she has friends and it doesn't bother her with what is going on with the friends let it be. You could be reacting to something that you went through, maybe. But you also don't want to make her bossy. She seems to be very happy and that will be in her favor later on in life. My youngest is welled liked by kids also, but she is a go woth the flow kind of kid. She will tell me when someone tells her something that hurts her feelings, but if someone doesn't want to play with her she finds something else to do. I think that she will be fine. Just let her know how special she is and that anyone that becomes her friend will be very lucky to know her.
S. C



answers from Flagstaff on

Does she have one or two special friends that are kind and thoughtful to her? I would encourage those friendships. She may be less of a "herd" kind of girl and more of a one-on-one.



answers from Phoenix on

If possible, start eating lunch w/her at her school cafeteria. I did this with my son. I would start talking to the kids around us so everyone was comfortable talking to each other and my son.
Then I would go to the playground after lunch and play and talk to the kids and ease my son in and it worked like a charm. I wouldnt be on the playground but just a few minutes.
I also volunteered alot at the school and eventually got to know which kids were compatable friends for my son.
Also going on field trips and doing the same thing by getting all the kids interacting among each other.
I met many parents this way and would invite them over w/ their kids to play.



answers from Tucson on

Wow that is great that she prays to catch up with her friends.
Maybe get her involved in a new sport that she will thrive in and where she will be valued for what she is good at and included. Girl Scouts is another option.
Have mini play days and then increase.
my 8 yo tends to like having one best friend.
we just moved here I am a little worried for her also.
Hope u have peace about this,

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