Child Throws Fit When Put down for Nap/bedtime.

Everybody already has great advice. I just wanted to say:

Start Early!!

It Does Get Better!!!

Hi S.,

Tough times, but they too shall pass...I know, I didn't like hearing that either. ;)

Anyway, I am not a fan of the 'cry it out' methods, and my 2yo sleeps like a pro. She is even in a toddler bed and doesn't get out until I come get her. What I did was the sitting by her crib and progressing to the door method. It took about three nights. She settled with my presence and never got to the point of having to cry for hours. My friend did the 'pick up' thing, and her dd still will cry for her Mama endlessly, so I think I would choose my method if I do it again.

One thing I didn't see mentioned, is to remember that babies just learning to pull up and stand, do not yet know how to sit back down. This is terrifying to them, because they do not think they can sit without falling. Must be a weird sensation. I point this out as a reminder that sitting/laying him down may be a necessity to stop the crying. Practicing sitting down is just as important as practicing standing/walking, and should be done throughout each day. I taught DD 'upsie daisy' to stand and 'downsy daisy' to sit. It was great fun for her and she never got STUCK standing in her crib.

I could go on, but I think that about covers it. :)

Best wishes!! :)

My third child (my first boy) is also 9 months old, and he has started this too. Although he cant pull himself up yet, he goes crazy if I leave him in his crib too. Now, I, unlike most other mothers, strongly disagree with letting them cry like it sounds like he is. My feeling is, that is the only way he can tell you he need something, and at this young age, I just cant teach him that I intend to ignore his pleas, hoping he will just give it up after a few days. I realize that I am in the minority, and accept that, but he is my 3rd, and I have done childcare for 10 years, and I do not have any overly dependant children. They have never slept in my bed, and even the baby will sleep in his crib, but I take the 5--10 minutes it takes to rock with him etc, until he is asleep. I love that time, and find it easier to take that little bit of time, than to waste an hour fighting the battle!! I also think that he is ready for less nap time, so it might be that your little one really is not ready to go to sleep yet. RJ sleeps for 2 naps now, and he used to need 3. He gets a little crabby in the evening, but he is not ready for bed, just worn out from the busy day. I say, do what feels best to you, and see if there is something you could use to comfort him. Maybe a special blankie, or even if it is you,, take it, they wont need you like this for much longer...get all the snuggles you can! Good luck, and let me know if there is any other way I could help, I am no expert, but do have lots of experience on this subject, although I am the first to aknowledge that what works for me, may not work for all!

I went through the same thing with my daughter at naptime when she was little. She did fine at night, but for some reason, she hated going down for naps. I let her cry and just checked on her every 10-15 minutes. There were days when she would cry for over an hour too and I kept thinking that this "sleep training" thing just wasn't working. But, just about the time I was ready to give up, she learned, so hang in there! Now, we have no problems at all. She goes right into her crib for naps and at night and just knows it's time to sleep. No fussing whatsoever. It takes about a week or maybe two to teach them that you aren't coming in to get them, but he will catch on. Good luck. I know there were days that we both cried and that's okay too! It's really hard to hear them cry, but it is soooo worth it to teach them when they're younger.

S.,
My son just turned 9 months and was doing the same thing during naps. At night, he went to bed no problem, but putting him down for a nap was a battle. I decided to try to let him nap somewhere else and it did the trick. I think he associated his crib with "sleeptime" and did not yet want to go to "real sleep".
We have a pack and play that I sometimes use as a playpen in the living room when I'm doing laundry and I dont want him getting into something he's not supposed to. He crawls,stands,and pulls things down from the tables! He pulls cords until whatever its connected to falls down.
Anyway, when its time for a nap, I swaddle him up and give him a bottle. I place him in the playpen on a pillow. When he's almost done with his bottle, i switch it with his pacifier and his eyes close for about an hour. He only takes 2 naps a day now. I also leave the TV on for background noise so that the noise I make while cleaning doesnt startle him awake. I let the natural light from outside come in through the windows and have him sleep right there in the middle of the living room. If you are going to do something real loud, like vaccum,you can put the playpen in another room,just dont put it in the same room as his crib or he'll throw a fit.

I have a 9 mo. old girl who does the same thing! The best luck I've had so far is to stand next to her crib or lay next to her if she's napping on our bed and just keep laying her back down immediately when she gets up. It keeps her from crying because she's not being left alone in the room, and eventually all the work to pull herself up over and over tires her out and she falls asleep.

It takes less time each day, so hopefully soon she'll just nap without the nonsense.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

If you start now, it will get easier. Try laying him down, let him cry for a few minutes, then go in and lay him down again tell him it's nap time and you love him, then each time he is up after that just go in and lay him down without saying anything and walk out of the room. It will be hard the first few naps but will get easier after that. I did this with my three year old for bed time to get him to sleep in his room. It goes much better now. Good Luck!!

So many good responses here already, so I'll be brief. Remember, it's so COOL to be able to stand... it opens up a whole new world to your baby, who can sleep with this excitement?! AND WAIT, I got here... how do I get back down? AAAAAAAGH! Yep, that's your little angel, first excited, then VERY stuck and upset. Help your little angel lay back down as many times as necessary until he settles down for naptime. He'll move past the excitement of it and get back into the swing of things. It just takes time and A LOT of your patience, but, no the cry it out method is inappropriate here, because your child lacks the skills to sit back down safely yet. He/she has to ultimately suck up the guts to take a dive in order to get back down and that is likely not worth it in order to take a nap.... Okay, so maybe, I wasn't so brief. :) God Bless!!!!

OMG! I remember those days.You gotta leave him in his crib. i know that it hurts you but you gotta teach him. If you dont he will forever cry cuz he knows you are coming for him.Its hard but I laerned the hard way. Crying is good for them :) Trust me1

My suggestion would be to not sit by the crib at all. I tried that with my son and I was in tears too. What DID work for us was to put him in his crib, turn on some soft music (we like Enya and Lullabyes) and walk out of the room. He did cry, but I would come back in five minutes later, check on him, leave again, this time ten minutes, and so on.

My son is used to this routine and I put him down for his nap from 1230-230pm everyday, which is the same nap time at his preschool. Even if he doesn't sleep during this time, I still leave him in his crib and call it 'quiet time'. He does find ways to entertain himself if he doesn't fall asleep.

We went from the baby sleeping in our bed, to his crib in three nights at eleven months. Surprisingly when we moved into our new house he's slept in his own room, in his bed since the first night.

Hi S.,

I know what you're going through. I was/am, however of the belief that if they were crying they needed something. I have been this way my daughter's entire life. I am a first-time mom and many may disagree with this but it is how we have raised our daughter. I am very proud to say that now, after all the long, hard hours of comforting and lack of personal time - I do not regret a moment. My daughter knows we will be there if she needs us - she never has to second guess that. I was able to stay home with her to be there for her. To rock or sway her to sleep for nap and be there for her. As much as I wanted to keep a tidy house, I had to decide why I was here - for her or for me. Granted sometimes you need some time, but they just want to be with you. You can never bring any of this time back. Enjoy all the moments now because they quickly become independent and don't want you there for nap time anymore. I know it is frustrating but it is my opinion that they just want to spend their time with you. What a huge compliment that we sometimes do not appreciate until the time has passed.

Best of luck! ...and congratulations for being home!!!
A.

S.,
I had to sit at my child's crib for a few days until she learned that I was aware she was in bed and was NOT going to pick her up. I would put her to bed, wait about three minutes (not an advocate of crying it out), go in and reset by laying her down again..then I would just sit on the floor near her crib. I would not speak to her, just make a 'white' kind of noise...ssshhhhh or a hum. It did not take her long to see that I was not going to rescue her. If she got really upset, I would lay her back down and sit back down. I weaned this routine by reseting her once or twice before sitting on the floor. Now, she goes down with out any problem. Good luck..it is frustrating, but it should pass soon.

K.

I had this prob. w/ my daughter a while back too. I followed the advice of What to Expect the First Year and it worked like a charm. Here's basicly what it said:

Put the child down to sleep and leave the room. Allow the child to cry for a little while, not too long but to set a boundary and starting point (maybe 10 min or 15). At that time point, go into the bedroom and calm your child by talking, rubbing his back, singing, hugging him, laying him back down and stroking him, a combo of the above or whatever works but DON'T PICK HIM UP OUT OF HIS BED. Lay him back down after a few minutes, even if he is still crying and again leave the room. Let him cry again for that time span or maybe a little while longer this time. Then repeat the process for as long as it takes for the child to fall asleep or until you can't stand it anymore. THE MAIN RULE IS TO NOT PICK HIM UP OUT OF THE BED UNTIL YOU ARE FINE WITH NAP TIME BEING OVER! This sets a boundary for him, helps him to understand and sets a habit of nap time (habits and a some-what predictable schedules are what every baby needs to feel secure) while knowing it is not just a "game" of "mommy will come quickly every time I cry". Keep the same time span and pattern for a few or several days and then up the time (if you were using 15 min, up to 20) between "checks". Gradually ween the "checks" out completely.

We did this and it worked for us in about 2 weeks. What to Expect said that babies are often frightened at this age and need comfort to know you didn't just disappear, but also need stability in knowing what is expected of them. If you can, refer to What to Expect. If you don't have a copy, borrow one or go to the library and see if they have one you can check out or reference, or look into buying a used one on ebay (can find real cheap). I used it all the time until my child was about 9 or 10 mos. and still refer to it at times now.

Hope this helps!
T.

Put a few soft toys in his crib or hang something on the crib rail for him to entertain himself. You will likely have some crying until he realizes that he doesn't have a choice about nap time. He should cry less and less over a 3 or 4 day period. Just stick to your routine. If nap time is 1 - 3pm, then put him in his crib for that time. You can check on him if he's hysterical, but more than likely he just wants out and know that if he cries long enough, you'll eventually "free" him. Even babies this young can be very persistent. No matter what, he stays in his crib from 1 to 3. When you go to check on him, just talk to him, but don't pick him up. If you need to get cleaning done, turn off the baby monitor and clean. It will be a difficult and noisy few days, but things should even out soon!

We went through something similar for a couple of weeks. Try the crying thing, but go in about every 10 minutes for reassurance. Then go out and do that for every 10 minutes or even longer of a space after a while. If he's still crying after an hour and a half, you may just sit somewhere near his crib. Then each day move a little closer to the door until you are no longer starting out IN the room. See if that works at all. It's so hard to hear our little darlings cry, but I would recommend that you not pick him up. The doctors always say to give it 3 days of crying, and then he will stop. Hope something helps. Good luck.