Child Taken Away from Father - Snohomish,WA

In most divorce cases there are two sides of the story and any outsider, even family members usually do not get to hear the complete picture.
I agree with the previous poster that your brother should get a divorce/ family law lawyer ASAP and follow his lawyers recommendations.

Other than that I would suggest that you and other family members stay out of it. Be supportive, but do not fan the fire with well meant advice, other than directing your brother to legal help.
It REALLY helps if at least one side stays calm and committed to resolve things in a reasonable manner.

From your post it sounds like something pretty serious has happened between them and you don't give us the complete picture. He should get the legal action going, usually the courts will set up a temporary arrangement for custody before the divorce is finalized, that will give them time to consider therapy and reconciliation.

It's really hard to say "how these cases usually go", because a lot depends on the circumstance and questions of jurisdiction. In WA family courts generally aim for joint custody arrangements.

Good luck.

Your brother should run, not walk, to the nearest divorce attorney that specializes in child custody cases. That's for his own protection and of his parental rights. How long does this take? Years, at least one, especially if there's a difference of opinion as to what broke the marriage. Living in two states complicates the matter. I will tell you that I went through a similar story with my brother, his wife and son. As much as you want to be supportive of your brother, you have to be open to all of his foiables, all of his shortcomings and longsuits. Things happen in a marriage that folks outside their house will never know. Give him a place to vent, but don't name call her or trash talk her. It won't bode well for his custody case and they could get back together and then you'd be in the midst of tough times with your brother.
With a child as young as your nephew, he will probably be allowed to stay with his Mom, especially if she's moved out of state. Visitation will be as liberal as possible, unless there was something that caused her to leave. It's a long road to travel, at best a yr, realistically anywhere between 2-3 yrs. Frequent hearings in family court about support, visitation and other parenting issues. If they can agree to a parenting plan sooner rather than later, things will move faster.

Hi K.,

What an unfortunate situation. This doesn't answer your questions but if your brother fears his wife might try to leave the country with his child, you can contact the passport offices so they'll send an alert in the event she tries to get a passport for your nephew. Here's a link to some more information:

http://travel.state.gov/passport/ppi/family/family_866.html

Best of luck to your brother. Here's hoping the situation is resolved quickly and fairly.

C.

I had an ex employee who took off with her kids to another state for a job. Even though she stated the reason was because she could not find employment here, it was considered kidnapping and she was ordered to return to WA with the kids. Judging by her case, I think it's reasonable to assume the same could happen here with legal help.

both the mom and dad should have sought out some parental separation and visitation.. and counseling ;( before it came to this. Your brother must be so upset.
If he feels the law is the only way for her to come back.. he sould get right on it.

... if I had to make it on my own without my husband..and the thought has crossed my mind.. my family lives many states away. I have stayed put with a rocky relationship because of this very reason. so did she 'flee' or went to stay with family.

I'm not saying what your SIL did was appropriate.. but perhaps your brother needs to convey he will be helpful for her feel supported if she was to remain in the area and then they could have a more stable.. if separated .. relationship.

I would contact a police department and find out if this could be considered a case of kidnapping. Obviously the mother took the child without the father's consent while both have joint custody, which should count as kidnapping. I also believe that after 10 days she couldn't file for divorce in a different state, because she hasn't established residency there. Usually it takes between 3 and 9 months to be able to claim residency so she could file for divorce in another state.

I would definitely contact a lawyer and see what s/he can do. There are lawyers out there specialized in representing husbands/fathers, maybe they will be able to help your brother.

Good luck with everything! Keep us updated on the case!

Cheers S.

Get a lawyer, and see if you can force the wife back to Washington. Sometimes you can get a court order that says the child has to stay in the state of residence unless both parents agree to the move. Just because she is the Mom does not give her the right to move the child acrossed country without Dads permission. Find a Lawyer, FAST!

You would have to check on this as to I may be mistaken. But I believe for child custody/child support situations the state in which the child has resided in for the past year is considered the child's state of residence. So if it has been less then a year everything should take place in Washington State. Tell your brother to start the paperwork now!

Your brother needs to find a lawyer and follow his advice. I suggest that he will have better communication with his wife if he acknowledges that the marriage is broken; that he is willing to accept a separation. His wife will be much more able to talk with him when he is calm and realistic; acknowledging her pain as well as his.

Acceptance of her and her actions will be the quickest way to gain her co-operation.

I do understand your brother's and your family's pain. The first step is to accept both his wife's actions and your own pain. Then work with an attorney to learn what can be done. When your brother calls and his wife ends up yelling at him he is doing more damage. The natural instinct is to call and express one's pain but this is not helpful past the first phone call. The key to making a successful transition is acceptance and then managing one's own pain without involving the wife. I recommend counseling to help make this happen.

I also think that his wife would only be able to file for divorce and custody in WN if that is where your brother and his family resided. She could have filed in WN before leaving. He can check with the court in the county in which they reside. If he, himself, has actually filed the court would've told him that she had also filed. Knowing what is happening and what can happen is crucial to quelling the extreme fear and anxiety.