Child Support Question. Please Help!

Updated on November 14, 2011
E.C. asks from Evanston, IL
12 answers

hi mamas,
I just got divorced and my ex was ordered to pay a very small amount of childsupport. he has not paid me a dime and when I went to court to ask for an increase because he really does not contribute anything to anything that the children need (clothes, food, school lunch, doctor visits etc) Well, he hired a lawyer to make it go away. I just received documents in the mail that his lawyer will be in court tomorrow asking the judge the temporarily abate child support because his client has been unemployed the entire 2011 and has run out of his unemployment because he had been paying me child support from it. Lies! he has not given me a dime and i don't understand what lawyer would take a case like this.
My question is, what are the possibilities of the judge agreeing to this? I can't afford and lawyer so I don't know how to fight this. I just received his notice saturday evening about court tomorrow, should I go to court? my ex keeps sending me text about how he refuses to support me by paying me child support. I'm in school, work full time to support me and my three children and I don't have the time to be in court back and forth with this. Will the cihld support accrue for him even if the judge grants temporary abatement?

I'm not a lawyer and I dont know the child support laws.

What can I do next?

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More Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You need to go to court. Although I had an attorney there were cases I saw that did not. Most family court judges will not allow a lawyer to run over someone who is not represented by an attorney. To even have a chance your ex would have to show proof he paid, since he didn't he shouldn't have proof.

You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip, if he doesn't have money coming in the court cannot compel him to pay. Usually the amount accrues and will be made up when he finds work. The problem is there are a lot of guys who work under the table to avoid child support. There is nothing the court can do in those cases.

6 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

We're not lawyers either, and you need one. Not showing up at your court date is THE worst thing you can do.

Please call an attorney TODAY, ANY attorney, pick one out of the phone book if you have to, see what she has to say.

Sounds to me like you cannot afford to NOT have your own attorney.

:(

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

If you don't show up for court they will find you in default and agree to what he is asking for. All you have to do is show up for the court. The judge will not take the support away but might lessen it until your ex finds a job.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

You need to go to court and you NEED an attorney. Many attorneys offer free consultations and can direct you to low cost and/or free legal services. He has to prove he has been paying, but you need to be in court to tell the judge that he has not. Also, if he is texting you that he won't pay, bring the device receiving the texts to court with you and show that to the judge too. If you can, try to get him to contact you through e-mails. That's better. It leaves a permanent paper trail. So if he texts you, send him an e-mail repeating the text as a question to him, and hope for a response. I'm sorry to say, that if he is going to play dirty,you need to respond in kind. It shouldn't have to be that way but it is.

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Bring all of your documentation which shows that you have gotten no child support. Demand that he prove that he has paid with cancelled checks, bank statements, etc.

The burden of proof is on him. All you need to say is that you haven't gotten a dime.

ETA: Just that he has the ability to HIRE an attorney shows that he has some ability to pay. I'd be curious to know what his attorney's retainer is. Call the attorney's office and find out.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

It would be in the best interest of your children that you go to court and deal with this. Please bring any and all documentation you may have including text messages, emails, and receipts.

Prepare to get yourself an attorney for the future. This would also be in your best interest. Your ex will need to have proof of the child support he has paid in the form of cancelled checks or cashed money orders.

I would also advise you to request the court take the child support directly from him through his pay source. This would be better tracking of what he is or isn't paying.

Also understand he may also request a change in the visitation order or custody order to also attempt to get out of paying the percentage he is required to pay. Just be prepared.

RECAP - Go to court. Bring your documentation of events (saved emails, text messages, etc), and request the court withhold your child support

Lastly, court is no place for you to be emotional. The judge doesn't want to see you being overly emotional even though this is a passionate issue. Stick to the facts, he was supposed to pay x and you haven't received x.

You should do everything you can do to get yourself an attorney because in my experience judges treat people in your position with attorneys better than those without legal representation. Make that sacrifice because it will benefit your children.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

You need to go to the court and defend yourself and your children. The laws are different everywhere. In NV you have to pay at least 100 a month no matter what. Good luck and keep us updated

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D.H.

answers from Louisville on

...finally, I get to answer again!!

Anyway - BE IN COURT!!! Even if you cannot get an atty that fast, be there and ask for a continuance to give you time to get one!!

Really funny - he can't pay support, but he can hire an atty?? Denmark is smelling a bit fishy!!

And then, you will deny he has paid anything - and your atty should ask him to PROVE he has paid! He must have receipts or he has not paid! (this was kinda recent in a case - man stated he paid, her atty said where are receipts as you knew you'd be in court today)

And keep all the texts - that will be golden for you!!

Not sure how the laws work as much now - but have heard that it does still accrue - the child(ren) still need support!

If you get really lucky, you'll get a judge like was in our court years ago - told a person that the support payment was low enough (another one trying to get ouf ot if) that he would not stop or lower it, that he would pay that amount and could go collect aluminum cans to turn in!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

The judge may suspend child support because your husband has no way to pay. If he does, the support will be accrue. But if the judge does that, you should ask that the judge order your husband to look for a job and submit to the court documentation of where he applied, who he spoke to, and the outcome. Also, keep all the texts so you can prove to the judge that he doesn't want to pay support and is not looking for work because he doesn't want to pay child support. That should get the judge to order the work search stuff. Good luck! I was a single mom too, but only had one child. I remember her father not wanting to pay child support because he thought that that would be paying me and he wasn't interested in doing that. I never did get any child support because he refused to work! Go get him, mama!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

You need to go to court. You should have a lawyer. What about the atty who handled your divorce? Ask the court to have him prove that he's given you child support. If you don't go to court, there's a much better chance that the judge will side with your ex.

When you go to court be prepared. Tell them that you have not received any money and what efforts you have made to collect it from him. Show the court the texts he has sent you. Prepare a list of things that you have provided for support in the past 6 months (food, shelter, clothing, diapers, school supplies, daycare, medicine) and have copies of the receipts to back it up.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Every state varies a little on child support laws. Your state may have a 'child support division/advocate', try to contact them.
Yes, the child support WILL accrue. No, it wouldn't do any good to take time out of your schedule to be at the hearing, unless you have some proof that he did earn income. Start with your state resources, they should be able to help. www.childsupportillinois.com

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

can you email the text messages to yourself and print them out for court? I would try. My phone allows me to do that. Good luck!

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