Child Support - San Bruno, CA

This is something you really have to decide on your own. However, be advised that since you don't have any court document stating you have custody of the children, he can remove them at anytime and then file on you. He'd have them and you'd have to work on getting them back. My ex tried to intimidate me...he had throughout our whole marriage...even going as far as stating he'd burn my house down after one of our court hearings. It does get better. Right now you have a fear of him taking the kids. If he has a good job, do you really think he's going to up and leave the state? Do you really think he'd want to take care of the kids? If you have a court order for custody and support, you'd have something to fight with. Without it, he has just as much right to them as you do...with nothing saying otherwise. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.

I suggest to you that you file for full custody of the kids and a restraining order as well. If your fears that he will run away with the children, you will have a tough fight to get them back from him without the custody papers in place. You can file for child support at the same time. You can voice your concern with the family court judge regarding your fears and threats from him. I will tell you this much, just because he is working and owns his own home, does not mean he is the better parent. The judge will look into what is the best interest of the children. Since you have them fulltime and with no support from their father, you do have a stronger case. Keep a journal of the conversations you have with him, how many times he visits the children, how much time he spends with them. This will help determine the amount of child support you will receive. When you discuss visitation request that it be supervised and away from your home. That will ease some of your fears regarding harm to you and your family. I have gone through something similar with my sons father. I wish you the best of luck.

Go to a Child Support Services Office in your area. They can help you with everything you have said in your email. Including a restraining order! Notifying your children's school about the restraining order will protect them while they are at school. If they release the kids to him after being notified they are liable criminally! So don't worry about that. In some cases, rare but some, a father still has to pay child support but is denied custody. Or has to have supervised visits. Like I said go to the CSS Office near you, even if it is just for answers, they won't make you commit to anything. Hope this helps.

Let me tell you this much! Before you do anything with the courts you need to make sure your going to look great in the courts eyes. You need a full time job... during the day, not at night because then the courts can say that you can't care for your kids during the night and will let the kids live with their dad. Depending on how much "dad" has been in there life.. and how well the kids know him, will also be what helps the courts figure out the time share with you. If your really scared for you life then you need to get a restraining order for you and your kids from him to stay away. IF YOU get this granted from the courts he will have supervised visites with his kids... and the courts will make you guys agree on who will be the one to supervise the visits. What ever you do make sure you have you life together before walking in to court. The kids life is cared for from all points cuz all point will be brought up in court. Beds, rooms, school, daycare, eating, health. Oh and one more thing before I go. Keep notes on everything. Dates, times, what happend in detail. It will help you in court! If you go through with this... just a heads up it's very stress full and will take a long time and you really need to think if it's worth it. Does he really make all that much money to put your self through all this and most of all make sure the kids under stand what is going on and you really do think this is the BEST THING for THEM!!!!

Not true the court would have to find you unfit before they removed your kids. Think about it this way, if you recive any type of aid from the goverment they would go after him for child suport. This is just a dead beat dad and the court will see him as such. You can also get a reastrant order to keep him away from your family. Ask the children and family services to have supervised visits at there office or in a public place. Good luck and dont forget the money is to help the kids dont let them want for anything knowing that he can help.

I really feel for you, I have gone through a few court battles with my ex and it is not fun. I think the first thing you should do is get a restraining order against him, because of his threats against you and the kids. That is what I did. Then file for child support. After I was granted child support which for me for one child (I live in California) was almost $600 a month, 9 years ago. The dad took me to court for visitaion rights, but because of the restraining order and because of his past he was granted supervised visitation every other weekend. Now my son is 10 years old and his father has about 20% visitaion and he still pays close to $600 a month, but we have been through many court battles and he has made up many horrible lies about me and tried to take my son away from me. I have spend thousands of dollars on attornies fees trying to keep my son. But in the end I found out that I could have had a public defender that would have gotten me the same outcome. The courts almost always rule in favor of the Mother, especially when the father isn't in the picture and like you said he never has the kids by himself. I would not worry if I were you about him taking your kids. Just get a restraining order first, you can do that for free. I hope my advice helps you.

Oh, sweetie... I know there is a way that you can get childsupport from him w/out him even finding where you are. If he knows, then you can get a restraining order. There are many resources out there for moms like us. I am also a single mom getting no support from the lame father. I have 3 as well. I have been told to do the same thing, and kinda feel that though it's hard, I rather not have the hassle of them in our lives... one was abusive and I was scared of him too. The other is just lame, and the kids deserve better than have role models like that in their lives. i was told I could get childsupport and that they could help me track them down... free to me.. and they'd ensure safety. If you want, call me. my number is ###-###-####, I have some ideas of people to call for help :)

God bless you and your littles ones- I'm glad to help however I can.

Hi,

I have some suggestions for you that I think you might find helpful. First if you are afraid that he might try to take full custody of the kids, do what you can now to get your life in order so that the judge sees YOU as the fit parent. First, get a full-time job. Save as much money as you can in a savings account for your children-do it asap. Find a way to move out of your mother's house-

By doing these three things, you are proving that you are fully employed and you can financially support your kids on your own, you are thinking about their future by saving money in accounts for them, and by having your own place you are showing that you can make responsible choices and live on your own and that they have a stable home to live in. In my opinion for your children's benefit, you should definetly persue child support from their father. Good luck!!

Molly

An attorney might give a free consult over the phone. I once called one to get a run down about divorce settlement and division on property. I'd look in the phone book or get a referral for an attorney who does family law. I'm pretty sure that what your ex-boyfriend is saying is not correct. You are providing for your child and whether it's coming from your parents or you doesn't really matter. Good-luck.

Get a lawyer, and a restraining order if he has threatened you or your kids or family before! Just because he has a job and house doesn't mean he will get the kids, the judge will look at who is the best parent for the kids. You deserve money from the father and if you can't afford a lawyer call the court house and see if they can appoint you one.

Hi,

In the state of CA both parents usually share custody, it's very rare for a parent to get sole custody. Also, unless your able to prove that the father may kidnap them or may harm them there is nothing that will keep him from seeing them on his own, or even taking them out of school.

You should go out and get a job and there is nothing wrong with living with your mother. So for the moment try to go out and find work. Unfortunatly, when you do decide to file child support papers, the child custody issue will come up. Try to find ways to have proof of his threats. Phone messages or other family that have witnessed this and file a restraining order if you feel he is a danger. Document everything and have that ready when you do go to court. Don't let him bully you.

Contact a court attorney for advice and they will advise you what you should do. No father should get away with not paying child support. Even if he doesn't want to see the kids, it's his obligation to pay.

Also, if you are having child care issues due to no money to pay, file for goverment assistance. They will go after the father to pay back what they gave you.

Best wishes

first thing to do is go down to your local courthouse and file for full physical custody of your children. If the father of the children has had limited interactions with your children you should have no problem getting full custody no matter what your financial situation is. Once the custody is est. he can't by law take the kids any time other than what the court has decided are his days for visitation. right now you both (unfortunately) have equal rights to the kids. After custody is established you can file for child support. He can contest it, but won't win. they will start with scheduled days for visitation. If he can follow through and show up for all of his visitations on time they will look at giving him more visitation. All county courts have a self help clinic to answere any questions you might have too. good luck!

seems like you have gotten lots of great advice. i was in a similar situation w/ my sons dad. hes a horrible mean person and sued me for custody because i ended our relationship. he threatened harm to me and our son. go to your local court house get a restraining order against him and file for custody. he wont get full custody cause its very difficult to get kids away from the mother. go for joint or full whatever you choose. ask that he have supervised visitations with the kids either w/ a family member, the police station or child advacocy center. go for the support its soo hard being a single mom. if he comes after you call the police. if you get a restraining order then it will help you a lot more if he does. thats what happened to me. i got the res.order then everyday i filed a police report when he called or sent me text messages even when they were non threatening. it took time but they finially put a warrant out for his arrest and now hes sitting in prision and ive got full custody of our son and he doesnt even have visitation rights.

Hi L., my name is P.. I have dealt with child support and custody issues before.
If you want child support the whole custody thing will not really come into play. Though they will want to know who the children reside with. If there is any visitation (how much/often). How much you make, dad makes...etc.
Now if you want to file for custody of your children, you can do that too.
But you know there may be some differences...i'm in sacramento county. But look here...i'm a single mother. I was never married. I was on welfare for a time. I still only work part time. And i live with my dad. None of these issues never came up when i went for child support.

I wish you the best of luck for you and your kids. And some counties are different. But don't let some people scare you because you don't have custody of your kids. I have full sole custody of one of my kids and he has visitation. So what one of the other people said isn't completely true about both have to share custody. My other son. Well we don't have any custody disputes. But i have my child support that i've already raised once and may do again.

Good luck!
P.