Child Pertective Service Help

Updated on May 07, 2014
G.A. asks from Tucson, AZ
12 answers

Im an underaged soon to be mom , i stopped going to school for a short period of time and im planning on doing online school , but now cps got involved with my family because both my sister and i are pregnant i dont want to say who && how old the father of my child is. well my question is can cps take me away from my family and will they take my baby away to?

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So What Happened?

Im 16 && my sisters 17 we both take our prentatle vitamins and both babies are healthy due to what the doctor says . i dont drink do drugs ect. never will i for my babies own protection. its just something really caught off gaurd im not sure if its because i havent gotten back into school or because were both still underage and happen to get pregant around the same time

My babies father is very suportive but we agreed to not having him involved when the baby is born or when certain things happen. hes been supporting me and this baby

For a supportive mom kind of website to answer questions , you guys are really something else. very judgemental moms you guys are. only like 2 people that acturally didnt exactly judge haha

More Answers

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D..

answers from Miami on

Re your So What Happened: There is nothing "ha ha" about your situation. Maybe one day in the future you can be honest with yourself and realize that the reason 16 year olds aren't supposed to get pregnant is because children shouldn't be having children. The poster who tells you to consider adoption is giving you good advice.

Regardless of what the poster who calls people on this site self-righteous thinks, it's not our job to be supportive of things that are WRONG. It is wrong for children to get pregnant. It is wrong for an adult to get a child pregnant. Your sister is older than you, but neither of you should be pregnant. And if CPS is looking into it, it means that they are worried that a family member did this or an adult. The reason the ONE poster here thinks that we are supposed to tell you that this is okay is because she thinks people are always supposed to agree with selfish and self-serving rants. How irresponsible to agree with a 16 year old being pregnant in your circumstances...

Original:
G., you're expecting an awful lot for people not to judge you. Do you really think that the world isn't a judging place when a child gets pregnant?

You probably think you aren't a child. Just the fact that you are letting the father of this child off the hook by not getting him "involved" shows that you are still a child.

You had BETTER have a DNA test done after the baby comes to establish paternity. You had BETTER ask a family lawyer what happens if you don't name the baby's father on the birth certificate in your state. You had BETTER have all your ducks in a row legally when this guy stops giving you child support money.

If you don't do this, you won't deserve to be a mother to this child. The reason is that letting this man off the hook means that you care more about HIM than this baby.

As far as you and your sister both being pregnant is concerned, it's big warning bells to CPS, as it should be.

7 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's possible to go to school while being pregnant.
It's possible to go to school after you've had your child too.
Especially since you'll have a child to provide for you are going to need an education and a job.
Also you need to set up child support with the father of your child.
Have a paternity test to verify (or make sure) who the father is.
Do it legally - get a court order - because you've got 18+ years of responsibility coming your way.
Congratulations!
You're childhood is over.
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

7 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

I think you need to get involved in the case with cps and talk with your caseworker. Your concerns are valid and because you are going to be bringing a child into the world you need to know what cps's game plan is long term.

See if you can start online classes now because once the baby comes your time will be used caring for an infant and trying to get some sleep as you recover from child birth. Newborns are very time consuming so you'll need help.

Please reconsider your boyfriend's legal involvement in this. Yes at this point he's saying he'll help out, be there to raise your child, and provide financially for his/her needs however once it's more than just lip service and he actually has to do things and shell out $$$ his tune might change. It's easier getting him on the birth certificate and having him dna tested (which courts will require to establish paternity) than having to go to court 6 months down the road when he decides that hanging out with you and the baby is much less fun than hanging with his friends and his new girlfriend.

6 moms found this helpful

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

You're right. Many moms on here are horribly judgmental. Sorry about that.

Hun, do you have a mother to talk to? I sure hope so. Being a young mother will be really hard.

Why did you stop going to school? Definitely get back in asap. You''ll never be able to get more than a crappy minimum wage job without a diploma.

CPS may be concerned about YOU, not necessarily your baby. Please get back into school. I'm pretty sure they can only take away your baby if you're unfit. Being 16 does not make you unfit.

And seriously reconsider the role you want your child's father to play. Do you have a father in your life? If so, imagine your life without him. If not, think about what your life could have been like with a good dad. Unless the father is abusive or into drugs, there really is no reason to keep him out of your baby's life. You'll need his help raising a child, not just his money.

You're going to be a mother now. Sit down and consider your situation. What advice would you give to your child?

---

Some mothers on here really need to take a flipping chill pill. Teenagers type odd these days. All that text speak, ya know. Is there some reason why a newbie cannot come on here without being treated badly???

6 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Have you and/or your sister considered placing the child for adoption? It's hard enough raising a child when you are college educated, have a great paying job and are married to the father. Just something to think about.

5 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Trip trap.
"Underage and soon to be pregnant"?
Riiiiiiight.....

3 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Please consider giving the baby up for adoption and going back to school. You are not equipped to give a child a fair chance at life. You are a child yourself. I don't know if CPS will take your baby away. I do know that a stable, loving, adult, educated, employed/financially sound couple who want a child will give your baby the best shot at achieving his or her full potential in life. Going back and finishing school will give you the best shot at a good life.

3 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

This is supposed to be a site to help mothers - not children. I don't think anyone is judging you, but we have to give you an answer that is "coming from a mother" but yet our answers needs to be "directed to a child." Because you ARE a child...and that's not my opinion, that's not a judgment, that's a fact.

You've made it pretty obvious that the father of this child is an adult and will be legally in trouble should you make it known that he is the father. However, if you do NOT name his as the father come the right time, you are depriving your child of not JUST a father, but his right to be supported as well. Read closely what "Doris Day" says below, and follow her advice. I am saying this with love, not judgment.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

If this question is for real: The place to ask is CPS because we don't know the laws in your state. You and your sister are both old enough that it's highly unlikely the state is going to remove your children JUST because of your ages. If there are other reasons to take your babies at birth, that's different.

I hope you can understand why so many posts are saying you're a troll and this is not a real post. We get a lot of fabricated troll posts on this forum. If this is for real, you should already have a caseworker with your state CPS office, one person whose name and number you already have, who is in charge of your case. That person, your caseworker, is the one to ask about whether you will be removed or your baby taken away.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

"never will i for my babies own protection" ...

Don't you mean PERtection?

2 moms found this helpful
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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

*****For a supportive mom kind of website to answer questions , you guys are really something else. very judgemental moms you guys are. only like 2 people that acturally didnt exactly judge haha

First let me apologize for the PERSISTENT the self-righteous judgement on this board. (Take note of their names so that you can blow by their future responses) They are not fulfilled and hide their problems by judging others which makes it so much easier for them to judge everyone else.

As for CPS, it depends on the state laws. I will say education is very important to having choices for yourself and child in the future.

You and the father agreed he would stay away now but that's not realistic and could create conflict when he wants to get involved. Rather than talk about the limits, be a mom and assertive. Take care of the baby and dads usually take their own place...usually.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I doubt CPS got involved just because both you and your sister are pregnant. It's really hard to know since we don't know how old you or your sister are but CPS may (probably) got involved because you quit going to school. They cannot take your baby just because you are young. There would need to be a reason such as you didn't get prenatal care, the baby tests positive for any substances in his/her system upon birth or something like that. Seems to me that to threaten to take the baby because you won't say who the father is is extortion and I don't think they can/will do that.

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