Child Not Sleeping in Own Bed

Hi L.,
I've found that I'm most successful with these milestones when I just wait until my son is ready. The more I coax, the less he wants to cooperate, but if I leave it alone for a while, he'll come to me one day & be ready for whatever it is. He was a late walker, nursed for 17 months, and just got potty trained & started sleeping in his own bed when he turned 4. All of these things he had to do on his own time, not mine. Then, when he was ready, he did it all at once & never looked back!
Enjoy this time with him. He will grow up before you know it & you'll miss these days together.
Good luck.

My son when he was around 3yo was alot like your son. I went out and bought him a body pillow, it was a shark. I told him it would eat the monsters and bad dreams. he is now 10 and he still has it. I've also heard about using a spray bottle or an air freshener bottle, telling your son it will melt the bad stuff . They could keep it in bed or near . Then you could also use a flash light but that usually led to him playing with it.
Hope this helps S.

this may sound harsh, but it's the only thing that worked for us. we took all our daughter's toys out of her room and when it was time for bed we read a story, tucked her in, said good nite, and left her to cry it out. she has a nite light and she cried for about 30 min. you may have to let him cry it out. trust me it hurts you more than him.

I had gotten into the habit of letting my daughter sleep in my bed after my first marriage ended & I had returned from deployment (my daughter was 4 then, but previously I had her sleeping in her own room). It was just easier for me to get some sleep as a mother working FT, in the army reserves, and going to college (I needed SOME sleep!!). However, it continued, just this last summer (when she was 6) and I had remarried & we moved did I finally get her consistently sleeping in her own bed. I bought one of those glade plug-in light shows & also had the "candy fairy" come if she slept in her own bed all night long and leave a little treat (tried to keep it healthier like a choc pudding cup) and sometimes an encouraging note. Gradually, I even worked it so the "candy fairy" didn't come anymore. I also would lie down by her at bedtime & have her say her prayers, read her a story, and play with her hair which calmed her and put her almost to sleep AND it established a predictable routine for her. I did feel bad though when about a month ago she told me that she had told some other kids about the candy fairy & they didn't believe her :( So I told her the truth. She still often asks for me or my husband to lie down by her, but we just tuck her in & are there while she says her prayers or if she wants to talk about her day for awhile, and she is still sleeping in her own bed. We went through MANY nights having to consistently take her back to her own room, but it was worth it in the end for us. Now the only time I am getting up in the middle of the night is if she is sick (until the new baby comes next month!!) Good luck to you, I know how challenging it is, especially as a single mother!!

start by putting his bed back in his room. get him his own sheets he picks out, make sure he has a night light not one thats too bright but one that lights up the room enough. my daughter is 5 has 3 night lights none of them are very bright light up their own corner of her room and has a soft disney princess CD in her room going on repeat all night long so she has the constant noise going on and no sudden sounds wake her up. You and daddy need to agree on what to do and do it at both houses. I also have a 2 yr old little boy and he has a winnie the pooh CD going in his. any cd that plays slow soothing music is fine.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. This is very typical at this age. I read somewhere that kids are really scared to be alone. It's not some act they are using to try to manipulate us into letting them sleep with us. My son is 3 and now sleeps with us about 2 nights a week. He used to sleep with us all the time. The biggest thing we did was let our dog sleep in his room. We tell him that the dog will protect him. Of course you may not have a dog. Other than that we have a bedtime ritual and I have found that for us it works better not to linger. I read his books, turn on soft music and give him a kiss good night. I used to lay there with him but it would take him forever to fall asleep and if I left before he was completely asleep he would fuss. It just works better for us to make it very matter of fact. Hope this helps.

Currently I'm suffering from the same problem and ironically I asked my husband just the other day if he thought it would help more to put his thomas the train bed in our room so that maybe he would get used to sleeping in his bed and then we could eventually put it back in his room, My husband didn't agree. My son's not AFRAID to sleep in his room but wakes up after only being asleep a few hours and comes to our bed..he'll do this no matter how many times you put him back. I've thought of putting up the baby gate so he can't leave his room but my son would only cry at the gate hollaring MOMMY until I came and got him, risking waking up his 8 month old brother. I've heard that they EVENTUALLY grow out of it but I'm beginning to wonder when eventually will come? It might help to try and find out exactly why he is afraid of, like wether he's scared of someone coming into his room and getting him or is he afriad of a shawdow on the wall. It helps my son to have a movie on he likes like Cars and having his cars traffic light going, he also has a tall railroad sighn bank that has the railroad crossing lights that flash plus his lightening Mcqueen light. Most of the time I turn them off after he falls asleep since all the flashing lights in the room wake him back up later but it helps keep his mind occupied while he's dosing off to sleep, maybe something like that will help your son feel better.

L.,
The thing that worked well for my sister was that she would go into her little boy's room with him (you have to stop calling his room the "play room") lay down until he falls asleep and then go back into your room. It will take him a while to get the hang of it and he will come back into you room if he wakes up in the middle of the night (or start screaming) but just be firm with him go back lay back down until he drifts again. But let him get used to actually sleeping in his room - you may end up sleeping there the first couple of days but eventually you will have to start leaving - I think it would be easier if you left from the beginning though.

First off, my two year old had the same spounge bob bed! she loves it hehe. Now, for sleeping in his own room, it is hard, especially if you have gotten into the routine that he sleeps with you, or even in the same room, because when alone he will awake and see that he is not with you, and become scared.

For the first while, I can only suggest that you stay with him until he falls asleep. then leave the door cracked so light comes in and if he wakes he will know that he is not alone in the dark.
If that happens to work, you may be able to reason with him after that, him being four and all, and tell him that you are just down the hall but you will leave his door open a little and he can come down if he gets scared. I hope this is not 'old' news to you my daughter had a problem with bed time, she just didn't want to be away from me, but this really was the way I handled it. and now, I can tuck her in, kiss her and leave the room. no crying involved :) Good Luck.

I have had this problem with all of my kids. My oldest is 15, and she does not sleep with me!! Seriously, I had to be firm and consistent, just like with any thing else. As hard as it is for our mommy hearts, for their sake, they need to sleep in their own room. My youngest is 3, and while I would love to have him sleep with me, it kind of cramps our style :)!! We are in the process of working him into sleeping in his own bed. He has a 7 year old brother, so it makes it a little easier - he has someone to sleep with. When my daughter was an only child, she hated to sleep alone. But I would put a CD or radio on softly, a night lite, etc just to comfort her. Also, she liked a special toy to sleep with. I try to be consistent, but it is hard.

GOod luck

S.