Child Is Banging His Head on Purpose

Updated on January 10, 2008
J.S. asks from Lake in the Hills, IL
10 answers

I was wondering if anyone else's child has gone thru this and what did you do to make them stop. My son is 16 months old and when he gets mad or even bored starts banging his head on whatever is around. The floor, the kitchen cabniets, the washer, pretty much anything. He cries after he does it probaly because it hurts-no kidding right! I was wondering is he doing this because he wants more attention and what have you done to get them to stop because one of these times he is really going to hurt himself.

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M.M.

answers from Lafayette on

My oldest son used to do this (the younger one is too young) and still does it sometimes when he gets really sleepy. My MIL says that my husband did it too and my mom said that my brother did it. I didn't do it and my SIL didn't... Maybe it is a boy thing? But whatever it is, it seems like a weird phase. :P

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R.

answers from Chicago on

My son now 2 did that for about a year. He did the same thing, banged his head on everything. He's even run into the siding on the house to bang it. he would look for things to bang it on. I just ignored it, but actually found it funny. YOur son is normal and just how he reacts when frustrated. He's better now, but still goes to throw things (tries to throw the kitchen table) when angry or told no. My friends son also did this and outgrew it, so I think that maybe it's just a boy thing sometimes. I wouldn't worry too much, just if it looks like he will hurt himself, put your hand under his head to kinda soften the blow.

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S.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.:

I'm in no way suggesting your son is showing signs of autism, however, head banging is one of the first "odd" behaviors we noticed in my daughter who was diagnosed three years later. You may want to talk to your doctor about it.

S.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

My son did the same thing around this age. For him I believe it was a more cause-and-effect thing. So if I hit this how does it feel? I talked to the doctor and she said it would be a phase and it was. He stopped doing it soon after he started. I would just redirect him and/or acknowledge his feelings. "oh it seems you are mad" etc, etc.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I remember doing this myself as a kid plus all the stories my Mom told me. She was horrified that my twin and I would even do this to console ourselves when we went to bed..we would hit our heads against the headboard...well anyway I turned out ok...I think...It is a phase and he will grow out of it. Just make your pediatrician aware and watch that he doesn't cause and injury to himself.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

When it hurts he'll stop. My son does this all of the time, and has for about two months. He only does it to get attention and to express his anger when he doesnt get his way or is frustrated. It's his version of a temper tantrum. I let it go by trying to ignore the behavior and figure that he'll stop when it hurts. Granted, when he does get hurt then I'll pick him up and tell him it's ok, but he still won't get what he wanted in the first place. I know it sounds mean but Im a believer that he has to learn some lessons on his own, and just because he's trying to hurt himself, does not mean Im going to pay attention to tantrums. It will go away eventually, maybe. My husband did it as a child, and now as an adult he still pounds on his head when he's thinking, or trying to relax. It drives me nuts, but it is what it is.

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S.R.

answers from Chicago on

I have two sons one is 5 and the other will be 3 next month, they both would bang their head on things. It's just something boys do. They will do it till it hurts then stop. Neither of my boys ever did any damage by banging their heads.

Hope this helps.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

I did this in my car seat when I was a kid, saying "mommy said so" over and over. I turned out fine, right? hehehehe

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T.H.

answers from Terre Haute on

My oldest daughter done this for about a year. I always talked to her doctor and he would say that she is trying to express her feelings to us. (she always had ear infections up to the age of 3 so she had a really hard time talking and trying to have people around her understand her) If she felt like you did not understand her she would get upset and start banging her head off of things. At other times this is when we could also tell if she was having another ear infection. She would never show the signs of having one. no fever or runny nose.

Other times she would bang her head off of things if she was sleepy. At this time we would just rock her to sleep.

Then there were the times that she just did not get what she wanted. So it is just their way of acting out. Getting attention.

She was the only one of my girls that ever done this. But time will pass and things will get better. Just observe what is going on around your child when he starts to do this. Is he trying to tell you something, is he just doing it to see what it feels like, is he sleepy, or his he having problems trying to tell you something like he wants a drink or he is hungry? Just some things to think of.

But Yes it is a phase a child goes through. It will get better.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son did this. I asked the doctor about it and she said that it's just his way of showing his anger/frustration. She said to ignore it and he'll realize that it's not worth it. If you acknowledge it, even if he cries and gets hurt he will realize that it gets a response. (Obviously, if he needs ice or something, you have to take care of him.)

He also used to head-butt us when he was mad. This, I took exception to and told him "no" as it was similar to hitting IMO.

My son did it on our porcelein tile once and that was the beginning of the end of it for him.

It will pass. But, like the other poster, we found it kinda funny. We just didn't let him know that. Lol.

--T.

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