Please someone give me ideas on how to deal with my 13 yr son. He has many different mental dx's and is on meds...He goes to a special school monday-friday,but is home every weekend. It seems like every weekend he "loses" his bottles of meds. My son has Dx's of Bi-polar, ODD, ADD, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety disorder, rule out conduct disorder, Intermittent explosive disorder, PTSD, Multible personiallity disorder....He seems to only do this when he is home because he knows that with out the bottles he can't go back to school.
Hi Stephany I'm assuming he has counselors at school /private that can help?... If not... that
could be a start.....Oh I forgot have you talked with his docs and what have they said about it......There are lots of alternatives .....but they all revolve around a strong support system (family,Friends, care-givers). I hope some of this is helpful.
I would call his doc and find a way to make him take them in front of you...maybe by changing his dosaging schedule. Also, some meds come in injection form so if that is a possibility you might look into it. Otherwise, have a neighbor or someone help maintain his schedule by them being present to watch him take his meds. With all his different diagnosises I would look into seeing if he qualifies for disability and have a nurse come sit with him. Talk to his doctor. There has got to be something they can help you with, as he cannot be the first kid to do this.
If he is home a lot after school alone, you may want to look into getting a community support worker for him. A lot of times they can work with kids 2-3 days a week after school. They take the kids out in the community (library, mall, park, etc.) and work towards social goals. They work most often with youth with problems like your son's so they would know ways to work with him and with you on these issues (and would make sure he got his meds).
You deserve a pat on the back! My hat is off to you! It must be very hard with so little time. Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom!
I put my daughter's meds in pill containers so it was easy to see at a glance whether or not she had them.
I got her an alarm watch because it was better than me nagging her.
Because she was special needs, when neither my husband nor I could be with her, she had a sitter there. I told the sitter she pretty much didn't need to do much of anything -- just BE there.
And I realize that having proper child care available in the home is easier said than done. In some countries (I believe Australia is one) the caregiver is actually paid if they have to take care of a special needs person at least 4 hours per day. Family cares for the child (adult children included) is the best, and is cheaper in the long run!!
Not so in the United States. I have no idea how a person is supposed to provide the care the special needs children require at home, especially if they have to WORK!!
Anyway, there was a time that I had to tell my daughter that she takes the meds or she goes to the hospital. I even once had to face the possibility of losing her to foster care. I was very clear to her about the possible repercussions of her actions. There was no empty threats. No yelling. Just clear, plain, serious, CALM statement of facts. But first, my husband and I had to be clear about it ourselves. Then we could be clear and calm with our daughter.
We were all very very fortunate because things worked out well.... but we were prepared (well... as prepared as I guess we could be) to accept (at least intellectually -- forget our "hearts") the worst.
This child has too many issues to be responsible enough to be able to take those meds on his own. This is a dire situation, and my advice to you is that you need help desparately, and if you don't get it ASAP, this child's future is at stake! I would ask his counselor or psychiatrist for advice on getting help for you to get him to take his meds, perhaps a nursing assistant-one that has good references and such. He is 13, but he is far from being able to be responsible-he can't possibly with those diagnoses you speak of. I am scared for you and your family. I hope that you can get the help you so desparately need.
maybe you could put out just the meds he needs in one of those seven day container things... that way if he chooses to
lose" the meds, it's only one dose and not the whole bottle.
You said you are a single mom and work a lot - who is with the kids - maybe that person could dispense? Where is his father in all this, or is he not an active part of his life?
That seems like way too many drugs for one body too handle. I would look for alternative healthcare to see if you can't get him off some of that junk It has to be making him feel crappy. I'd definitely check into:
Look for a local Homeopath or Naturopath.
I'm guessing your son feels like he has no control in his life. Then to be "nagged" about meds, well not taking them is one thing he can control. Give him back some control by offering some alternatives. The feingold site might offer freedom from some of those meds.
Offer him choices like: "would you like an assistant to help you monitor your medication? or would you rather do it your self & take them in the nurses office?"
That is a choice HE can make, but you are offering choices that result in someone knowing he is taking them.
I wish you luck.
If he "loses" them, then he needs to take them in front of you so you can make sure he has taken them.
Hi S.,
Is there any chance that you could change the times that your son takes his meds so that the small amount of time that you can see him, you could give him his meds?
Maybe his Dr. could change his meds, (or the strength of them) to last a longer period of time in his system?
Because that way you would not have to rely on your son to medicate himself.
Because it would seem that either your son is incapable of being responsible of his meds or he is "accidentally, on purpose" losing them because he hates taking them.
I do not know, because I do not know what kind of disability we are speaking of, but it is the only solution for your situation that I could come up with.
Good luck to you!
I would think at his age maybe he wants to live a normal life, be like other kids and go to a normal school. Have you ever thought about sports? My son was ADHD until I got him really active. I was a single mom with two full time jobs it was hard, you should really be proud of what a strong women you are. Since I have been married for 9 years now I look back a say how did I ever do it. Maybe your son does not need all these meds, I think Doctors are so fast to put kids on meds. I understand that some may need them but my son was fine and just because he did not sit still in Kinder garden they wanted him on meds.
