Child Having Issues in School

two other thing because AHD issues is the work to easy and she is bored, is she have problems hearing or sighting what is going on in class. I know for personal experience if she can not see the broad she will have problems doing her work because she miss some of what the teacher show. Also what is her relationship with her teacher do the intact well do other, if she does not like her teacher she maybe trying to get some one to see that.

Ann H's response reminded me of a book I read recently called "Talkers, Watchers, and Doers" by Cheri Fuller, about discovering your child's learning style. Many times a child is diagnosed as a troublemaker or add/adhd simply because the way material is presented is not the way they learn it best, and so the child has a harder time focusing or remembering than other kids might. Fuller gives some suggestions of ways to present material in a different way, while also working on developing a child's secondary strengths.

Perhaps you could also read books by John Rosemond, like "A Family of Value" or "Ending the Homework Hassle". He gives very simple, commonsense advice, most important of which is that we shouldn't be too quick to assume our children have disabilities requiring medical or other intervention; that even children with disabilities are only 10% that and 90% a regular child, and so it's better to make adjustments for the 10%, but still to treat the child like a child and not an illness. I've found his advice helpful so far, though I only have a toddler. :)

YOU ARE NOT OVER REACTING!!! Please do NOT put this off! I was the same way in my elementary education---(1st grade on) and my parents chose to ignore it. My mother figured she could threaten me to do better in school. I am now 23 and in college, but I had concentration problems all through grade school and into high school. (Needless to say, the threatening didn't work) I had a lot of trouble concentrating, and my grades suffered for it. Please, please, please do not ignore this issue!! I would suggest seeing her school's guidance counselor. There may be a resource teacher or something at her school. Later on, it could affect her esteem--it did mine, anyway. Good luck!! (and be sure to keep us posted!!)

First grade is a very transitional year. Kids are being expected to sit and a desk and do paperwork for a longer period of time. Many kids have difficulty with this transition. Staying focused is a learned skill. Her teacher should be able to help her with this. Just so you know it's not necessarily an ADD issue.

Good for you to see it and talk to the teacher. My daughter also had some similar things. Turned out to be a nonverbal learning disability. She is bright, but needs a lot of help with organizing. There are a few good ways to check it out. One, go to your pediatrician and ask if it is worth getting her tested. The school is required to do testing at no cost to you, and to provide services if needed. Outside the school , a child psychologist can also do testing more extensively. We did that and now our daughter is on track. We know how to point her in the way her brain can sort through and succeed. Good luck.

It sounds like she may not be mature enough for first grade -- which is no slight on her at all. Kids develop in different areas in different ways. See how she interacts with other kids. Does she play with them? Fight with them? Ignore them? She could also be bored. In what tasks does she show interest? When does the teacher "lose" her? Since you quit your job anyway, you have the option of homeschooling if she isn't a "fit" for school. And that isn't really scary. There are lots of curriculum that makes it easy and loads of support groups. A year at home with mom focusing on her unique learning style could make a difference for life. Please don't be in a hurry to label her ADD/ADHD -- and don't let anyone else label her, either. Above all, don't let anyone slap her with a prescription. That should be the very last resort. There are other, safer options for dealing with the issue. There are no cookie-cutter kids and the one-size-fits-all education system doesn't work for everybody. If the school situation is fixable -- fix it. If not, I would recommend other options.
S. B.

Hi M.:
My oldest child is in first grade and has the most wonderful teacher. I think that the teachers are quick to discipline, but not so quick to interact with the children. I had a teacher last year that just wasn't as good, frankly - I didn't like her. Not that she wasn't a nice person, but she was very much about her and her schedule - she was more important than the children - I guess is the best way to describe it.

When you go to observe the class - don't let your daughter know you are there. From experience teaching preschool at church, this causes the child to be distracted and you won't be able to get an accurate view of what is taking place in the class.

Watch how she interacts with all the children - Does she single out anybody? Does she discipline instead of encourage?

No child should ever miss recess or centers and forced to sit for hours. If this is happening, I believe it should be reported !!!! This is abusive and uncalled for !!!!
I saw several mothers who mentioned this as discipline for their children in the comments - and please, please report this if you know it is happening. The teacher should send the assignment home with the child if it isn't complete or should be communicating with the parents and working with them on a solution.

Good Luck !!! I hope it works out for you !

If she's very bright, she might just be too bored to do the work. Is it apparently below where you know she is academically? I remember my daughter refusing to write her letters more than three or so times each because it was too redundant and boring and it made her hand hurt (whine whine) but she had already been "drawing her letters" for about 3 years once she hit 1st grade.

Gifted kids are frequently labeled as add/adhd or just behavioral problems because they get so bored they act out. Most teachers (a larger majority than you'd suspect)are not properly trained to identify the actual characteristics of giftedness and these kids fall thru the cracks and either get medicated or told they're being bad when all they really need is proper stimulation and challenge.

Case in point: I already knew my daughter qualified for gifted services because she was tested at her private preschool, but I was instructed by the parish special education department to allow her to attend regular Kindergarten for the social experience...

My daughter's K teacher said she had "a problem with authority and was never able to stay on task and seemed lazy". Her attitude changed slightly when my daughter scored 3 standard deviations above the mean when evaluated for gifted services by the public school system - oh, and I had to demand she be evaluated because they would not accept the private eval.

Same daughter's gifted 1st grade teacher said "she challenges what I say and makes me prove it to her, she's extremely bright and although needs to be redirected sometimes because her mind moves so fast, she is a wonderful addition to my class".

Go figure.

I hope this helps... and I'm glad to see another mom willing to give up their salary for their kid's needs. It's the best if you can swing it!

~K.

That is a really start for your girl's morning and since school doesn't typically begin until 8:00 it would also allow them more rest with your new schedule. We just went through that same issue with our 3rd grader last year and she was bringing home hours of work after school. We both hated it and it was near impossible to complete and still have sanity. She was tired and so was I. I told her to sort of play a game and when the teacher gave them an assignment or was talking she HAD to pay close attention. She is a day-dreamer and I told her that when she felt herself starting to drift off to play like she was poking herself in the sides and make her snap-back to paying attention. That maybe WE wouldn't have so much homework that way. The next day, she was so excited during afternoon carpool to tell me that she only had one thing to complete (YEA!). She said it really helped her to remind herself to pay attention. Our afternoon was so great and for pretty much then on she tries extra hard to stay focused (we joke at the house ... remember to foooooooocccccuuusss). It's so hard sometimes getting through the school year but we know it's a must. You definitely sound like you're doing a great job in the idea to sit in on some classes and see what's going on. You'll have it figured out in no time. Also, if you see that the work is honestly too overwhelming, consider speaking with the principal and moving her back a grade quickly before she gets older and it's just not possible with all her same age friends, etc. Happy New Year! NEARLY forgot to mention .. have her eyes tested professional (don't rely on the school testing). Our daughter actually needed glasses and we didn't know and she couldn't see the board well enough to read some of the assignments. A hearing test may also be needed.

I hate that I haven't had a chance to read the other responses yet, so I might be a little repetitious. I did want to offer some encouragement, though! My 2nd grader is the same way. I actually homeschool her, so I get to be a little more creative in dealing with it at home. But, we started to notice it when she was four and in Mother's Day Out. Even there all of her activities were coming home incomplete because she couldn't focus!

We've known for a while that we were going to homeschool, so I began praying and researching ways to help my daughter without drugs. First grade was tough, but this year we've found a solution that really works. MUSIC!!! When she is doing independent work, we give her headphones with her favorite classical music. We're not big classical music enthusiasts, but we are teaching the kids arts appreciation. We found some kid-friendly books by Anna Celenza that include cd samples of the music of the composers we study. My daughter picks out what she likes to listen to - something peppy but not overly stimulating, and definitely not something that she could possibly know lyrics for (like something associated with a cartoon). I make a computer file or cd with the right amount of time for a lesson (45 min for math, for example). Then we put the headphones on her and turn her away from everyone else. She is finishing her work in a fraction of the time it was taking before we started this!!! When I notice a relapse, I make sure to stimulate her by changing her music and/or by offering a reward (a new book - she loves to read!) once she has been diligent for three to five days in a row.

I do know that there are some teachers who are willing to allow a child to have headphones on in school, so you might want to talk to her teacher about it. If she can't do it at school, it might be a tool for you to use at home to work with her after school. Even without the headphone - even just in the background it makes a difference. Hope that helps!

MY son would not complete work at scholl and bring it all including the bonus work. For two hours after school and one hour before school I sat with him and he worked well He completeed all the work. It turned out he was controling my non working time.

Also learned a different way than taught at school.

He neededd to read out loud to understand the work.

A friend's child had a hearing problem so did not catch all that was being explained. It would not hurt to have a complete physical, Hearing, vision, blood work,
also testing to check on learning. Where I live one of our vision clinic does more than just check the eyes for 20/20 vision on school age children. A child may see 20/20 but still not comprehend. Hang in there stand ontop M.

I had so many thoughts when I read this request. I hope this isn't too long but I think I have good thoughts for you.

1. First of all, how experienced is this teacher? Is she a veteran teacher that has experience? Is she a newer teacher that may not have enough experience is dealing with a classroom of kids effected by holidays and all that stuff that goes on with them at this time of year? Is this a new problem that may be related to the Holidays? If so, then she will settle back down after her routine is back to normal. I know all the kids in my family have gone entirely nuts this month. It is the holidays (Santa's coming) and the knowledge of Christmas break.

2. ADHD is a biological illness that can be effected by many factors such as diet, medicine, environment, and stress. If your child truly has ADD/ADHD you will have to deal with it. Their brain is just randomly firing and things are bouncing around. Have them tested by a Pediatrician that is knowledgeable about it. Medications are different now and many of them don't have the side effects the older ones did.

Have her vision tested, a physical with blood work, a complete workup if this doesn't settle down after Christmas. Is it possible she may have learning disabilities that are causing the problems?

My friend that lives close to Tulsa has a son who kept getting referrals to get tested, she kept observing him and trying to find what was setting him off. She found he was having reactions to red dye #40. As long as his diet is free of it he is this wonderful, great kid who is calm, pays attention, and doesn't have problems outside of normal kid stuff.

2. How ready is she for a classroom situation? My daughter, who is an adult, started having issues in first grade. I went to her classroom and tried to listen to her teacher go on and on about how my daughter wouldn't pay attention. I pointed out to her that I was having trouble paying attention in that classroom. The teacher had pictures on every available wall surface, there were things dangling from the ceiling, there was music playing on a stereo, there was so much going on around me that I just couldn't focus. How was a 6 yr. old going to deal with that? She recommended that my daughter go into transitional first grade. I went ahead and let them, this was the only first grade classroom at this school and I didn't think my daughter would be happy in this classroom with this teacher. We moved to from OKC to Stillwater the next Summer she was more than ready for first grade.

Whether you agree with Freud, Erikson, or Piaget...they all pretty much agree that around age 6 kids should go into the next stage of development where they settle down and begin learning. It is like their little brain has turned on.

3. Absolutely go to school and observe what is going on. First, just watch and see how the teacher interacts with the students, how she works the classroom, take your time, this may give you the answers you need if it is a teacher issue.

Is it possible there is a student she is having a problem with. A best friend she talks to all the time instead of working, a child that bullies her, someone pestering her? So many things can effect how we focus.

Next, if you think it more with your daughter, start working with her and see if you can make a difference. Can you get her to focus? Can you get her attention on the task? Etc...if not, talk to your Pediatrician.

The important thing is that she succeed at school, not that she just makes grades but that she feels like she is succeeding.

Good luck, I hope to hear what you found and how you addressed it.

there is a big push in 1st grade to transition kids to the next grade levels. my daughter went through the same thing and when the teacher mentioned holding her back, i was offended! she's bright? articulate? can cook or scrapbook with me, on task, for hours? how could this be! mature? she can sit through a 2 hour church service and not make a peep and is all the wonderful things we want our children to be. then, mid-year, i saw exactly what the teacher was talking about. i saw her change, like a light switch flipped. more grown up, responsible, ect. so, if they recommend holding her back a year, do not fret, these teachers see bunches of kids and have more experience in these areas then we do. i am so so so so so glad we kept her back a year. now she is at the top of her class, in accelerated reading, physically fits in better (she was so much smaller than the kids in her 1st class), and her confidence is much better. she also has a perfect attendence, last year, it was a struggle to even get her out of bed because she didn't like school. all my best wishes.

Well honey hate to break it to ya but sounds right on for adhd/add. My son has it and after this year of pre-k, going through meds and their side effects, I'm going to home school him. Adhd/add kids need one on one education. If you can do this, I would highly recommend you doing it. Its not fair to the child to be doped up while being (in her mind) pushed to the side/left out cuz can't focus and the teacher to stuggle to keep her on task while managing other students. Most kids, from what I can conclude, can learn adaptive techniques if given the proper start at young age. So hence my recommendation to homeschool until she has developed techniques to be independent outside of your care.

I had the same problem with my dd in the first grade. She always made 100's on her papers but they all had big ugly notes about how long it took her and how she always missed pe and recess because she wouldn't concentrate on her work. We had her testede for ADD and the Dr said she might be borderline but it wasn't enough to put her on medication. She was not hyper just easily distracted. Turned out it was mostly the teacher not helping her stay focused. When she got into 2nd grade with a new teacher she very rarely had problems and is now in the 7th grade and doing great. She still gets distracted sometimes and daydreams alot but always gets her work finished. Try and suggest to the teacher that she keep a closer watch on her and remind her every few minutes to keep working. At this age it's up to the teacher to keep her on track.

there could be a series of things wrong not just addor ahad. she might be simply bored with the work try to expnad her work and see if that helps, or she might be having trouble and afraid to ask for feeling dumb, I had a daughter like that and it was that she was one dyslexic, and her eyes were a little bad. Make sure everything is good at home that she is not depressed about anything or that she is not worried i had a daughter that was liek that too when bills got tight or somethig she would worry as much as i did. i would not recommend the drugs tho, My oldest was on riddilan and it zombied her. I would also recommend having her thyroids checked and her sugar levels.

My first question would be why hasn't the teacher notified you that she was having to redirect your child to stay on task. It is part of the teacher's responsibility and training to detect if a child is having this type of problem. I think I would also talk with the school counselor about what you should be looking for. I don't think you're overreacting. You should be concerned that she's not staying on task. It could be anything from maturity level to adhd. Working with the teacher, counselor, or some other type of professional is a good idea to get to the bottom of what's going on. You have to do what you think is neccessary for your child. Good luck and just take one day at a time.

R.

First let me congratulate you and your husband that you are putting the child first in your life and quit your job.
To many people today want to keep up with the Joneses.
Further with you going to school and attending classes with the child.
Regarding ADD/ADHD, before you give in to this and start medicating the child at such an early age do all possible to help her attend her studies. Years ago on the radio the guest was being interviewed because she had no education and her children were obtaining scholarships.
This lady needed a translater, and she advised her job was to make sure they studied. When the children came home from school she gave them a break. Then she called them to the kitchen table for their home work. She said her job was to be their so that when they took their eyes off their studies she immediately corrected them.
Another thing that is important is to make sure to have their eyes and ears checked. As a child I had scarlet fever in the second or third grade. It paralize the nerve in my right ear and I lost it completely. How much it did to my left ear is uncertain. I did not find this out until I was in my second year of high school.
Again beware of medicating a child so young, make sure the child obtains a complete physical.

God Bless

Is school the only place she seems to have attentional problems? When you tell her to brush her teeth, does she do so, or does she get sidetracked several times and then forget why she was going into the bathroom?

Keep in mind, a child can have ADD without hyperactivity. Also, keep in mind, very intelligent children can become bored with assignments and appear to have ADD/ADHD. Be sure she is aware of her responsibilities in school and that she knows if she doesn't complete her assignments, she will have a punishment. First grade is not too early for her to realize there are consequences if she doesn't complete her work at school. Also, at this age, children often need a reward of some kind to reinforce appropriate behavior. Find a way to reward her responsible behavior in a way that allows her more responsibility/freedom/ privileges at home - sort of like, the more she shows maturity/responsibility, the more she is allowed to make decisions and have some "grown up" privileges at home.

If punishment for irresponsible behavior and reward for responsible behavior doesn't help, talk to your pediatrician about the possibility of an attentional issue. You may also want to have her tested for giftedness as often very young, gifted children are mistakenly diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Do not let the school do the ADD/ADHD testing (trust me on this one, they have they're own agendas); however, if you think she may be gifted, request a meeting with special education personnel and specifically request intelligence/gifted testing.

If it is determined she has ADD/ADHD, research all of the methods to help as there are several coping techniques and things you can do other than prescription drugs, but keep in mind, medication is not an evil thing either. You, as her parent, along with her pediatrician, are the ones that should determine what your child needs...not the school. ADD/ADHD can be controlled in many ways; don't let the school push you into medication until you have tried a few other things to help.