Child Having Handwashing Issues

Updated on October 31, 2008
M.P. asks from Tampa, FL
7 answers

Hello Ladies...my 6 year old daughter is very mature for her age. She rarely gets into trouble. She tends to worry a lot and gets nervous a lot too. She is terrified of getting in trouble especially at school. Her sister is the exact opposite. Anyway, she came home from school a couple of weeks ago obsessed about washing her hands. She wouldn't go play with her cousin b/c she said her hands were dirty and she didn't want to get his toys dirty (even though she had just washed her hands). I didn't think much of it at first, but now we are going on two weeks. I am not sure if this is attention seeking, stress from school, or a more serious issue. She doesn't wash her hands all day like an OCD but she will ask me questions for ex., "Mommy, I just touched my nose, are my hands dirty?" What do I do?

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So What Happened?

Hi Ladies...just wanted to give an update. My daughter is definitely better. She told me if I would stop worrying about her, she would not worry about her hands. Her obsession is not that "things" are dirty but that she is dirty from her waist to her knees. I have reinforced her good behavior and she is better but I just need to get her to relax her arms down now. She isn't asking me nonstop if her hands are dirty so that is a huge improvement. Unfortunately, I cannot find anyone who does the cognitive behavior therapy that takes my insurance. Medications are not a solution for us. So, keep on praying and sending any advice you might have. Thanks a lot!!

More Answers

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H.S.

answers from Tampa on

My son has OCD issues and we are seeing a wonderful councelor who came up with some cool strategies to get him to stop obsessing on a topic. We deal with one issue at a time and he has a daily chart we put smiley face stickers on so he can see how well he's doing. It may just be a temporary thing with your daughter, maybe she's stressed about a particular issue and the hand washing thing is something she has "control" over. Whatever it is I wish you luck and hope she gets through it soon.

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C.S.

answers from Lakeland on

M.,
At first I thought you were describing my 8yr son to a T, until the constant hadnwashing. My son has the opposite problem. I'm constantly reminding him to wash his hands.
For your daughter, it sounds like maybe something happened at school. Might not be anything to be concerned about. At my son's school for instance, they would have particular topics that they would cover and sometimes even have a guest speaker (doctors, dentists, etc.). Whenever they did, my son would become slightly obsessed for a while about that topic. (They had a dentist and my son began brushing his teeth constantly for a time though he eventually moved on to other interests.)
Maybe your daughter wasn't washing her hands at school enough and the teacher talked to her about the importance of it and now your daughter wants to make sure she's following the "rules". (My son is like that. I can tell him how important something is but if the teacher does, he takes it much more seriously.) Have kids been getting sick alot at school? This may have prompted the teacher to discuss the need for handwashing so as not to pass germs.
If you can't seem to find a cause for the recent behavior, I'd say if it lasts for more than a month, to mention it to your pediatrician.
Hope this helps!

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K.N.

answers from Sarasota on

Hi,
Your daughter is probably very bright and has lots of anxiety naturally. This is common in bright kids. My daughter had a weird habit of licking her fingers when she was maybe 10 or so. It lasted for a couple of months and drove me crazy. BUT I tried really hard not to get after her about this because this would only increase her anxiety. I finally couldn't take it anymore and resolved to call the doctor the next day (of course I did not mention this to her). Miraculously, that day, she just stopped doing it!!!!! Weird, huh?

Just try to let this behavior go for awhile....do not say anything about her handwashing.... and maybe do stress relieving activities, such as going for bike rides or walks or have her relax in the tub. Maybe play soothing music....anything you ca think of. Hopefully, she will stop on her own.

Good luck and don't worry too much. It's perfectly normal.

K.

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A.G.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Every child goes through stages where things are important to them. Do not worry. At least it is not that she will not wash. Just humor her a little and when she asks be honest.

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C.F.

answers from Tampa on

OCD is on the spectrum with anxiety... it is a form of anxiety, actually, and she sounds like she could well be in the early stages of it. The one Mom below described it perfectly: Obssessive thoughts, worries, or fears, that a person can't control and then the rituals they do to deal with those thoughts.

My son never liked getting dirty when he was younger. When he was a toddler, he wouldn't feed himself because he didn't want to get dirty and I had to wipe his hands in between bites. I joked to my friends that he was "anal and stubborn" and my mom joked he was "so OCD". Now I have to force him to wash his hands. Instead, he worries and worries about every little change in his life. He'll talk about things that have nothing to do with what's happening in the present, but he's still dwelling on it anyway. He chews his shirts collars to shreds and pokes his socks until they have holes. The handwashing all day is actually a germophobic version of OCD that is pretty extreme, and not the norm. The opposite extreme are the packrat types that can't let any item go for any reason (my son). My son's teacher last year had a teenager daughter with OCD, and she told me it worsened with age, until she was going to a psychiatrist several times a week. She had to take showers just because she got the mail (she said, "well, she only takes 4 or 5 a day now, so it's getting better.") I think her particular issue was sweat. I bet that's a hard compulsion to live with here in Florida. Every weekend her daughter rearranges her room and certain items have to always face the window. I'm praying it never gets that bad with my son, but I'm thinking we're going to need a good child psychologist soon... I can't take him chewing through his clothes anymore.

Sorry this doesn't really offer any advice, other than keep your eyes open... Good luck.

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L.J.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.,
This is something that you maybe need to keep an eye on. My son does have OCD, and it is so much broader than just the handwashing people think of and the organizing (my son is messy and doesn't wash his hands repeatedly, just once). But, honestly, he did do some of those same behaviors at that age. And the need reassurrance for EVERYTHING. "I just did this or that, is that okay?"
If it starts to interfere with her life in a big way (or yours) or causes her great distress, then it is time to address it with a therapist. My son is doing much better now, but we went through some rough spots. He isn't on any medication, but has learned to deal with it in other ways and is doing really well.
Just to note, OCD is not just about handwashing, tidying or organizing things. It is obessive thoughts about something(germs, fears, irrational things) and compulsive actions (repetivite actions, need for reassurance, rituals). It can also happen when you don't see any compulsions. Most of my son's obsessive thoughts were "bad thoughts" and his compulsion was to confess or tell me about them. "I just thought this or I just did that, is that okay, am I okay?"
This may be a phase or something you need to watch carefully. Dealt with early, people with OCD can learn to handle things just fine. Left to grow and it can become unmanageble quickly.

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Sounds to me like the teacher is going overboard with the hand washing issue. I would talk to the teacher before doing anything else. Then I would sit down and explain to my daughter that washing hands are a good thing but you can also wash them to much. She is old enough to understand. But she is hearing about washing hands to much from somewhere. If not school than tv. You need to stop it now before it gets out of hand. My ex boss couldn't even use the drive through at the bank without using a paper towel to hold the container. When we went out to eat she cleaned her hands with sanitizer and then took cleaner out of her purse and cleaned the silverware. She even had her own napkin with her. Her husband said it all started with washing her hands and then just kept getting worse. Good Luck@

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