Child Custody

Updated on September 19, 2007
V.M. asks from Conroe, TX
11 answers

Well where do I began....My husband and I finally gotten divorced and my son has been living with me since he was 5 and i had no idea that in the divorce decree that my ex had primary custody. I thought that joint custody is 50/50 and it was suppose to be that way. and now that the divorce was finialized on tueday he wants to uproot him from his home here to have our son live with him. Is there anything I can do about this, can i take it back to court to change it? To make matters worse he has our son to try and decide on where he wants to live with. I dont think you have a 9 yr. old to decide that and for him to cry because he doesnt want to hurt anyones feeling. I think it was so wrong for him to put that on a 9 yr old kid.

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M.R.

answers from McAllen on

You should contact an attorney IMMEDIATELY!!! there are some attorneys who will work with you if you are not financially able to hire one right now...

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S.E.

answers from Houston on

Hi, V.,
First, get a new lawyer NOW! When I went through my divorce 3 years ago, I didn't have a very good lawyer and ended up with just the standard joint custody with a man who was abusive to our kids. She told me that was my only choice and not knowing any better, I believed her. Last year we were back in court and 6 months after that started, the judge ordered no contact from their father. I'm not saying you need to go to that extreme, I just want you to know that there is hope. I recommend Susan Edmonson for an attorney, ###-###-####. Her first consultation is free and will help you understand the ins and outs of the current order and tell you what your options are. She has offices in Seabrook and Galveston. She will fight for you and your son. You need to talk to someone soon and make sure you take your divorce decree with you to your first meeting. You may be able to settle this through mediation instead of going to court which will be much cheaper. Just don't give up and don't let him bully you into agreeing to something you and your son are not comfortable with. I'll tell you it is a very stressful ordeal to go through for everyone involved. I would also recommend some counciling for you and your son. Jacquie Lanier (for you) and Jan Bailey (for your son, she is awesome with kids) are excellent and have helped many people get through situations like yours, and they accept most insurance. They are located in Clear Lake and their number is ###-###-####. Best of luck to you and your family. Just remember that God is with you. Hang in there. Steph

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Where was your attorney during all this, and why in the world didn't he/she explain all this to you prior to the judgment?
First, I would find a new attorney, then I would take your husband back to court. I am astonished at your attorney!

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A.B.

answers from Houston on

It does not matter whether it says joint, 50-50, sole, or primary. What matters are your rights and duties and periods of possession. Since I'm not looking at your decree, I can't help you with what it says.

But, the one thing to keep in mind is that you only have 30 days to appeal the decree, so you need to decide what you are going to do within 30 days from the day the decree was signed. Otherwise, you will have to wait a full year to modify it.

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R.C.

answers from Tyler on

Hello V., sorry to hear this has happened to you. You will be in my prayers. It sounds like your ex tricked you into signing this and the only thing you can do is fight it. You have to go back to court. Usually the reason men do this is because they do NOT want to pay child support and they would rather rip your child from you no matter how painful it may be for the child. We are the mothers for a reason and we are usually the ones who in our hearts truly mean no diceitfulness when we want to do this peacefully...they just pretend until they can con you...it happens a lot.

I feel what you say regarding having a piece of your heart ripped out and I am so sorry...please fight for your child, no one else could raise him with as much love as his mother...and pray, hold on to your faith.

This is what I did...because of the child support my ex didn't want to pay, he was willing to sign his parental rights away and now my husband has adopted my boys.

You are in my prayers and I send you lots of hugs. Lore

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

Yes, you can go back to court to change it. It is usally best to be with the mom and most judges think this way.

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S.N.

answers from Houston on

First all what a jerk. I would get yourself a lawyer and have them look at the divorce decree. Just because he is the primary doesn't mean he can take your kid away from you. It all depends though what is in your decree. I have mine in front of me as we speak getting ready to finalize it and there is not way he can take my kids from me. Even if he was named the primary.
Good luck and get yourself a lawyer immediatly!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi V.,
My name is S. and I am an attorney. I would recommend that you contact either the attorney who represented you in your divorce or you contact a good family law attorney. Most attorneys' consultation is free. Here are the names of two attorneys that you may contact. Lori Lenstrom, ###-###-#### or Michael Busby, ###-###-####. One of them should be able to help you make sense of everything. Good luck and I will be praying for you.
S.

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

Your attorney should have explained that to you. IF your decree says "joint", then you are correct, it should be 50-50. I would call the attorney that handled your divorce. ASk him what Your ex is talking about. If you are wrong and he is primary, then I would go to the expense of going back to court. I would sit down now and make a list of what your ex has and hasn't done for your son. Especially if he has missed special events, visitation, anything that disappointed your son. I would also ask him if he had primary custody why he hasn't been primarily responsible for him. I may be cynical but it sounds like he has a girlfriend that wants to "play mommy" and rather than have a child, he wants to substitute your son. Your decree should list his primary residence even if you share custody. It's too late to read before signing it but you now need to know intimately what that document says on every page. This is the only way you can protect your son and yourself.

FYI, the courts will not allow a child of 9 to choose where he lives. I think they have to be 12 and even then the court only takes it as a consideration.

Good luck,
C.

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A.S.

answers from Houston on

I'm so sorry. No, your son should not have to choose. Get an attorney now. Richard Tholstrup houston, look him up. He is great! Until you get the dad back in court I would try to be nice to the dad so you can see your son whenever you want.

Call an attorney now, don't wait!

Mine is pulling me back because he wants more time. Three years after the divorce and I gave him every monetary thing he wanted and all I wanted was my son and now he wants him.

I am so sorry. Just tell your son you love him!

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

V.,

Firstly why didn't your lawyer explain the custody issues when the divorce decree was presented.

You need to speak to a family lawyer and request a writ of habeus corpus - this means that the child has live in your primary residence for the longest time and does not need to be uprooted. Unless you can come to an amicable decision with your ex-husband I would consult with a lawyer immediately.

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