My child has a group of friends that she runs with at our church. They also are mostly homeschooled children. Anyway this week our older children were gone to summer camp and our daughters were left at home. I thought it would be a great week for all the girlfriends to get together and do some fun stuff this week so they would feel like they had just as much fun as the summer camp crew. Well I thought wrong! When I brought up my idea to this person I have known for years and our kids practically have grown up together I was told she already had plans. I said ok and dropped it only to find out that all week long the mother has planned activities for her daughter and the rest of the gang that my kid also runs with and mine isn't invited. To be excluded from one thing occasionally is one thing but all of this all week is pretty upsetting to me. To top it off one of the children invited to attend the socials is my daughters cousin who I babysit every day. I suppose this person wanted to send me a message. Whats your take. Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your comments. I don't know how to reply to each of you individually so I am posting here. The mother is the one who planned these activities. The girls are 8-9 years old. The girls for the most part get along well and have an occasional spat over silly stuff like all kids do. Whenever I see the mother she acts like everything is fine. This woman is the support group leader and her husband is an elder in the church. I guess that makes people gravitate toward them. So when I call the other kids parents to arrange play activities they already have plans with the this family. This makes me hurt for my kids. I decided to visit another church so my kids can make new friends who aren't influenced by the actions of this family. A new support group is in order too. It will be hard because my kids like being around the friends they have made already. We may try inviting some of the kids over from time to time and see if they are willing. Thanks for all your input!
I would just be honest and call her out on it. Say, you said you already had plans but I found out that you all have plans together. Did I or my daughter do something to justify all of your actions in not including her? that is really not cool and very sad for your child. I swear, some parents can be as cruel and some bullies to our children!!!!
Does your daughter play and socialize with the other girls on a regular basis? Have you considered involving her in activities outside the home schooling group? There are so many "day" activities offered during the summer at local libraries, museums, parks, etc. that she would be very busy and could make new friends.
The other option would be to confront your cousin but be prepared for an answer that you not like.
If the reason isn't an age difference in your girls vs. the ages of others in this group they run with (even by 2 years difference), I might be tempted to call the person making these plans and ask "is there a problem because it seems my girls weren't included?" I know there's a difference in our church for elem. ages and youth group which is 6th grade and up. Many of them hang out together a lot of the time, but depending on the activity being planned, the elem. children are not invited to youth group activities because of their age and this does involve some plans for summer actitivies. Maybe there are other elem. age children that she could invite over that she attends school with (not just the church group).
I would definitely find out why she excluded your daughter. That is incredibly rude!! I am really sorry you are having to deal with that. How old are these girls that are getting together?
On a side note, this mom is setting a horrible example for these girls letting them know it's ok to exclude someone from a group for whatever reason. This is a good opportunity to though to show your daughter that this is not the right thing to do. I hope you get some answers and things get resolved.
I honestly think that they are so rude! Don't they realize that it is so hurtful to be excluded from things??? Especially to a child? I am so sorry for your daughter! I would really do my best to forget these people and seek out new, more trustworthy friends. Tell your daughter she did nothing wrong and the problem is not with her--its them.
Also, I would confront whoever is the "ringleader" of this clique and speak to the parents---find out who was doing the planning etc and why the didn't think to in invite your daughter. Its one thing to be left out of one activity or day etc. But to have the group do things all week! That is horrible! Help her find more friends....GL
M
That is definitely rude. I know it is a hard thing to do but I would find out why, that way at least you can have closure with this group of friends. I wouldn't want my daughters to be around such people and from church too. That is a shame.
