Changing Maiden Name to Married Name - a Vent

I've never heard of a bank being so picky to deposit money - to withdrawal, yes but not deposit. I'd stop wasting my time with that bank and I'd find a new one.

I haven't experienced problems like that since I'm in the minority of having kept my birth name when I married.

Lol! My Fiancee and I are getting married next month, we've been together for 1 1/2 and we decided to get married! I hope that it wont be complicated when I change my last name! I hope you can get through it!!

Oh.geez.

For me, I kept my maiden name, then added on my Husband's last name, with with NO hyphen, in between the 2 last names.
That way, per our Financial Advisor, I can legally use both names.
The "hyphen" on the other hand, would denote a totally different last name. And then the last name would HAVE TO be used, as "one" last name, just because of the hyphen or not.

We didn't have that problem that you had.
For us, and our wedding monetary gifts, most people just made the checks out to "cash." That way we could just deposit it, or cash it. Anyway. Or, people just gave straight cash, in the envelope as gifts.

Oh for crying out loud! Take the marriage license to the bank with your current ID and get er done!! I have been married over a year and have been using my married name with the old license. The banks made a photo copy of the license and keep it on file.

Problem solved!

You should change your name as soon as possible - which it sounds like you are doing.

I had the same problem when I got married at 21. I did not change my name right away and it caused some problems. When I did, the family I nannied for still wrote my paychecks to Rachel L and not Rachel D. I carried both ID's for a long time until nothing came to Rachel L anymore.

Go figure though, I'm in my capstone MBA course, have been married for 8 years in October, and still have to sign on using Rachel L because I did my undergrad there as well.

Just put the checks aside and spend your time writing all those thank you notes to those who gave them to you! I never deposit a gift check until the thank you is written anyway - I don't want the giver to see the cashed check on a statement before he/she receives a note expressing my gratitude. My son just graduated, and he has a couple of checks on his desk that he will not deposit until the people are thanked!

If you have a lot of checks, have your husband get a safety deposit box at the bank. He can put anything in there - they are not allowed to look at what you do. After you figure out what you are doing with the name change thing, after you get your licenses (driver's and marriage), then your husband can get the checks out of the safety deposit box, you can both deposit them, and you can have your husband add you to the safety deposit box sign-in form with whatever name you are using.

If you have to get another license in November (I don't know why - my state doesn't change them at 21 - maybe it's your liquor laws?), then I wouldn't get one now if you want to save the fee. Just use your old license and your new marriage license at the bank - that should be enough.

Meantime you can decide whether you want to use one bank even if you have separate accounts. Or you can open a joint account for household expenses and each keep a separate account of your own. That's what my husband and I do. You will probably find it will be beneficial to have some joint money.

Relax and enjoy your honeymoon!

You just needed to endorse the check, you shouldn't need to be present to deposit it. Just endorse the checks with your new name and send DH to the bank to deposit them on a different day and time with a different teller.

I don't know what bank you bank with - you all you should have to do is endorse the check. The only thing I can think of is that Justin was trying to get cash back...but isn't your name already on the account????

I can deposit checks into my parents account at Bank of America and they live in California and I'm in Virginia. I put "FOR DEPOSIT ONLY" on the back of the check and "that's all she wrote!!" I don't even sign the back of the check - I just put FOR DEPOSIT ONLY. Simple as that.

Well, to add to your stuff...
You will need to change your social security card as well.
If you have a pass port - you will need to change that. \

Glad to hear that your MIL was smart and got your plane tickets for the honeymoon are in your MAIDEN NAME and not your married name as the names won't match on the tickets and picture ID.....good for her!!!

We flew out international for our honeymoon the day after our wedding so I had no time to do anything. I just took a copy of the paper that everyone signed that you send in to get your marriage license. When we got back I went about changing everything.
I carried around both IDs for a while and both social security cards along with our marriage certificate for a little while until everything caught up.
We never had any problems with the bank. Maybe it's just that bank? You said you both use different banks, try the other one. I would go about consolidating all your accounts in the same place anyway, it will make life so much easier for you in the long run.

Yep.

Which is why I carried both licenses for several years.

Just an FYI, you guys could've deposited your checks via atm machine. Right? Might have made it easier.

Try depositing the checks at your bank. People write checks out to me under my maiden name all the time (I've been using my marred name for almost 9 years but one of my kids has my maiden name so it's confusing) and I never have problems depositing them. Or, add him to your account at your bank. Sounds like his bank is being unreasonable...you might get better service with yours, especially because you have the marriage certificate as proof.

Try depositing them via the ATM machine at a different branch!

Later you can worry about changing your name or in the meantime going into the bank & sitting down to speak to a bank specialist (the one that opens the accounts) & adding your name to your husbands account.

So it will be a joint account w/both of your current names in the interim as you process all paperwork.

No, I did not go through this process when I changed my name.

Candidly, we asked our bank ahead of time what we needed to have in order to deposit checks following the wedding and did what they suggested. It really wasn't a big deal.

As for the flight, if you have your new license and your marriage license with you, they don't have issue with it. You simply call the airline ahead of time and let them know that you have legally changed your name. Ask them to note it on your reservation and confirm what documents you need to have with you to board the plane.

Our mortgage paperwork is all in my maiden name. When we refinanced our house last fall, I signed K. P f.k.a. K. O (new signature "formerly known as" old signature). Banks are used to this situation, as are most places that require a signature.

This happens all the time... do some research ahead of time and it's much less frustrating.

I would be more pissed at the guests who wrote checks out to my married name when anyone with half a brain should KNOW that you can't change your name that quickly and its a PROCESS to do so.

That being said, this is the reason why I hypen my last name. My business is in my prior name and I'm married so if I get checks for either name, I'm covered. That was my easy way around it. Good luck.

This whole situation seems weird. I think a new bank might be in order!! Simply taking in your marriage license ought to be enough..geez.

As for requiring you to have a joint bank account to deposit the checks. That sounds flat out incorrect. I would ask to speak to the bank manager about that issue. It should be as simple as you both signing the back of the check and one of you depositing it.

This is definitely being made a lot harder than it needs to be. Good luck!

You would go nuts if you lived in Europe where to get a document you are suppsed to have another document that needs the first document (which you don't have yet, that's why you are requesting it) in order to be issued! Burocracy on Identity issues is completely paranoid everywhere I guess!

That is crazy.
I didn't change my name when I got married. When I get checks mistakenly made out to Diane S instead of Diane C, my bank just has me sign the way it was written out, and then, underneath, with my proper name. That is what we did with all our wedding checks too (and that was a different bank from the one we have now), since most people did not realize that I was not changing my name.

I have no idea why your husband's bank is being such a pain. Have you tried asking your bank (since you use different banks) to see if they will accept them?

This is one of the reasons why I didn't change my name. Way too much hassle.

My mom has been buying savings bonds for her great grandkids with my name on them - but she used my first name and my hubby's last name assuming I would change my name. When it comes time, I may have to change my name just to get access to these stupid bonds! Ugh!!!!

I think maybe checking with a "higher up" at the bank might help you. You shouldn't need both people present but rather both people signing it (such as you sign it and he sign it while he presents it and deposits the check). Another option would be to go to the bank it is drawn on with both signatures. You can sign it as V. W...K... and with the copy of your marriage license that the minister should have given you, it should be fine.

At our bank you can sign under the person's name on the back and deposit a check like that but not withdraw money unless the person is there and proof, etc. I would think if you signed your name under his ( both ways ) it would work for a deposit only at least. I can't imagine all this mess and think some of the advice you got should be helpful like for flying, etc.

When I changed my name and went to get my new driver's license they made a HUGE mistake that took them about an hour to get straightened out. Apparently there was another S. Marie with my exact same birthdate whose maiden name also started with a B. She had changed her name since, but her old profile still existed for some reason and the computer printed out an ID that had my name and info but HER picture! How's that for crazy?!

As for the bank, did you talk to the manager? Not just the teller supervisor, but the actual bank manager? Because it really surprises me that with you present and the checks being for deposit that it would be that hard for them to accomodate you. I would switch banks if I were you. Try a different branch if there's one in the area, and ask to speak directly with the manager. Take as much proof with you as possible regarding your marraige, but really the marraige certificate should suffice. Good luck, and have fun on your vacation!

Wow.
The bank is sure holding hard and fast, aren't they?

I've never known anyone to have this trouble, but they've banked with the same bank for many years and they weren't so uptight about it.
As for the airlines, I would make sure they know you just got married and explain the situation. You DO have a valid I.D. with your photo on it. Your name hasn't legally been changed yet. Take your I.D. and your marriage license, you have proof of identity. But, call the airline or your travel agent first to explain and ask what to do.

You're not the first couple going on a honeymoon before all the legalities are in place.

This is just my opinion. It will be sorted out in time.

Best wishes.

I remember having a license in both my maiden name and my married name for a while. I don't see why you'd have to open a joint account just to cash the checks; although, you may want to open one or use one of your existing accounts with the others name added, depending on how you're going to handle finances. You could probably go to the banks that the check was written from and just cash them instead of depositing them (even then you need the name to match on you ID). Good luck and congratulations!

I would just have put the checks in the ATM machine and been done with it. This really stinks.

I found that I had to start with my SSN and then roll from there. If the teller had told me I couldn't cash a check with "and" on it, I'd either talk to the manger or get the check writer to rewrite the check in a way they'd cash. I flew on a passport that still had my maiden name on it but had I a new ID, I would have brought the marriage license along.

I changed my name in the end via court order b/c I wanted to take back a family name so it wasn't just a marriage license I needed, but the court order. And wouldn't you know, PayPal (liars that they are) won't accept it. They want my license to change my name. Because the DMV trumps the county court? Idiots.

After you change your name you will still have the old license with a paper stapled to it, so you should be fine for th plane tickets. I never changed my name when I got married. My older relatives just cannot grasp this, lol. They write me checks with.my husbands name. I just add my last name to.the end in the same color ink. The bank has cashed them that way. Or slide in 'or' so they say Justin and/or V.. I guess technically you shouldnt alter a check, but since it is a check for you and you are not trying to fraud or cash someone elses check you should be fine. When you switch your license you will get a.paper with the new name stapled to the old.license with your old name, you should be good.with that for a while... at least thats how it worked here in MI when I got married the first time about 10th yrs or so ago.

My purse was stolen less than 2 weeks before my wedding. After the wedding I had to go get a new ID with my maiden name, go get my new SS card, then go get my new ID with my married name. It was a huge pain.

Been there...carry both licenses. Make sure your state doesn't require you to have a new social security card to get your name changed. Florida is like that and its a big old pain.

Another thought, can you go to the bank the check is from and just cash it? Why does it have to be deposited? Also, can you sign checks over to people still? If so, sign it to him or his mother and have them deposit it and give you the cash.

I'm sure this can be solved...think outside the box time

Mine wasn't quite as in-depth as yours - but I hated changing my last name. It was such a pain! With Social security office, DMV, credit card, mortgage, insurance, job (including email address), etc. I think it's tradition for women to do it because you know guys would never jump through all those hoops.

I didn't have the problem with the airplane tickets, but did get a few checks made out to Joey & Jessica G. And my last name was not G yet. Luckily for us, many wrote it out to Joey & Jessica (no last name!). We had no problems depositing any of the checks together into my husbands account (no matter which last name was written). But we did understand that "OR" is much simpler than "AND."

Pain in the butt! But at least they're trying to keep your identity/money safe!

The marriage license should be enough with your driver's license in the W name to prove who you are. I would be threatening to change banks at this point.
In Wyoming they started needing so much to get your driver's license renewed that I would suggest to all women to keep their maiden name to keep from having to show marriage licenses for every marriage you may have had. I had been married before and had to take in both marriage certificates and my divorice papers from the first marriage. So ladies don't burn your certificates and divorice papers in celebration..lol No I didn't do that but thought I would have to get a certified copy from the states I was married in. I took in 2 different birth certificates and they wouldn't accept either one. This is a DMV that I got my first driver's license and all renewals for the past 34 years. They told me I had to send to the state for a certified copy. I had one my mom got from the state when I was born but someone forgot to stamp it and sign it. It worked getting into school, getting my social security card and my first drivers license. I also had a stamped and signed copy from the hospital with my foot prints on it, they said no. By this time I was not a happy camper and said "You know I need a copy of my driver's license to get the state copy of the birth certificate" They said "well your driver's license is valid" I said "yes, the license I got with THIS birth certificate!" Sometimes people forget to think when they come up with these rules.

On another bank issue, my daughter has a business account and she had put her husband on there as a second signiture. When they seperated she went in to take him off of her business account and asked if she needed to open a different account to do it. She was told that she could put a hold on his being able to draw money out of it so she thought it was safe. Turns out they didn't tell her that he could go remove that hold since his name was on the account too and he did just that then emptied out the account. She closed all her accounts with that bank and moved to another one, which is what she should have done from the beginning.

And that is why I still have the name I was born with. And always will.

I have SOOOO been there. I remember feeling so damn frustrated that I couldn't deposit some checks. You know what I did?
I just called the people that wrote the checks to us, expressed SO MUCH gratitude for it, gave a condensed story, and asked for the checks to be written again, just to MY maiden name (because I didn't change my name for 11 months...same reason as you, I traveled out of the country)
L.