Changing from Crib to Big Boy Beds

Updated on December 04, 2008
H.N. asks from Ocean Springs, MS
16 answers

I have twin boys who are almost 16 months old. They both sleep in their own crib. We have been having major sleep issues with them sleeping all night. One will wake up crying which wakes the other one up! We end up waking up to attempt rocking them back to sleep and they then refuse to go back to sleep. Because we are tired and need our sleep we end up putting them in bed with us for the rest of the night. Most of the time it seems as if they are waking up because they lost their passie. My husband thinks that if we put them in big boy beds, when they wake up, rather than cry and wake his brother he can just get up and come to our room....I don't think they are ready for a big bed and frankly don't want them in my bed every single night but I don't know what to do! I guess my question is is it too soon to move to a big bed? If not then should we try one bed for them to share or two? Any suggestions on getting them back to sleep qould be great! It breaks my heart to let them just cry.... That is just something that I feel is not right for me! Thanks for everybodys time!God bless!

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C.G.

answers from Charleston on

I am going through the exact same problem with my one year old twin girls, before they would sleep all night but now one gets up at 12 and the other at 2, still trying to find a solution.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I had my second child when my daughter was 16 months.... and didn't feel comfortable with her in a big girl bed so we bought another crib. Mine stayed in cribs until they were 2 1/2 and 3 years old. They were happy there... didn't climb out and I knew where they were at night. I know a lot of mom's switch MUCH earlier, but I slept better this way. Is there any way to get them into different rooms? Other than that, I just don't know... seems they are learning now that if they make enough fuss they can sleep with mom and dad. Could take a few crummy nights, but I think I'd keep going back in there and laying them back down in their cribs until they get the hint. Please keep in mind that I know this will be that much harder with twins keeping each other going! Yikes.. good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Both of my childern were out of the crib b4 they turned 2. My daughter b/c we had to have the crib for my son. With her she got a full size bed we did not do a toddler bed. We put a baby gate up at her door so she could not get out of her room and wonder around the house when we were a sleep. (we did not put the gate up until we went to bed.) It took a few nights b4 she stopped getting out of bed b/c she did not want to go to bed. With my son he was trying to climb out of the bed and i did not want him to get hurt. We put him in a toddler bed. Had the gate up so he could not get out of his room when we were asleep. after a few nights he would go to his bed and go to sleep. It will take a few nights for them to know that they can not just get out of bed and play. Now my kids are 5 and three no gates on the door and on saturdays they get up and go up front to watch cartoons. we get a little more sleep now.

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A.M.

answers from Columbus on

You can turn the cribs into youth beds,they are closer to the floor.Push them close together so they can sleep with each other for a while.If you let them keep geting in bed with you it will be hard to break that habit.Good luck!

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B.P.

answers from Atlanta on

The way I knew my son was ready for a "big boy" bed was when he began crawling out of his crib. This is obviously dangerous and I can't tell you how alarming it is to hear your child fussing and when you go to their room to see what the matter is they are stuck hanging half way out of their cribs and crying out of shear terror that they are going to fall and hurt themselves. Once this started happening I jumped to purchasing a toddler bed for him and we were able to use his crib mattress for it so it worked out nicely. It didn't keep him in bed when he was supposed to be but it did ensure that he wouldn't fall out of his crib and hurt himself.
If your twins have started trying to escape from their cribs then I'll tell you that it is definitly time for a toddler bed. If they aren't trying to get out of their cribs but are just waking up in the middle of the night then your decision is really just what you prefer. Yes, it would make it easier for them to come into your room on their own at night but you don't really want to start that habit with them or you will pay for it in the long run when you begin trying to break them of that habit.
First, the reason why they are waking up in the middle of the night and crying is because they know you will go in there and rock them back to sleep or will eventually put them in bed with you. I would cry every night too if I knew it would get me what I want.
When I brought my son home from the hospital my husband and I had an agreement and this was that we would not do something one night that we aren't willing to do every night. If you use that as a general rule then you are able to keep yourself from starting bad habits with your kids when it comes to their bed times and sleeping through the night.
I wouldn't suggest you remove them from their cribs if they aren't trying to escape from them. What I would suggest you do is seperate them at night when it's time for bed so I would move one of the cribs into a different room. Then I would stop going into calm them down when they cry and I would not ever bring them to bed with you.
Seperate them at night when it's bed time. This will help with the other one sleeping through the night if one of them wakes up crying. Then, if one wakes up crying you can get up once, and check on them to make sure they're ok. Give them their pacifier back if they've lost it but do not talk to them, do not rock them back to sleep, do not put them in bed with you. If they are dry and have their pacifier then tuck them in and leave the room. Get in and out and do not say anything to them or turn on the light. You want to refrain from stimulating them to where they are awake and have a difficult time going back to sleep. Then if they continue to cry, just let them cry. They have to learn to sleep on their own and they have to learn that you are no longer going to come in and rock them and put them in your bed to sleep.
It may take a week or so of difficult long nights but I promise you that this will be worth it. You do not want to be one of those parents who lose control at night when it's bed time.
I know this may sound harsh by suggesting you let your baby cry but I promise you that the crying won't hurt them. It will ware them out and they eventually will put themselves back to sleep. It will be hard and you will have to fight yourself to not go in their room and comfort them but you are doing more good for them by helping them learn this lesson then you are by going in there and giving in to their crying.
Be consistent and stay firm. You will see, I promise you. The nights of rocking for all hours and having a bed full of children will be long gone in a weeks time if you can just keep to this regiment.

Good Luck!

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G.M.

answers from Columbia on

Hi H.,
I don't think 16 month olds need to be able to roam around at night in case they don't come right to you. If there was a fire, heaven forbid, you might not be able to find them in a hurry. Also, they do not need to be in your bed. That's the last place they need to be because eventually your relationship with your husband will suffer. He's looking at a quick fix, but that will bring on consequences that he will not like in a short amount of time. (just a note:Being intimate with your husband while a child is in your bed, even if they are asleep, should not be an option nor should you want that).
I think when they are ABLE to climb out of their crib then it is time to move them into a toddler bed, but they need to not be able to roam around when you are asleep or put themselves in danger even in their own room. So child proof it if it's not. No hanging cords, lamps, benches by windows, etc. Maybe put a chain lock on the outside of the door so when they open it they can't get out, but can call to you. I know you hate if they cry, but when they get older they won't remember it. Letting them in your bed will be something very hard to break. Good luck, there will be plenty of crying now if you try to change anything, so get prepared. It's them making the decisions or you. Which will it be? Make a decision and then be CONSISTENT, this is the key to everything as they grow up. Pick your battles cautiously.
Good luck,
G.

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M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

When my daughter started doing this, I talked with the pediatrician. She told me that it was ok to take her passie's away. We started with taking them away during they day and only allowing her to have them during the night and naps. After about a week, we cut the tip off of the passie and gave it to her. She didn't like it as much and three days later we were passie free. She has slept through the night with out crying fits for months now, with the exception of when she isn't feeling well. I don't know if that is the way you want to go. Also as for the big boy bed, I think that your son may wake up and wake up your other son, thus your problem still occurs.

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C.D.

answers from Greensboro on

We started experiencing a similar situation with our son around 12 months. He started waking in the middle of the night and the only way he would sleep was if it was with us. We bought him a toddler bed and that fixed the problem. He just didn't want to be confined. He also wakes up much happier because he can get himself out of bed and go play. Good Luck!

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M.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a friend that keeps about 8 passies in the bed so when he wakes up, he can find one easily and go back to sleep. As far as the big boy bed, personally, I wouldn't want my 18mo old to wander around the house when I am asleep. But, that is just me. You have to do what is right for you. Every kid is different and so is every parent. If they aren't climbing out of the crib, I would leave them in it. My daughter is 2.5yr now and is sleeping in her big bed. We have her room gated off so she can't escape (because believe me, she would and god only knows where she would go). She does sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, plays for a while and then climbs back in her bed and goes back to sleep. So, it did work for us, but I don't have twins in the same room. One might wake the other up to play. Either way, a tough delima. I hope you find what works for you and your family. Good Luck :)

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey H.,
I have twin 3 year old girls. We switched to big beds at 2 1/2 with them & the transition went fabulous. I think 16 months is definitely too early because they won't be staying in their beds and you won't be able to reason with them yet.
My advice is to go into their room when they wake up without saying a word and replace their pacis, put blankets on, etc., and leave the room. They will learn to go back to sleep on their own eventually if they know when they wake up, they don't get stimulation and get to go to mom & dad's bed. I think that will be hard to break, but worth it to have your bed to yourselves.
Good Luck!
S.

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Our 1st child was 14 months old when our 2nd was born. We did boot our oldest out of the crib at 16 months. He was fine. It worked out well. We taught him how to stay in his bed at night and go to sleep. I started out by just sitting beside the bed with my eyes closed and made him stay in bed. Btw, none of my children liked a toddler bed. My 1st got a full size bed and our 2nd got a twin size bed.

With our 2nd child ,we took him out of the crib at 18 months. He kept getting up in the middle of the night, but all I did was walk him back to his room or carry him back and hug him. No talking....that just wakes them up more. When he came back into my room just seconds later, I did the same thing. I lovingly took him back. I never gave up, he did.

None of our children stayed in the crib past 18/19 months.

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M.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I have one year old twins and them sleeping through the night has always been a huge issue. We finally had to seperate them into different rooms so that they could learn to go back to sleep after waking up. We just set up a pack n play in the next room. This has helped alot. We did have to let them cry a little but they soon learned to go back to sleep. Trust me fix it now or the problem is going to get bigger. I don't see how changing the beds will help at all. Let them cry for just a little while or they will never learn to go back to sleep. How would you ever expect a child to walk if you carried them around 24/7.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

My twins are grown now and have kids of their own, but I well remember keeping them in cribs until they were old enough to climb out of one, and did the same with my two older girls, as well. We went straight from cribs to twin or double beds from there, usually around age 2 to 2 1/2. I never ever allowed any of my four girls to climb into our bed, not once. One of my daughters woke up nightly until she was nearly five, and I would get up, give her a drink of water, lay her back down, all without a sound from me. Eventually, she slept all night. This was always my course with my kids at night -- never speak in the middle of the night and never let them get into your bed. You might try letting them sleep together -- this way, they might comfort each other back to sleep. My theory was always to see about basics -- need clean diaper? Need a drink of water? Need a little comfort back rub? But no sounds, no talking, and no getting them out of the bed. I even changed diapers in the crib. They get the idea eventually that they're not getting up, no matter what, but are comforted that you are still nearby, and they'll sleep all night again. I'm always so dumbfounded to read on this site about mothers getting the kids up to come to their bed at night. Bad bad bad idea! Even if they're sick, you sleep in the room where they sleep, but do not get them up except to clean them up if they're vomiting. Then straight back to their bed or crib, even then. Now that he's been to your bed, it might take a week or so for him to get back into the swing of staying in his own bed, but he will. Everything about raising children is your will versus their will. Whose is stronger? Yes, with twins it's more difficult if one wakes the other up, i.e., two to comfort back to sleep, but do not get them up out of their beds and you'll be fine eventually. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Columbia on

I have five-year-old twins and I can tell you from experience, get the one out of your bed. If you have to let him cry a little or be with him for a little while until he goes back to sleep do it until he learns to go back to sleep on his own. One of my five-year-olds STILL wants to come in my bed from letting him sleep with us in fear that he would wake the other. Like you, I was heartbroken when he cried. I ended up moving mine into big boy beds earlier than most at about 18 - 20 months. I placed them in a bed together with rails. I can also tell you that my boys STILL sleep in same bed, still like to touch feet or hands while sleeping. If they are not touching, they will awaken and find each other. Your one twin might be missing that touch so putting them back together might be worth a try. The crib was too small for me to put mine back together which is why I went to a bed. Best of luck.

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P.

answers from Spartanburg on

I did that when my daughter was 2 becuase she kept waking up wanting to see me. It was a tough transition without having the security of the bars, but we made it.
Now, we have a visitor in our bed every night. She will not spend the whole night in her bed. I've heard her wake up, pout and go back to sleep, so she can do it, but she just wants to be with us. If it's close to normal wake up time, she won't go back to sleep.
Now, this is okay with me. I get more sleep and I like to cuddle with her. I'm not sure what will happen when another baby enters our lives.
If you don't want this situation, then don't allow them to come into your room. You and your husband need to agree on it. You will still be loosing sleep taking them back to the big boy bed, but hopefully a little more work will pay off in the long run.

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C.H.

answers from Spartanburg on

I have twin girls and I remember at 18 months they began to climb out of their cribs. One occassion one of the twins tried to climb out but got her leg trapped in between the crib and the wall. After that I insisted my hubby change the beds into Big Girl Beds. 16 months is only 2 months earlier than mine so NO I do not think it's too soon. However, I think it's up to the parents. If mine had not started to climb out of theirs and have the potential of seriously hurting themselves I would have kept them in their cribs till they were 30 ! LOL! Just kidding! It's just that once you change it they do have the "freedom" to just get out of bed when ever they want. With my twins the second-born would ALWAYS get up and crawl into bed with her sister. I would pick her up and place her back into her bed but by morning when I would go in she was back in her sister's crib so I just let it be. They are almost 6 and now sleep in seperate beds but in the same room. I cannot offer any advice on the other waking the other one up. I find this odd because "usually" twins just get used to it and adjust from what I have heard but I guess there is always an exception. It is a pet-peeve of mine NO KIDS IN THE BED unless they are sick of course. If they cried during the night I would let them fall back asleep and lay them back into their own bed. They knew that they were not "allowed" to sleep with mommy and daddy and still know this. I am not judging anyone who allows it I just personally cannot take it because number one they hog up the bed. Number two I just can't ever "fully" go back to sleep when they are in the bed with me. Plus, my sister allowed my neice to sleep with them every night till she was about 7...I told myself never! I stuck to it too. I know some people have said seperating in different bedrooms solved their issues but with mine I could never seperate them because it would cause more drama than it was worth. I know eventually one day they both will want seperate rooms but till they ask me they can stay together. I think it's neat that they can be so close. They will eventually lead different lives but still have that special bond and I don't want to break that bond by any means. Even at age 6 to seperate them would be detremental to them both. They are seperated at school because they do better seperated in that type of environment but when it comes to nighttime --forget it. That is the only advice I can offer -sorry!

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