Caring for Asperger & Special Issues

Updated on June 24, 2008
K.T. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

HI! Long story, but my son is best friends with a child at daycare named O., and O. is having some behavior problems at school. The parents may need to remove him from the class room or for half-days at least till he is better behaved. I have considered taking both O. and my son for the afternoons -- to diversify their week days since its summer and all. But, to me, O. seems like he has the signs of Asperger (the kids are 3 years old) and I think it's too early to "diagnose" and NOT MY PLACE at all to bring this up with his parents (they are working with the school to see what his problem is now anyway.)

I just wanted to hear from other parents who might have Aspeger/ADHD children. When did you see the signs? What advice could you give a caretaker on how to handle some of their problem behaviors? I would like to take care of the boys, but am not sure if I can handle O. for long periods of time.


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answers from Peoria on

Diagnosing any type of problem is always a hard thing to do. I work our Life Skills room at the local Jr. High. I do have to say that after working with special needs kids, you really do appreciate the healthy kids I have. Just be very careful if you choose to confront the parents of O. It is very hard to hear that your child may have a problem or is not "normal" compared to other children. I have been through it with my son. I have to tell you, there is nothing like sitting in a room w/ others and having them all tell you that there is somehting wrong with your child and you need to get him on medicine or that your child has ADD or ADHD and there are meds for that. I can't stand the whole "meds" thing. Long story short - I began trying to get help for my child and finding out what could be wrong. Because of my mother instincts and persistant attacking of the situation - my son was diagnosed with CAP (Central Auditory Processing) problem. There could be some underlying causes for O's behavior. Just be kind, loving and understanding. I am sure that things will fall into place. Good Luck & keep us posted.

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answers from Chicago on

Hi K., I am a chiropractor that specializes in children and chiropractic adjustments to specific areas of the spine along with neurosensory exercises for their brains help tremendously for children with ADD, ADHD, Aspergers, Autism, and Sensory Processing Disorders. I have training in helping these children and it works great. One child in particular thar I take care of came in so wild and hyped up. She was always rude and abusive to her sisters and it would physically hurt her to have her hair or teeth brushed. She also felt like her hands were always wet no matter what. Today ALL of that is gone. I see her now once every four weeks and she is doing great. Her sisters even thanked me for giving them their sister back and making her nice. I would try to get that little boy to me or another pediatric chiro. I am in Villa Park. If that is too far let me know and I'll find you one closer.




answers from Chicago on

It's really hard to tease out exactly what's going on with kids at that age. A psychologist suggested Asperger's at age 3 for my son, who was eventually evaluated with ADHD and sensory processing issues nearly 2 years later, but Asperger's still gets suggested although he is definitely not the classic type - probably something on the spectrum. I think the lines with these conditions are really blurry.

Anyway, short version is that although you can notice something is off about a child - our babysitter when my son was that age suggested the same thing - it's not as easy to figure out what to evaluate for. My guess is that the parents have an idea they need to take action but they aren't sure where to go with that information. In my experience, having a label wasn't as helpful as finding tools to deal with the day to day behaviors.

You should try having the kids for a couple of days and see how it goes. Talk to the parents about how they work with him, what the specific challenges are, and what tools (charts, rewards, whatever) they use to deal with them.

It sounds like it could be a great experience for both kids, so I hope it all works out. I think that the parents who are willing to give our special needs kids that little bit of extra help are wonderful people!



answers from Chicago on

I read Michelle's message and it is heartfelt. From a different perspective, I have a great friend who's son has major issues (i.e. sensory issues, ADD, or possibly Asperger's). He is a challenge and I know my limitations on how long I can handle him. However, it has never been my place to EVER make suggestions to my friend to get her son checked out when SHE knew there were issues and didn't know their extent. I am a mom and not an expert in that field. I am only there to support her. From what my friend has said, her son was an easy baby but she started to see developmental issues and sensory issues around 2 1/2 to 3 years old (I.e. tags on clothing, things too loud, chewing on hard macaroni, etc....) and also had a delay in speech and motor skills. Good luck. She will need the support from a good friend!

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