Hello ladies. I am actually in Georgia right now with my parents with the kids and am in need of some advice/support. I won't go into all the details of the accident itself because it would just take too long.
This past Wednesday (June 25) we were on our way home from the GA Aquarium. An 18 wheeler came over hit my mom's car. None of us should have survived, but By God's amazing grace the worst injury was a few scratches on my hand. Yes you read that right. I truely understand now what it means when someone says they see their life flash before their eyes. You think that you know, but I'm here to tell you it's totally different to experience it.
My problems are as follows: When I close my eyes at night all I can see/hear is the impact, tires, looking at the grill of the truck, my daughter screaming. I am not sleeping very well. My oldest daughter is terrified every time she see's an 18-wheeler and freaked out when we went over the highway today. She will not get in the car if my mom is driving. My mom said she does not want to drive with the kids in the car, much less drive right now.
I am sure part of it is that we have been here two weeks and are ready to go home. But I fell bad because as much as I want to be here with my family, I want to be back in Texas. Does anyone have any advice on how toover come the night time issues?
We've been back home now for almost 2 weeks. I started sleeping better once home too. My oldest daughter is still asking everytime we get in the car if we are going on the highway. She says she not scared but just wants to know. All is well and we are thankful to be alive
S., I'm glad to hear that everyone made it (angels were watching over you). However, the psychological impact needs attention & counselling would benefit all of you. This can be set up through iether your Mom's, your own or the Truck driver's insurance. I am an attorney & can help you put this together. You can call me at ###-###-####.
S.
Dear S.,
I'm not a Psychologist but I have had a similar experience in response to a car acccident and I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I had to see a counselor for several weeks to learn why I was so anxious and scared and then learn how to deal with those emotions. My counselor said it is quite common when a person has a near-death experience. The physical injuries don't even have to be catastrophic. It's just the possibility of death that triggers that response in a person's mind. It's a very real disorder and I believe it needs real treatment.
I don't know if you have the means to seek counseling for you and your family, but if you do, I highly recommend it. It really helped me get past the fear. If you don't have the means to seek counseling, maybe you could get some books from the library or do some research on-line about PTSD. There were very specific steps I had to go through to get past the fear and sleeplessness and I could feel myself getting less and less anxious with each passing week. I remember the first thing the counselor said I had to do was I had to "relive the accident", but in a "safe place", by telling the whole story, every moment that I could recall, from beginning to end.
I'm so glad the physical scars from your accident were not deep, and I hope you can find a way to overcome the emotional ones that are. My prayers are with you and your family. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this further. I know where you are right now and I know it's not a pleasant place to be.
Blessings,
N.
.....I agree with all the other comments, do as they suggest.
Also, call your church, if you have one, and get Phone Counseling. If you don't have one you might try calling one near you and just try talking to them on the phone, then follow up for more counseling when you get back.
There's also the church's in Georgia... walk into one that has counseling and explain that you need to get home.
Lastly, the longer you wait the harder this is going to be, so get a move on it. Explain to the kids (and remind yourself) that you drove or rode in vehicles for many years and NEVER had anything like this happen. Give statistics... if that will help. Like out of the 300M folks in the US only a very small percentage are in car wrecks and fewer are killed, less than .5%! And since you've already been in a crash, you are unlikely to be in another any time soon.
Have a positive attitude for yourself and the kids.
Get on the road before July 3rd or well after July 4th weekend. Drive in the middle of the day, no rush hour, plan your stay over on the drive and try to do something fun... like if you stop in Vicksburg, Miss. for the night go see the Civil War Battle Field or something... or the doll museum... or whatever you can find (google) or eat at the local Chuck E Cheese.
Good luck, I'll say a pray for you.
If you can get yourself and your family into counseling as soon as possible, I'm sure it would help. What you are describing sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and there are treatments for it. I'm so glad that no one was badly injured.
Best Wishes,
E.
I'm sorry to hear about your accident. God is so good and he was watching over you all that day. Prayer helps me so much.
I don't know if you belong to a church or not. In our church, we have Stephen Ministers (Lay Staff) that can listen to you and be a friend to you. We are Methodist and maybe when you get back to Texas, you can get more done when you are home. It isn't really counseling, cause they are professional paid counselors. I've used a Stephen Minister and it is very comforting to have them when you go thru tough times.
You could talk to a friend or a Minister. You could go and get professional counseling. If you are having trouble sleeping, try taking Tylenol PM for a few nights and if that doesn't help, then go to the Dr. and see if he can give you an medicine to help you sleep.
You could try journaling. Sometimes I do that at night when I can't sleep, if something is bothering me, I will journal. Get a notebook or blank journal type book from a bookstore and use that to write your thoughts in. I write about my feelings and what is bothering me. It really helps me. You could read a book to help on anxiety/stress, that will help with anxiety.
I have anxiety and I am taking medicine for it. It really is helping me. You might want to consider medicine as an alternative to helping you. I would certainly try the counseling, the journaling first and then use medicine as a last resort type of thing.
I've had accidents before and it is very frightening. I had trouble sleeping the first couple of nights after the accident. Mainly, because I was in a lot of pain. I will pray for you S. and hope that this situation gets better. It is a miracle that you are alive! I've been in several accidents and have had mostly neck/arm injuries from them.
When I had my accidents, I hated driving after that. Over time it did get better. It will take time for everyone to feel comfortable driving again. Play Therapy helps with kids, if there issues continue. For right now, reassure the kids that that driving in a car/vehicle isn't bad. That was an unfortunate accident that you all went thru. I would pray with your kids and pray for safety, health. I would play some soothing music on the radio, calming music while you are driving. You all could sing too, some fun family songs. That might help the kids. You might look online for other suggestions on calming fun things to do in the car while traveling with kids. Hope this helps.
The best thing to do right now is PRAY. AND as someone who has dealt with insomnia and anxiety from a life changing experience, I would also seek medical assistance. Sometimes after trauma like that you need some type of counseling.
Because I know how it feels to try to go to sleep and see pictures from a traumatic experience and not be able to sleep soundly, I would ask the doctor for something to help you sleep. You won't need it forever, but you will until you are able to deal with what has happened. It is good you are noticing it now and trying to do something about it. I went 3 to 4 months without getting sleep and trust me, it was not a walk in the park. But now....I sleep just fine, no meds.
I will pray for you and your family. You are blessed to have survived such an accident. GOD has plans for you and HE is always in control.
S.,I totally relate to the fear you are experiencing. I had an accident 2 years ago with my two girls in the car (they were 9 and 11). The next time we got in the car, both of them were nervous. They watched how I was driving and would say things like "slow down mom!" or "you're getting too close to that car!" I could tell they were believing that it was going to happen again, and it was scaring them.
At my church I pray with people 3 days a week dealing with issues stemming from wrong beliefs. This is normal when we experience trauma. We begin believing lies that continue to cause pain when we "re-live" the event. I've received much freedom personally, so I knew how to handle it with my girls.
Here's what I did. I asked them if they were willing to close their eyes and FEEL the fear. (Neither of them would do it, by the way, until we got in the car the next morning and the fear started by itself). I asked them to focus on what they were BELIEVING that made them afraid. Once they faced the beliefs (we'll never be safe, God can't protect us, we're going to die) then I prayed for the Holy Spirit to bring them the truth.
I watched their tears dry up and peace come, as He brought truth to their hearts. Within 5 minutes all the fear was gone and they were playing and talking with no thought about the traffic. I even drove pretty close to the car in front of me to "test" it. They were fine.
God is the only one who can bring complete peace to what you're facing. You don't have to be a "church-goer" for Him to care about you. I know you'll get much good advice on how to cope with this issue, so do what you feel is best. But if you can't COMPLETELY overcome it, when you get back to TX email me and I'll help. All of us live with stuff that just isn't necessary, and the best time to catch it is when the pain is on the surface, before it gets "stuffed."
I hope this helps. Keep in touch.
M.
Yeah, sounds like all you guys have a little post traumatic stress disorder, which I think anyone would in your situation. Maybe some local church counseling to help you get through the immediate time.
