Cant Lay Baby down to Sleep

Updated on February 28, 2012
N.S. asks from Ortonville, MI
13 answers

Ok, be kind, I'm very sleep deprived.
This is our 3rd baby and she's a handful. She has a mild case of acid reflux, she's teething, and she's recently getting over a cold that she was on steroids for and. Antibiotics for an ear infection. Poor thing has been through a lot. She's 6months old. Our latest problem is I cannot lay her down to sleep. I've tried laying her down awake, laying her down sleepy, and nursing her to sleep. As soon as I start to lower her she wakes up and screams! She wants me to hold her all night long and all day long. Its been rough. When she is rested, she has no problem laying on the floor playing under her play mat (dangling toy thing).

I just don't know what to do. I'm ready to pull my hair out. She's no longer on any meds. Any ideas on what could be the problem and how to fix it? We've tried giving her relief for her teeth and ears just to see if that was the problem, but that didn't work either. She sleeps in her bouncer for the acid reflux or her crib (elevated on one end). She used to sleep in both with no issues. She's never ever been a good napper. Pretty much nonexistant.
Thank you so much for your help.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for ur help. Went to dr. He said she's healthy, so now its on to sleep training. That'll be my next posting.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

Ok usually when they won't lay down its due to ears. Either a she still has a ear infection again or b her ears are being effected by her teeth I am having same issues with son he's had a ear infection for the last three months. Take her back to the dr. Give her Advil or Tylenol for pain . That helps also put two firm pillows in her crib so she sits at a slant like if you was holding her. That helps with him to sleep at least three hrs without me holding him. Good luck

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

We adopted a child that had alot of health issues. In retrospect, I wish I would have just put him in a carrier, slept with him etc. The sleep deprivation for us both was insane. Yes, it's not the perfect solution and you have to "undo" it later BUT sometimes it's just about survival.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My doctor recommended the swing. It saved our sanity. We had a swing that did side to side and front to back. The side to side was just what the doctor ordered (so to speak). He'd sleep in that beautifully and it had a removable seat with vibration so we'd take it upstairs with us and turn the vibration on and he'd sleep peacefully. You must be careful, though, about letting a baby sleep in a carrier, swing, etc that their head is properly supported and their airway is open. Babies can suffer from positional asphyxia where their head rolls forward and cuts off their airway, so a proper recline angle and head support is critical.

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Poor, poor baby. Must feel terrible.. And poor mom and dad. I can only imagine. I am Terrible without sleep.

I was going to also suggest the swing or to prop up the mattress slightly. Roll up a towel and place it under the head of the mattress.

Maybe in the carrier to sleep. Drive around in the car till she falls asleep, place her in the stroller and roll her around laying down.

The pressure of the ears, the terrible pain of the teething and over all just feeling horrible is so difficult for an adult, I can only imagine a baby.

Have you tried swaddling her, even though she is older, it may help with the reflux..

I also remember for a while one of our neighbors placed her child in her carrier on top of the washing machine and then the dryer to get that slight movement and the warmth of the machines to sooth her little boy.. It gave her a little time to just sit and not have to hear the crying.

2 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

N.:

this was my life with Nicky from the day he was born. he could NOT sleep laying down.

It turns out it wasn't acid reflux - it was because he was premature and his ears were not fully developed so every time he laid flat - his world would spin. We got tubes put in his ears when he was 14 months old and he was a WONDERFUL baby after this!!

How did we do it for the first 14 months? We had him sleeping in bouncy chairs and his car seat. We inclined his mattress and put a board at the end so he wouldn't get his legs stuck at the bottom.

Call your ENT in the morning - have her ears checked to see if the canals are complete and if he would consider tubes in her ears. it might just be what you need!!

2 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Hi N., it's amazing how such a teeny little person can kick the collective asses of two fully grown adults, isn't it?

I'll let the more contemporary moms give you some ideas that worked for them.

But I want to let you know, as an older mom with teenagers, it WILL end, you WILL sleep again.

I remember the crazy wildeyed sleep deprivation days very well. I feel for you. Profound exhaustion can make your outlook on life pretty bleak.

Wish I could come over for a few hours so you could lie down and get some rest.

Hang in there, mom. It's not forever.

(Sorry my responses are starting to sound more like a Grandma's than a mom's)

:)

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

OK, I am not being mean, just honest. She has to be trained or re-trained to sleep alone.

You have to put her down and walk away, let her fuss it out. She will figure out that she can sleep on her own, but while she was sick she learned that she doesn't have to!! I have had some of the most stubborn kiddos in my care that would startle themselves awake the moment I moved them away from my body. I had to just let them cry and fuss, retraining can take a couple of days, but she will learn.

Do this for your own sake!!!

Good Luck, M.

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Medford on

So she was sick, and now shes well, but wont sleep unless held, rocked, carried... sweet little thing. Sometimes when there isnt anything health-wise wrong, they still like to be held and rocked and carried because while they were sick, they formed a great fondness for what you did for them,,such as holding rocking, patting, sleeping with, holding, holding holding. Sometimes all you need to do is stop doing all those things for a couple days and break the cycle. Pretty hard to do when its your little one, but really, sometimes its just a habit and you can form a new healthier, easier to live with, habit by putting her down, and letting her fuss a bit. Not for hours, but 20 minutes, or depending on how hard shes crying, maybe a bit longer. My kids did this same thing after being sick. They just get so used to being held and carried they just dont want to give it up once they get well. BTW, they will do the same thing after you get home from a vacation where they got to sleep in the bed at a hotel with you too. They wont want to sleep in their own beds when they get home. Its all a matter of the habit they just picked up. Try making a new habit. good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

I'd would make another appointment and take her back to the doctor. My oldest had tons of ear infections. As soon as we would lay her down she would cry. I could tell instantly when she had an infection regardless of just being off meds. It could be the pressure in her ears.

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T.S.

answers from Phoenix on

So sorry to hear you are dealing with this. A couple of thoughts come to mind:
1) does she have new/fun toys in her crib? Something that she really enjoys and will find exciting enough to distract her?
2) our pediatrician said that we needed our sanity in order to be good parents....and that includes sleep. He said he was fine with our daughter sleeping in bed with us if it meant that the family got a good night sleep. It saved our sanity.
God luck!

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My son had a series of ear infections (likely just one that took forever to get rid of) and every two weeks we had a screaming baby all night long and then I was back in the pediatrician's office the next morning for a different antibiotic. My point is that it's possible the ear infection is not gone. Secondly, antibiotics do a number on anyone's stomach, much less an infant who already has some issues. It can take a month or so for the good bacteria in her gut to return to a normal state, so even after ending the antibiotic she might still have some issues. Our son would have diarrhea for about a week after he ended his antibiotic.

When he couldn't sleep lying down we tried the two things you mentioned, the bouncer and the elevated crib mattress, but when that didn't work I used the stroller. He was elevated and when he stirred a little when I laid him down I could move it back and forth and he would usually go right back to sleep. Might be worth a try, especially if your little one will nap in the stroller other times. Sometimes it was the only way I could get him to nap.

Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

I'm not sure there is an easy or magical answer for this. She's needy and you don't like listening to her cry - so you hold her. She won't learn to sleep on her own until you train her, and that will take some time and determination on your part. I know its tough to let them do this, but it is an important step towards independence that the whole family will benefit from.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Even Dr. Ferber says you have to re-tool your expectations when baby is sick, they need the comfort. When they are well, they will have become habituated to the extra attention they received from you at night. Sleep training all over again is what you need to do.

See if you can get 2 days of good sleep yourself (get your MIL over, check into a motel), then you can face the battle. Get your MIL over, have her take all the kids to the zoo, one day, and take nyquil during the day if you need to to get 6+ hours of shut eye. When you've slept, everything becomes easier.

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