Can't Get 6 Week Old to Sleep in Bassinet Anymore

Updated on March 13, 2008
A.O. asks from Kent, WA
78 answers

I'm an accidental co-sleeper with my son Kaden. He still wakes up usually every 2 hours to breastfeed (starting to have a couple 3 or 4 hour stretches). I get so tired when I am feeding him at night that I wind up falling asleep and not waking until he gets fussy for his next feeding. So he has gotten used to sleeping either on me or beside me. Now I have to wait until he is in a really deep sleep to put him in his bassinet, and even then he usually wakes up and starts crying a couple minutes after I lay him down. Everyone we know told us to let him cry it out, so I did for 3-4 days. Sometimes he would cry for only 15 minutes, but other times he would cry straight through until his next feeding. I don't want to try this method again until he is older, if even then. Maybe I wasn't consistent enough, or he is just too young for it. I wouldn't mind continuing to co-sleep but my husband is very against it, so I need to find a solution. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for the amazing amount of response to this! I talked more with my husband, and he said that he is okay with co-sleeping for now. His worry is that if we let it happen right now, Kaden will always be in our bed. So for now, we are still co-sleeping. I think when he is 3 or 4 months old I will try to get him to sleep in his crib. During the day he takes his naps either on me, or in his vibrating rocking chair. I have been laying him on top of whatever shirt I wore the day before so it has my scent on him. I'm not sure if that has helped or not. I tried swaddling him again several times both with blanket and the special swaddling blankets, but even when he was really little he didn't like being swaddled...especially his arms. He keeps squirming constantly until his arms are free, and it doesn't seem to make a difference if I swaddle the rest of his body. I haven't gotten a water bottle yet, but I think that will be the next thing I will try. And there are many other of your suggestions I can try too.

Thank you again for all of the responses! This is such a great resource for parents.

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J.P.

answers from Seattle on

You've gotten a lot of responses but I wanted to add that if you try swaddling the Miracle Blanket rocks! My son fed a LOT at that age and also wasn't a very good sleeper. We ended up swaddling him until he finally flipped over in his swaddle.

I believe 6 weeks is too young to CIO and I think that even Ferber agrees. Good luck!

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H.C.

answers from Medford on

I am a co-sleeper with my 3 month old daughter and it can be inconvenient, but I like her close to me, I love to watch her sleep.
My mom did something one night and she stayed asleep in her crib, I was amazed!!!
She swaddled her in a nice warm blanket before she fell asleep, that way her backside was not cold when she put her in the crib. If you keep him warm he may just stay asleep. Move him as little as you can from you to the crib or bassinet. You could also give him a bath just before bed, some babies fall asleep just after a bath.
Let me know if it works...
[email protected]____.com
H.

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

Hello, I'm a first time mom as well (I have a three month old son). I want to say up front that we are co-sleepers, so have not attempted the specific problem you are referring to. We did have an awful time trying to find a solution for daytime naps. The best solution I have found is a really good swaddle, and sleeping in a vibrating bouncy chair. We thought that at first the swaddle was not for us, however it is really important to get a blanket big enough so you an properly tuck every edge. Add the vibration and my son melts into sleep. I also recommend two books that I have found helpful. The first is "The Happiest Baby on the Block". The goals are referring to colic, but I found the methods work anytime soothing is needed. I thought I did not need to read the whole book, skimming works fine. The second is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". This is a great book for moms who don't want to cry-it-out. I recommend reading this one more closely. I hope you guys are able to find a solution that works for everyone! Good luck.

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D.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A., my name is D. and I have four boys of my own that I too breastfed. Co-sleeping is not a bad thing for you or for the baby. I did it with all four of my boys.I understand how your hubby wants your son to be in his own bed, but it really is okay for him to sleep with you. The letting him cry it out theory doesn't always work. At Kaden's age he is still trying to get used to his surroundings and he is establishing his sense of security. If you want to let him cry it out, then give him about 2-3 minutes of crying, then go in and pat his back to let him know you are there. Sometimes that is all he needs to know and it may be all he is looking for. You can try swaddling him up during the day for his naps and place him in his bassinet during the day. This way he can get use to sleeping in his bassinet again.

As for being tired when you nurse him at night, that is normal. There is a hormone in your breast milk that makes Kaden tired and to fall asleep, but the hormone also does the same for the mommy. It is much easier to turn on your side at night time and let him nurse because then he falls asleep and knows that you are right there. It is also comforting to you as well. Even though he is only 6 weeks old, getting him used to his own bed early is good.

I have found in my own experiences that breastfeeding babies have a lee-way time limit. What that means is that after he stops suckling your breast and the nipple leaves his mouth, you have about five minutes before he goes into a deeper sleep to where he can be moved to his bassinet without him waking up. After the five minute lee-way then Kaden can be placed in his bassinet and hopefully he will sleep there alone. During this lee-way time, he may try to grab your nipple again if you move or he may even make a sucking motion with his mouth during this time. All of this is normal, and it doesn't exactly mean that he is still hungry. If he sleeps in his bassinet for a longer period of time until he is hungry again, then try sitting up in your bed and nursing him. Keep him swaddled during the feeding and give him that five minutes of time to sleep deeper then after burping him, put him back into his bassinet.

I hope this helps you and your hubby.
D.

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J.L.

answers from Corvallis on

IS the bassinet in your room? IF not I would try moving it there. Another thing that I have been told works is put something of yours in it. They say your scent can help calm the baby. Maybe find a cd or stuffed animal that plays womb sounds (like your heartbeat). I know there is a stuffed animal that is called MAMA BEAR that plays this (its about $20). She has a volume and on off switch and also a velcro thingy on the back to hang so its not actually in with the baby.
Other than that I don't know what to suggest. I am sure there is some good advice from other moms. Hang in there and be patient!!

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R.L.

answers from Seattle on

Accidental co-sleeping happened to us too. We would put our son down (took forever to get him asleep enough) and after his first nursing he just stayed in bed. We did this until he was 13 months, when he started sleeping with us full-time. Much easier! My husband didn't want to try it because he was worried about having someone sleeping with us for years, but we set up a big-boy bed when he was two and after a few months he switched to that without any problems. We have an eight month old now that we're still trying to find the right sleep situation for.

One compromise you might try is a co-sleeper like Arm's Reach, it attaches to your bed and is a combination bassinet/playpen we used until my son could pull up/crawl. I also have friends who just securely fastened their crib to the bed so it was the right height and couldn't move. The baby could be next to you without being in the middle of the bed.

Also ask your husband to be involved in the nighttime duties if he isn't already. Tell him you have to feed the baby (and care for him during the day I'm guessing) and if he wants the baby in a bassinet then he can get him for you, burp him, etc. and then get him back to sleep. He might change his mind!

I agree with not crying it out, I could never do it. You don't have to resort to that. Hope you find some support, maybe a local Attachment Parenting group, and all start getting more sleep.

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

i co-slept for my own sanity. luckily my husband didn't care (until she started kicking him in the head :P). your husband probably doesn't realize how tired you are. if you can, pump milk and have your husband do the night feedings. it will give you some rest and give him an idea of what it's like for you.

when she was one and started sleeping horizontally on the bed, it was time for her to go. we i didn't have a hard time getting my daughter out of our bed. we just put her crib in our room for awhile and she was fine with that. she wasn't too happy about going to a big girl bed in her room tho.

for my second, she was so squirmy from the beginning that i couldn't sleep in the same room with her. she has always been in her own bed. we ended up getting a twin in her room and pushing it into the corner, then putting the crib against that so she was boxed in. i'd take her from her crib and feed her in the bed. of course i frequently passed out but it at least i was getting more sleep rather than sitting up in a chair nursing.

bottom line is that you need your rest, you've just got to figure out the best way to get it for you.

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

Why do you want him to sleep in a bassinet? My kids slept with us until they were about two and went into their "big boy beds". The hard part is getting them not to nurse so much through the nite- we had to switch first to milk in a bottle, then decrease the milk and add water. It worked. I'm glad the kids slept with us, now they are 5 and 7 and I miss those days.

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J.H.

answers from Richland on

Just my thoughts...I am mother to 4, and I also struggled with my babies sleeping in thier own place vs next to me.
Dont struggle with it! do what feels right to you, the bond and comfort and closeness that you feel with that baby you will never have again. When you are breastfeeding your body is constant response mode and sleeping together relaxes you and allows you to sleep as a natural response vs waiting for the baby to sleep then putting them to bed and having it not work and you having to get up again and comfort. Babies benifit from the closeness, they DO NOT get spoiled from closenss. they get spoiled by material things.
As for the husband...he does not feel what you are experiencing...he may be envous of the bond and time you spend with the baby, and well this wont last forever, it is a important time for you and baby. He needs to be supportive, a few months from now baby will sleep more and you will bolth feel like you get more sleep. Till then just do what feels right to you...make yourself happy and enjoy every minute...if you are stressing or sruggling...think about what feels natural and right..that is what will be the best for you...the mom.

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E.J.

answers from Seattle on

Co-sleeping just makes it SO much easier for a mom to get a little more sleep! Plus, listening to your baby cry is so stressful....if you can do something to make them cry less often, why not?
I remember my husband wasn't thrilled with the idea either and he was concerned that he might roll over onto the baby. So I just slept with the baby on my other side. I did this with both my girls (now 4 and 7).
I know you said you do this a lot accidentally, because you are just so tired that you fall asleep when nursing. You're not the only one! I know an awful lot of moms who thought they'd use a crib and ended up switching to co-sleeping because it just 'worked' better.
Maybe your husband would agree if it were just a short-term solution. As your baby gets older and sleeps longer, you can gradually try to move him to a bassinet. He may get easier to lay down without waking, and you'll also be a little more rested because you'll have had some longer stretches of sleep by that time.
I hope you can get your husband to come around...I know it's hard for some people to get into this idea if they think it's "wierd" or not the normal thing to do. I was lucky enough to have several friends who slept with their babies and my husband wasn't completely opposed to the idea.
I hate to say this, because it sounds so 'anti-dad', but I sort of feel like if you're the one doing the feeding, it sort of should be your choice how to do it!
That said, I do know of a woman who pumped milk so her husband could get up and help with feedings. That's one way around it, if your husband is willing. Of course, you'll have to get your baby to take a bottle, which may require a little time/work.
Whatever you end up doing, your baby is going to be fine because you love him and are trying to figure out what is best for him. That's the most important thing.
Enjoy your time with your little one...they grow up way too quick!
Lisa

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G.M.

answers from Seattle on

I was having sort of the same problem with my son and I found that he slept much better and for longer periods of time when placed on his stomach to sleep. You could try that. You can also try taking a shirt that you have worn all day and placing it under your son in his bed like a sheet. The smell of you on the shirt will help to comfort Kaden and make him feel safe and secure.

I hope this helps.
G. M

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G.R.

answers from Seattle on

My son slept with me until 6 mo and my husband wasn't very happy either. They have bassinets that you can attatch to the side of your bed. You might want to try that so that it is a gradual wean from being used to sleeping with you. Once he is used to that move him back to the seperate bassinet. Good luck! It's hard at any age once they get used to you sleeping with them.
G. R

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

baby just spent 9 months snuggled up tight in a warm cozy womb and now is out in the real world. It is a HUGE adjustment - try swaddling.

Baby is DEFINITELY TOO YOUNG for crying it out...

I am a big believer in the Happiest Baby on the Block. One of the concepts in ythat book is that the first 4 months or so are like a 4th trimester.

I have had 4 kids... for the first 4 months, I hold them as much as possible and they sleep with me all the time. Around 2 months they start to nap in their bouncy seat or bassinet. At 4 months they go to the crib in their room. I only bring them to bed with me if they wake in the middle of the night and will not fall back asleep in their crib. Once they are mobile, crawling etc... they no longer come to bed with me. This has worked well for all 4 kids and they are all happy well adjusted children who sleep in their own beds 90% of the time...

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

A.- Myu husband and I had the same problem and it only gets worse if you continue to wait till he falls asleep. With our son Chase he woudl only take naps in our arms up till he was 8 months old. We finally had to let him cry it out. I do not believe what you are doing is wrong at all, but in our situation it only made things harder. Kaden may not like his basinet. Babies can be picky. Try his crib for a couple of nights and you might be surprised.

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T.S.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter would not / could not sleep in her bassinet as a newborn either. I think when they are SO young they need and want to be near you. As your baby gets older, start having him nap (during the day) in his crib or bassinet or wherever you want him to learn to sleep at night. This will let him get used to it. I think my daughter was about 3 1/2 or 4 months old when we moved her into her crib at night. Up until then, she slept in our bed (so we all could get more rest) at night, but the crib, etc during the day. She just needed that transition time to get used to being not-so-near mom. :) Best of luck! And don't let anyone tell you it's bad to co-sleep (at least for a little while!)....they are BABIES for goodness sake and just came out of you!!!! Is it a surprise they want to be close! :) Your baby will transition slowly...just give him time. Take care!

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

A.,
It might just be a phase, I remember going through the same thing with my now 1 year old. We had one of those Bedside co-sleepers that sits right next to the bed with one side that drops down so its even with your mattress. It seemd to work if I layed her down and then patted or rubbed her back a little so she knew I was still right there. Hang in there.
~L.

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M.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,

I am affraid you have made a big mistake like I did in letting your son sleep with you. I have two kids my five year old who slept with us until she was three and my two year old who currently shares a king size bed with me and my husband. I can totaly relate to you because i breast fed both my kids and I know how hard it is two wake up every two hours to feed. I would also fall asleep while nursing so it became more easier for me to have my babies in the bed with me and just roll on my side when they got hungry, and my husband also did not like it but it my case it was easy to do what I wanted anyway because my husband was and is in the Navy and was gone a lot. If you really want to get your six week old sleeping on his own then you are just going to have to get up every two hours, but let me ask you this; are you one of those people who need atleast eight hours of sleep? because if you are then you are not going to make anybody happy if you are tired and grumpy all day. Also my doctor had told me that you should not let your baby cry so hard when they are just babies. When my son was a baby and I was trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet I let him cry for 15 minutes and he cried so hard that he bursted a blood vessel in his eye. Also little babies can get a hernia if they cry really hard, and I know it probably sounds dumb but it's the truth. In the end I think you should do what is easier for you and less stressful on your family. I understand that babies should sleep in their own bed, but for me it was easier just to nurse in my bed at night. I think six to nine months is a good time to let them cry and get them sleeping in their own bed, as for me we have moved twice last year and my stubborn two year old got used to sharing an air bed with us in the time that we were without our furniture that I am now just starting to wake up and take him back to his bed at night. Eventually he will stay in his bed all night and I am very happy that my husband has been understanding. Do whats right for you and I hope this helps.

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B.V.

answers from Anchorage on

That's a tough situation. I've co-slept with both my babies for multiple reasons. One, it felt natural, I couldn't bear the thought of my babies sleeping all alone after being so close to me for so long. Two, I could get better sleep. I now have a six month old, and a two year old. The two year old still climbs into our bed in the middle of the night, which is fine with us. The baby sleeps with us too. She seems to sleep better that way, which means I do too. I know (from experience) this may make it difficult to make the transition to their own beds, but I'm sure they will be in their own beds by the time they are teenagers ;). I'm a big fan of the family bed, attachment parenting. The big concerns are, if you are a heavy sleeper, and blankets ending up over the babies face. I am a light sleeper, and I check throughout the night for the blanket. If your husband is worried about intimacy, we put the babies down in the beginning of the evening, and use that time to be husband and wife. I use the swing for the baby during that time. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Seattle on

have your husband put him to sleep. he smells you and knows you are the food and comfort. Dad can become comfort but he will probably have it easier. Maybe you can go out for pie and decaff with a friend for the first bed time so that he has better success and you arent stressed out. I went through it alone at an older age with my son. Help is always good. If he is against you bringing the baby to bed he should have no problem supporting you by taking over a few days to get things changed around. Maybe he can even give a middle of the night feeding in a bottle to help you sleep longer. Happy babying

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J.A.

answers from Portland on

It sounds like we were in the same situation. I got a rocker and forced myself out of bed to feed. I found that helps alot, sometimes I even fell asleep in the rocker till the child woke up for the next feeding. Place a shirt that smells like you in the bassinet with the child, that may make hime or her think that you are still there. Hope these tips help.

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D.M.

answers from Portland on

Hello A.! My son is 5 months now, but I completely remember the 6-week no-sleep routine. One thing that we learned about our son, is that he slept better when he wasn't laying flat. We began using the Boppy pillow and cradling him into it. This created a bit more angle, and also snuggled him and was more comfortable. Also, they digest better when they aren't sleeping flat on their backs. Strangly enough, we even had a period of time where we would actually place him in his carseat at night and he began sleeping 3-5 hours, sometimes more. I hope this helps and gives you some ideas. I feel your pain!

-D.

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I.M.

answers from Portland on

We tried using a warm rice bag laid flat in the bed and just snuggled the baby up to it of laid him straight on itfor a few months and that worked fabulously. We have used that trick for three baby boys so far.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

It sounds like your little one is not ready yet to sleep alone. While there are many philosophies out there, CIO doesn't seem to work in my mind, especially for one so little. Little babies cry for a reason. Try reading this quick article: http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm.

Is it possible to convince your husband to stick it out with the co-sleeping a bit longer? Obviously he's not into the bassinette so it will solve several problems 1. not having Kaden cry and feel abandoned 2. getting everyone some much-needed sleep. It doesn't have to be forever, maybe he just needs it right now.

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T.B.

answers from Medford on

They make these wonderful half cribs now that go right up next to your bed. I would try that. I have never been tough enough to let them cry it out. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Portland on

This sounds like a complicated issue. my best advice is to read the baby whisperer by tracy hogg. she will offer many solutions that do NOT involve crying it out! good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the "Happiest Baby on the Block" philosophy. Crying-it-out is cruel. All your sweet little baby wants is to be with you. That is what nature intended!!! I didn't intend to cosleep either, but am cosleeping (happily) now with my almost 4-month old. You just need to follow the proper precautions. I am almost finished reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which I would recommend- it's helpful. But I doubt you're ready to read yet if your baby is only 6 wks old. Remember it for a few months from now....
Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

The baby probably loves the body heat and the sound of your heartbeat!!! Try placing a hot water bottle in the bassinet next to him, use it as the bumper to keep him on his side. Don't make it too warm. The co-sleeping is as much a comfort for the baby as it is for you. I know, been there, done that with all 3 of my kids when they were babes, and the youngest is now 17. The warmth of the water bottle will help. You could even try one of those press on heat wraps in a blanket to prevent it from being too warm if the water bottle presents a concern. At one time, there was a teddy bear that had a heartbeat sound in it that was intended to be placed in a crib to soothe a baby. Try Babies R Us or a baby speciality store, they might have one. My babies' favorite place to sleep was on my chest or my husband's. It's a safe and comforting place, regardless of age. Take good care and enjoy these moments, they race by much too soon.

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L.U.

answers from Richland on

It's all about the body warmth that he feels next to you or on top of you. I took a heating pad and put it under a towel under the sheets of my daughters bassinet. Worked like a charm. Just keep it on low.

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J.K.

answers from Seattle on

Dear A.:

To maintain harmony in my family,
we bought a twin bed. When our baby
would wake up, I would just take him
into the twin bed to nurse and sleep
with him for the rest of the night.
That way, everyone was getting their
needs met.

I personally do not believe in the
"cry it out" method. We are already
a society that is forcing its children
to grow up too soon. Crying is a baby's
only method of communication. By ignoring
a baby's cries, we are teaching them that
the world is a cold, cruel place where they
should not expect to get their needs met.
Babies whose cries are responded to in a
timely manner are more secure and cry less
because they have the assurance that their
needs will be met.

Of course the more time we spend with our
babies, the more in tune we are to them
and their needs. If we can anticipate their
needs in advance, (i.e. tired, hungry, lonely,
wet, etc.) then they have less of a need to cry.

We adults want to have our needs met before we
reach a point of desperation and have to "cry out"
for help. Should we show our babies and young children
any less consideration???

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C.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,

I'm a mom of 4 & did the same thing with my first! Try putting your baby in his crib in his own room. What i found is that babies stir so much during their sleep, that he'll sleep more soundly in their own space. I was waking up at the littlest noise, thinking he was hungry, when it turns out, that's just what babies do. Good luck! It's worked for me on all 4 kids -in fact, my last 2 slept through the night by 2 months!

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T.P.

answers from Seattle on

When your son wakes up in the night to feed instead of lying in bed with him go somewere else. I would take my son to a chair and feed him then rock him back to sleep when he was done. Ya just plopping them into bed with you is easier but most often you will fall asleep and could roll over on them. Now you may be thinking that I am to tired to physically get out of bed everytime he wants to eat, but the habbit you are creating for him now will end up costing you sleep later. I know a lot of mothers who have children that have slept with them up to age 6. Imagine what that will do to a husband and wifes relationship. Even if you have to loose a little sleep to get him back to sleep and in his own bed it will payoff later. It seems hard now but they grow so fast and it wont be long before they are sleeping through the night and when that time comes wouldn't you rather have it be in thier own bed. Good luck.

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T.L.

answers from Seattle on

A.,
When my daughter was born almost 14 months ago I had no intentions of co sleeping. It was very important to me to breatsfeed and after a few months of being very tired after getting up every few hours to nurse I started bringing her into our bed. after I got the techniques down on nursing while I was still laying down my life became SO much easier. I barely had to wake up to nurse the baby and I was getting more sleep and was so much more with it during the day. My daughter loves sleeping with us and sleeps better herslef. I have had friends tell me to try the cry it out method to get her back in her crib but I just can't do it. I really believe that babies cry for a reason and having her know that I will respond to her cry during the first year was also really important to me. The solution that we came up with was to buy a bigger bed! We all have plenty of room and when my husband and I want alone time in bed we sneek off to the guest room. It works for us. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I co-slept with my daughter for the same exact reason. She always screamed if I put her down anywhere else... no matter what. We tried the cry-it-out method a few times at the recomendation of family and doctor, but she too just screamed for hours until I finally gave in. We also tried every no cry method we could find. My daughter was just terrified to be alone. We made peace with her sleeping with us and learned to enjoy it. There is nothing sweeter than holding a sleeping baby. There are safer ways to co-sleep that maybe your husband can be comfortable with. There is an Arms Reach co-sleeper that keeps them in thier own bed but you can still cuddle. You can do away with all but one pillow each and limit blankets (but that's harder to do). We bought a contoured dresser top changing pad and the flannel sheets to go over it and placed that on the bed between us. She was close enough to nurse and cuddle, but in her own bed and she could not roll over off the pad because it had high sides. When nursing, I just smashed one side down and laid on it. Bonus to this solution is that you can lift up the whole pad and move it out of the room without waking baby if you want.

If you can afford it, the Arms Reach co-sleeper is the best option.

Beware, that it does not get easier to kick them out of your bed the older they get. We tried every six months or so to get my daughter in her own bed. By 18 months, she could go to sleep in her own bed, but was in mine by midnight. It was not until 4 years old that we were able to get her out completely.

We were determined to do differently with my second child, and found that keeping him swaddled tighly helped him sleep longer, made him feel safe sleeping alone, and made it easy to move him after he fell asleep without waking him. They sell swaddling blankets that velcro shut tight pretty cheap at Walmart (or anywhere else). He is now 18 months, has not slept a day in my bed and absolutely loves his own bed.

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

This sounds very familiar to me. I have a 4 month old son that did exactly the same thing at 6 weeks. Whenever I put him down in the bassinet he would wake up. I talked to his pediatrician about the length of time to let him cry and she said at his young age only to let him cry for 5 to 10 minutes ( we did a little longer on a couple of occasions) However this didn't work for us at all. I couldn't stand listening to him cry it made me feel so guilty and he ended up always needing to be picked up anyways. So we began to notice a few things about our son... we noticed that he would wake up every time we turned the light off in our room and that he was very sensitive to our sounds (even just the sound of our sheets rustling when I would get back into the bed. So even though I was unsure about it we ended up putting him in his crib in his own room at about 7 weeks. We left the light slightly on (dimmed way down). What an amazing difference it made... he went from constantly waking in the night to consistantly sleeping 4 hours at a time. In addition to the light on we now have a rain machine ( makes the sound of rain)in his room and he is now sleeping from 9:00pm until 8 or 9 in the morning with just one feeding at around 11:30pm.. He has been doing this since about 12 weeks old. Good luck and remember to take your naps during the day if he is up all night. It does get better!!

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D.W.

answers from Portland on

That is pretty young to make them cry it out the first three months you should not worry about it your baby needs that closeness. I breastfed all of my boys and at three months started putting them in their beds don't rush it. he is used to being all nestled up and protected in your whome.

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L.T.

answers from Seattle on

i did the EXACT same thing! I just kept putting him back in his bassinet after calming him down, I also found that he liked to be swaddled fairly tightly and prefered to sleep on his side. Places like target or walmart have the vented supports so that your baby won't roll over on his tummy and are pretty good to use until they get to big and like to turn on their own. hope it works out for you! L.

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R.L.

answers from Portland on

He's too young! I bet that was really hard trying to let him cry it out. It's so easy to fall asleep while feeding (and my significant other tells me it makes for a funny picture sometimes). My son is 17 weeks and the books I've read say it's still too early to let him cry it out. Our babies are still at an age where, if they're crying, they need something. I absolutely see no harm in co-sleeping while your son is still so young. I did it (also not purposely) and now he prefers to sleep on his own. Unless it's causing a major concern for you or your husband, don't worry about co-sleeping this early. Good luck!

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

A., I think that Kaden may be too young to cry it out. From what I understand, this method (if you choose to try it) is more successful after your baby is at least several months old. And, I believe it is a graduated approach (i.e 5 min of crying at a time to start out with). If Kaden and you want to co-sleep, maybe discussing the benefits with your husband would be appropriate (visit Dr. Sears' website for a description of benefits). Otherwise, you could try a co-sleeper, such as Arm's Reach which attaches to the side of the bed. In my experience, it is easier to get my son, who is 6 months, into the crib without crying if I don't nurse him in bed. I have to nurse him in my rocking chair and then put him in bed when he is asleep. I hope this helps.

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L.P.

answers from Seattle on

Dear A. O
If your husband doesn't want the baby to sleep with you in bed you can always move the bassinet closer to your side of the bed where you can touch him and he is awhere that you are there. This might work. My son was like that and I would pat him lightly on his back or bottom until he fell back to sleep. When he was 18 months to 2years old I would kneel beside his bed and pat him until he fell asleep and I would also fall to sleep most of the time. I would then get up and go to my bed. I guess some babies need that extra reasurance that you are there near them.

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S.R.

answers from Portland on

I have a baby born 11/16 and he still wakes up several times a night to nurse. I am able to put him in a bassinet, but I think that is only because I swaddle him. Are you swaddling? I actually stopped around 4 weeks, but started up again and will probably continue until he starts to roll over. I do a two blanket swaddle and the first one is something called bat wings, it really keeps his arms from sneaking out. He loves it and it really calms him down and helps him sleep. If you are interested I can give you more information on how to do the bat wings.

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D.B.

answers from Seattle on

A vibrating bear helps ALOT.

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C.F.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A., My first child had no idea what to do, 2nd and 3rd I would nurse in the night, swaddle in a blanket and then use the velcro swaddle wrap so they could not squirm out. I would then place them in the car seat so they were at an angle and then wedge the car seat in a laundry basket so it was level with my bed. Both of them were so cozy and propped up and I could sleep with my hand on them. It worked wonders and they would sleep longer between feedings. I was always so scared of rolling over the baby or dropping them so I can understand not wanting a baby in the bed. Best wishes

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

with both my boys (now 4 1/2 and nearly 1) I became a "co-sleeper" because I was so tired with the nightly waking. I think lots of parents are worried their kids will never sleep in their own beds if they share their bed. not true. I don't think my hubbie was crazy about the baby in the bed with us, but since I was the one taking care of the baby, I had the final say ;-) He thought it would be difficult to have the baby move to sleep on his own.

The way it works for us is, I began to put the baby in the crib when I wasn't tired, then I could get up and tend to him and let him know, even though it's a new arrangement, I was still there and would comfort him. Nap times are good for this.

My youngest wasn't too keen on falling asleep without being hook-up, but fell asleep in his car seat often, so I would strap him in after his bedtime feeding and sit with him until he fell asleep looking at me. Then we moved to putting him in the crib after he was asleep, now even if he is awake when he is done nursing, he goes to sleep in a couple minutes and sometimes doesn't wake until 0800 the next morning.

Things to remember:
if the baby feels safe he will enjoy what is happening. If he is scared or otherwise uncomfortable, he will fuss.

By comforting and easing the baby into something new, you are not creating a dependent child, on the contrary, the more you are there when the baby needs you, the more confident he will become.

an EXCELLENT help source is
http://www.askdrsears.com/

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S.H.

answers from Seattle on

You could still let him cry it out, but only in short spans... Probably not a good idea to let him cry for more than 10-15 minutes. Go back and reassure him that you are there and that you do love him... settle him down and then place him back in his bassinette. Rub his tummy for a few minutes after you put him down and let him see that you are still there, then take your hand off of him and stay put. Let him see that you don't have to be touching him to still be there. Eventually he will fall asleep and feel safe, knowing that even though you aren't holding him, you're still there. Consistence is the key with this. Of course, I don't think there's anything wrong with co-sleeping until you're both ready for him to be sleeping on his own. My one year old son sleeps in our room with us in his crib, but won't go to sleep unless he sees me lying down in my bed from where he lays. He is our third boy and we also have a daughter. Hope this helps.

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

I had twins with the exact same problem. We could never let them cry it out either and are glad we didn't. My husband and I found some small bags filled with rice that are to be used as heatpacks or coldpacks. (Look for them at your local pharmacy.) When I would nurse them through the night, my husband would get up and warm up the rice bags in the microwave, and them place them in the crib. The bags would warm the bed. Then when I place the girls back to the crib, it would be warm and they could also be near the warm rice bag and they would stay in the crib! (until their next feeding.) This also worked with my son.

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B.W.

answers from Seattle on

How close is the bassinet to where you sleep? I'm a believer in attachment parenting and careful co-sleeping and firmly against the "crying it out" philosophy. If you're husband doesn't want baby in bed, for whatever reason, you'll have to find another solution. My thought is that if the bassinet isn't close enough, perhaps you could move it closer. Or invest in an Arm's Reach co-sleeper as someone else said. It connects to the side of your bed, can be adjusted to be at exactly the same height as your bed, and then baby is virtually in your bed, right next to you, but not IN your bed. Hopefully this would suit all parties. We have one and I love it. And you still may have many sleepless nights ahead regardless--my baby is almost 8 months old and regularly still wakes up 2-5 times a night. :( But as they say, this too shall pass (or that's what I tell myself). Good luck! And sweet (but short) dreams!

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

It was hard for me to stay awake when nursing at night too. With all three of my babies I solved the problem, at least sometimes, by sitting up while I fed them. I always make sure they are secure on a nursing pillow just in case I fell asleep so they wouldn't roll off the bed. It was even easier to stay awake if I moved out to the living room and nursed on the sofa. Co-sleeping is fine for some, but for me I always was too concerned about the baby getting too warm or getting too far under the covers or a pillow. Also, it tended to become an all night snack bar if I laid down to let them nurse :) As far as crying it out, 6 weeks might be too young for him to do that, from my experience anyway. Hopefully this helps a little.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

I feel your pain! I went through similar nights with my son who is now 2. I have realized sometimes it won't matter what you do. Babies cry, babies wake up at night and babies are hard to figure out!
At the end of the day all they need is love and all you need is a nap! Sleep when he sleeps during the day, get xtra sleep when your husband is around.
I know it's hard but something that helped me get through it (it wont last forever I promise!) is saying "this too shall pass!"

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A.E.

answers from Yakima on

I had the same problem with my first child. My second is totally different. BUT, when I had Lilly she always wanted to eat and would only sleep in small spurts. I truely think at a young age you need to pick them up and not ahve them cry it out because when you pick them up you are letting them feel safe and secure which will lead to a more secure person later in life. I would feed Lilly and always fall asleep. she would either be on me or beside me and when I tried to put her down she would wake up and CRY, CRY, CRY! Keep in mind that every child is different and this may be what they need. My husband was always afraid of rolling over on Lilly. It never happened but it has to other people. They have little barriers that you can buy to put in the middle so you don't roll onto the baby if this is an issue. Babies really need that safe and secure feeling when they sleep and pretty much all the time. try to make sure that Kaden is getting really full when you feed him which I know is hard when you yourself are so tired and fall asleep. You can check to see if they are full pull lifting an arm up...if they resist they are still hungry if they don't resist at all they are full. It sounds crazy but it works like a charm. I have used this on both my kids. Owen (2 1/2 months) is notorious for falling asleep while eating so I use this a lot with him. It really helps. Don't forget that your sleep is really important and if co-sleeping is getting you a little bit of sleep then do it. Just try once and awhile to transfer Kaden back to a crib or bassinet. One night you will eventually gat lucky. Make sure that he gets his naps in in the bassinet or crib. I made the mistake with Lilly by not doing that. I let her sleep everywhere but in her crib. I hope some of this helps.

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K.M.

answers from Portland on

I'm not sure if he's too big, but have you tried swaddling? There is a super nice wrap out there from Kiddopotomous (sp?) called 'Swaddle me' with velcro flaps that we used a ton. My littlest also slept a lot in the swing after the 3-4am feeding since she didn't seem ready to go back to sleep, but I was! It was a portable swing, which was really convienent.
Do you use pacifiers? Those helped us too.
Good luck! Hope some of this helps!
K.

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K.Z.

answers from Portland on

Too young for CIO. But I don't believe a child should EVER be left to cry alone! They cry for a reason. If you ignore their needs this early, you are only teaching a child that his needs are not important (he internalizes that HE is not important) and that sets you up for a lifetime of struggles.

Why is your husband so against co-sleeping? Is he a deep sleeper who is worried he would roll onto the baby and not wake up? If so, you should take this into consideration and probably not allow your baby to sleep between you and DH. Even in that case, you could still co-sleep in another bed. Or look at getting a co-sleeper or setting up a crib without the side rail right next to your side of the bed. But that is for later, he is still so young and needs to sleep with his mama.

Beyond that, go with your instincts. If baby sleeps well next to you, then sleep with him next to you. BFing is easier and he'll sleep better and be more content during the days too. What is the resistance people have with co-sleeping? It is the most natural thing animals do and yet our society (in US) shuns it. Most cultures around the world do this! Look around, read up on it. Most of the world mothers breastfeed their kids until they are 2 or self wean. If "everyone you know" says to let the baby CIO (OMG he is way too young for this!!!) and you are not comfortable with that, fin some new friends. I'm not saying abandon your current friends, just find a group that can support your efforts. Read Dr Sears books and look up Attachment Parenting online, there are groups all over the place that meet in person and have online discussions.

Please respond to your newborn and meet his needs. That is the start of a mutually respectful relationship.

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B.P.

answers from Seattle on

I'm thinking it is nice and warm in your bed and not in the bassinet. Make sure his blanket is under your covers to get warm with him and even wrap him tightly in it when you put him down. Make sure the basinet isn't harder than your matress too. It has been a long time since my kids were babies, but I still hear from doctors that cosleeping is a danger to the child.

Recently a study done by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) claimed that many deaths of infants were caused by sleeping in bed with their parents.

This alone would be enough to not want to cosleep. A little body like that can so easily be crushed. I am a light sleeper, but there are so many who are not.

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M.B.

answers from Seattle on

You need to check with your pediatrician to see if your baby is getting enough milk at each feeding - sounds like you are short or milk supply -

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L.B.

answers from Seattle on

We got a cd of white noise from a friend of ours who swore by it. Basically it is the sound that babies hear while in the womb. We brought out little speakers and hooked them up to a dedicated cd player with this cd and it was like magic. It only plays for an hour, but it is just enough to get them to sleep if played softly, and a lot of times they don't wake up when it turns off. Our son, who is now 8 months and just goes like a freight train all the time, is relieved to hear the white noise at nap time. It reminds him to slow down and try to sleep.

Hope that helps!

L. in seattle

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

I had a similar experience when my daughter was younger (now 9 months) then a friend asked if I was still swaddling her and we had kind of stopped. Once I started swaddling her again she slept much better in her bassinet between feedings.

Regarding co-sleeping, I never thought I would be a proponent of it but once we had our daughter I learned the many benefits of co-sleeping -- including reducing the risk for sids. The Wall Street Journal even had a positive article about it (from the Dad's perspective). For 6 months we enjoyed our co-sleeping family then slowly transitioned her to her crib in her own room.

Hope this is helpful

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L.B.

answers from Seattle on

Dear A., I've so been there. I know you must be so exhausted. Have you heard of a book called Babywise? Dr. Ezo is the author. He's a bit extreme in some of his advice (He's a no pacifier, don't rock your baby to sleep guy- I ingore that stuff) HOWEVER...his teaching regarding Parent directed feedings (feed, wake, sleep scheduling) absolutely is a God send. My first baby was a co sleeper and breastfed on demand. He didn't truely sleep through the night until he was 2 years old! Seriously! My second two babies I used the feed-wake-sleep scheduling and daughter slept throught the night at 8 weeks. My youngest son slept through at 10 weeks. People also always told me I had such "happy" babies. I believe it was because of their schedule. They knew what to expect and I learned their cries. Although difficult especially with your first baby, letting them cry it out for a reasonable amount of time is okay.
You can get Babywise at Borders I think. I hope this helps you and your husband and your baby get the sleep you all need.

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R.H.

answers from Seattle on

I know this isn't what you are use to, but have you ever tried swaddling him when you put him to sleep? We swaddled our son (I am a first time mommy also) the very first day we took him home. He absolutely loved it. He would wake up and cry a little when he was hungry, I would feed him (and force myself to stay awake), and then swaddle him back up and he would go right back to sleep. It is just a suggestion. It can't hurt. :)

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

I co slept w/both of my boys...for many reasons, convienience being one of them. My youngest didnt' sleep for more than a couple of hours for almost 6 months. It seemed unending at the time, but it did pass. My son learned to sleep in his bed over time. Have you tried the bouncy seat or swing? I personally don't think it is detrimental to co sleep during this precious time. I know it seems like it will go on forever, but they do grow and cuddle times decrease. As much as you can, enjoy this time and bond w/your son. I wouldn't let him cry more than 10-15 mins either.

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A.G.

answers from Portland on

I think it is really common for young babies to have their best sleep on or with a parent. My son (who is 7 months now) slept in his bassinet for a while when he was first born and then preferred to sleep in my arms or with me in bed for naps for several months. At night, he slept in his own bed in our room, but we also felt we had to wait until he was completely asleep before putting him down. In my experience, this does change after a while--they get less touchy about waking up when they are put down and they also get less needy about sleeping right next to you. My advice (take it with a grain of salt) is to wait until you feel ike he is old enough to sleep on his own, in his own room, without easy access to you and to food before you try to cry it out. Most of the books recommend waiting until at least 3 months if your child doesn't do the putting himself to sleep thing on his/her own. I waited until 6 months and then the "gradual extinction" method worked within a few days (we let him cry but stayed with him in the room until he was asleep for several days). At 7 months, he goes to sleep on his own. Even though he is sleeping on you a lot right now, that is still important sleep training and it's important for him to feel attached to you and to your husband. If your husband just can't deal with it, then let your baby sleep on or with you during the day and start training him to sleep on his own at night--maybe in his own room? Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Babies go through growth spurt when they need to nurse more. Six weeks is one of those times so in a normal time when he would go back to sleep, he will need more right away for the next few days until your milk supply catches up to his need.
I was not successful with crying it out so I can't give advice on that.
Some people have chosen to sleep somewhere else in the middle of the night so you can co-sleep until you start introducing foods (six months).
Perhaps having a warm water bottle next to him in the bassinet so he feels like someone is next to him would be helpful for part of the night.
A conversation with your husband about why he is so against co-sleeping (if you don't already know) and see if there is room for compromise for a few months until you agree to try again together to assist Kaden with sleeping through the night.
And last but not least try putting him down in different positions to see if he likes certain positions better.

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H.M.

answers from Portland on

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. This book will give you lots of great ideas on how to get your baby to sleep better and the appropriate age to try different strategies. I feel that 6 weeks is too young for the cry it out method so don't feel bad about giving it up. Most people agree that you should wait until 4-6 months before allowing a child to cry themselves to sleep. I still consult this book often and have found it very helpful. It is a bit disorganized but the information is good. You can also read a lot about Dr. Weissbluth's sleep recommendations by just putting his name into Google. Having some good ideas and things to try can make a huge difference when you're feeling helpless in the baby sleep battle.
Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,

We found that our son was cold when we put him into the bassinet, which we kept beside our bed. He continually wanted to nurse, every hour and a half or so and I was going crazy! We finally realized that he needed to be swaddled and kept very warm. He was born 7 weeks early and did not have enough "meat" on his bones to keep him warm. Hope this helps!
C.

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

I just had my baby girl on 12-24-07. Have to say i get sleeply on the night feedings to. And i also fall asleep with her beside me. What i started to do. I made myself stay awake very hard sometimes. Then i moved her and made her take a pacifier. What i meen by made her take. She would spit it out. So i would hold it in her month till she relly started useing it. That made it so she would fall asleep again in her bed. I also had her bed right next to the bed. So i would also leave my hand on her till i was asleep. Hope that this helps. And i do think that it is way to young to let him cry it out. Just to let you know that this is my secound child. I did about the same thing with her.

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H.H.

answers from Portland on

The same thing happened with us. My girl is now 6 1/2 mos old, but we also started out as "accidental" co-sleepers mostly because we were lazy and didn't want to trek to another room just to feed her. Everything I was told is that the first 2 months don't count, meaning: don't try so hard to get your babe on a sleep plan because he's still too young, do whatever works for you all and will keep your sanity. After that time you can start working on a sleep plan that works for you. It took us a long time, with very slow transitions from the bed to the bassinet and eventually to the crib when she outgrew the bassinet.
Good luck and best wishes for some sleep

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A.F.

answers from Richland on

Hi
I just came back from helping my niece after she had her second baby and she was having much the same problem.
I suggested that she put a tee shir or something that she wore in the bassinet with the baby and maybe an old alarm clock that ticks. The baby came still smell his mother with the tee shirt and if you can find some thing that can take the place of your heart beat sometime this helps.
Good luck,
A. F

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

I had the exact same problem when my daughter was 6 weeks old (she's now 3 months). We had one of those co-sleepers that attaches to the bed and she hated it. She would usually sleep in the car seat and then in bed next to me, which made my husband uncomfortable. The other problem we were having was that I don't have a great milk supply, so she never seemed satisfied and had a very hard time falling asleep. At 6 weeks, I started putting her to bed in her crib in her own room. I would put a sleep sack on her then nurse her, then give her a bottle of expressed breat milk and/or formula. That got her tummy full and she was able to fall asleep fairly quickly. I agree that at this age you don't want to let them cry more than a few minutes. Sometimes they need a few minutes to cry before falling asleep, but not more than 5-10 minutes I would say. If you decide to give him a bottle like we did, you do need to be careful about your milk supply. I pump every night after I put her to bed. Good luck!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

What does your husband have against it? It's very natural and allowed me much more sleep since I didn't have to get up and down every couple of hours for feedings. The instances of babies being smothered by sleeping parents are almost exclusively because the parents were drunk, stoned, and/or sleeping with baby on the couch. There are "cosleepers" that can fit to the side of the bed, at the level of the bed so that baby can be more or less next to you but not in bed with with you. My second son didn't like sleeping next to me or being flat, and we finally figured out that he liked being cradled in a car seat, so we put him in the car seat in the cosleeper next to the bed - and finally started to get some sleep at night.

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E.K.

answers from Flagstaff on

I agree with the moms who say he is too young for CIO. In my opinion, there isn't an age where it's ok to let them CIO. I know some moms who have independent babies, who only had to let them CIO for about 5-10 minutes like, 3 times and then they were sleeping through the night. But those are rare. And every baby is different. And the studies show it just breeds insecurity. It just teaches them that you won't be there when they need you. My daughter is one year older than your son. She has always been a very attached baby. Wouldn't take naps unless held, needed to sleep not near us, but on us, for the first few months. Then it was next to us, then it was in her own space, but on the same bed. And I let her make those transitions. And she is a very happy, independent little girl, who has never cried more than 5 minutes in her life. I am sorry that your husband is very against your mothering instincts to take care of your son. You can tell him that statistically speaking, it is safer to have your baby in your bed than in a crib. We are the only society that puts our kids in cages to sleep. All other societies know how important it is to have your babies close to you when they sleep. Now, if you or your husband are exceptionally heavy sleepers, then take that into account. But I still BF my daughter, and every night is different. Sometimes she'll only wake up 3 or 4 times to eat during her 11 hour sleep. Sometimes, if she is teething or uncomfortable, it'll be every 1-2 hours. I'm exhausted. And I've been tempted to let her CIO, but I reason that I don't is because her overall emotional health and well being is more important than my sleep for now. Soon we'll be getting her a toddler mattress and putting it on the floor next to our bed so she can have more of her own space. Eventually, she will sleep in her own space and eventually her own room. They don't stay this age forever. And it's typical for babies not to sleep through the night until they're after 2 years old. Most of them are teething on and off until then anyways.
Your baby is crying because he needs to be close to you. If you need to move around when he takes naps, try some carriers. I suggest wraps at this age. Try a Baby Bundler or a Moby. If you need support or help finding one, there is a lot of information on www.thebabywearer.com. Babies who are worn for a few hours every day cry something like 40% less than those who aren't. Check it out on www.askdrsears.com.

Most importantly, listen to your mothering instincts, and don't let anyone tell you how to take care of your baby. If your husband is unhappy, he can go sleep in a different bed for now. Take care of your baby. Trust yourself. Good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Eugene on

Hi A.,
A baby goes through growth spurts around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. At this time, they want to drink/nurse a lot and it is great because they naturally build up the mother's milk supply so that when they grow, she is producing enough milk to satisfy the needs of the baby. You may be experiencing an overwhelming amount of feedings and longer feedings right now if your baby Kaden is growing. La Lech League is a great group to join or call on information about breastfeeding and parenting in general. You could try feeding Kaden with breastmilk or formula (whatever you already do) every 2 hours during the day, this should make longer sleeping times in the night. The idea is to fullfill all of the nutrient/caloric needs during the day and then they don't need to wake up in the night as often. 4 hour sleep times in the night is great for a 6 week old. If you are breastfeeding, your milk is so easily digested that a baby that young needs a refuel and can't go for 8 hours without more milk. I often wonder about these people who say to cry it out. What does that teach a 6 week old that only knows how to cry to get their needs met. Only you know what is best for your child and your home. LOVE (reassurance, cuddles, nutrition) is what we all need. Letting your 6 week old baby cry it out is not love. The baby is wondering, where is my mom. Will anyone come when I need them? They can't logically think, "Oh it is dark outside, mom and dad do not want to deal with me at night, I better not cry and disturb them." What happens when you let your child scream and cry, is the next time they need something the cry will go to that high escalation in the first attempt to get your attention, rather than a subtle fus. Parents who are in tune with their children have babies that rarely have gut curdling screams or cries. They are content because they feel loved and their needs are met. Babies need to be held, when they cry they need love, love, love. We are one of the only countries that have a seperate room for our babies. It is a sacrifice, especially the first year of a babies life. Yet, this is the beginning of a relationship that should be built on trust. This is the time to build a foundation with your child (bond). Good luck. T.

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S.F.

answers from Eugene on

The hardest thing you will ever do is to let your child cry through until he is comfortable getting himself back to sleep. At this time I would agree that he is too young to let cry it out.

When he wakes up between feedings rock him with a pacifier. Another thing to try is to swaddle him. He is still young enough that he wants the warmth and comfort of the closeness with you. I had to walk with my first one. She refused to stay asleep in her bed. I was terrified of co-sleeping so I rocked and sang for many nights.

Good luck.

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E.A.

answers from Portland on

Hi A.. I personally feel that 6 weeks is way too young to CIO. A baby that young has basic needs that need to be met. He is not old enough to be "manipulating" you or learning how to press your buttons like crying until you pick him up. He is just communicating his need that he needs to be close to his momma's warm body. And so you should give that to him!!
I know it is extraordinarily difficult to be up all hours of the night caring for a newborn. It takes a huge toll on you personally as well as your marraige. Just remind yourself that there WILL be an end to the night time feedings. Sleep will return for you.....I promise! Until that happens, you should remind your DH that your young child NEEDS his momma to be there next to him while he is so young. Maybe you can try sleeping in another room with the baby? If your DH doesn't like that idea, well then, honestly, I think he needs to be reminded that you are dealing with a helpless young baby who spent nine months in a warm, soothing environment and it's going to take some time before he is able and ready to be more independent from mom. Co-sleeping with him now will NOT create a child who will be sleeping with mom and dad at 6 or even 2 years old. He just needs his momma right now and I think his momma needs him just as much. Follow your gut because it's leading you in the right direction. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Please do not let your baby cry it out. Even the experts agree that 6 weeks is way too young!!! Crying is their only form of communication and if you as his mother do not respond to those cries he is going to feel abandoned. I'm not trying to be mean but he is 6 weeks old and needs to be with you, near you. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping when done properly. Check out www.askdrsears.com for co sleeping safety. Follow your instincts and you will be fine. If something doesn't feel right then don't do it. Only you can know what is best for you and your baby.

If you do decide to cry it out when your child is order I implore you to read as much as you can about this. Those who promote it say not to start until 6 mths of age. Even then I feel it is way too young. Al of my children have co slept and never cried it out.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

A....drop everything you're doing today, go to the bookstore and buy the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp, MD. It will fix everything and make perfect sense. I promise. It's the only gift I give at baby showers now.

I do agree that 6 weeks is too young for cry it out, and I'm actually a fan of cry it out. But your baby will go through a phase around 5-6 months where he quits sleeping through the night again and that's when you should try cry it out. I also think getting him out of your bed is a good thing (it will only be WAY harder to do later) although I'm sure you'll get lots of responses saying co-sleeping is wonderful, etc. It's just my opinion.

Good luck!

L.

P.S. I'm a 38 year old sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls. I've been married 11 years. Both girls are excellent sleepers thanks to my Happiest Baby book.

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J.R.

answers from Eugene on

Co-sleeping is very natual and healthy for babies. They love the closeness and the re-assurance that it provides. There are so many benifits of co-sleeping including less chance of SIDS as the baby remembers to breathe by hearing your breathing. check out cosleeping.org with your husband so he can see the benefits of it as well. Your baby is only this young once so make the most of it and enjoy this special bonding time. Enjoy! : )

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J.H.

answers from Anchorage on

Dont' let him cry it out yet- he's too young. Both my boys wanted to be held all the time, including nights. By 3 mos though they were pretty much sleeping by themselves through most of the night (waking once or twice to eat). You should ask your husband to stick it out a few more weeks and just keep trying to put the baby down by himself. He (the baby) will get used to it.

We did a lot of traveling with them when they were young and I discovered that having them sleep in their car seat helped a lot. It's pretty cozy for them and you can put in a blanket that has your scent on it so they feel like they're being held by you. Plus it helps with reflux/digestion. We just put the car seat in their crib or on the floor.

PS- I have a 14 week old now. I'm very familiar with being so tired I fall asleep while feeding the baby! It will get better very soon! Hang in there!

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

I found that when both of my daughters were switched from next to me (warm) to back in their bed (cold) they would fuss too-- so my solution was to make them baby sleeping bags-- just long enough to go behind their heads in the back, but not so high that if they slipped down it could suffocate them for the front part. I had a december baby-- so her bag was fleece, and a May baby-- so hers was cotton. I would only put them in it to nurse, and they got so that when I slipped them into it they would wiggle with joy because they knew that it was chow time! I know you're then supposed to play with them after eating, but in the middle of the night I'd just put them back into the bassinet and later the crib-- also, I noticed they slept better when the head of the bassinet was slightly elevated, so I put a rolled up blanket under the mattress to prop it up slightly-- not so flat. Maybe that will help?!?! Good luck-- be happy to have a good eater and remember, they're only little once... hang in there!

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C.M.

answers from Bellingham on

have you considered getting a special "co-sleeper" bassinet that connects to your bed? That way your little guy is not technically in your bed, but he is still within arms reach, meaning you could even keep your hand on him if it helps him to feel secure, and you would still be able to get some sleep. I haven't personally tried it, but I plan to if we have a second baby.

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.-
I went through the same thing with my son who is now 1 1/2 yrs. My daughter was easy so I thought it would be the same way with my son! When he was an infant and would fall asleep after nursing, I would often let him sleep with me so I could get some sleep...he always seemed to wake up when I layed him in his bassinet. We moved him from his bassinet in our room to his own crib in his own room when he was about 4 months. After that, I would nurse him when he woke up at night and sometimes would let him sleep with me. Slowly but surely, it became less and less. I do think your son is too young right now to CIO, but I'm a believer that it's OK to let them cry at times. I've read some other comments about how CIO makes children think you aren't there for them or that they are insecure and that is about the biggest load of garbage I've ever heard. We did it with both of our children at the right time and both are very secure and independent. They both know we are there for them and always will be. I also read a post about the only threat of a baby being crushed by a parent is when they are either drunk or stoned, again garbage. It happens because a parent can be so tired and in a deep sleep they don't realize it, or a blanket/pillow gets pushed up against their tiny faces and they can no longer breathe! What I would say is first, talk with your pediatrician for some advice. Second, go with your gut. I don't blame your husband for being against co sleeping, but I think you could find a happy medium. My son slept through the night by about 12 months old, which is when I stopped nursing. He now happily puts himself to sleep, in his own bed/room and I don't hear from him until the next morning! He actually gets excited when we start getting him ready for bed and doesn't cry when we lay him down. Bottom line, it's all a matter of opinion and you get so many differing opinions that you have to take a little here and there and come up with your own formula and do what works best for you and your baby and remember it doesn't last forever! Best of luck to you!!!

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