Can Someone Please Ease My Fears..

Updated on October 05, 2011
A.H. asks from Canton, OH
19 answers

I posted a question a few weeks ago about my son possibly needing eye surgery..well, we found out he does need it. It's scheduled for the 20th of this month. We are very nervous about it. My main question is, will they let us stay with him until they put him to sleep or will they take him away before that? He's a HUGE mama's boy so I know he'll be freaked out if they take him away from me. We haven't told him its scheduled yet, planning to do that about 2 days before...we don't want him to worry too much

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So What Happened?

I'm not going to a children's hospital bit I'm really hoping they let me go with him until he's asleep..it would make me feel so much better..and for those that don't know, he's having surgery for a floating eye

Thanks everyone! i will be calling the doctor's office / hospital to find out the details.

More Answers

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A.,
Is this your 2nd grader?
Will you be going to a children's hospital? Generally, they are SO very good at accommodating the child and parents! They will most likely let you stay with him until absolutely necessary. At least to a point where he won't be aware that he's being taken back.
When my great nephew had to have an MRI at out children's hospital, my niece was allowed to hold him and be right there the whole time.
I agree with your philosophy about not telling him too soon. Smart!
I pray it all goes smoothly for you and your son...

3 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know what kind of surgery your son is having, but my son had tear duct surgery around age 2. He also had his adenoids out at age 3. Both times, they let one of us (me) carry him into the OR and hold his hand until they put the mask over his face and he was asleep and then I waited for him until they brought him into recovery and he was semi awake and we were both there with him from there on out. We didn't tell him about either surgery until minutes beforehand. At that age he really had no concept of time and 2 days would be the same as 2 minutes to him. You should ask your doctor what the procedure is for your hospital and procedure.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I think this is a question to ask the actual physician and facility.
I've worked in hospitals, but I have no way of knowing the policies of the hospital you are taking your child to.
Ask the professionals. Let them tell you how they handle the situation and express your concerns.
Usually, children are sedated and comforted by their parents until they are well groggy and then taken by a nurse into the sterile surgery suite where the anesthesiologist puts them to sleep.
However, you need to ask these questions of the hospital and the surgeon.

It's perfectly normal to be nervous. It's perfectly normal to be afraid and worried about how your son will handle everything.
In order to help your son through this, you need to be informed and as calm and as strong as you can be so that he will know he's going to be okay.
Arm yourself with information about how things will go ahead of time from the people who will be taking care of him.
You would be surprised how many surgeons and nurses and doctors are parents themselves, and they take special care not to traumatize the child.
Or the parents.
Your son will need you to be strong and positive.
He needs to believe he will be fine and he'll be okay and he'll get to go home with Mommy when it's all over.

Fall apart when he's away from you in surgery and then pull it together with the joyful news that he's fine afterwards.

I wish you the best.

2 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

When my nephew had open heart surgery, they let my sister stay with him until he fell asleep. He was four years old at the time. I do not know about procedure for when he awoke though. I hope that helps.

2 moms found this helpful

K.J.

answers from New Orleans on

My middle child had a finger surgery(her left,ring finger) when she was about 16 months old. Long story short her older sister slam her little finger in the door and we got shipped from our local hospital to a children's hospital that was a little over a hour. Anyway they made one of us sign papers to go ahead with the surgery(which I made my husband sign it) They had her IV in her arm and gave her a kiss and they made us leave.(Broke my heart. :( They got us as soon as the surgery was done and they let us stay with her after that. She did wonderful,no problems or nothing. Took about 10-15 minutes,but felt longer. She did had some issues after a while with being hold down and some doctors and nurse b/c of their work clothes,(which they had to do with her to get a IV in her,kinda freak her out) But she's alot better at the age of 4. Her older sister freaks out at shots now.lol..

Best luck to yall. :)

2 moms found this helpful

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

When my daughter had to be sedated for extensive dental work I was not allowed to go back but im in a way glad. I was a huge mess and if I would have seen the iv and all that I would of lost it. They actually gave her a little cocktail that made her goofy and she just walked back with the nurse like nothing! I was a hot mess but it all went very smoothly and all the worry for nothing! Im sure your baby will be just fine
They know what they are doing and y'all are in good hands!

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D.H.

answers from Canton on

I don't know how old your son is. that will make a big difference in his reaction. Just be sure that he doesn't pick up how nervous you are and he will do much better. The surgeon should know how to relate to your son and make him feel comfortable. They deal with kids a lot and know tricks to calm them down. Let your son know the basics of what will happen so he can be prepared. When my daughter had surgery, I downplayed it. She was nervous but brave enough to trust i wouldn't do anything that would harm her. Hopefully your son is the same. Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Boise on

My son just had surgery to put tubes in ears and take toncils and adenoids out. He was 21 months old. I am a SAHM and he is a total mommas boy. I was scared like you about him screaming and being scared. Thankfully at hospital we had it done I was able to walk back with him and held him till he went to sleep with mask they put on him. I also had posted something similar before his surgery and I got lots of responses where parents either got to go back till they go to sleep or they give him a sleepy cocktail he drinks so when he goes back he is sleepy. I would call the hospital your going to go to and ask them there policy on this. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter had ear tube surgery at 10 mos. They let us be with her pretty much until they were about to start. The doctor and nurses walked us through everything and the timing. And then they distracted her as we left. Our procedure took 20 min. I won't lie it was a very long 20 min but they took us back in the room as she was waking so we would be there.

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I can only speak for our anesthesiologist but they let you stay until the person goes to sleep. Heck they even let Troy stay with me until I fell asleep.

Also in our practice we have specific anesthesiologist that work only with kids, same with our nurse anesthesiologist though as a rule only the doctors work with the kids. They are very good with kids.

Hopefully your doctors are similar. :)

I read your what happened. We have two mobile practices that are staffed the same way. One is pediatric dentistry and the other is working with local vision centers. Believe it or not the regulations for eye surgery are more strict than other practices.

Why don't you just contact the anesthesiologists office. We have nurses that do nothing but answer patient questions

1 mom found this helpful

J.U.

answers from Washington DC on

My son had an oral medication that made him loopy. Then my husband and I were able to go into a room where they put a oxygen mask over him with a sedative and that put him to sleep. Once he was asleep, they took him back to the surgery room. I would call the hospital and see what their procedure is and if you can, tell them your anxiety. Sometimes if the child has never had a procedure they may be more willing to do something like what I described above. Good luck with surgery!

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My neice had eye surgery when she was 3. Everything went fine. My sister stayed with her till she fell asleep snd was with her when she woke up. The surgery went great and her eyes are perfect now! Barley and pain afterwards tgey just gave her ibuprophen and she wore a patch for a couple weeks! Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

I can only tell you from my experience at Cole at Cleveland Clinic. We were with him until they knocked him out and we were with him again before he was awake after the surgery. He was in the fourth grade and he did real well.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son had surgery at 2.5 yrs and they did not let me walk back with him to put him under. They did however let me in prior to him waking from the anesthesia. I would beg them to let you walk back with him---after my son came home he kept telling me I don't want to see the big 'brown' doctor (the urologist was middle eastern) he flipped out when the doctor came in and anytime we were around someone of the same ethnic background--- and this was a kid who LOVED doctors and had no fear of the dentist or anything! Even to this day he will some times mention the big 'brown' doctor. Apparently he had a very vivid memory of going under, something i wish I could take back for him :)

good luck BTW my son did perfect going under and the surgery went wonderful.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Many places will also let you tour the facility a few days before the surgery so you will all understand what is going to happen and what it all looks like.

Just ask them if a tour is possible.

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J.R.

answers from Toledo on

We've had tubes put in ears (x3) and one eye stent put in. For all surgeries except one, my husband took the kid in (one of us had to stay home with other kids) and I came after the surgery for the recovery part and nursed the affected kid. They did call me back to the recovery room once the kid woke up.

The dad thing worked out well for is; I didn't freak out and neither did any of the kids.

I don't think they'll let you to come back when they actually put him to sleep; sterile environment and all...but they did have me/my husband come back for the pre-assessment nurse prep part (changing into gown, blood pressure check...etc)

Good luck. It will be ok. Be strong for your son. He doesn't want to see you nervous; that will only make it worse for everyone. Your job is to provide reassurance for him.

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F.W.

answers from Miami on

For my dd's op I was there until she was out and was there as she was coming round. :-) She actually kept asking me questions about what had happened when she was sleeping as if I had stayed to watch the surgery. lol

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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think they'll let you back there till hes out.

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