Can Anyone Suggest a Good Parenting Book?

Updated on October 22, 2010
A.C. asks from American Fork, UT
38 answers

I am having some issues with my 5 year old girl and 3 year old boy. They do not listen well or respect me or my husband. I don't know what to do. I need a good parenting book.

Thanks!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I have been very impressed with the Parenting with Love and Logic series. There is one book specifically for toddlers.

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am very impressed with The power of positive parenting : a wonderful way to raise children by Glenn Latham. It is not just ideas, but behavioral science. Good luck... these parenting issues are so common, and it's easy to resort to screaming and other negative parenting methods that really do not solve the problems... and especially are not effective in the long run.

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M.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I was having some issues with my 3 year old son and a friend suggested the book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. It has been a total lifesaver! It is very well written and easy to follow. I love it!!!

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T.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I have this WONDERFUL book I have read the name of it is "From a child's Perception" By: Anna Lee Fowler. It will make you look at parenting in a whole new way. you can order it [email protected]____.com just go down to the middle of the page and in the search engine on the right hand side type the name of the book in and it will pop up. I know from reading it my self any parent,grandparent, aunt, uncle anyone with children in their life would absolutely fall in love with this book!

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R.O.

answers from Billings on

the book i found that works is abc 123 and it worked wonders and my kids are 2,4,5 and i run a daycare. so check it out you can get it at barnes and nobbel

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H.W.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi I recommend the Childwise series by Gary Ezzo and Screamfree parenting by Hal Edward Runkel.

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K.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I really enjoyed the text from my university class. I found it online (or most of it anyway). Its "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Glenn Latham. It REALLY helped me sooo much. The other books listed are great too. Here is the link to the course online materials. Good luck!

http://ocw.usu.edu/Family__Consumer____Human_Development/...

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K.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I tried to read the Love and Logic books, but have found that they don't really work for me personally. some of the tips are a little to drastic, esp. for my 5 year old. I have a friend who is reading that 123 magic and says it's great. I guess that is my next book to try.

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi A.,
Love and Logic really works, I have 3 boys and it all comes down to follow through on you and your husbands part. Love and Logic gives you the tools to do that.
Good luck,
Have fun,
SarahMM

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

Try the Love and Logic website - it has tons of resources, including newsletters, books and CDs. They also sell packs of materials for specific age groups. I took two different Love and Logic classes at different stages in my son's life, and personally I find classes more helpful than books, because of the interaction and ability to ask specific questions. www.loveandlogic.com/
Good luck!

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H.W.

answers from Denver on

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children; How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk;

I LOVE Adventures in Gentle Discipline, too. Dr. Sears has a Discipline Book, called just that, I think, but I haven't read it yet.

good luck!
H.

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K.L.

answers from Boise on

HI A., I have several friends who swear by the Love & Logic books. I have read them and gotten them on CD from the library. I am starting with my 20 month old and she responds well. I also use the techniques on my friend's elementary school kids and they all respond well to it. Good Luck!

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M.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I read so many parenting books when my older son was 3 - I was at a loss with him - we were at odds and I was exhausted and beaten down.

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child Written by Robert J. Mackenzie was by far the best book I read. It gave me some real life examples and reasons for behavior - both mine and my son's.

Love and Logic is also great - the simple act of giving choices, but in the right way, gave us so much.

I hope this helps!

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M.T.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You can try 1-2-3 Magic. I have a 4 year old with severe ADHD, and it has helped us a lot with respect and listening. The book is not all about the bad things we might be doing. It is about how to effectively discipline your kids and also building a strong relationship. I really enjoyed it, and continue to use the methods with both my 4 year old and my 9 year old.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi A.,
We have used the books/tapes etc by Michael and Debi Pearl. They run the "No Greater Joy" program and we have found them to be some of the best stuff out there. This is a Christian program and some may find it of non-interest to them. If you are interested you can find them online at No Greater Joy. I would start by ordering their small book "To Train Up A Child". It takes a lot of work but it is so well worth it. I am glad you are seeking help and hope you'll give the Pearls a try. God Bless You.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I agree with Joanne, not one book will help, a combination may but it is about limits, finding what they will respond to as far as punishment (priviledges taken away, early bedtimes, losing toys, etc.).
I tried some of the love and logic and it just didn't work for my children and myself. My kids have very different personalities and each I had to be creative as far as consequences for each on. The Five Languages of Love or something like that is a good book about how to deal with different kids and their personalities.

I had to actually go to play therapy with my then five year old daughter two summers ago, about issues we had and a lot of disrespect going on. A lot stemmed from issues from a divorce but we got to the bottom of it and learned to communicate effectively. Even after therapy I didn't necessarily do everything the therapist suggested, just took bits and pieces of what I learned and figured it out myself.
My friend gave me a book to read called, Have a New Kid by Friday, by Dr Kevin Leman. It has a lot of good tips, some to do and some just weren't what I would do.
Good luck, I think a combo of a few different things can help out more then anything.

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

Dear A.,

Two I would suggest is 5 Love Languages of Children and Dare by Dr Gary Chapman & Dare to Discipline by Dr Dobson.

Above all remember you are the parents. You need to stick together and show each that you respect each other and support each other.

My kids always tried to ask the other parent when the first said no. So we always say what did your dad/mom say? That stops a bunch of problems.

I wish you the best.

J.

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K.T.

answers from Provo on

I would suggest "Growing Kids Gods Way". They have audio tapes and books for infants and kids. It's worked wonders for me. You really should give it a try. They have a schedule that you can work out with them and other steps. I've done it with my baby and it has been amazing. I know that they say alot of books don't do any good but this has definitely worked for me.

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M.D.

answers from Denver on

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline.

of course how you react to any "parenting" book will depend on your basic parenting style. I found this book helpful because it focused less on specific techniques, which can be found in several books, but more on how the overall environment in the house can affect how your kids behave. I'd read several Love and Logic, Play Therapy, 123 Magic books, etc. and not found them particularly helpful because every kid is so different. Easy to Love,... really, literally, changed the way I parent and life is much (!) better at our house now. Good luck to you!

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

1, 2, 3 Magic is great and so is the Languages of love. I also like Love and Logic. They are great for any ages. Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline and Fay. It's the best parenting book I've read and I also took the class and use most of the techniques with my children.

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,
First of all "not listening" is Soooooo normal. I use the Love and logic books, you can get them from the library or online. They also have seminars. It is simple and easy to implement and underastand, I think they even have a book just for the 5 and under set. It doesn't work over night and you and your husband will need to be on board together, it takes a while to break the old habits that aren't working. Good luck to you and congrats on the new baby boy, how exciting!

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

A.,

For me, "good parenting books" are advice about how someone else did something with their children.
What if you did know what to do?
What can you do differently to create different results?
You are the only expert of how to raise your children.
Take the time to really ponder how to make a huge difference in your family life.

With my whole heart,
C. TLC (Transition Life Coach)

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

All of the books mentioned have good tips, the trick is finding the ones that are do-able for your family and then keep using the ones that work. There is no "one" book that will solve all of your problems. I used a lot from love & logic, but I also picked up tips from several resources. Remember, you are the parent. That is the one that is the hardest to deal with because no one wants to have their child mad at them because they didn't get the answer they wanted. It's OK, though, they need the structure and the loving discipline--you'll be great, but hang in there. Good luck!

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B.H.

answers from Denver on

Supernanny and The power of a positive Mom are both good books too.

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S.D.

answers from Denver on

Dr. Sears has a wonderful book on discipline.
Loved it. My son has become a very respectful little man. Of course he has to be reminded....and I sometimes have to "Tell" him how to say it, but the point is he follows through.

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J.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Anything by Dr. Sears. His discipline book is quite good but it does focus quite a bit on attachment parenting.

T.S.

answers from Denver on

I used 123 Magic when my kids were little and then used P.E.T.: Parent Effectiveness Training By Thomas Gordon. It transformed the way I parented and has made it possible to have open communication with my kids and they are all teens. I even use it in the parenting classes I teach.

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

Discipline: The Brazelton Way.

I am a Child Developmental Specialist by career and this one is a good book.

BTW, a lot of people on here are recommending 1-2-3 Magic. It works, but it is not a good method for the kid, only for the adult. It would take too long to get into it. Lots of discipline methods work in the short term, but basically, Brazelton, and I think Love and Logic, are more about helping your kids want to be good when no one is looking, not just when the parents are around. Also, I read Glen Latham's Positive parenting. It is fine, but not nearly as good as Brazelton. Glen Latham is a behaviorist. Basically his book will tell you to ignore all negative behavior and pay attention to positive behavior. This only works for some kids, and I don't recommend his book either.

Marci

S.N.

answers from Detroit on

There's a great new book for exactly what you're talking about: Have the Guts to Do it Right: Raising Grateful and Respectful Children in an Era of Indulgence. It's really loving and easy to understand, extremely helpful. Website is www.havethegutstodoitright.com

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I totally agree that the Love & Logic series is fantastic. But there is one that is especially good for your age of children. It's called Love & Logic: Practical Parenting from Birth to 6 yrs. I read it a few months ago & it has completely changed the dynamic in our house. I highly recommend it!

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O.L.

answers from Denver on

I liked Love & Logic a lot 'til my son was about 2 1/2 & could outreason it. He started using it on me: "Your choices are to watch me play Legos or to read me a book." haha Funny, but not that effective.

I found a newish book called "From Difficult to Delightful in Just 30 Days" by Jacob Azerrad.
http://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Delightful-Just-30-Days/d...

We haven't implemented all of the strategies in it (as I haven't finished reading it yet) but we've experienced some success with our 3 1/2 year old anyway. And, let me tell you, it's been *months* of serious power struggles. We're not in the clear yet, by any stretch, but I am seeing more behaviors that make me proud. (And fewer that make me think, "OMG, what am I doing wrong???")

Best of luck!

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S.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Congrats on #3! A healthy baby boy will be such a blessing! NOT that I am supermom or perfectly execute either of these techniques I am suggesting...everyone is different, every kid, every parent, but I loved both of these 1,2,3 Magic--I don't know the author, I just asked at the library after someone recommended it. Well known--time out techniques, and good for your kiddo's age group.

Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman--he's written other parenting books this is the newest-some of the stuff is a for older kids, but GREAT book, shapes your attitude toward parenting and WHY dicipline is so very important in our job as parents. I loved the part about 'respond rather than react to your chidren when they act up"

I have also heard wonderful things about the Love and Logic series--

Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

I have attended a Love and Logic seminar through a school district in TX (less expensive than the ones given here) and it helped. They have a website and you can order the books as well. It will take both you and your husband working together to make progress. It is all about consequences for their behavior both good and bad. Hope it works for you.

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J.A.

answers from Boise on

Anything by Dr. Harvey Karp. He has for babies called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and another one called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block". I have a difficult 4 1/2 year old and found the toddler one to be spot on! It gives a lot of explanations for why youngsters act the way that they do. Also, "Parenting with Love and Logic" is a terrific resource. I am a high school teacher, and took the class the writer offered called "Teaching with Love and Logic" and it was fantastic! Also, check out any parenting groups or local agencies to see if they have a "Parenting with Love and Logic" class any time soon. If so, sign up! If not, ask about getting one in your area. It will change the entire way you think about parenting, and how you deal with your children!

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B.H.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Love and Logic- I have been an early childhood teacher for 15 years and now a parent. Get on their web site, Get the books from the library, and listen to the cds. they are funny- and it works greta as long as you follow through. Kids need/love routine, rules and consequences that are followed through. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page-

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

How To Behave so Your Children will, too! by Sal Severe is excellent.

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D.E.

answers from Denver on

The baby whisperer. It goes up through early childhood.

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