Can a School Bus Driver...

There should be someone over the drivers; that's how it is here in my district. The school basically has nothing to do with the drivers here. I guess I would talk to the driver first but that doesn't sound like it's getting anywhere. I would definitely go over his head - he has no right to hold any child on the bus for any reason - in my opinion. The issues should be addressed with the parent; not the child.

By the way, I'd be mad as hell if a bus driver kept my child on the bus and was late for school!!!

As for you smoking, well, I think you know what you should do about that!! I saw my Grandfather die from emphysema - sad; and my Uncle from strokes because of smoking - please think about stopping.

Good luck!!

I think school bus driver if it was a public school you need to contact higher up than that school. Do they have cameras on the bus? Talk to a Lawyer.

Yes an employee or contractor of the school has a right to detain a student. You can say alone all you want but it isn't going to change the situation unto something different. The fact is you smoke enough on the bus stop that your poor kid gets on the bus wafting of smoke, bad enough that he smells like he smoked on the bus.

Do you get it? You can rant and rave all you want but your son wouldn't have been questioned if it wasn't for you smoking that much around your kid.

How do you even know he didn't steal a cigarette and try to act cool on the bus? Seems kind of odd that this far into the school year the bus driver decided he was actually smoking on the bus.

Sorry to be so harsh but bus drivers have about the worst job on earth. Not only do they have to control a bus full of kids but then they have to deal with parents like you that can't accept that their smoking around their kids caused the problem so they go after the bus driver will full vengeance.

Don't smoke around your kid! Problem solved!
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Oh wonderful and looking at your last post your son has behavior issues. Don't blame the poor bus driver for your family issues.

This post is not about whether or not you smoke, was the bus drivers actions reasonable? not in my opinion, if he suspected something was up then he should have alerted the school and let them deal with it. Why? Because people still smoke, so jumping to the conclusion that it was the child, 11 at that who was smoking, is taking it one step to far.

A simple phone call to the mom would have cleared this all up. Either she would explain it was her...or the son would have had a lot of answering to do when he got home.

Step back from the fact that the mom smokes, had this been anyone else's child, for any other infraction...you'd be livid that a bus driver held your son long enough to make them late for school...and alone with no other witnesses.

ETA---------------------------------------------

I am saddened by how many people are missing the point. I think once people saw that the mom smokes they instantly felt that her and her son were in the wrong.

1. No where did she say her son couldn't be lying, she said after speaking with both sides she believes her son...why? Because the bus driver basically said the same thing to her. Do I believe my kids right off the bat? Nope, but I know my kids well enough to see and hear a lie when I do, and I also know when they are being truthful. I think for the most parts all parents can.

2. I would not be backing up the bus driver on this matter. There were a handful of ways to handle the situation and confronting an 11 year old on a bus alone is not one of them. Doctors can't be left alone in rooms with minors...neither should a bus driver.

How amazing that because a child has issue's it is assumed he is in the wrong....judgement much? Be realistic here and look at it for what it is, take out the fact that mom smokes and take away the fact that the child has some issues and you guys would be calling for his job.

I had a friend whose son got in trouble several times for smelling like smoke because his mother smoked. She would take one of his friends to school in the morning whose mother smoked. He would get in trouble for smelling like smoke too. My friend ended up quitting smoking. She was shocked at how much the friends child smelled like smoke when he got in the car every morning. When your smoking, you don't notice it, but everyone else does.

If your son described the situation 100% truthfully, then this driver is in the wrong. If. But you immediately refused to believe anything the driver said. I have a number of parents in my world whose kids never do anything wrong, and yet, I'm there for it, I observe it when the parents don't, and I've heard the nicest, smartest, most respectful children describe situations to their parents in the most colorful ways to avoid trouble. This driver may lose his job on the words of a teen who has hated him from the first day.

And while he probably smells like smoke because you were smoking near him (yes, even outside), children of smokers are much more likely to smoke themselves.

I am sorry about this situation. Maybe not smoking around your son? Second-hand smoke is deadly, and even third hand smoke (such as smoke on one's clothes) has now, through research, been shown to be very damaging to children. I would worry because my aunts grew up exposed and they all have awful allergies, surgeries, etc. And, my grandpa (the one who smoked) died slowly and painfully from emphazema, unable to get enough air. It was so sad, and he didn't get to see all the grandkids.

"The bus driver is no longer allowed to detain my son on the bus and though the VP is trying to do everything possible to help my son feel better about riding the bus and not being afraid of the driver. I am still mad and I personally think that it is time for a change."
It sounds like you got what you wanted, what more do you want? Do you want the driver fired over this?
And I'm sorry that you don't believe your son *could* be lying. That is just extremely naive of you. What if the driver was telling the truth and he DID get fired? How would you feel about that?
I think you're being defensive because your son has been going to school smelling like cigarette smoke and he was confronted about it. It's illegal for minors to smoke, it would have been no different if he got on the bus smelling of alcohol or pot.
Smoking is your choice, and your right, but from now on you might want to keep it away from your son. I mean honestly, couldn't you at least wait until after he gets on the bus? My clothing always smelled like smoke growing up, especially my coat and scarf which of course didn't get washed every day and I HATED it (sorry, I know that wasn't your question but I think it's relevant nonetheless.)

I think it's okay to talk to a child in private and not call them out in front of everyone. However, for him to make him so late that he got a tardy is unacceptable. How old is your son? He should have gone straight to the principle to let them know what happened and the issue could have been addressed immediately.

I'm with some of the others though. Smoking is fine, if that's what you chose to do. Smoking so near the kids that their clothes smell like smoke isn't so fine, just in my book. I'd be upset if any other parent was smoking near my kids at the bus stop.

You need to put all this in writing and mail it certified to the bus company, the principal and the superintendent. You should cc all the people involved so that they all know who is getting a copy of the letter. You need to tell them that you and your son feel bullied because you are a smoker and regardless of the bus driver's feelings about smoking, he has no right to hold your son in contempt. Threatening him to put him with mean kids in the bus should be a fireable offense.

If your son has a cell phone, he needs to record his conversations with the bus driver. He also needs to SAY to the driver "I don't feel comfortable being alone with you and I want to get off of this bus." With his phone recording this and the bus driver's answer, he will be in a heap of trouble if he prevents your son from leaving the bus.

If you can't find out the law, perhaps a trip to a lawyer along with the threat of calling the media will take care of this in short order.

Good luck
Dawn

Call the Transportation department and talk to the Supervisor, Gerald Turner.

http://www.kenton.k12.ky.us/administrativeDepartment.aspx...

Your superintendent of schools is Terry Cox-Scruey.

here is the code of conduct for your school district.
http://www.kenton.k12.ky.us/userfiles/921/FINAL%208%2004%...

get it in writing. and complain.

Wow..... I think the bus driver was way out of line for telling your son this. The reason the bus driver wants you to talk to him directly is for this to be "off the record", instead of you working through the principal or transportation department.... you did right by contacting the VP about your complaint.

I work in a middle school, and it is amazing how many kids come in smelling of smoke... but it is because their parents smoke, usually in the car. They may not be smoking when the kids are IN the car, but the residual odor is in there, and it clings to the kids.

I would never think of doing what the bus driver did!

You need to be sure to contact the transportation department, also, saying that your son is now afraid to ride on the bus because of the bus driver's actions. He is afraid the bus driver will put him in the back of the bus with the kids who have picked on him before.

I think that the bus driver messed up big time. If he had a problem with your son, then he should have taken him to the Principal's office to discuss it. He should not have been given a tardy slip for this since he did nothing wrong. I would have a hard time putting my child back on this bus given the situation...in fact, I probably would go to the Principal directly...as in I would show up in their office and not leave until my concerns were addressed.

Also, does it not bother you that your son smells like smoke from your habit? This should be alarming to you....

What business is it of anyone else if anyone else smells like cigarette smoke? For goodness sake.

People smoke. That's not against the law nor should anyone be punished for it. I think that an attorney writing a letter to the school board stating that even if he did smell like smoke there was absolutely no reason for anyone to say anything to him. They had no cause to do anything to him.

If an attorney writes such a letter and states that if an apology is not forth coming in writing from the school, the bus driver, and the school admin that charges will be following for XXX and xxx. (Anything the attorney can about personal suffering and embarrassment or personal hell will make them start backpedaling and maybe even fire this bus driver).

An attorney scares people and they will back down. They will apologize and they will never bother your son again.

How do you know that your son wasn't smoking on the bus? Because he said so? Your son isn't the best behaved child and I'm guessing he's not the most truthful either. He may very well hate the bus driver because the guy actually disciplines the children while he's responsible for them. You keep saying that the driver spoke to your son "alone" as if that's a horrible thing. Were you insinuating he was up to something hinky and abusive? I have a feeling that he was trying to avoid calling your son out in front of an entire bus of children. Some drivers pull over on the side of public streets... yet you're upset that the driver chose school property.

You don't have the whole story. You're automatically assuming that the driver was in the wrong and your son is completely innocent, and smells of smoke because of you. Think about the fact that a child that smells so very strongly of second hand smoke is endangering children that have asthma and cigarette smoke allergies. Also think about the very high likelihood that your child WAS smoking on the bus. You may want to check your child's room and belongings for cigarettes and matches.

I was going to post a lengthy answer but after I read your SWH I'm here thinking why in the world people make posts like this and then attack every person who disagreed with them. I'm reading all the answers and find very helpful advice even from the ones who are disagreeing with you.
by the way from reading your post and having no extra information I do believe your son, I do believe it was your smoking that caused his clothes to smell of cigarette smoke. Try to have some rules for yourself regarding smoking, only do it outside so the house doesn't smell; don't smoke at the bus stop with your son right by you so his jacket doesn't smell any more. And also keep an eye open to see if your son is "curious" about cigarettes and might want to try them ( I started smoking at 15 and it took me years to quit).

In regards to the bus driver, I would be pi$$ed if my daughter got a tardy because of him, I hope they can do something about that because it was really unfair IMO. Also incredibly mean to put your son in the back of the bus knowing the big kids are there and could bully him, what a jerk for doing that.

Ok well take care and really try to take the positive on everyone's answers. good luck!

I am going to play devils advocate here and say you should personally speak to the bus driver before getting this person fired. Take the same route you would if your child came home and said something bad about the teacher. a good rule of thumb is to believe half of what comes home as truth the same way your child's teachers take half of what your child says as truth about home. I'm not saying don't file a complaint. but I would wait until after you speak to the bus driver. and as far as him being held "alone" on the bus with the driver there is not a public school in america that doesn't have teachers / aids outside waiting for the students to get off the bus. so I am just saying I would follow through a little more.

First of all, you get up at 4:00 a.m. to wash clothes for your son to wear to school every morning???

Let that sink in a moment...

I did go back and read your previous post about your son and him having lived with his father, etc. You have a tough road ahead of you and so does your son. Many times, the best thing that can happen for a kid like yours, is to have somebody 'tough' with authority come into the picture in some way. Maybe for your son it is this bus driver.

Rather than becoming so combative over this with the driver, maybe you should try backing him up instead? Maybe he has a little more experience in the ways of how middle schoolers evade the rules than you do. Your son has only been living with you a short time, and I'm sure this bus driver has seen it ALL. If in fact, there is nothing more going on than the smoke smell, then do yourself and your son a huge favor and make some changes to eliminate that issue for you both. I'd suggest that getting up at 4:00 a.m. (cough cough) is not the best way to approach that. Washing clothes in a washing machine/dryer that is housed in a smoker's home does not get the smell out. As soon as they are dry and you take them out to fold them they are right back in a smoke filled environment, and you can smell it. Period. I had a good friend whose parents were smokers when I was a teen. My own clothes (clean, no smoking in my house or by me and my friends) came home REEKING of smoke when I'd spend any time at her house. It would even be in my own hair.

Granted, I think it is a bit extreme that the driver caused your son to miss breakfast at school. But, sometimes the schedules are tight and it can happen, even if the bus is just running 5 minutes off schedule on any given morning. But I suspect your son is 'heavily exaggerating' being held 30 MINUTES?! after arrival at school. That just sounds like a bald faced lie, to me, unless your son escalating the discussion and got sent to the principal's office for further infractions...

Maybe you should try backing up the other authority figures in your son's life, and talk to your son about how this will affect him in the longer term? Go back and read what you wrote in your first post about your son's behavior, and take that into consideration. He can't be aggressive with school officials (including the bus driver) and have no consequences. They will follow him all his life as the "troubled kid", the one with "violent tendencies", the "troublemaker" etc.... if he doesn't do something to turn it around. That is the worst thing that could happen for him now.

You mentioned getting him into counseling... have you been able to get that started? Maybe he could meet with a guidance counselor at school. He has to accept that they "system" is the one he has to work within. Being a "tough" "macho" guy or whatever he has been trying to prove will not take him anywhere good.

Absolutely you have to file the formal complaint. If there is another way to transport your child, I'd do it; not as a punishment to your child but just so he can get on with his job of being a student; it's distracting and unfair to him to have to be stressed every single day about what might happen on the bus -- and the driver is only part of that; it sounds from the post like he has had issues with other kids on the bus as well. Meanwhile, do complain.

I would definitely report to the vice principal that when you spoke to the bus driver by phone, the driver told YOU an entirely different thing (not taking any responsibility) from what the driver told the vice principal (who told you that the driver "took full responsibility" when talking to the vice principal). Let the VP know that the tune was different when the driver spoke to you, versus when he spoke to the VP and say that you expect the VP to call you later today after talking again to the driver about that fact! It was the VP who said to call the driver, so I would immediately report that conversation right back to the VP and say you expect some follow-up on the difference in what was said to each of you by this driver.

Regarding the smoke, as someone who grew up the child of a smoker -- the smoke smell probably was there, and was not from your one cigarette at the bus stop that one day. It likely is in all the clothing in your home but you can't detect it -- smokers usually cannot smell the "smoke smell" on themselves or others, but nonsmokers can. And kids who grow up around smoke can't really detect it either, so your son or others in the household may not realize it's there. If you are thinking at all of giving it up, or can be objective about it -- have a friend over who does not smoke and does not live with a smoker, and ask her to honestly and frankly assess how your home and especially the clothes in the closets smell, and let her give her real opinion on whether she detects smoke smell in the clean clothes you and your family have in your closets. If you can take her honest opinion and go from there, you might be surprised to find that laundered clothes that have hung in the closet will smell of smoke. Then you can decide where to go based on that information. But it does require you to be willing to make the experiment and listen to your friend without defensiveness or judgement.

I don't see how it's just one person who is at fault. I think this whole thing should be a learning lesson for all who are involved.

I honestly feel sorry and embarrased for your son. It isn't his fault you smoke near him, or near the bus stop, and it isn't his fault that the bus driver used inappropriate measures to handle this situation.

I think it's at the bus driver's discretion for handling issues, and in any other situation it would call for a slight detaining to solve the problem. However, the problem was not with your son this time. So, yes, it was wrong of him to accuse and detaine your son for smelling like smoke, and accusing him of smoking.

I did not read all of your responses but I did read your update. :-) I have to say, my daughter is 10 and if I found out that the bus driver had detained her on the bus by herself to chew her out for smoking (or anything else for that matter with ver few exceptions) I would be FURIOUS!!! If the bus driver has concerns regarding my child's behavior and or habits that happen off of the bus the driver is more than welcome to take it up with ME or the school Principal or VP. The only time that the driver better be getting on my kid's case is if it is something that happened ON the bus and then honestly he better be careful.

Granted my daughter is extremely well behaved - never had a single incident in school, child care and or summer camp. So I am probably a little more intense on the idea of someone such as a bus driver chewing her out for something that did not even happen on their watch.

As far as the comments regarding your smoking (and this comes from an ex smoker) sure would be nice if we could all be as perfect as those who choose to be judgemental of others. You are not stupid and you know, I am sure, how to be responsible around your child regarding your vice.

It does sound like you have the VP of the school in the loop regarding this situation. Personally I would probably also make it VERY clear to both the driver and the VP that my child is NOT to be detained on the bus for ANY reason. If the driver has an issue he needs to call a meeting in which myself and either the principal or the VP would be in attendance.

Sounds like for the most part you are doing everything you can.

In your update you stated your son is in wrestling and that it is very beneficial to him and controlling his aggression. I think that is awesome and kudos for supporting him in that.

Sorry this is long. I hope your son does not have anymore issues with this driver but if he does I would raise a huge stink and probably try to get him transferred to a different route.

Sports helped my SS A LOT when he was 12 or so and getting aggressive with his father. I hope that it helps your son as much.

I would also speak to the school about the tardy since enough tardies will affect your son's attendance record. If he was detained by the bus driver, the tardy should be excused. Find out the school's policy and if the driver should have given him a tardy slip or something. You need to be asking these questions of the bus depot or the school or both, not us. We do not know their policies.

I would ask the police dept. it sounds like false imprisonment to me. I don't think you can hold anyone against their will child or not in a space like that where he didn't have a safe place/option. I would pursue it and make sure the bus driver knows he better not ever talk to your son again or you will prosecute.

At least the bus driver cared enough to notice it. I don't know bus drivers do it, honestly. They get involved, the parents get mad & back their kids no matter what. They don't get involved, the parents still get mad.

Are you unable to take your son to school yourself? And, why are you smoking at a bus stop? Stop smoking around your son.