Can a Husband Keep You from Leaving the State?

Updated on May 13, 2007
J.M. asks from Madisonville, LA
11 answers

I have a question for anyone who can help me. My husband and I were discussing a friends divorce. He made the comment that he would not allow me to move out of state with our child. I have no family here. I am a SAHM, so if anything ever were to happen, am I really stuck here. My family would be able to help me with finding a job, daycare, and expenses until I could get on my feet. I have a support system there. I don't have that here. Please help me.

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A.T.

answers from Little Rock on

I am assuming yes as my friend just had to cancel plans of moving when she could not get written consent from her exhusband to leave with their son.

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L.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, he can.

It's called a Jurisdiction Restriction or something like that. It can keep you within your county and contiguous counties. What that means is you would have to remain in your county of which you divorce in, or you can move to any county that touches your county. The purpose of this is to give equal and ample access for both parents. Judges believe if one moves away it doesn't allow the other easy access to the child.

HOWEVER, if he moves out of those same areas, that relieves you of your restriction. Unless he gives you written permission to move out of the area.

Otherwise, you would have to petition the court that it is in your child's best interest. You would have to prove it. And it would have to be substantial since you would be taking the child away from the other parent. Finances really don't come into play because child support should be able to help you with expenses -- that's the way they see it.

I have this restriction on me currently. I have no family in this area nor am I from this area.

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G.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.!

What a coincidence! My friend who just went through this was named Jaymie too! She moved our here to Texas, w/her w/her husband, bought a brand new home, had a new baby and he comes home one day to tell her he has not been happy for a long time! WHATEVER!! Anyway, she has really no family support here, and all of her family live elsewhere!!

The first thing I told her (familiar w/Texas Law), she could not take their 2 year old son OUT OF STATE!! That is totally against the law unless your ex agrees to it, you will be charged w/kidnapping! This is a simple fact of life. Most states are like this, but especially here. The judge has to actually rule in your favor (if you gain custody) for you to be able to take him out of state. I had another girlfriend that was able to do this (out of the DFW area - 1st time in Collin County), but she could not find a job in her particular career that would support her and her son unless she moved, so the judge granted her full custody of her son and she moved to Austin. His Dad only see's him once a month. She proved (w/my testimony too, woo hoo!) that he was not fit to be their son's main caretaker and so she was awarded full custody.

Again, unless your dh signs a paper and agrees that you can take him out of state to live, then you will have to do it on your own here in Texas. That is just the way it goes. Unless you can prove beyond a shawdow of a doubt (private investigator, pics etc.) that he is unfit and that you are unable to support yourself & your son without financial help from your family, you will have to try and make it here!

My friend, Jaymie bought another house here in McKinney and is doing ok for now. She is a nurse, so she was already making more of an income than her A*****E Husband, so it was not a big deal for her. He had incurred 40 K in debt and she agreed not to move if he would take all the debt w/him. She had no debt and so in order to provide for her son and at least him be able to see him son, she agreed.

Divorces, no matter why or when the couple tries to be amiable, they just don't always come out the way they should.

Good Luck!!

Gladys

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I have first hand exprience with this...let me tell you what the state of Texas Law says...Initially no, he can not tell you where you can reside with the children. However once you move, he can call you to court and change all of that. If you prove your case to that judge that you have no support system here, no job, etc...the judge can grant you to have 'no geographical restriction' however, if your husband proves his case, whatever it may be, you will/may have to say restricted to a certain county and/or school district.

We did this to my husband's ex-wife. She wanted to up and move to a different state with my husband's daughter, so she did. We filed a contempt of court charge on her, which forced her to move back here to our county/city until we went to court. When we went to court her case did not hold water and now she has a geographical restiction to our county/school districy until the child is 18 yrs old.

Be careful.

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

It all depends on what your divorce decree would say and you would probably have to go thru the courts to move out of state with the child. Usually the courts don't allow it unless its a job transfer or military situation.

Hope this helps,
B.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

Yes a spouse can set geographical boundries in a divorce and it is up to a judge whether or not to allow them. Most judges do respect a father's wish to see his children on a regular basis and it is very common for geographical boundries to be set.

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T.R.

answers from Dallas on

He cannot do anything about it really. If you were to leave with the kids and go to your family out of state there would be no law keeping you here. When you hire an attorney he would have to fight to keep you where you want to be but a judge would usually give the mom what she wants as far as that. My papers say if I want to move out of our school district I have to go to court again. It also has a lot to do with where you got married if the judge has a problem deciding.

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

I haven't read anyone else yet, but no, he can't keep YOU from moving out of state, but he can keep the CHILD from moving out of the state. You can move anywhere you want, but the child stays.

The only 2 ways around this are to 1) move before either of you file divorce. if you move before anyone files, it's not kidnapping and once you move, it's hard to get them back in the state 2) make him a good enough offer to give you permission to take the child out of the state. you'll pay for 100% of the transportation costs, assume all the driving, whatever.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

If the divorce you are discussing is that of a friend, why are you personalizing it? Why stress over something that isn't happening to you?

Be happy in your family and don't sweat it until that time comes!

Jodi

L.A.

answers from Dallas on

Are you concerned by this b/c you are contemplating divorce? Odd.

My friend got her ex-husband to allow her to move to a different state with the kids under the condition that she allow him to take all the taxes for the children as his dependants (even though he only sees them on weekends) for the first 5 years. After that, she gets her tax cut, so she is having a hard time financially for the next couple of years, but she has the freedom to leave if she wants.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Kinda of a weird thing to ask about...unless you are thinking of filing for divorce. But no she can't take the child to a different state unless he agrees to it, which is a good thing. What about the childs support system? They need both parents in their lives if at all possible. I was a stay at home mom before I got divorced. My exhusband had to pay our mortgage/bills etc. until the divorce was finalized. This allowed me time to "get on my feet". I started an inhome daycare which allowed me to continue to stay at home with my kids, transport them to school and support myself. Child Support can be given immediately. I'm curious why you would want to move your child away from one of his parents. If it was the other way around, would you want your ex to do that to you?

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