C-section Fears

Hi,

Your fears are not irrational. A c-section brings with it a lot more risks than a VBAC. Why did you have a c-section the first time around? I am a senior midwife student and can talk to you about this in more detail and your options with a VBAC vs. a repeat c-section if you want. My email address is ____@____.com someone mentioned in another post that a c-section is better for the baby. That is ridiculous. Mother nature made our babies to give birth vaginally and the baby benefits from that. I am a former Respiratory Therapist and when I worked in the hospital I attended all c-sections because those babies would have a harder time trying to breath than a vaginal born baby. When a baby goes through the vagina the fluid that is filling their lungs is squeezed out but a baby born by c-section does not have that so they are born with a lot more fluid. This makes it harder for them to start breathing, they have to be suctioned a lot more and that fluid can be retained for 24-48 hours so they have a hard time eating.

Take Care,
Lisa

This is a tough spot to be in. :( I highly recommend learning more about VBAC. If you're in the Houston area, there is a great Yahoo! group for the local ICAN chapter that you should join. You can find it at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ICANOFHOUSTONGALVESTON/ . As a c-section mom, myself, I'm on that list along with many other mamas with a wide variety of experiences and information. After my first c-section (due to doctor's impatience), I changed my place of birth - I stayed home. I had an amazing midwife attend to me and the baby, and I was able to give birth naturally, in the peace of my own home. My third son was born last September, also at home.

All birth has some risk, but the fewest risks are had with a natural, normal, unhindered labor (no induction, no augmentation, no epidural, no pestering, no demands, no threats, etc). For every intervention, your risk of a problem increases. But laboring according to what your body tells you, listening to it as you rock through contractions, move with the baby, and work with your body to birth your baby in whatever position your baby and body deem best, is the absolutely safest and best way to birth.

A documentary on birth in America has been put out recently, that I highly recommend watching, even now as you make your final preparations for birth. You can never be too well informed! You can watch it online via Netflix, or order it on Netflix. I bought a copy from Amazon. You can see more about it at http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/ . "The Birth Book" by Dr. Sears is also a really good guide to the ins and outs of birth, including the benefits and drawbacks of interventions (such as forceps, as you mention).

Learn all you can, and do what your heart tells you! Feel free to send me a private message if I can be of assistance.

No, you aren't going loony at all. This is a natural reaction for you to ensure that you and your baby have a safe delivery and that you make the right choices. Perhaps you don't have much confidence in the ob/gyn you are seeing. He could be unapproachable and therefore you cannot share your greatest fears with him. This happened to me after I produced another baby after a 10 year gap. I even suffered from PRE-natal depression! The long and the short of it is that I had a doctor who was very unapproachable and reacted to all my fears with a "oh come on smile" and made light of all I was afraid of and needed to lay at rest in my mind.
I think you may like to consider visiting another doctor if this is the case, if not - find a counselor with whom to speak things over, something with nursing and preferably obstetrical experience such as a midwife.

Any time you go in for a surgery it is normal to be a little scared. I had 3 c-sections with 3 different doctors in 3 different cities because we moved alot with my husbands company. I since have had quite a few surgeries for diffent things and they still make me apprehensive at times. Just don't invision anything but a perfect outcome every time. I know that sounds easy, but that is the only thing that gets me through each one. Sections are so much improved since I had mine, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.Jut stay positive that everything will be alright, and it will. Let it go and let God take care of it. That is His job, and He is really good at it! Good luck, and here's wishing you the best of health and happiness with the new one!
C.

i had irrational fears also - i kept thinking the house was going to burn down, and i had to unplug everything all the time, i couldnt leave even one plug in the socket when i went to bed, i even had an electrician come out and check my wiring!

a c section is a big operation and its normal to fear it, but you wont be under a general aneasthetic which has a death rate of 1 in 10,000 (really low) you will be having an epidural or spinal which has a one in 250,000 death rate from complications (almost unheard of) your premonitions are fear - only that. dealing with fear is not easy when your pregnant because your hormones naturally make you more fearful to protect your unborn child.
maybe you could talk to your dr and find out step by step what is going to be happening to you a lot has changed since 1991.
my c section was a pretty straightforward affair - my second child was VBAC and if you go down that route let me tell you it is much easier and the recovery is shorter.
i had no pain meds with my second.
looney? maybe lol - but it will be over after you have the baby and you will get your brain back!

Sometimes a little more information can help calm fears. One of the books recommended to me was, Ina May's guide to childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. The first part of the book is all birth stories, which filled me with warm fuzzies. The second part is the "Essentials of Birth." I found the Sphincter Laws most interesting. Understanding what your body is doing and why, along with how to help it do what it needs was incredibly helpful. The last part has a page of stats that really shows these ladies not only know what they are doing but most importantly, your body is made to do these things.
Talk with your OB and be sure you have complete trust in their abilities. Do you have a birth plan? Independent studies show, VBAC is truly safer that open abdominal surgery.
Lastly, it's okay to have a backup plan, but please remember the power of positive thinking. Visualize what you want to happen and keep your eye on the goal. Best wishes this second time around!

For starters you have all of those hormones making you emotional! But that said I will tell you my story! Mine wasn't a c-section, it was having my wisdom teeth out. my son was a todler and I thought sure that I would not wake up after surgery, because one of the questions that they ask you is if you are sleeping well (some kind of risk if you are not) And I lied and said yes! I needed those teeth out, and I was afraid that they wouldn't do it, so I lied! I went under thinking that I would die! Crying my eyes out all the way to the operating room. I even told my husband to be sure to tell my son about me through the years so that he wouldn't forget me! Anyway As I woke up and came to, I remember the very first words out of my mouth were "I'm Alive!" I was so surprised! it would make you wonder why I let them put me under if I was so afraid! I cried and then again the first time I saw my son after the surgery. Fear is not of God, fear is of the devil! Don't live in fear! God bless!

Your fears are normal! C/S is major surgery and there are morbidity risks and infant NICU risks (sometimes because the c/s is scheduled before the baby is developed). Personally, I'd face the fear and if that means writing up your requests to have peace of mind, then do it. (I had a surprise "emergency" c/s (considered emergency only because it wasn't scheduled, the baby wasn't in distress at all) but I'd never wanted one--just before going into labor I read about c/s and what I could do to make it a better experience and I walked through the "what if's" in my mind, and it helped me so much, so maybe it would help you overcome your fear by walking through it and figuring out how to deal with it--I don't mean crying all day, I mean taking charge of what you can control if something bad happened). In most situations a VBAC is safer than an elective repeat c-section, although fewer and fewer OB/GYNs are pro-vbac (litigation and convenience of c/s scheduling). The medical reports are available showing the significant medical safety in VBAC'ing, and I VBACed two years ago. I feel safer when I look at something from all angles, and I know that thoroughly researching VBACs gave me the knowledge and confidence I needed to take responsibility for my and my baby's health (rather than just do whatever a doctor says, to do all the research you can so that you KNOW that whatever YOU decide is the best decision you can make under the situation with the preparation you've done). The birth climate changed dramatically between my first and fourth child (1998 to 2006) and I also thought "where do I begin"! You owe it to yourself to put alot of thought into your birth and what kind of experience is safe and reasonable. The Am. College of Obstetrics strongly advises against repeat c/s unless they are "medically necessary" but I don't know your individual circumstance and I'm not going to judge you and tell you what is prudent for you. There is fantastic information including medical reports and papers at www.ican-online.org (VBAC, childbirth, and C/S info.) to help you make however you welcome your sweet baby into the world as empowering and beautiful and safe as possible. There is a TON of info. in there so read it all. Advice #2: Don't watch "A Baby Story" and other shows which sensationalize crisis. Sometimes there's a great, uplifting, fearless story to tell, but many I've seen have scared me and made me doubt my own abilities while I was preparing for my children's arrivals! I got better with positive affirmations and good private (not in-hospital) childbirth classes! Best wishes and may you GIP Gestate in Peace!!!

K.,
I am a L&D nurse in The Woodlands. First of all let me say that fears at the end of your pregnancy are very common. If you wanted to try a VBAC, good luck finding a doctor to do it. Have you talked to your doctor about that previously? Very few doctors do them now and you will have a hard time finding a doctor to take you this late in your pregnancy. I know of a few that might, if you feel strongly about it. Whatever you do, DO NOT do a home birth with a midwife. VBAC's are very high risk. I have seen uterine rupture with VBAC's several times and they are never pretty. There is usually no warning, and if you are not in a hospital ready for surgery, you and your baby are dead. There is a reason most doctors won't take the risk any more. Write to me offline and let me know who your doctor is and if you are serious about a VBAC I might be able to find a doctor who will. I understand the fears you have. Discuss them with your doctor. Having a cesarean is the safest route. My email is ____@____.com me know if I can help. I had 3 vaginal deliveries and my fourth child was a cesarean. I understand the desire for the vaginal birth, however, if I became pregnant again, I would be a scheduled c-section. I had very easy vaginal births and know I can do it. It is not worth the risk. If your uterus ruptures, you are done having children, if you live. I am sorry for being so blunt and putting more fear out there. I just don't want you to take the VBAC lightly. It is very serious. You can do it, just please do it in a hospital. I have been a nurse for 14 years and I have seen a lot. The most important thing is to have a healthy baby and mom. I would like to help, please contact me offline.

Hi K.,I will definitely pray for you! I just wanted to encourage you if vbac was an option to consider it. My mother-in-law has had many natural home births after having a c section in one of the earlier children. I know it's not for everyone but it's possible! And so much healthier for the baby.

If you want to go for a VBAC definately do! More than 75% of women who attempt a VBAC are successful and they are statistically MUCH safer than a C-section.

The best chance for a successful VBAC will come if you have a doula with you to help support you through your labor. Also - do abit of research. A VBAC should never be induced if possible.

Did you know the risk of uterine rupture is higher for a women who has NEVER had surgery but is induced, than it is for a non-induced woman doing a VBAC? :-) And doctors do inductions all the time.

Hire a doula. Find a supportive care provider (doctor or midwife) who will support your VBAC decision. Contact ICAN for more local resources and information - they have a Yahoo group that if very informative.

A. <><

Bless your heart!! Sweetie, it sounds like your little hormones are in overdrive :) I remember being pregnant and having nightmares, looking at my babies swing and feeling waves of sadness like maybe he wouldn't make it through delivery. I think it's normal, but pray and ask the Lord to balance you out. You and the baby will do just great!!! Congratulations :)

I don't know how much help I'm going to be with my response, but if you're "loony" about being afraid of surgery, then we both are. People hear all the horror stories about anesthesia going wrong for a routine operation all the time, and I felt the same way when I had all mine. (When I was eight and had my legs put up in traction, I woke up and actually asked the people to be careful! When I was assured they would be, I went back to sleep. Bet I gave THEM a heart-attack, lol.)

My point is, it never hurts to be ready "just in case." I don't think you have anything to worry about, but if something DOES go wrong, your family will have the benefit of having your thoughts down on paper. Not to mention the fact that you'll have peace of mind (well, better anyway) knowing you have that done. If you do come out just fine (like I'm sure you will), you can decide later to keep what you wrote or throw it away.

Just remember that whatever happens, God is in control. Put yourself in His hands, and you can't help but be peaceful.

Congratulations in advance on your new arrival. I'm sure everything will be great.

K.....
Please consider a VBAC...if your doctor isn't encouraging, find another doctor if you can. I just did a VBAC completely naturally and delivered an almost 10 pound baby after having my first only 21 months before by c-section. Your scar has had a lot of time to heal, so you shouldn't have to worry about rupture really. Also most women are able to give birth without intervention, they just don't believe they can. If you have time and Netflix...you should try to watch The Business of Being Born...it's a wonderful documentary on the status of birthing in the US and how it's become such a business.

Hope this helps! Please write me if you want to talk about it more.

K.-- It sounds to me like your fears might be exacerbated by hormones. When I was pregnant with my second son, I had all these irrational fears, especially as the due date grew closer, that I wasn't going to be able to handle two children. I remember my sister saying to me, "What are you talking about?? People have two children all the time!" But I just couldn't listen to reason-- I was convinced that I was in over my head, and I worried myself sick. I even had panic attacks, which I had never had before in my life. Then after I had my son, all that went away, so I think it was hormone-related. I think hormones can really wreak havoc on your state of mind-- they can cause anxiety and depression. It's hard to see that when you're going through it; I was convinced that all my fears were grounded in absolute fact. Looking back on it, it seems so silly, because it's true-- people take care of two kids all the time, and my second son has been a joy from the day he was born. I don't know if it helps to hear this, because no one could comfort me at the time, but maybe if you know logically that your fears are most likely hormone-related, that might ease your mind a little. The thing that seems so comforting to me about a C-section is that the situation is so controlled. My first son was facing the wrong way (I found out later), which caused complications that led to a vaccuum extraction. When my sister had a C-section, she chose the date, went in for the surgery, and 20 minutes later she had my nephew with no complications whatsoever. I know the recovery is tough, but I love how everything is so controlled-- it makes it feel so safe to me. Remember that everyone in the hospital is completely prepared for this procedure and knows exactly what to expect, and they'll take excellent care of you. Don't worry-- you and your baby will be safe and secure. Sorry this is so long!! Quick P.S.: my sister-in-law is going to have her second child by C-section on 8-08-08! What a cool birthday! My brother asked her if they could have the baby at 8:08 am, and she said, "I don't think you understand how hospitals work..." :) Good luck-- you'll do great!!

~B.

K.,

I think your fears are normal. Hormones can do crazy things to your emotions...can even cause very real fears and anxieties...some people even have anxiety attacks, etc that are brought on by hormonal changes. So, dont be so hard on yourself...just tell yourself that your fears are simply that...and try not to feed them. If you are a person of faith, know that God has promised to never leave you or forsake you and trust in His grace to get you through whatever the birth entails. With my 2nd pregnancy I had similar fears of dieing during childbirth and leaving my other son(then 17 months old) without a mother. I thought about leaving notes, getting my things in order, etc. So, I dont think you are looney. I even talked it over with my OB and he told me it was normal to have anxieties. My advice would be to talk about them to take away their power and name them for what they are. For example: you fear dieing during childbirth....tell yourself, that is fear. I have no reason to believe that will happen and there is nothing I can do to control it anyway...I refuse to give this thought any more energy. And think about something else, say a prayer, take a hot shower...whatever relaxes you. Leave it in the hands of the only ONE who can control the outcome anyway and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy (and take care of yourself...do something for yourself...a pregnancy massage is awesome!!!)

Prayers,
E.

I can tell you from personal experience that I wouldnt have changed the delivery of my two children for the world. The first had to be an emergency c-section and all I was praying for was a healthy baby. Fortunately, not only was she perfect, she still is at 27! She is amazing and the absolute joy of my life. My son was born seven years later, a planned c-section because it was such a 'non-event' as far as dangers go. He is perfectly healthy and I never once regretted that decision. Just pray about peace of mind for yourself and health for your baby. Because so much has changed technology wise since your last baby, you are in great hands! That precious daughter of mine entered medical school to become a doctor because she wants to bring babies into the world now! I can only pray for you,(and I will), then wish you the best!

First of all congratulations on your baby. I have had two c-sections and have had two good outcomes. I know that all these thoughts come and mess with your head, but trust me when I say it will be ok. Technology is so advanced these days that everything you are thinking is making you more nervous about the procedure than what it really is. Put all those fears aside and think a little bit more on the positive side, especially on the birth of a healthy baby. You will see that it will all turn out great. The recovery will be a little painful but be sure to take care of yourself first and listen to what your doctor tells you. It isn't as bad as it seems!! Good Luck!!

Hi K.,

I had a C-section in 1984 at St. David's. Everything turned out fine, I had an epidural, was awake, and I was grateful for that, our daughter was born by C-section on my husand and mine's 6th wedding anniversary. After 53 hours of labor I was so ready. I knew from my first pelvic exam I was too small and would have to have a C-sec. more than likely. I just wish they had done it sooner. I came through it just fine, have had no problems due to it. The scar is a bit tender at different times, whether changes etc, but no biggie. I will pray for your fears to ease. It is normal to be fearful of delivery no matter what way it comes about as the time gets nearer. It is gonna be alright. God Bless You.

Giving birth can be terrifying regardless of method.
Writing letters to family may be a way of reaching out for an ear or a shoulder, some kind of help. I read the descriptions of feeling "LOONEY" and like a "NUTCASE" and believe that you may be hesitant to find a counselor or psychologist to help you deal with these fears.

Rather it is hormones, past traumatic experience or any other factor, finding a non-biased professional to help ease your journey into surgical delivery may be what you need or maybe a sit down conversation with your family could help ease your mind.

Look for someone, you dont have to go through this alone.

I had a c-section in January. It was my first child. I went thru inducing and no luck. My child ended up being 10 lbs. I am a small person so she never moved down.

I was very nervous but all my friends have had c-sections and they were all rooting for one. After having one, I agree with them. It was easy and no pain.

Do not sweat it! If it helps ask them to turn on the radio, I did.

One thing I do suggest, the dr's will tell you to start walking asap. Do it! It helps with the recovery. I started scooting along at the hospital and continued at home every day.

K.,
I had the same fears with my 3rd c/section. Even on the day of my c/section I was literally lying on the table in the or with tears streaming down my face. I had the exact same fears you are experiencing. I just talked alot about it to friends and my ob so that he knew exactly how I felt. I think this helped me be a little calmer. Everything went fine and I now have 3 beautiful girls!

You have actually made me feel great about how I acted so no, you are not looney!...lol. I was the same way and you know what? U will be fine either way. Have faith in God and the magnificent womans' body. We are built to take so much from cycles, cramps, to childbirth. I had an emergency c-section and anyone that knows me is aware of how 'looney' I can become with pain and blood. My baby is beautiful, my c-section was fine, and I made it out in one (well 2 pieces counting my angel girl....lol.) Modern medicine is great and so is that "happy juice' they give you for nerves and contractions...lol. God Bless you sweetheart......YOU WILL BE FINE!

K., yes it is normal to have these fears. It is really the fear of the unknown and so much about a birth is unknown. My fear was that someone would take my baby and tell me it died - ok so I watch too many soap operas! Anyway, I had three c-sections and they went fine. I have come to believe, and my dr confirmed, that there is a correlation between weight and c-section. I don't know how your weight is but if you are carrying a lot of weight (I gained 65lbs) you may want to consider c-section a possibility. I think my scheduled section went the best and was way easier on my body than trying naturally first then having the c. If you had no problem last time with the birth, you shouldn't this time, even so get a good dr and then leave it in God's hands! Good luck.

K.,

I think you will be fine with your C-section. Trust that God will take care of you and your family. I will tell you that I had a VBAC 2 years after my first daughter was born. I was doing the VBAC hoping to recover from birth faster. As it turned out, I ending up having placenta stuck to my scar tissue from the C-section and I had to go in for an aggressive D & C (a week after my husband deployed!). The D & C caused severe scar tissue resulting in Asherman's Syndrome causing me now to be infertile. While this is rare, I do share it with those who are considering a VBAC. Do what is best for YOU, I know you are in great hands. Just remember to place all cares up to God and he will take care of you! He placed in my arms a third baby girl, this one from China! Many Blessings to you and your family!

Hi K.,

I just had my daughter 2 months ago and had a c section. It was initally not scheduled for a section , but as the day progressed that is what was decided was best to do. I had a epidural and the surgery went fine. I was very scared when they started preping me for surgery. All went fine...... During the procedure all you feel in pressure/them tugging on your stomach. In recovery I did start to feel some pain . Of course with medication you are kept comfortable.

The first day after surgery is probally the worst as you have to get out of bed and you are sore, BUT after the first day it was smooth sailing...... You will be sore, but if you had the baby vaginally you would be sore also. ( I have had friends tear severly and say they were very uncomfortable.) My incision is very small and looks great now..... Good luck you will do just fine........

I had irrational fears during my pregnancy also. They were totally nuts. I thought that it was related to pregnancy hormones. After I delivered my baby girl I was diagnosed with Post Partum depression and Post Partum OCD. I now know that my crazy thoughts were related to this condition. Talk to your doctor they may have some great advice for you and coping skills. Just get HELP!! No reason to go on like that!!

K.

My first pregnancy was so easy - no complications. In fact my labor was so fast by the time we got to the hospital thwy said you are going to have this baby within the hour. Then as I was pushing - they noticed the baby was too high. They could bring him down and his heart rate was decelerating. I remember hearing the heartbeat then not hear the heartbeat. The Doctor said you need a C-Section - I said let me try once more to push him out. The Doctor got in my face and we were eye to eye. He said listen to me you need a c-section and you need one now. Thank God for the c-section I have a healthy five year old. The recovery was tough but no it seems so long ago. Now with my daughter it was a planned c-section. The day we went in my labor was starting on it own. As they were checking the monitor for her heartbeat, once again I was told your baby is not responding well to labor. The nurse said I am so glad you are scheduled for today, because her heartbeat was dropping very low with every contraction. Since I did not labor as much as with my first- the recovery was much easier. All I can say in the end the goal is a healthy baby. I never thought I would not be here. Relax and listen to your doctor - talk to your family and your doctor do not try to face your concerns alone. I think "we" do this too much. We need the support and love of those who do love us. My advice is after the c-section take care of yourself. Let your husband and my family bring the baby to you. You need to heal. Do not try to be super mom - remember you had surgery. Take care and God Bless You. You are a strong, beautiful women who is about to bring a precious life into this world.

i don't have fears about c-sections but i DO turn into a completely anxious, crazy person when i'm pregnant and can just reassure you that it's totally okay. i have extreme fears of death or getting hurt as well. aside from trying relaxation techniques, talking it out with close family/friends, and doing what you need to do to feel better (the letter-writing, talking to the dr about the statistics of surgery complications), i'd recommend just knowing this will go away in time. i was loony for my first child and am loony again, so i know it's just temporary!:-)

It sounds like you may have had a traumatic birth expierence with the first one maybe?
I think I may have the perfect solution for you.
I just met this woman who owns a non-profit which helps people overcome trauma so they can face the rest of their life with confidence.
I know her through a very close and intelligent friend who recently connected me to her.
The name of the non profit is called Ravens Grove.
her web site is www.ravensgrovefoundation.org
I would really recommend some counciling with her.
Her name is Karen Hutchens and her number is ###-###-####.
she's at 3004 s 1st st in Austin.
I can't tell you how great of a person I think she is.
I haven't checked mamasource in a long time because I am really busy planning my wedding plus work , kid, etc.
I think it was meant to be, you should call her.
Good Luck!-Angela P.

K.,

You are not a nutcase, nor are you alone in having these feelings. I was crazy by the time my second c-section came around. My first was almost 9 years old, before my second one came along. I just kept thinking that he could tell his sister about me if something happenend. I found that talking to my doctor really helped me. I was able to have a VBAC, however, my body didnt' agree with that delivery method of delivery, so I had a second c-section. Make sure that you truly trust your OB/GYN and that your thoughts aren't related to that. Also, I suggest a spinal over an epidural. It was soooo much better!! I also requested to have 2 people with me during the surgery and had my husband and my Mom there. It made me feel better. Just remember - The odds are in your favor and everything will be fine. Just keep the faith!!

T.

a c section is a surgery. any surgery is a greater risk of infection, which can lead to death, etc. maybe you should read into doing a VBAC. they can be very successful!! Good luck

Why do you think a VBAC is dangerous? I've been looking into it and am wishing that I tried a VBAC with my third (my first two were emergency c-sections.) I've had FOUR c-sections and am only NOW looking into a VBAC. I recommend that no one go to the hospital unless they are sick. LOL I'm not trying to put more fears into you but there ARE risks and the risk of another surgery is really more then I'm willing to take if I can have a VBAC.

Check out ICAN who have lots of info on VBACs. I know SO MANY PEOPLE who have had VBAC and all but one did it just fine. One has tried for three VBACs and each time had a section BUT she tried. :)

Edited after reading responses- "All I can say in the end the goal is a healthy baby" Actually, the goal is to have a healthy MAMA AND BABY. That's why you should do your research! That's why I'm looking into VBAC possibilities for #5. I'm finding the risks increase with each section but decrease for VBACs in comparison...

Prayers for a peaceful and safe delivery,
S., mom to 4 girls and #5 due in March

Totally normal to feel scared. Do you trust your Dr.? The hospital? Why are you having a C-section? If you know all the answers & you feel comfortable then just relax. I know, easier said than done. Are you having one because your first was a C? Are you progressing normally or are there health risks? I don't know any mom to be who isn't scared of giving birth. (even a little) I've been through it too,(3 C-sections) you will be fine. Take a deep breath....It's the day of the Olympics..you might have a gold medalist on that day!!
Good Luck
Mel

Hi K.!!! You havent had that baby yet!?! hahaha
Dont worry about it. My daughter was a week overdue, so I was about ready to get her outta there myself!!! I would have to disagree with some. It IS a piece of cake. I went in on a Wednesday afternoon, had the c-sec, and by Friday was vacuuming the living room!!! The only complaint I had was that I was hungry, (they dont want you to eat like 12 hours beforehand)and when it was over, they dont let you eat again for what seems like an eternity. They will most likely tell you after the surgery, but get up and walk around as much as possible when its over. You'll be bouncing around before you know it!!!

You are going to be just fine!!!
For what its worth, two weeks til I had my kiddo, I kept dreaming that when I had her she would come out being a fish, lizard, you name it!!!! So, you see, your not COMPLETELY looney!!!! (maybe just a little!!!)

Good Luck and Congrats!!!!
Drop me a line!
Margaret :)

Dear K.!
Boy what pregnancy hormones csn do to us.. It is normal to feel this way and i am telling you from experiance! After I had my daughter my struggle of fighting to even carry till full term and than a 3 hour 45 min labor I had a beautiful baby girl. I miscarriaged 1 1/2 later and come to find out from a specialist thst I could never carry again. Well come 3 to four years later i was divorced and pregnant with my current husband and that scared him more than me for he had lost his twins and not knowin anything i was worried and went through the same thoughts of what if I didnt make it snd so forth. Well than here he came 3 weeks early and just fine... When my third came around omg it was hell from day one in the pragnancy i stopped gainin and the baby too it was a very emotional roller coaster and at 8 1/2 months later i was unable to drive long distances and get my rest. Well from my experiance with yes rough pregnancies but 2 great deliveries 4 and 3 hours long. We were facing a possible c-section!!!!!! OMG I was scared to death of the same thing you are thinkin but i stayed positive and even though i was scared i had talked to other moms and the hospital and doctors were great they answered every question and didnt leave me unsured. So once again the hormone and emotions of the pregnancy are crazy but everything is going to be good and you will not have anything to worry about and I know that it is easier said than done. But i wish you the best and if you need to talk i am here. Take care, good luck, and srry for the long book.

Sincerely, S.

Hi K.!

This is a total guess, but did you have an emergency C-section with your first baby, and were the circumstances around it scary or upsetting? If so, perhaps the trauma of the first birth is what is getting re-triggered for you going into a planned C-section now. I was very emotional about my own emergency C-section and it had a LOT of trauma and loss and fear connected with it. I've seen other women get very intense over pregnancies when there's an emergency c-section in the background -- in one case, I know of a mother who became very fearful around her daughter's impending birth; she was determined that her daughter would not be c-sectioned the way she was -- so in other words, her daughter's whole pregnancy and birth completely retriggered the painful emotions connected with her daughter's birth. If this is stirring up feelings to do with an old trauma, perhaps just knowing where they are coming from -- from behind you, and not as a premonition from the future -- will be helpful. You could also go online and check out treatments for post-traumatic shock disorder to see if there are any effective ways to help you to release the fears and awful thoughts that are haunting you (individual or group therapy, affirmations, meditation, hypnosis?) so that you can enjoy your pregnancy and make decisions from a place of calm assurance rather than from a place of fear. Unfortunately C-sections are a very, very emotional subject, so I think if you try to handle this as "c-section or VBAC" without dealing with whatever is stirring up this intense fear, you may have folks on either side of the debate actually intensify your anxieties -- doctors who oppose vbacs will cite extremely rare examples of vbacs that go badly, and natural birth advocates can see the very occurrence of a c-section as a catastrophe, a position I had absorbed and that made my own c-section and early months of motherhood much more traumatic than they needed to be. Both sides lose sight of the fact that healthy outcomes on either side are very much the norm.

Good luck!
M.

I think your fears are normal. I have 4 kids and every time I got really scared before the big day. Write the letters it will make you feel better. When you are 80 years old you can read the letters and smile. I think it is just pregnancy hormones they are so strong. They are strong for a reason.....but so scary at times.

Take care of your self. btw I will be 41 on 08/08/08 what a great birthday.

Debra

I think your fears are just emotional pregnant feelings and the fact that it has been so long since you have given birth. My children are only 3 years apart and I even had a c-section for the first child and I was STILL scared about having a c-section the second time around! The first one was an emergency c-section and it was awful. The second was a scheduled c-section with a different doctor and it was a piece of cake. My advice to you is to talk to your doctor and the nurses. They were SO helpful in making me feel comfortable. And since they knew I was nervous going in, they were very sensitive. I felt like an idiot for worrying -- but I just couldn't help how I felt! Good luck -- you will be fine. :-)

My very first hospital experiance was 14 years ago when I had my son vaginally and it was relativley quick and easy.

This past November I had a Baby girl. We decided on C-section because I had Gestational Diabetes and those babies tend to be larger, plus C-sections are less Traumatic on the baby. Needless to say, I was so scared! I had never had a surgical procedure and all those baby shows only made my fears worse. I know exactly where you're coming from, but let me tell you. It was awesome. No pain, you're awake so you don't miss the birth, but you feel and see nothing. Recovery was quick and I had no down time, just a little discomfort with things like getting out of chairs or onto our high up bed for about a week.

I wish I had had my first one this way instead of hours of labor pains and pushing and tearing. Really, it is a cinch and you will come out wondering what exactly you thought was so scary anyway.

Best of luck and blessing for you and yours!

Reading through your answers, I would be more confused and worried than ever. The fact is all births are different. Some people have easy C-sections, some people have easy deliveries, some people have great home births, etc... I have 3 children; 1 I did nearly die, 1 my son was born 7 weeks premature. The fact is no matter what you decide what may be great for someone else may not work for you.

First, realize your fears are not from God, 1 Timothy tells us that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Second, realize your fears are probably a mixture of hormones, and nerves.

I would tell you to write your letters, it might make you feel more prepared. Second, talk to your doctor about your fears. Last, find a good support network of friends, family, church.

Good luck, I am praying for you and I promise the changes from 1991 are so much better. I have a 3 year old and there is a big difference in age with his older siblings.

Your not crazy...your pregnant...I was a total nut..it didn't help that I have OCD...I was even more nutz than normal. LOL.
but seriously, talk to your doctor and spouse about it, let them know your fears and apprehensions and see if they can help you make rational decisions...maybe your DR will let you do a VBAC, if it is safe...
Good Luck and God Bless...and 0808 is a great b-day. my but yours will get 080808...how cool is that.!

Dear K.,
I have had two c-sections in the last 6 years and while I won't say they were a piece of cake, they definitely weren't life threatening. I had two high risk pregnancies and vaginal delivery for me was far more risky than the c-sections.

For each delivery, I had an epidural and was awake to welcome both of my children into the world. The epidural for my daughter was without any complication, but I have to say that I had some soreness around the site where they inserted the needle for about 3 months following the birth of my son. Other than that, things were great.

While I realize that a c-section is a great disappointment for many people and the reality is that it is major abdominal surgery, in my case at least, it was the best thing for me and my children. Try not to worry and look forward to the birth of your child.

Good Luck!!
D.

No you're not nuts at all. A c-section is major surgery (people tend to forget that) and with that comes risk. I had to have a c-section myself back in may due to carrying a 10 lb baby. I could have tried the VBAC and such as well, but my dr recommended a c-section so I went with it. It is a very scary thing to consider b/c I'd never had surgery of any kind in my life. You feeling like you're gonna die is just your mind being overwhelmed with the fear. I'm here to tell you, you're gonna be fine. The risks of a c-section leading to death in a well-staffed hospital are teeny. you actually have a better chance of injury on the way to the c-section (not trying to freak you out more, just trying to put things into perspective). Now, what it sounds like you have about this is classic anxiety. Quite severe if you're already writing good-bye notes, but totally expected in a situation like this. It may help to tell your doctor about these worries. Trust me, they won't think you're crazy. She may be able to prescribe something (temporarily of course) for you just to put your mind at ease. Don't ever think that you're nuts or crazy for being scared and having anxiety (and maybe even getting medical assistance for it) especially when you're pregnant. Hey, isn't this the only time we have an excuse to go a little nuts? Good luck with your c-section and I know you'll be back on this site telling us what a piece of cake it was and how beautiful your new baby is!

ANY surgery is scary. It's easy to get 'cold feet'. I personally had an emerg c-sec w/ my second baby. So, I didn't have much time to panic!!! I think you need to go to the library and check out the book The Secret. It basically tells you that the things you concentrate on effect your life. If you are constantly fearful and expect bad things...you are putting that out into the world. If you try to convince or at least pretend to be confident...you'll eventually feel more confident. You're not doing yourself or any family members any good by stressing at that level. Think about the outcome of this event. If something were to happen...will it really make you feel better that you spent all these months expecting it? Or, if everything turns out wonderful...you've wasted a lot of time worrying. I'm not saying don't worry at all...it's natural to worry about childbirth. I personally healed better and faster from the c-sec than the natural birth. I think w/ all the time negative thoughts are occupying your mind...it's taking up time and energy you could be using for being thankful. Maybe when you start feeling that scared feeling, start praying and thanking God for all you have and for the technology we have to be able to assist a safe delivery!! Many wishes for a safe/enjoyable birth!!! Good luck!

Dear K.,
Why so fearful? How did your last c/section go? You are not "looney", but full of a lot of fear. Do you know fear stands for "FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL." It's okay to be afraid, but don't yield to it. You have got to take your thoughts captive and every time you start thinking about your concerns regarding the c/section say, "these are not my thoughts." The majority of the time when I am writing to some of the moms, I mention God because "He is the source of my strength" and He is your source as well. I just feel led to pray for you right now:

Father,
I thank you for K. and her new baby. It is written in your word, "that your perfect love cast all fear" and I thank you that you take K. fears and cast them as far as the east is to the west and bring such a peace upon K. and comfort her and let her know that this baby is a gift from you and NO weapon that try's (fear) to form against K.,her baby or her family will prosper. I thank you that K. will know your love today and how much you care for her. Thank you Lord that your love covers all things in K. life. Thank you that K. will arise in the morning with a new song in her heart, a song of joy! Thank you Lord that it is written in your word that you say to K.: "So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you with my righteous hand. For I am the Lord your God, who take hold of your right hand and says to you; DO NOT FEAR: I will help you!" Isaiah 41-10
Be blessed and be at peace and enjoy the good things that are ahead. Thank you Father that your word does not return void.

Praying moms out there, its your turn. When two or more are gathered in His name, wow, there is power!!!! LOL-Live out Loud.

I haven't had a c-section, but when my son was born vaginally the doctor ended up having to use forceps to get him out. It wasn't bad at all, and his head was definitely NOT squished (at least not by the forceps -- it was plenty squished by the birth canal, as is normal!). He had a little bruising on the side of his head where the forceps gripped him, but it was gone within a day or 2.

As for whether trying a VBAC is a good option for you, that is between you and your doctor. You might try talking to your doc about your fears and see what he/she thinks.

Best wishes!!

Surgery is very serious so don't be so hard on yourself. However, I have heard of many cases where a csection can actually be safer for the baby! I have had TWO and both went great. The idea of pushing, feeling contractions and having something as big as my babies were coming out the other way actually freaked me out, so I was just the opposite!! Try to focus on the positive. It's over in like 15 minutes!! You don't have to worry about tearing downstairs and what terrible damage that can be in the longrun that many women face! You can plan for the delivery knowing exactly time and day - getting babysitters lined up and relatives ready, get that pedicure and pack pack pack! etc. I thought the csection was awesome and am so glad that it turned out I had mine both that way. I do NOT advise the VBAC!! That is a very dangerous decision. You would be risking you and baby's safety. Even though percent might be low - there is a risk of your uterus splitting open and that could be fatal. Stick with csection plans and be happy about it! And pray for peace about it too;-) Good luck and congrats!

You are by no means being irrational! A c-sec is after all abdominal surgery, I had these same 'feelings' when I had my gallbladder removed in an emergant surgery. I would like to encourage you to try the vbac if you're up to it though, natural childbirth has a lot less potential for complications and women have been doing it for years!

Best wishes!!

K.- I had an emerg. c-section with my daughter 10yrs ago. It was a little scarey but we both are fine. Now I am currently preg with my second child, with the possibility of havin to have a scheduled c-section. This time I am not scared, I talked with friends etc who had scheduled c-sections and they all say the same thing, your awake for it and you get to see the birth. I think its only natural to be a lil scared cause it is a surgery just try to relax and talk to your doctor and husband about these fears. congrads and gl

Hi K.!
I totally know how you feel. You have to remember that with a c-section, you are doing two really scary things. You are giving birth, which can be terrifying to someone for the first time. You are also having major surgery. These feelings would be normal even if you were having your gall bladder removed. I think that if writing the letters makes you feel better, then do so. But then, you should try to focus on how happy you will be when you hold your new baby in your arms! Remind yourself that cesareans are now considered so safe that women are opting to have them even when they aren't medically necessary. I had a c-section and now I feel like I prefer it to vaginal birth. Good luck!

No, you're not nuts. I am feeling the same way. Scared. I think it's normal to be apprehensive. I am trying to deal with it by thinking positively (even though it's hard) and remembering that the focus is on delivering a healthy child and not to worry so much about not being able to give birth naturally. Not to mention the longer recovery for c-sections. I am definitely taking Gas-X with me this time. The gas pains after my c-section last time were awful! In any case, I wish you the best.

K.,
I had 3 c-sections and all is well. It is normal to be afraid but you don't want your fears to consume you. The devil only has power of what you give him in which he doesn't know all he's not God he doesn't know our thoughts. We only give him power with our words and actions. I just said all of this so you'll know to claim a healthy safe delivery. It is smart to make plans for if something should happen to us but don't give the devil power over your life. Once I hit a really low spot in my life and I let the devil scare me with fear. I drove up to LakeWood church and had some really wonderful people pray over me and immediately my fears had left me. I'm not saying to do all of that but just pray to God and also claim a healthy safe pregnancy, and also just yell at the devil and tell him he has no claim on you and this baby and he is to get out of your house and let you alone. Sorry if you think I sound crazy but it will work if you believe. Also remember where two are more are gathered there also will be our father in Heaven in the midst of us hearing your prayer. By the way my first c-sec was and emergency, your able to get around the hospital a little quicker than the vag delivery mommas but it takes longer to heal. Just as long as I took my pain medicine I was fine. The second two was not as hard as the first c sec because they just re open the original cut. You'll be fine, just claim it.

I sure it is totally natural for you to be freaking out so much. I probably would have been freaked out too if i knew ahead of time that i had to have c-section. I just didnt have the chance to know ahead of time. i tried natural birth but my baby got stuck and i had to have a c-section. It hurts after the surgery, but recovery always does. Don't worry about dying during the surgery, its next to nil. Just concentrate on your child u have right now and on bringing your new baby into the world. Good luck!

I have had 2 c-sections. Doctors are very careful and don't worry one bit. You will do great! It took me about a week before I was up and running again.....plus, you can get your husband to help you out a lot more. :)

Congrats on your baby! I have had a few surgerys and was never afraid of them. My husband is very terrified to go under and has irrational thoughts like you describe. I assure you that you can certinaly talk to your doctor about your fears and he/she can talk you threw them and tell you what to expect. Also your fears arent irrational your going threw a hormone over load and everything is crazy. I had my frist 9lb 1 oz jan 14 and had him naturaly. Belive me I thought I was going to die that last week of pregancy. What to Expect While Your Expecting talks about irrational fears and brought me come comfort when I read it. I do belive that the power of encouragement is a very powerful thing. So encourage yourself when you get those odd thoughts like baby being harmed or you not making it when those thoughts breeze in your head tell yourself something like "I got this,. I can do this, Its in the bag, Pish all I have to do is lay back and there going to take the baby out safely, How blessed are we going to be to have a healthy family" Hope this helped. God bless you and your new baby! You CAN do it!

K.
Your fears of course are all natural, because a c-section is major surgery. I had a c-section with my first last August and I was only 22 at the time. Everyone has their own fears and opinions on c-sections but at the time for me it was the best choice. You see my son was stillborn when they told me he had passed I had the choice to have him by c-section that night or to wait until the next morning to induce labor. I wanted him in my arms right away. I think that a VBAC is something to be more fearful than a c-section, c-sections have been done so many times and well VBACS just really came into the mix and even still many doctors won't recommend it. You have a greater risk of having a uterine rupture and putting you and your baby's life in jeopardy than with a c-section. Do more research and talk both ideas and thoughts through with your doctor.