C-section / 3.5 Y Old Daughter Hospital Visit.

With each of my c-sections I had the older siblings meet the new baby. Just kept the visits short and sweet. My husband took most of the responsibility of caring for the older siblings and just let me and the new baby bond :) But they did come visit me in the hospital each day....and there was usually a special gift/book/toy for the older siblings to help keep them entertained while in the hospital room.

My girls have always come to the hospital to meet the new sibling. Honestly, I think mommy disappearing for 4 days would be very scary for a little girl.

I had a c-section with both my dd's. My parents were able to come down when I had my second dd. My bf stayed with me in the hospital while my parents kept my oldest. They did bring her in to the hospital to meet her new sister. I think it's totally up to you and your husband, if you would want to let her meet her new sibling in the hospital, or wait until you bring the new baby home. But I think definately prepare her for when mommy is going to be away in the hospital. Good luck and congrats on the new bundle of joy!

Like you, we have no family nearby. Our daughter was almost 4 last year when our son was born via c-section. She attended pre-school, so we wanted to keep her schedule as normal as possible as her life (and ours) was about to change (for the better!). After our son was born, my hubby picked her up from school and brought her to meet her baby brother. She couldn't wait! My hubby would pick up dinner and we would all eat dinner together. Then, he and my daughter would go home before bedtime. (I was able to read her a story before they left each night.) Then, every morning, my hubby brought my daughter to the hospital to see us (and so that I could fix her hair!). I wouldn't change what we did at all. I hope this helps!

Oh yes I would have her meet the baby in the hospital. It is important for them to be included on the big day! My son was 3 when his little brother was born and still talks about going to see him at the hospital.

Congrats on the new baby!

I had an emergency c-section with my second child. My first born was 3.5 just like your daughter. I had my first come visit in the hospital. I think it was important for him to meet his brother and to see that I was alright. I had a present for him when he arrived at the hospital and told him it was from his new sibling. He was very pleased that his brother already thought of him.
The visit does not need to be long but I think it is important for her to know she is an important part of your family that gets to participates in this new life immediately.

Good luck and congratulations!

Yes she should come to the hospital... I was in the same boat as you and I loved when I my oldest came to the hospital... he had the cutest things to say about his little brother.

Congratulations.

I had a c-section.... and my then 3.5-4 year old daughter, came to visit and see me and her baby brother.
It was FINE! And it was a very special time for her.
She came to visit me, as soon as I was recovered and out of the recovery room. She stayed with my Husband... .and he brought her to visit me everyday I was in the hospital. 3 Days I was in the hospital.
It is fine.
My Husband and daughter, when at home, would also call me at the hospital, before bedtime. THAT was important for my daughter.

AND, at home, my Husband took care of her... and I wrote down her "routine" for everyday... and it was fine. We also talked to her about it AHEAD of time, before I was in the hospital, so that she knew what to expect. THAT is important... to 'prep' your eldest child.... and explain what will happen when you give birth.... and for when she is at home.

When I was at the hospital, my Husband was with me and Grandma took care of my daughter. THEN, as soon as I was in recovery etc., my Husband went back home, and picked up my daughter, and they came to visit me. It was fine.

have a CLOSE friend, that your daughter knows well... and have that friend, HELP take care of and babysit your daughter, while you are having your c-section. AND have plenty of familiar toys or her loveys, with her.... so she feels comfortable... and they can do something together. THEN, your close friend can then, bring your girl to the Hospital to see you... when you are recovered etc. For example.

BUT, EXPLAIN to your daughter ahead of time, WHO will babysit her... while you are in the hospital... and what will happen.... a child needs to know what is going on... and clue her in.

all the best,
Susan

Wow, maybe it's Ohio, but I've had 2 c-sections, and was at home with the baby in less than 48 hours. 4 days sounds like a lot unless you really need the help. You should have your friend who is caring for you daughter bring her by daily, if only for an hour. It will be important, and I think you will regret waiting until your home.

When my second daughter was born my oldest daughter was 3.5yrs old too. We talked alot about what was gonna happen that day so she wasn't scared about me not being able to sing her lullabye at night for 3 days. I had to have my c-section earlier than expected due to a fall the previous week but Allie ( my oldest) had already been to the labor delievery with me a few times before so she wasn't scared. Plus there was tvs in the bed so my mommy's girl got to snuggle with me for a bit. My folks came up after my c-section so my husband couldnt go in with me and instead had to stay out with Allie. After the surgery my folks, hubby, and little sister got to see the baby before she went to the NICU of another hospital. Her lungs werent quite ready but a week later she came home. Everyday Allie came to visit me and it helped me soo much mentally. The only thing she couldn't understand was why kids werent allowed in the NICU but seeing pics of little sissy helped. My folks keep Allie busy during the day so that at nite she often passed out on daddy. When i came home, she just wanted to snuggle with me. She even would crawl into my bed when i was napping. (keep a pillow between the two of you if you have a c-section incase of restless toddler)
Just talking about what is gonna happen will help her the most. Taking a tour of the labor ward and maybe a little surprise for her and all will be ok.

I would have your husband go get her everyday and bring her to the hospital. You want to include her in everything and make her feel very special so she doesn't feel like the baby is now #1. She will miss you and knowing that she will see you, Daddy and new baby everyday will make it easier. Also, maybe have some small surprises for her when she comes, not necessarily gifts, but cards, something from the baby,flowers for big sis, etc. 3 1/2 year old will definitely need reassurance that she is not being "left" while new baby is with you. I know that's not what you intend to do but seems like thats how kids can think, especially if you have never left her before! Good luck!

I was blessed my parents flew in a year ago when my daughter was born. She will be a year next Tuesday.

I had them bring my son who just turned 3 to come to the hospital every day. It was very important for him to see me. He still talks about it. He and I are very close as we were inseparable. Now he is in school and if it wasn't for camp, school would have been an even harder transition.

With my C-section, I was in the hospital for four days and I actually had to stay another day as my daughter had a slight case of jaundice.

If my parents weren't available, we would have gotten one of our close friends to help but my mother and hubby were w/ me in surgery and my dad was with my son. My dad doesn't like hospitals, so he took my son out and about. My parents actually took my son every day while I was in the hospital. If you have close friends that can watch him, that's wonderful, if not, then your hubby can come by later with your older child and have a visit with you. It's very important that you explain that mommy is going to have a baby and will be in the hospital. "You can come by with daddy and visit with me and the baby."

My daughter was almost 4 when her sister was born. While I wouldn't let her visit until you are settled and comfortable, I think it is good for her to visit you in the hospital. Try to see it from her perspective. In addition to staying away from home which will be stressful, you are going to be absent. That might be scary for her. Or she might associate your absence from her life with the baby which migh cause some resentment. She also will be excited about the baby and I don't know if you want to deny her the joy of seeing her brand new sibling. Or deny her some bonding with the baby in a controlled setting where she can walk away and go home for awhile - makes it a more gradual introduction. Also, not letting her come might make the whole idea of hospitals and doctors scary too. Let her enjoy the new baby with you and let her see you are okay and accesible to her and thinking of her.

As for your worries about leaving her, I completely sympathize - I would be a basket case. However, she will proabbaly have a blast on her "sleepover." It still might be stressful for her, but I bet she will report lots of fun had by all!

Side note: the best piece of advice I got is to let my older daughter visit me alone before holding the baby. Let her see you and cuddle with you before you pick up the baby o she gets a moment with "her" mommy before the interloper gets in the way :) Congrats!.

your hubby can stay with her at night? since he won't have to be at the hospital during the day... you can bring her one day for a little while to meet the new baby... maybe have a toy from the new baby to big sister or big brother... like the baby gives the child a gift... this helps.. good luck..

I highly reccomend having your daughter meet her new sibling in the hospital! Before I had my daughter, my son (15 months) would not want me to hold or be around other babies BUT when he came to the hospital (he was 17 months old) and saw me in the bed with his new sister- he knew it was different and the photographer took a shot of him seeing her for the first time and it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! I think it would be strange to just come home with a new baby. I vote for the hospital!

We also had limited access to family/friends when I had my second child via c-section. My daughter was slightly younger (about 27 months). She went to daycare that day - my csection was first thing in the morning. She knew the baby was coming that day so Dad went to pick her up at the normal time and brought her by the hospital. Her baby brother had a present for her and she for him. They exchanged gifts and she stayed for a couple hours. My husband actually did not stay with me at the hospital - we thought it best to try and keep things somewhat normal for my daughter for her to stay at home. GL!

Children should be included. If you have a trusted friend to watch your daughter on the day of you c-section then go that route. I'm sure your husband will want to be in the O.R. with you and so you will need someone to watch your child....unless you can have that trusted friend (or relative) stay in the waiting room with your child. After your surgery, you will be exhausted and your husband can go home to be with the older child and possibly return later for the official visit. You can expect to be in the hospital for at least 3 days (4 days is a little long, depending on your recovery process). I've had 3 c-sections and I am currently pregnant with #4 (will be another scheduled c-section as well) so I know the routine of c-sections fairly well. My husband doesn't stay overnight at the hospital with me. He goes home and comes back later with our other children. This time around it's likely my children will be in school when I have my next baby. You will figure it out and it will all work out fine.

I will be having my second cs monday and have a 4 year old daughter. We plan on her coming after the birth and then visiting throughtout the rest of our stay.
She is quite worried about me for the birth and if she were not able to see me, and be reassured that I made it through ok would be way too stressful.
We also feel like she needs to be a part of this as much as possible. Feeling at all left out will cause some major issues with her behavior, and her feeling toward her new brother.
Our plan is to do shorter but more frequent visits. She would be climbing the walls and it would be tiring for me if she were there for a long period of time at once. So Daddy will be going to get her often and then the family members that will be taking care of her will bring her some as well.
She has a bag sitting with mine to bring for the hospital. It has some puzzles, coloring things, workbook, reading books, and little animals. Some of the things are new as well. So when she is there we are hoping things will go well, and she can just be around to get some mommy time.

Plus whether I am sore, or tired, or miserable I still will want to see her. I could not go through something so monumental without my baby girl being a part of it.

Let the baby meet the new baby. Like Heather H, my husband took care of my older child while I bonded with the baby. They stayed there as was tolerable for my preschooler and then they went home and came back.

I would say definitely include your daughter in the big day!! This is a big time in her life too, she is becoming a big sister and she should be one of the first to meet the newest member of her family. One of my favorite pictures is still the moment that my oldest met our son at the hospital, you could see the love she had for him right away. I had c-sections too with all 4 of mine and we had family bring them up to the hospital within a couple of hours of the baby being born. This worked really well for us as they weren't scared watching you being wheeled away with IV's etc, weren't bored waiting, it gave my hubby and I some time alone with our newest addition, and then allowed us to focus our attention on them and their special new role in the family. We gave our older ones the special privilege of announcing the baby's name to the rest of the family and I had bought some little gifts (color books, reading books, play dough) for each of them from the baby that kept them entertained each day when they came to the hospital to visit. If you feel up to it and your doctor will do it, maybe see about being released a little earlier. I had my last two in the morning on a Tuesday and went home late in the day/early evening Thursday. I think that my older ones needed life to get back to normal as soon as possible. Good luck and Congratulations.