C-section Moms

Updated on August 14, 2007
K.L. asks from Portland, OR
7 answers

has anyone out there had a c-section? I did- two years ago and it still gets to me. I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC today, and, like other times, watched a om give birth vaginally, and started to cry...again. I get so mad and frustrated that I didn't get to do that. I wonder if I ever will.
I had an unplanned C-section. It was absolutley necessary. My mid-wife suggested it. And i know if a mid-wife suggests that, it must be necessary.
I didn't want it, but by that time after pushing, i just wanted him out of me.
He's healthy and happy, but it still bothers me.
Does anyone else feel like this?

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So What Happened?

I got soo much advice from you guys.
It helped just to know that I'm not the only one who feels like they got ripped off b nature.
The Dr. who "delivered" me said my son was wearing my pelvis like a little hat. He was too big, and I was too small.
The main nurse who was helping me said that I DID have natural childbirth cause i didn't have an epideral and I pushed for an hour and a half ( what my mom said) I have no idea. Too long!
I wound up with PPD, but I'm better now. I was on Zoloft and had a very good therapist to help me through it. I'm better now- I have been for a year and a half.
I'm pursuing my goal of getting my BA in history at PSU- I LOVE it there!
I feel happy in general, but I till think about my section. I'm a very strong person, and kind of felt like i let people down. My husband is and was wonderful through it all. He was there with me the whole time. He held my hand during the surgery, and he knows I didn't have much of a choice. He was with me during my labor, rubbing my back and my arm.
Anyway- thanks to everyone for the advice!

More Answers



answers from Portland on

I ended up having a c-section after 8 hours of labor and then 4.5 hours of pushing. Two nurses, a doctor and a midwife all agreed that this baby was not coming out. My doctor told me that the opening in my pelvic bone was like an egg shape and too narrow for my son to pass through. I was required to get an epidural after pushing for so long and that also slowed things down in the contractions, they became weaker and less frequent. I asked if they could use a vaccuum or forceps, but my doc told me he wasn't down far enough, he was suck at 0 station and he needed to be +2. So that was that, I was scared and felt a little robbed, but one of my nurses told me I could claim a natural birth because I got so far unmedicated and said I did a great job and that thought always makes me feel better.

I get sad when I watch "A Baby Story" also. If I go with the same hospital next baby, I can't try a VBAC so when the time come, I think I'll first look for a doctor who will let me try that.



answers from Portland on

I've had many of the same feelings as you. I used a midwife because of their lower c-section rates, and told her I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs. Unfortnately, it didn't work out, and I had to have one. My little (big!) guy just refused to come down the shoot!

I've alternated between feeling robbed of a "real" childbirth experience, and relieved both my son and I are ok. We too are planning on just one child, so I won't have the chance to try again. I just keep reminding myself to that God for the option of a c-section, because if it had been 100 years ago, chances are very good that either my son or I or both of us would not be here today.



answers from Portland on

Hi K.,

I gave birth to all my 3 kids by C-section and the reason was CPD - or cephalo-pelvic disproportion. In my understanding, it has to do with my pelvic bones which was too small and disproportionate to the baby's head so he could not come-out vaginally. I was in labor for many hours and tried to deliver normally but failed until I collapsed due to pain, fatigue/energy drained. That was why my ob-gyn decided to do a C-section on me. Then later, I found out that my son had the umbilical cord all over his neck which means that if my doctor used a different method to force a normal delivery, that would have put my son's life in danger. I gave birth to my two other kids after that, in C-section and i didn't have a problem.

I have seen other Moms who after delivering their babies have gotten well but their babies were left confined in the hospital (in critical condition) with all the tubes connected because the Mom waited too much and wanted so much to deliver normally and it was too late; when they finally decided to have a C-section (to save both their lives: Mom and the baby's), severe damage was already suffered by the baby while inside the Mother's womb.

I think you should have a serious talk with your midwife and the surgeon why it was necessary to do a C-section on you to provide a closure on the issue.



answers from Portland on

Hi K.. Having a cesarean birth affects women differently and your story is not unique. Have you thought about attending an ICAN meeting? (International Cesarean Awareness Network) If you are in Milwaukie, Oregon, there is a local chapter in Portland that meets once a month.

Secondly, I would tell you to talk to your provider early about having a vbac. (vaginal birth after cesarean) Although it is getting more difficult to find a provider willing to do vbacs, they are out there. I'm not sure who your midwife is, but chances are she can talk to you more about it.

60-85% of women attempting to have a vaginal birth after a cesarean do deliver vaginally. Hiring a doula has been shown to decrease your chance of having a cesarean by 50% or more. Something to consider.

Hope this is helpful. Best wishes as you continue to heal.



answers from Portland on

Yes I was disappointed in my labor that turned c/s, I thought about it for a year afterward, and thinking that was my last child, made me sick that it didn't turn out the way I planned.
His cord came out 1st and the Epi didn't work so they had to knock me out for the surgery, I lost alot of blood (was amemic before labor) and the recovery was long.
Well 2yrs later our surprise #4 came along and I was determined to have a vaginal birth, it took alot of research and lots of paperwork, had to change doctors. But it turned out to be the most beautiful of my 4 births.



answers from Portland on

When I past my due date and my daughter was not droping, I didn't think anything of it. The doctors let me go 3 weeks over due, just waiting for me to have contractions, and for her to drop... needless to say nothing happened. I was signed up for a c-section. They told me not to worry, I could have a v-bac (vaginal birth after cecarian) if I chose to have another baby. I was upset and confused. I had already carried her for almost a year... why wasn't she coming out. We planned the c-section and out she came, day and time just how I picked it. 3 1/2 years later we got pregnant again. This time I was determined to have him v-bac style. Low and behold 2 weeks after my due date came and went, they wanted me to plan for another c-section. I begged not to, my sister had just had two normal deliveries and I was starting to feel a little like a failure, like I wasn't good enough to experience "real childbirth". 31/2 weeks after my due date we planned, reluctently, to have yet another c-section. Our wonderful son was born once again just as we planned, day and time. Now that our children have grown a little we decided to maybe try again... When I went in for a check up they discovered that I have a fused pelvic bone and could really NEVER deliver Vaginaly. Why this was never found before astonishes me to this day. I have made the decision not to have any more children because of the horrible way a c-section has ravished my body, I was recomended only to have 2 or 3 at the most because of the scar tissue it leaves behind. When a conversation comes up about how long your friends or sometimes just a stranger was in labor for, and they start to play the game of who's was worst... I just say, "oh Labor... ya I didn't have any." They always look at me with a little jealousy, which makes me feel good. But still I understand where you are coming from, it makes me feel like I missed out on something good. And for me, I will never be able to experience it.



answers from Portland on

I did not have a c-section but I know many women who have and feel the same way you do. I am about to become a childbirth educator and I have read several books on VBACs and I would recommend for you to read one (even if you aren't planning on having another baby soon) just to give you the understanding and confidence in your body to have a vaginal birth in the future. I would also recommend seen a post-partum therapist that specializes in working through birth trauma. They can help you deal with your disappointment and sadness so that those feelings won't interfere with your next birth, because feelings of doubt and fear can hinder a successful vaginal birth.

Two books that I would recommend would be "Silent Knife" by Nancy Wainer Cohen and Lois J. Estnerand "Natural Childbirth After Ceasarian" by Elizabeth Kaufmann. And a good resource site for moms work through tough feelings after having a baby is babybluesconnection.org

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best on your future vaginal births. :)

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