Bye Bye Binki.

Updated on February 08, 2010
K.L. asks from Casper, WY
46 answers

I have a 20 month old daughter. She still uses a passifire. I had her only using it at night and naptime but she has been sick lately and I have let her have it more often. She is better now and the Dr. told me she needs to get rid of it, I know this is not going to be easy as she wont sleep without it. Anyone have any suggestions?

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A.H.

answers from Grand Junction on

I have heard that if you cut a small hole in the end of the pacifier, they don't work as the sucking mechanism and the children lose interest in them. I also had a friend that bought her daughter a new bike (or anything she may REALLY want) and had her pay the cashier at the store with all of her binkis. It was a process, but a positive result with something she was proud of - buying herself something she wanted more than her binkis.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

HI K., My little by was 16 months when I forgot to bring his pacifier to the babysitters. He slept like a champ for nap, so I didnt give it to him that night, and he slept really well. For the following 3 days, he cried and kept looking for it, I just told him it was all gone. I think the 3 days were harder on me. Hang in there. If you think it will go well, it will.

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L.L.

answers from Denver on

My daughter was two and it was hard for her to give up her pacifire. I couldnt do it, so a friend of mine, walked my daughter over to the trash can and right in front of her, took siccors and cut the end off and told her it was broke and threw it away. She never asked for it again. I know that sounds really mean, but she was fine from there on out. Another way may be to try and trade it for something they may want more.

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C.F.

answers from Denver on

you know your babe better than the doc. i would let her keep it for now, take your time. she won't be walking down the aisle with it. you'll know when she's ready to start letting go of it, and she will be. babies and kids' sucking needs can last until 3 or 3 and a half, and if they need to suck they need to suck! doctors have these one size fits all schedules that they recommend, but i don't think they work for everyone. don't stress, she will be just fine, let her suck and sleep, and you too.

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

Take her to Build a bear and put the binki in the bear so she will have something new to cuddle.

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B.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My sister-in-law threw a "bye-bye pacifier" party for my nephew shortly after his second birthday. She invited the neighborhood kids over for ice cream and cake. They tied all of his pacifiers to balloons with helium in them and let them fly away. I'm not sure it was the best thing for the environment, but it seemed to work for them.

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L.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have 8 children. My youngest is 17. 4 used pacifiers, three sucked their fingers and one didn't use anything. The pacifiers were much easier to break the habit with than the fingers. My aunt also had 8 children and told me to take the pacifiers away from the babies cold turkey at 9 months. I found that with each one they cried for one nap time and then were fine. The older the children are the harder it is---for me I realized it was because I was conditioned to use it as much as the child. It is hard to listen to a crying baby. I let one of my children have the 'plug' longer than 9 months because he got sick. It was harder for me to let it go. I put it in the drawer "just in case he needed it" Every day I would give in and let him have it. We lived on a farm at the time and were not close to town. He only had one plug so I took it and threw it into the cow pasture as far as I could throw. There was no way for me to dig through the muck---nor was I tempted to. My baby cried for a little that day and then we were both fine. One friend had her child throw the pacifier away themselves. I saw on the Nanny that the kids tied their pacifiers to helium balloons and let them go into the sky so that the binkie faries could catch them and take them to babies who need binkies. I really did find that cold turkey on the pacifiers works the best. Good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Have a "Bye Bye Binki" party.....talk to her about binki leaving to go to someone else's house and have a mini celebration and then let her put binki in a box or something as she says goodbye.....

I have a friend that let her daughter assist (her hands on top of mom's hands) her as she cut the nipple part of the binking off over the garbage can.

There is some emotional/mental connection made by the toddler when they see that binki isn't coming back, ie. the binki is cut up or boxed up and sent away....they make that connection....maybe consider giving her a "gift" of something in place of the binki as binki goes bye, bye that could be used at bedtime instead-a safe type stuffed animal/dolly or a snuggly blanket.

Good Luck!
A.

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H.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter didn't want to give up the pacifier either. So I had to make it her idea. She is very headstrong. I cut the corner of the part of the pacifier she put in her mouth (this is really quite funny because it won't stay in) and she would put it in her mouth and it wouldn't stay in she walked around for awhile holding it in her mouth and I told her that it was broken and she needed to throw it away. She finally did that. Just be prepared maybe do one a day (my daughter had quite a few of them and still found some after I thought they were gone) But I would try doing that with one and always have a back up just in case you can't make it through the night or she won't go to sleep. It is hard to just let them learn how to put themselves to sleep but it will work, she will figure it out. Good Luck!

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K.M.

answers from Boise on

Hi K.,

I've recommended this to other moms that have had great luck. Gradually cut away the tip of the binky every couple of days. The binky gets shorter and shorter and it eventually becomes too hard to keep in the mouth and it's not desirable for the child anymore. They will give it up themselves without any fight. Moms I've known to do this spread it out over a 2-week period and didn't have any problems. This came recommended from a pediatrician, so it's perfectly safe! Good luck!

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L.O.

answers from Pueblo on

I have one daughter and one son and I have done the cutting off the tip thing with both of them. They were each about 18 months old when I did it. With my daughter I cut the whole thing off and showed her and said that sometimes things break and you just can't fix it. With my son I actually cut it off in front of him and gave it back...I was feeling kinda mean that day I guess. Anyway they never asked for it again. Before you do a thing like this you do have to make sure that there are no more binki's left in the house, car, etc. My son found one in the car about a month later and tried to have it. I just simply said that was for babies and we need to throw it away and he did! Good luck I know it is difficult to break any habbit. It only takes about 3 days to get use to something new.

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D.S.

answers from Billings on

If you don't feel that it is necessary to get rid of it, don't. Don't let your doctor tell you how to raise your child. My son is three, and we just got rid of his. He was very attached to it, very! We told him he was going to leave his binkies on the counter and the binkie fairy would come and take them and leave a special prize. When he left them on the counter, he said "bye bye binkies", and never looked back. He asked for them a few times, but never cried like we thought he would. I think the reason he did so well with it is because we let him have it for so long. I t hink he was ready to get rid of them. I think if we would have tried it earlier it would have been horrible.
Maybe cut her back to bedtime and naptime, but YOU make that decision. It drives me crazy when doctors tell people what they have to do. Do what you feel comfortable with.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I had one daughter who was a binki addict. When we gave it up, we went cold turkey & she had a hard time going to sleep for a couple of days, but then she was fine after that. It was difficult to get her to sleep for those couple of nights, but once she was asleep she did fine. It's kind of like having a new pillow, or sleeping in a strange bed. It's weird for all of us, but we adjust quickly. We just threw away all of the binkis and told her they were all gone. Then we did the normal bedtime routine and then gave her "something to think about" while she fell asleep. She cried for awhile. We would go in every 15-20 minutes and help her calm down & talk to her for a few minutes. Like I said, it took awhile the first night - a little less time the second night & by the third night she went right to sleep.

Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm going through the same thing w my 25 month old daughter now. My dr recommended going cold turkey. She also said that it takes 14 days to break a habit. So expect extra crying for the next 2 weeks. The binky fairy/trading in for toys sounds better, but I don't believe my daughter understands that concept yet. let me know what works! good luck!

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A.N.

answers from Grand Junction on

hi K.
we have bootcamps with our kids. example...when my oldest needed to stop using a bottle and go to sippy cups, we started by giving her bottles only at nap time and bedtime, mon-fri. sat and sun were absolutely no bottles, just sippy cups. we called it bottle bootcamp. bed time boot camp, potty bootcamp, etc. i only suggest being available to your daughter for the weekend, cause, like mine, she will scream and cry. but come the following monday, she ws just sippy cups. it worked. well. good luck

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L.C.

answers from Pocatello on

My son was very attached to his binky and he was about your daughters age when we got rid of it. He kept waking up in the night yelling for his binky and I was done having to get up in the middle of the night. So one morning I cut the tip off the binky and when he went to put it in his mouth he discovered it was "broke". He tried it a few times and eventually threw it away himself and he has never gone back to it. Good luck.

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L.J.

answers from Missoula on

K.,
We took the binki away from my son when he was a little over 2 and he turned from being one of the best sleepers into being a horrible sleeper. He was without it for about 2 months, but recently my doctor said to try and give it back to him so we did. He has been sleeping better and making life a lot easier! The doctor said that kids will get rid of the binki when they are ready and if they need it to get to sleep that it's okay to have. Hope this helps!

L.

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M.L.

answers from Cheyenne on

I tried everthing to get my son off his pacifier. Finally right before his second birthday, I was fed up. His speech was delayed and seeing a two year old (who looked like a 4 year old because he's such a big boy) with a pacifier in his mouth just didn't look right. I would go through the house and throw them all away and he would be fine, then he find one somewhere and it was back to square one. This sounds really mean, but I bought some No Bite nail polish (it tastes awful!!) and put some on every pacifier he found. His tongue would barely touch it and he was completely grossed out, he actually threw his own pacifiers away!

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B.A.

answers from Boise on

Hello K.,
I feel for you on this one. Though it has been quite a while, I can remember it like it was last week. My son had a hardcore binki addiction. We began to feel a need to ditch the sucker around the same age your girl is now. It turned out that one of the everyday dramas surrounding binki-usery came to our aid as a natural consequence. My son's pacifier was always getting lost. We had spares on hand for just such emergencies. Of course, the baby doesn't know this, which is why the age is so perfect. Right now your child is old enough to grasp the concept of "gone", "lost" or just plain "out". They don't yet know that you can just go to a store and pick up another. (She will soon, so now may be the time.) One morning, when the binki went missing, we just played along and "looked for it" with him. It just never was found. Of course, there was some sadness at next nap time,but somehow, he got it that it was gone, and adjusted. It really took about a day. But like other posters here, I agree that the child should guide this process, not the doctor. If she still needs it, wait until a time that feels right.
B.

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't know if she is old enough for this yet...but I love the idea that I saw on super nanny. You have her walk around and collect all the binkis and but them in a bag. Then you hang the outside on a tree. You tell here that there are other little children who need the binkis and that the binki fairy is going to come and get the binkis and share them with the babies who need them. And because she is so great and helping the babies, the binki fairy is going to leave here somehting special. Then the next morning, go out to the place where the binki's were and have a gift wrapped up so fun and cute with something she realy wants in it. Like I said, this is a cute idea, but they usually do it with older kids...like 2 or 3 so I'm not sure if your 20 month old would understand the concept...but I'll let you be the judge. Good LUCK!!!

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T.N.

answers from Pueblo on

Relax! The doctor's advice is good advice, but getting rid of your daughter's pacifier doesn't have to happen overnight.

My daughter was the only child of four who clung to the pacifier until she was well over two years of age. I just began to slowly make it "disappear" for longer and longer periods of time. We would "search" the house together for her little pal. At first it took maybe 10 minutes to "find" it; then, 15...20...30. If she was particularly distraught, I would rock her and read to her or do whatever else it took to distract her. Sometimes we would slip backwards a bit, just as you have during your baby's illness. Don't worry though! This is not an obstacle you can't get over or around. It will happen, I promise, and truly, dependency on a pacifier is easier to eliminate than is dependency on one's thumb!

I think doctors sometimes place an urgency on certain issues that make young mamas unnecessarily anxious. Again, RELAX. For a little one, any task is easier when his/her mommy isn't a bundle of nerves! A few years from now you will look back down the road and wonder why you spent so much time worrying about a pacifier! :^ )

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J.D.

answers from Great Falls on

As a mother of three and a daycare provider, I have seen many tricks from cold turkey (not pleasant for anyone), to "donation" - if your child has the language to reason with, you can ask her to "donate" or give her binkies to a baby that really needs them now that she is a "big girl" (hard to do), some can convince the child to throw them out after proclaiming they are "yucky", I even had a parent put salt, lemon, salsa, or other bitter liquids on the binky to discourage use. The quickest and easiest idea I have seen is to start "trimming" the bulb of the binky. Using scissors, snip a tiny bit off the end of the bulb, it won't hold air and will be more difficult to suck on....every few days, snip off a bit more, until there is so little left, the child can't comfortably hold it in their mouth and may think it's "broken" and want to toss it. Also, go back to restricting use for naptime only. If she demands it, make her lay down when it's in her mouth. She may find all the "resting" completely boring, and decide she only wants the binky when she's actually tired. Hope this helps! PS - I have always kept an emergency binky hidden away for MELTDOWNS, they're bound to happen!

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B.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

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D.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

here are a couple ideas that have worked for other moms. one had a pacifier party where they gathered all the pacifiers put them in a box and wrapped it up. i think they had a new baby in the family on the way so they "gave" the binky's to the new baby. another idea i have heard is to cut the ends of the pacifier off and let her have them back. since they don't really work anymore, the girl eventually just got bored with tryign to get them to work and gave them up herself. hopefully one fo these will work for your daighter. good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Grand Junction on

My little sister, a perpetual pacifier sucker, gave it up cold turkey by giving it to the Easter Bunny. I suppose it was kind of like the tooth fairy. They just set it on the counter and the next day she had a huge chocolate rabbit in its place.

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K.H.

answers from Billings on

My son had his until almost 2 years old. Only at bedtime and nap. We started by getting rid of it at nap time by letting him have a treat when he got up. We'd set the treat on his dresser so he could see it when he went to sleep.

My second daughter was using hers when she wasn't supposed to and I told her that I was going to throw them away. She cont. and I through them away. She never used them again.

I did the same thing as above with my third daughter. Once they were gone they were gone. The first few nights were rough but it didn't last long. Good Luck.

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M.O.

answers from Denver on

A good friend of mine had the Binki Fairy. The story is that there is a little babies in the hospital (You might be able to take a field trip to a nursery for her to see the babies) who need binki's. If she leaves the binkis in a bag on her door at night, then the binki fairy will leave her a gift for being so thoughtful and considerate to the other babies.
After she is alseep take the binkis and leave a gift bag with tissue paper and baloons and a gift! You can even have a girlfriend of yours call and pretend to be the binki fairy, thanking her for the binkis.
Good luck! Mine is a thumb sucker.....I can't take that away ;)

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

my mother in law snipped the ends off her kids' binkies and told them "it broke"

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I have to say, the idea for taking her to Build A Bear is an AWESOME idea. The only suggestion I have is to cut the end of the nipple off--my friends had to do this with their 2 1/2 year old who refused to give hers up. It worked like a charm!

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J.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

K.
Don't worry, your daughter will sleep without it. It will just take some persistence and patience on your part. Stick to your guns and mean what you say.

My son loved his pacifier too. Our dr told us that they don't need it and they need to learn to self soothe which makes sense. she also said that the longer you wait the harder it'll be because their long term memory gets longer and longer so the sooner you take it away, the less they remember about it and the shorter the tantrum.

we weaned my son off it at nap times first and then bed time. he only cried 2 times and not for very long b/c we had him throw it away and told him he's a big boy. he knew there wasn't one in the house so there was nothing we could do when he wanted it. we just reminded him that it was thrown away and he didn't need it anymore. it was a pretty quick fix and they adjust quickly.

i think it's harder on parents than the kids. but just mean what you say and don't have the temptation of back up binkis for when they're having a fit cuz then they learn to throw a fit to get it and it intensifies rather than what you really want to happen.

hope that helps.

J.

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

Put her PACIFIER (all of them) into an envelope and tell her you have to mail them to other little girls who need pacifiers to help them through the night, that she no longer needs them because she's a 'big girl' now. Have her seal the envelope and put it in the mail box.
(I saw this on SuperNanny)

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K.V.

answers from Salt Lake City on

well this is what i did when it was time for a nap time or bed time i put him in bed with me which i don't usually do and i distractded him by reading to him watching a cartoon he like's talking to him tickeling his back i put the passifire were he would not know were it is and if he would say it i would ignore him or i would say if u get your binky u have to go to your bed by yourself he would much rather be in bed with me and when he fell asleep i put him in his bed at night he woke up a couple times asking for it but we got through it :) good luck

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

I've heard that poking a hole in it works... I've got a daughter that's 21 months and she only uses it at night. We will begin to ween her off soon too but I always think it's best to figure out what works for your family. The docotor can suggest things but each child is different. And I'm sure yours will give it up soon.

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M.D.

answers from Pocatello on

Jo Frost from the Super Nanny suggested to have a big thing where you get the child involved and you put it in a paper bag or something and leave it by the front door for the binki fairy. Then when your child is asleep you leave sparkles and boas and things that a fairy would leave all around where the bag had been. (maybe even a new gift to take to bed??..something to remember the binki fairy by)
It would get her involved, and you can always remind her that the binki fairy took her binki because she's a big girl now!!!

Good luck

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

I like the last one. Cool idea. I've heard that cutting the end off can help. Never had one who took a paci, so I don't know from personal experience, just what I've heard. GL I'm dreading getting rid of the thumb!

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I feel like I'll be in the same boat five months from now. my son's 15 months, and is in love with his pacifier. A few times though, we've lost it in the morning and haven't found it until bed time and he seemed to get over it about an hour after we lost it and stopped looking. maybe it'll just take cold turkey? even though thats a terrifying thought for me, and probably you, maybe that will lessen the worries of trying to explain to such a young child that they can have it sometimes, but not others.

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L.G.

answers from Denver on

We used the Santa story. Perhaps you could try Easter Bunny. Tell her that she should round up all her binkis and leave them for the Easter Bunny who will take them, clean them up and give them to new babies who need them. It would be a wonderful gift for her to leave and perhaps you could "reward " her with something else like a small stuffed animal (bunny?)that she can sleep with instead of a binky. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Denver on

I feel your pain, I went through the same thing wih my son when he was 15 months and hes 5 now. Honestly it was tough and it took a week to get him used to not sleeping with it. I had to hide it from myself so i would not give it to him and we both cried ourselves to sleep that week. Months later i was putting some clothes away and found it. The best thing i did was hiding it from myself because it was hard letting him cry himself to sleep but it worked. Good luck!

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B.O.

answers from Pueblo on

I had the same problem but it was my mother and husband that did not want to take it away. You need to tell her she's a big girl and convince her to throw it away on her own. If you don't get it away from her now she will have dental problems when she grows up. My daughter has a tongue thrust (this is caused by learning incorrect swallowing due in part to the pacifier). This pushed her top front teeth outward and she also has an open bite (her teeth don't overlap like normal teeth do). The only way to correct this problem is with orthodontia (braces). She needs to be seen by a dentist to determine if she is going to have problems. The earlier she gets them corrected, the easier and cheaper it will be. I was a dental assistant and saw this a lot in kids that suck their thumb or had a pacifier too long. I don't mean to alarm you, just want you to know what the consequences are.
B.

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K.H.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi K.

Super Nanny had a great episode that showed a family with boys who needed to let go of thier binki's. She told the boys that there were babies who really needed the binkis and had them gather up all they had and put them in a big envelope to send to the babies. They put the package in the mail and were told that if they gave them to the babies, the binki fairy would bring them a great "Thank you" gift in the morning. The boys went to bed with the expectation of a gift in the am and there was no problem. In the morning, they went to the mailbox and a decorated box and gifts (can't remember what, but big kid toys to have fun with) and were thrilled.

This might work and it might be fun too. I believe it will give you a memory to reinforce if she wants it back some time. You could remind her that the binkis were given to the babies who needed them and that she is a big girl now.

Just my two cents, since this wasn't an issue with us. My boy never wanted a binki.

Have a great day!
K.

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L.J.

answers from Boise on

One suggestion is to eliminate it at all times except night time, keeping it for nap. Do this for one week and then eliminate it at night time. You will have 3 or 4 nights of a very upset child, but these 3-4 nights are worth the outcome. Another suggestion I heard was to cut the very tip of the binki off so that it feels a bit awkward to your child. Every day cut it back a little more until only a stub remains. My co-worker did this and his child finally threw it away himself after becoming dissatisfied with the stub!

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L.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

She may have trouble sleeping without it, but she'll get over it quick. Make up your mind to deal with her (let her cry) for the next 3-4 nights and throw those binkis far far away! Then, you won't be tempted to give in and she'll be forced to go cold turkey. That sounded harsh. Good Luck!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Cold turkey, have it gone and that is it. If they are older they can comprehend the whole binky fairy scenario, where you put it in an envelope and mail it to the fairy so she can give it to babies that need it then the next day a surprise waits in return for you daughter. I just am not sure how well that works.
The cutting off the tips of all of them so when she puts it in her mouth she doesn't like the feel sometimes works.
But honestly just throwing them out and telling her they are all gone. There will be a few restless naps but it will be fine in a few days.
They damage the growth of the inner mouth, ruin teeth, can inhibit speech and it is a habit that if you can break now you will be so thankful you did! :)

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W.S.

answers from Boise on

When my oldest was about 22mo, we were at Disneyland one day and she chewed a hole in the end of her binkie, which she was very devoted to by the way. I decided that if she could chew a hole in it, it was no longer safe but a choking hazard. I decided to leave it with the hole which made it a lot harder to get suction. Every few days I would trim a little more off until she was just wearing the binkie nub, and then I finally told her that binkie was broken forever and needed to go away. Just make sure when you do get rid of it you get rid of all of them so she doesn't find any.

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L.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I haven't personally tried this yet as my daughter is 15 months old and still loving her nighttime binki. However, I have two friends who have tried this, and it worked. Every couple of days they would snip off a little part of the nipple. After a few of those, the babies just didn't want them anymore because they weren't working the same.

Good luck.

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K.N.

answers from Denver on

with my oldest, we cut a bit off the tip of her binky (silicone). Then we still gave it to her. she didn't like it cause there was no suction. She'd give it back and I'd say, "I'm sorry, it's broken." Then she'd try it again. It only took a couple of days before she didn't even try it. I left it in her bed for a couple of weeks, cause every 2 days or so she would want binky, so I just gave here the broken one.

If she doesn't have one already, try another sleep aid like a special stuffed animal or blanky.

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