Burial Months After the Funeral

Updated on June 18, 2012
J.W. asks from Minneapolis, MN
17 answers

We had our parents cremated, Dad's funeral was January 2011, Mom's funeral was this January, we are now planning the internment at the cemetery,. We have invited family and close friends to the final service, so we need to have any type of meal afterwards? If so what if any thing should be served? Thank you

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answers from Washington DC on

I would consider a light reception after the ceremony. People like to gather after such an event and you might want the support.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

No you don't have to do anything. However if you want more time with those attending. A tea can be held serve tea, lemonade or punch and either just cookies or small finger sandwiches. Or do a potluck.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Austin on

I am sorry for your losses.

You could serve chicken salad and or tuna sandwiches, fruit salad, some chips, iced tea, lemonade and coffee with a plate of cookies.

Simple is good.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on


Welcome to Mamapedia!!

I'm truly sorry for your loss!! I pray that your parents memories will be eternal!!

I personally would have some sort of finger foods and celebrate their lives if you have not done so already. There's nothing wrong with celebrating it again!!

I would do something like simple finger foods that you can pick up at the deli at your local grocery store (I don't know about MN but here in VA we have things we can order for pick up) like chicken salad sandwiches cut in 4ths, tortilla rollups - usually filled with tuna or chicken salad - and some fruit salad...or something your parents really enjoyed!!

Again - I'm sorry for your loss!! May you celebrate their lives one more time!!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

my family always holds a wake/dinner....after the service, whether it's for a funeral or internment at a later date. It's a time for gathering, for sharing of memories, & to create new memories/reconnections.

It's simply our way of creating good feelings within our circle of friends & family.

The meal is easiest set up as a buffet. We fill the guests up....ham, turkey, potatoes, & several sides + lots of desserts & drinks. :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I think food is always appreciated, and it gives everyone a reason to stay to talk and share memories and reconnect. If your home is close to the cemetery, you could invite everyone there. Or, find a room at a nearby restaurant, or in a park shelter if you are more casual. Your food choices could depend on the time of day you are planning this - late morning = brunch type foods, afternoon = light sandwiches/salads and something sweet, later = buffet dinner.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

how lovely that you're going to inter them together!
yes, food following a burial is nigh essential. there's something about sharing one of the fundamentals of life, the simple act of eating, that helps humans process the grief and visceral fear that death brings. but nothing fancy is necessary. simple foods, especially finger foods, are perfect. little sammiches, fruit and veggie trays, and lots of sweets. for some reason funerals bring out the need for sweets. cookies and brownies and cupcakes.
even though you already had the funerals, you will all feel more grounded and connected if you break bread together after the service.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I don't think you need to serve a meal. It's not like you're inviting them to a party. If you want to serve coffee, tea, and cookies, I'm sure everyone would enjoy that. Or if you want little appetizers or finger food, you can get a few trays of sandwich rolls and veggies from Costco. I'm pretty sure no one is expecting to get fed. But then again, I have only been to a few funerals/memorial services/wakes in my life.

If you want to socialize and have a sit down meal with everyone afterwards, you could reserve a banquet room at a nearby restaurant. That's what we did for out-of-town family after my father's funeral. Good luck, and I'm sorry for your losses.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Thanks to the MP ad banner that covers part of your question and my iPhone screen ... I missed how many people you are expecting.

I would serve food, I would do something that would. It take up my time with prep, etc so that I could enjoy being with my family during this time.

My go to would be catered. You can have it as fancy it casual as you like. We typically cater from Maggianos Italian, Carrabbas, or some place like that.

If catering is not in your budget, make ahead as much as possible. I make homemade marinara sauce that everyone loves. I'd probably have that with some assorted pastas, chicken, salad bread and dessert.

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope your meal goes well.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

In this area, it's kind of a traditional thing to have a post burial wake meal--be it luncheon or dinner, so, especially if people are traveling to be there, I would say, why not, right? It will be a great opportunity to fellowship with friends and family, remember your mom and dad, trade memories, etc.
I'm sorry for your loss.
And I think it's really special that you are interring them at the same time. Very nice.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

We usually do fancy sandwiches, veggie and fruit platters, and cheese and pickle trays, and dainties. Sorry for your loss.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Sorry for your loss:( As far as what is good, every funeral I've been part of that has a meal served after the service has always been comfort food. Things like potato casserole, ham, green salad, rolls and a veggie and pies or brownies for dessert. Everything seems to always be low fuss. The casseroles are great because you can make them ahead of time and heat them up right before serving.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Yes, food should be served. I will suggest their favorite foods to eat/make would be a good suggestion or if you can go to a favorite eatary and work it out where you offer a limited menu so no one can go crazy and you can work with a budget.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

If you hand roll your own lunch meat tray it saves a ton of money. You can get the big tray at the dollar store. I am sure the guests would not mind bringing sides. Homemade chocolate chip cookies and tea/coffee are not too expensive and a nice touch. I am sorry for your loss.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

I am sorry for your loss. I will be having a post funeral meal a my home
this week. We will probably have around 40 people. I have ordered,
cheese lasagna, meatballs, fried chicken, cold cut platter and one or two
other things. Rolls, a tossed green salad and I have brownies and carrot
cake. People do not expect a full meal, just something they could nibble on
while sharing memories.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from La Crosse on

being its family and close friends you could do a meal at a local restruant at their own cost if they choose to get together afterwords or you could do it simple sandwiches and finger food side dishes at one of the family members house.

Keep it simple either way if you choose to do it.

Sorry for your loss on both of your parents.



answers from Philadelphia on

hi. I'm sorry for your loss. If you are on a tight budget you could look for a local diner. or ask relatives etc to bring a covered dish. (I know a lot of people do this for holidays and get togethers).

Again, Sorry for your loss.

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