Bully - Evans,GA

Updated on August 20, 2012
B. asks from Evans, GA
12 answers

Ok for background. This happened last year as well. There was a boy in the walker line that was bulling my kids, messing with them, etc. ok now this year that kid is gone and low and behold there's a new one this year.
My kids are bully magnets. They are both geeks/nerds and My daughter takes EVERYTHING personally . She's ADHD, 10 yrs old and really emotional. And my son, 7 yrs old, sticks up for his big sister.
Ok so I am not sure exactly what happened ,but one kid in the walker line threatened to break my son's arm. I don't really know what lead up to it but it resulted in my son getting threatened.
What would you do? Would you deal with it at home and try to teach them how to deal with a situation like this ? or Would you report it to the school? It was not on school grounds so I am not sure they can do anything about it . Or would you wait and see if it happens again and THEN report it? I'm torn. The mother bear in me wants to march that kid strait to the office. But I know I can't protect them forever.

ETA: the "walker line" is the group of kids that walk home from school. It starts out with them lining up in the school and they are walked up the sidewalk to the edge of school property then they are on their own from there.

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So What Happened?

I emailed his teacher just as a heads up . I think he handled himself pretty well, with the simple fact that he didn't let the kid get to him.
I guess the next step is if it happens again I'll report it to the principal. I'm hoping maybe this was a one up thing and the kid was having a bad day. No excuse for threatening someone like that . I DO want him to be able to handle something like this. I will see what the teacher says after she talks to him.

yes I did ask the kids about it , but I am still not real clear on exactly what happened , I didn't hear anything in the story that would gain a threat like that.

The child apologized. And everything has settled down .
Thanks everyone for your responses . They were helpful.

Featured Answers


answers from Los Angeles on

Do whatever makes you feel better.

~I teach my kids to stand up for themselves and have prepared them for the fact that there is ALWAYS gonna be some punk trying to get in their face and start something. I have laid out for them what steps they need to take:
Verbal warning to punk to back off.
Verbal warning to teacher about punk.
Verbal warning to me/ dad about punk.
When all those fail, if being physically touched by punk they get to get physical back.

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answers from Charlotte on

Definitely report it to the school. You need to know exactly which kid did it, report it, and tell the school you expect for the parent to be called and told what the kid threatened.

Tell the school that the NEXT time it happens, you will be calling the police to show up at the parent's doorstep.

I never had a kid physically threaten my kids when they were little, but one boy told my son that he was going to blow up my house. I talked to the summer camp director and she brought him in and made him apologize. He left my son alone for the rest of camp.

(I just remembered that my younger son had trouble with a kid in middle school, who DID threaten to beat him up. The school was TERRIFIC about it - called the kid into the office, warned him to not do it again, and then called his mom and let her know what would happen if he did. They also made him sit in the front of the bus for several months - the bullying happened on the bus.)

By the way, your son is only 7. The idea that you can't protect them forever applies when they are much older. Give that poor kid a break - again, he's 7!!!


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answers from Minneapolis on

Who is supervising the "walking line?" If there is no adult, just kids together of mixed ages, I wouldn't be happy with that arrangement. Any kid with bullying tendencies would jump on that opportunity. I would report it to your son's teacher and principal, AND remove my kids from the walking line. I'd walk them myself, bicycle with them or drive them. The "getting to school" experience sets the tone for the rest of the day, I would go out of my way to make it a positive one.

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answers from Portland on

Could you tell us what a walker line is? I have no idea what you are talking about...

Otherwise, time to talk to the principal, today. If this child does do something violent, you need to have documentation that threats were made and that you had notified someone (because I'd be taking that child's parents to court for damages). At that point, the school can contact the parents. Perhaps the parents don't know their kid is bullying others. Perhaps the child is in a situation where the parents don't care, aren't high-functioning, and a CPS visit would be a good idea. I don't know. But if it were me and my child was being threatened with bodily harm, you can bet I would make a stink. And god forbid, if my own child was threatening others, I would want to know.

I know you don't want to coddle your kids, but at 10 and 8 and with someone threatening to break an arm, I don't see how you could in good conscience ask them to fight their own battles on this one. This isn't just teasing.... If it's ignored, they might not come to you with bigger troubles because they'll feel you just can't be bothered.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

My take on it is that you teach your children how to deal with it. (That's what real mama bears do - they teach their cubs how to take care of themselves.) Unhappily, there are bullies everywhere.

Even if you could get your daughter and son to have a little fun taking taekwondo lessons, it could help them. It builds self-confidence, and my older son, who is working on his third-degree black belt and whose daughters are in taekwondo as well, says that even a white belt (beginner) can learn enough to scare off some bullies.

It's a shame that we have to learn how to defend ourselves when we're so young, but that's the sort of planet it is.

I would also report the incident to the school. Even if the powers-that-be can't do anything about it, I should hope they would want to be aware of what's going on.

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answers from Phoenix on

Email the teacher. Just a casual, "hey, wanted to let you know whats going on so you can be aware." I'm a big believer in email for documentation. I don't know what the "walker line" is and why it wasn't on school grounds. Anyway, don't come off as mama bear, just ask the teacher to speak to the bully and/or keep an eye out. Good luck!

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answers from Boston on

Report it to the School. Then sign both of them up for a self defense class.

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answers from New York on

your kids need to know that if they tell to parents, things will improve for them. email the teacher and principal. teach your kids to speak up for themselves.
if you know the parents of the bully, approach them. tell them what happened and ask them for help. don't accuse, just explain what happened. you can do this once or twice. if they are unresponsive or unwilling or shift the blame then put on mama bear suit on.
i have told my kids to stand up for themselves and others who get bullied. i have told parents i interact with that in case my kids get bullied, all hell will break lose. i don't know what i mean exactly by that but i do know i am willing to do anything to stop any kind of hurt, emotional or otherwise, when it comes to my kids.

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answers from Chicago on

I would talk to the teacher first (either by phone or send an email). If that doesn't get results, I would talk to the Principal.

I would tell my kids that if there is an adult around, they should tell that adult immediately.

School should be a safe place and threats should not be tolerated.

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answers from New York on

Set up a meeting with the teacher and the principal at the same time. Don't go in as "mother bear". Go in as "learning partner" and speak with them about a plan to keep your children safe/protected and to address the behavior of the other child. Even though it didn't happen AT school, if it happened during "school time" then they will help you address the situation.

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answers from San Francisco on

Why don't you know what led up to it? Didn't you ask your son questions?
When kids come home saying so and so said this, did this, etc. you should ALWAYS talk about it. Why do you think he said that? Did you tell him no, did you tell him to stop, was there something YOU did first that might have made him mad? You need to talk about it and teach your kids to stand up for themselves. They need to know how to say no, stop, and if that doesn't work, get a teacher.
If you don't teach your kids these skills they WILL be bully magnets.



answers from Athens on

I would find out from my kid if this child is bullying more than on kid or if this was a one time thing between them. If the incident only happened once, then you can relax. If not, I would talk to the kid's parents. Get thier child's take on what happened and try to resolve it so that your children can go to school in peace. Every child deserves that.

My daughter came home once complaining about a kid in school. I called the parents and we talked. She got her side of the story and it turned out my child was not so innocent. That was the part she left out.... So try not to be quick to judge.

Wishing your little ones a safe and fun learning experience.

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