Hi R S,
Well with my kids I have and will take a different stance on this with my kids. For instance with my oldest now 16 yrs old, when he was in Kindergarden and riding the bus he had an older kid hitting him, I told him to never take poop off anybody and you do whatever you have to to protect yourself, I also told him that he didn't need to go around starting fights but he needed to stand up for himself. So the next day he was on the bus and sure enough the kid hit him again so my son hit him back and had no mercy on him.....that boy never touched him again.
When my son was a freshman in high school, a boy in the same grade punched him in the face, so my son turned around and punched him back, before my son was hit and hit the other boy he told him you lay a hand on me in anyway, shape or form, I will hit you back in the same way.
So I once again, my 7 yr old gets on the bus and he is being picked on and I told him the samething. This kid was only being verbally abusive to him so my son told him I do not have to listen to you and you need to stop talking to me in that way. For whatever reason this boy listened and we have never had another problem.
So now I have 2 girls 3 yrs and 16 months and when the day comes I will explain to them the samething and tell them to stick up for themselves.
So what would I tell my girls if they were in your girls situation. I would tell them to say in a loud voice if a girl or these girls are calling them names to "stop calling me names", if they tried to take their snack I would tell them to yell loudly "no, this is my snack, leave me alone". There is no harm in teaching our kids to stick up for themselves. Once these bullies know they can not get by with it anymore they will quit. I think that we do a great injustice to our kids not allowing them to stick up for themselves. I think the path we lay for them now will greatly effect them later in life. For instance if you instill in them now that people can take advantage of them now when they are young then people will when they get older. This could be in boyfriends and friends that ar girls. If we teach our children to stick for themselves some of this peer pressure of drugs and sex and things like this will not effect our children. We have to instill in them that they should have confidence in themselves and to stand up for themselves.
So what to do ?? Tell your kids to stand up for themselves however they must and to never take poop off anybody. I would much rather my child get in trouble at school or wherever for sticking up for himself rather then not.
I'm not saying I want my kids to go around starting fights but I do want them to stand up for themselves. Thats what we all should want. Nobody should have to put up with this and as soon as the kids that are stop then the bulling will stop. Bullies are bullies because they can be and nobody will stop them.
I was bullied middle school also but I also told myself that I was not going to put up with it and I didn't and they stopped.
So this is my advice, W.