Brother Getting a Divorce, I Am Friends with His Wife, Need Advice

I hope you WILL continue to be close to her. She will feel so abandoned if you drop her.

What you should do is tell her that with what is going on with her marriage, that the only thing that will change is that you two won't talk about her husband. That subject will always be left out. You will not talk about her to him, or him to her. And they won't talk about each other to you. That way everyone can be comfortable, and you won't feel that you are put in the middle.

I think that this is the best way for things to work for all of you.

Good luck,
Dawn

Keep it simple. Your brother has said it was alright by him for you to keep being friends with your SIL. So do so. You dont need to broadcast that you are hanging out with her, or things like that. And if he asks how she is doing, keep it simple, say she's good or fine and change the subject.

You CAN be friends with her without making waves in the family too.

My aunt and uncle divorced after 20 years of marriage and three children. We are a very close family so this was incredibly difficult, especially because my dad's brother was entirely at fault and no one blamed her for filing.

Bottom line is that you can divorce a spouse without divorcing a family. My aunt has attended our weddings, joined us for holiday dinners and still visits my grandparents regularly. She and my uncle are cordial and they danced together at my wedding and my sister's.

Be open with your SIL and your children about the situation, but continue your relationship with her without feeling guilty. If these were your "friends" rather than your family, you wouldn't think twice!

Hi M.,

My uncle divorced his wife when I was about 6 years old. It never stopped her from being my aunt. For years, until she moved out of state, would take my brother and I to movies, take us out of state to visit museums, etc.

I am 43 now and she is still my aunt.

Your brother says he is fine with the two of you continuing to be friends.

You could always try and if it doesn't work, it doesn't. Who says you have to make a permanent decision right now?

Good luck!

My brother has been married 5 times. I know what you're going through. Since they don't have kids you can expect that at some point in the future this woman and the experiences you have with her will be a fond memory. She will eventually drift away like all old friends tend to do.

I would still stay friends with her at this time, he doesn't mind and it won't cause a family melt down. As sad as it is...it seems sad especially for the kids.

Happens in my family all the time. We seem to keep in touch more often and be closer to the ex-relative.

Something of this sort tore my moms family up. My moms brother divorced his wife. My mom wanted to remain a relationship with my aunt and their kids. My grandma did not like it. It was torture....I basically lost a grandma because of this.

But I still stand by my moms choice as I don't think its fair to completely write someone off just because of divorce. All parties involved need to grow up and learn to be around each other.

I also had a close friend couple that divorced. My kids were very close with the female of the couple. Unfortunately, we were introduced to her through the male friend. We do not see the female anymore. I told my kids some relationships just don't work and people break up. It was as easy as that for me.

Best wishes to you all!

My aunt and unlce got divorced after 10 years. After the divorce, I never saw him or talked to him again. I was about 8 at the time. They didn't have any kids either. That was the reason for the divorce. She wanted kids he didn't. What I'm trying to get at is your kids will be fine. Since they don't have any children, chances are she will move on. You kids will remember him a little but not much.

I have a very amicable relationship with my brother's ex-wife. I'm not involved in any of their problems or drama. As long as you make their relationship (past and present) an off-limits topic, you'll be fine.

Be factual with your kids - uncle and aunt have decided to divorce. They both love you very much and you'll still get to see your cousins.

I agree. Keep it simple. Know that it might be awkward to invite them both to the house at the same time. Acknowledge that they may be going through things that you need to stay out of and tell each, "I really can't be your sounding board for this".

My nephew and his GF are on again/off again. Not entirely the same situation, but I like them both and I adore their little girl. I pretty much stay out of their relationship problems and only address them together if I can't figure out who has the kid for the weekend I would like to get together.

The flip side is THEY need to be able to handle that their friends and family are still friends and family. And give the kids the simple truth, and leave adult weirdness out of it. They may be confused about whether or not their aunt is still their aunt and answer their questions as simply as you can.