Bringing Toddlers to the Hospital to See Mommy and New Baby?

Updated on September 16, 2011
J.R. asks from Geneva, IL
25 answers

Just wondering if most moms bring their toddlers to the hospital to meet their new sibling after delivery, or have them stay home? I'm thinking it will be too h*** o* my little ones to come visit for an hour and then have to leave mommy again. We're never apart, so being in the hospital for a few days is a LONG time for them. I think it might be easier on them to just not see me -- out of sight, out of mind -- and daddy is #1 when I'm not around so they are going to have a blast. They have fun plans with daddy while I'm here after delivery, and I just don't want to upset them with a short visit and derail that. But maybe I'm over-thinking. They are 3 and 22 months.

What's your experience?

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K.J.

answers from New York on

My 3 year old loved coming to see his new brother! Had him bring a gift for the baby and what do you know.....the baby had a gift for him too because he was his new big brother! And after awhile he was ok with leaving. But I think it's important to include the siblings. It's their immediate family. The 22 month old? Well he/she will have a shorter attention span but you shouldn't take one and leave the other unless they are sick. Good luck and congratulations!

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S.Y.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Bring them in. My daughter was 2 years 9 months when my son was born. It's an exciting experience for the kids and they do need to learn disappointment too (sadly). You can consider having a small present from "the baby" for them and it should help :)

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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

I have three small children. When my son was born my daughter was 19 months. We brought her to the hospital to meet her new brother. When My daughter was recently born we had both kids come (4 and 2.5 years old) to meet their new sister. It's definately not a relaxing experience but it definately was good for them. We also had them bring a gift for their new sister (each picked out a book for her) and their new sister got them each something as well. It helps having extra hands around when they come (grandparents or good friends) to help entertain. Hope this helps.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

In my experience, the siblings always get to come visit their new little brother or sister. This is true for both my family, my husband's family, and friends. My son was 15 and he was the first person we had in the room with us. I would have done the same thing if he was younger. The only way I wouldn't have had him be our first visitor was if he was much younger and it was in the middle of the night but they would be there as soon as possible in the am.

1 mom found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was 15 mos when her brother was born.
She came to see us once- I was in 4 days total for an unexpected LONG induction and csection. With my 3rd baby, I was in 48 hrs for a vbac and my daughter was 2 mos shy of 4 yrs old and her brother was 2.5. They loved coming to see me at the hospital. I think it is important for them to meet the new baby on neutral ground. As long as your husband tells them beforehand that they are going for a brief trip to see you and baby and that you have to stay while they go back home- in advance- it should be ok. Of course the kids should be sniffle free to even consider dropping by as well... Something else to consider. I had my kids comes the afternoon I delivered (my baby was born around noon). It worked out well since that morning I was gone before they were awake. Best wishes!

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Not in your shoes so my opinion does not hold the same weight, but I would bring my children in to meet the new baby. Hospitals are boring. I am sure they will be ready to leave.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I had my 2nd at home so it wasn't an issue, but yes, most big siblings do visit mom and baby in the hospital - if the hospital allows it. I know in the past 1-2 years, many hospitals stopped allowing children to visit at all because of H1N1. If your hospital does allow it, I would strongly encourage it. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Detroit on

We brought DD-21 months to see me. DS was in the Special Care nursery so she could not see him except through the window but she missed me and I missed her. She did great and loved to come see me

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

No experience but my two cents...
Have them come but before the visit have Daddy ask them to plan a surprise for when you come home, so that when it's time for them to leave the hospital, they have something secret to do for Mommy (and baby) to welcome her home. They'll get their special time of meeting the new sibling, and will have something constructive to plan and execute before you get home....short of that, have Daddy plan an outing for right after the visit so they can look forward to that while they're getting their snuggles from you.

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M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Get the book, "baby on the way " by sears. My 3 yo loved this book and it really helped prepare her. My daughter knew my mom would bring her up. We had small gifts from her brother. She was crazy excited! We brought a.dvd of her fav show and when she started.getting squirrely we let her watch a show. She came up both days and did fine. She was a little sad at home but my mom kept her busy. Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I would think that a 22m/o wouldn't have much trouble with it, just because they haven't developed a sense of time yet.
More the 3 y/o, but still I don't think it's a real major problem. And maybe seeing you a little is good.
I think you're over playing it. Relax and enjoy your newbie!!!! Congrats!

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A.K.

answers from Detroit on

My son was 26 months when my 2nd was born and he came. Grandma & Grandpa spent the night with him the night before and brought him in the morning. It was very nice. He got to hold his baby sister and we had no seperation issues. Plus, G & G did a great job of making sure he had a really couple special day.
A lot of people suggested this and I'm glad we did it- we had each child buy the other a gift (well you know mommy took care of it...) My son loved his Taggies blanket so he bought his sister one, and he loved Elmo so she bought him an Elmo book. It was great and I would have been really sad had my oldest not been there.

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M.W.

answers from Detroit on

my 2.5 year old did great visiting us at the hospital. I would advise to bring them there to meet the baby. That way they can go home and be excited for you guys to return.

A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

When my second was born, my husband brought our 21 month old to see us in the hospital once. They stayed for about 30 minutes and then he was just starting to get uncomfortable in the hospital setting so they head out. Congratulations on your new baby!

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A.J.

answers from New York on

I was worried about this too. When my 2nd was born my oldest was only 15 months. We had just stopped bfeeding and I had never been away from her. I was so worried there would be loads of crying when she had to leave me. She was amazing though. She LOVED seeing her new sister and holding her. We had snuggle time and then when it was time for her to go she just gave me a kiss and walked out. I was more sad than she was for her to go! I think it really depends on your kids. I have come to learn that she is super independent (didn't cry at all when she started preschool and the school was all in french and she didn't speak a lick of french! And now she would like to ride the city bus to school alone and she's only 3!!!). If you really thikn your kids will have a hard time then keep them home, but it might be worth trying. It can be a lot of fun for them to meet their new sibling in the hospital and have some snuggle time with you. Good luck! :)

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Take the time to rest at the hospital while you can. You are going to have your hands not just full, but overflowing when you get home. Sounds like you have planned alot of "Daddy time"...they might not miss you at all...until they might see you at the hospital. Don't bring them fo a visit. They will have lots of bonding time when you get home. Unless you are having a c-section, you might only be gone 24 hours anyway. All the best to you!

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'd have the older siblings meet the new baby when you bring him/her home.
The kids don't need to be exposed to germs in the hospital and toddlers touch everything - railings, floors, what ever and then the hands go in their mouth.
And they are not going to want to part from you when it's time for them to leave.
That's all you need to deal with when you already have a new born is to have the other kids get sick.
So let them plan a welcome home party for you, and they can all meet and greet when you get home.

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

With the birth of my 2nd, my daughter (then 21 months) came every day to see me, I loved it, I missed her :)

With my 3rd, since H1N1 flu was out of control, they wouldn't let my daughters come see us :( I was so heartbroken, it was really hard for me, because I know they were disappointed, we missed each other, and they were SO excited about their brother... like other people came to visit and meet the baby before they could meet their brother! It was tough :(

It's totally up to you, but I'm all for siblings meeting each other before the new babe meets everyone else ;)

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'm an OB nurse, so I can tell you that most parents bring the older siblings up to meet the baby. However, sometimes it is hard....especially for little little ones, they don't have a concept of time, so yes, they miss you, but a few hours or a day or two is the same, and trying to leave is when they start crying. Not all of them, but I have seen it alot. With my step-daughter, she wasn't going to have the littlest one come up (he was 14 months old at the time), but her husband brought him up. They also are all about Daddy, so had no problems leaving with Daddy.
Don't forget to take into account how you're going to feel. If you have a c-section, you will me hurting, and not really up to having them climb all over your bed. Or if you have a long labor, it might be better to wait until the next day for them to come up.
Good Luck!
D.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

When we were doing hospital births, we always brought our children to see the new baby with Mommy. They were overjoyed, and they never reacted negatively to me being gone. I actually never even thought of that as being an issue, and it wasn't. Prior to me being in the hospital, they had never been without me more than a couple of hours. I would take them. Let them hold the new baby (sweetest thing ever-and get pictures!). Congrats!
BTW, we homebirth now, so we are all at home to love on each other and the baby. ;)

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son (3yrs) loved coming to visit. We gave him a gift from the baby that he could play with while he was there. We had a lot of visitors too so he got to see some of them and they all brought gifts for both kids. (Awesome friends for thinking of that!) he also like having the snacks with me and sitting in the bed with me. Then we even found "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" on their TV system and he loved it.

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N.S.

answers from Detroit on

We just gave birth to our 3rd. My 2yr old and 4yr old were spending time with their favorite Aunt Niki. She brought them to visit and it went great. They saw where I was, were able to meet their new sister, and able to get a few minutes of snuggle time that they wanted. The hospital was boring, they were ready to leave with Aunt Niki when it was time to go.
What was more tough, was the amount of disinterest they showed in me after a few short minutes. They were more interested in exploring the hospital.
I should add that I was only gone a total of 26.5hrs, most of it being the middle of the night. Suppose they didnt' really have time to miss me since they came to visit when they woke up.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter had just turned 2 when I had my son. My husband was already at the hospital with me so my mom and sister took her/picked her up from daycare and brought her to see us. We had a gift waiting for her 'from the baby' and I immediately gave her hugs and kisses (from the bed) and fawned over her and how she was a big sister and let her 'hold' the baby. There were a few other people in there as well that day so my mom and sister kept the visit short and S.!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

My DS came when my daughter was born.
We got him a present to open while he was there at the hospital. Once he had his new toy, he could've cared less about anything else. :)

He was 26mos at the time.

C.A.

answers from New York on

We are due in 16 days. I already have plans for my daughter who is 3 to come visit us first. I want her to be the first one to see her new brother. My mom is going to pick her up at noon from daycare (cause she works not even 5 minutes from her daycare). This will make it easier then my husband driving 20 minutes from the hospital to get her. She is going to spend the night before at grandma's. We are scheduled for a c-section at 7am Sept 30th. I know that date is not set in stone but I atleast need to have a plan. She is so excited about her brother coming soon. That is all she talks about. We bought her a baby brag book so she can show off her brother and we are getting her the "It's a boy" lollypops to give out to ppl. I can't imagine going 4 days without seeing her. We also have a gift from the baby for her. I can't wait to see her face when she meets her brother. It can't come soon enough for me. LOL!!!
I would let them come visit you even if its for an hour. They won't want to stay long anyway but I would let them leave on their terms without a melt down. Glad to hear that daddy has alot of things planned for them. Best of Luck and Congrats!

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