Bringing Toddlers to Church

The only new thing I would add is color wonders have worked for us. My 3 year old will sit and color for most of the mass. They are great because the markers only work on the special paper so there's no chance of coloring on the pew and it gives me the time to listen.

Hi -
I'm a cantor's wife and I've brought my daughter to services since she was 2 weeks old. I think it helps to get kids used to the service. i sit on the aisle, and if she fusses, I'm ready to leave the sanctuary. Sometimes I stand in the back and let her play in the carpet.
I usually have quiet toys with me so she can play with those.

I'm a preacher's kid and my mom used to have us sit way up front. It helped reduce distractions between us and our dad. And we had lots of paper to draw. That was back in the 60s.

When our son was a baby in 1996, it was very easy to have him at church. He was mesmerized by the ceiling fans, our faces, or whatever was before him. He often slept. If he needed to be nursed, I could find privacy by sitting in the balcony, where no one usually goes, or in the sacristy (a little room right before you get to the sanctuary).

When our son was a toddler, we sat closer to the back (2/3 of the way back) for a quick getaway if necessary. Generally, we brought books, a favorite teddy bear, a little car, and/or some snacks (cheerios, goldfish, or raisins--easy to handle and easy to clean up). Sometimes we chose to exit the sanctuary if he was disruptive. The sacristy and the preschool downstairs both had the service piped in there so I could still hear everything. There was also the option of taking him to the nursery so I could return to the service.

It really depends on your comfort level. Many parents are so worried about the noises their children make. My philosophy is a little coo or temporary outburst is tolerable and the more kids go to church, the more comfortable they are with sitting for that period. It never hurt a kid to learn when it was important to be quiet and when was okay to be noisy. It's a good skill to learn!

Many parishioners love hearing the sounds of kids being present anyway. It gets to be too much, though, if there is constant whispering or outright talking, crying that doesn't stop, a tussle between siblings, or something like that.

In our church, there was one old man who always mentioned ANY noise. But other than that, most people accepted noise in little doses. As long as you are respectful of those around you, keeping the noise to a minimum, a little embarrassment can sometimes be swallowed.

Go for it!

We have been taking our kids to church for a while. They are 9 and 7 now. When they were younger, we would bring a small snack in a baggie and some books for them to look through. We would start out in the pews and then move to the baby room if they were loud. We did not end up in the baby room very much. The kids don't love going to church, but when we get there they really enjoy the music and sit quietly. Make sure they do not sit next to each other.

We stated with my 3 year old when she was born, It is not easy but they get the hang of it after a while. We pack her a special back pack & it is a small one. We put crayons, sm. not book or coloring book. sometimes as a treat i let her bring a Thomas train or a doll. She knows her limit because we have gone for so long. We are due in 5 weeks for another on so things may change a bit. Good luck and set the rules before you leave home and refresh them when you get to church and remind them if they are having a hard time good luck.

I'm a Pastor's wife. I go to church every Sunday with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 4 month old. They do pretty well. Our church offers 'busy bags' with crayons, puzzles, a book, and children's worship folder. It would help if both parents went, one for each child. If the first time doesn't go well, keep going, they get better. Also, just because one week was bad, doesn't mean the next week will be. If you force them to wear fancy clothes and they don't want to, you might be setting up for a bad morning.
Prepare them before hand, let them know what you expect. I usually give my kids a little snack during the service too, but not until the sermon..and I encourage my kids to sing the amens with, as well as other familiar partsw of the service, like folding hands during prayer.
God Bless!

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 15 month old...let's be honest...it isn't easy! We bring snacks (dry, non-messy) and books. We try to sit near families with kids because that entertains my children (kids 8-13 seem best--old enough to know they need to be quiet, but young enough to play peek a boo, etc with my toddlers) We sit by the door and make a quick getaway if necessary. The more they go, the easier it gets because it becomes a familiar routine. Good luck!!!

Our church not only has a "quiet room" for people with small children to sit in during services, but they also have a special Saturday morning "kid-friendly" service where they encourage the kids to participate! You may want to either ask the church you're currently a member of if they have something similar to this, or check churches in surrounding towns...I'm sure one of them has a program for kids.

C. M

People already have some good suggestions here for keeping them occupied. I think the other thing to check out is, does your church pipe the sound into the kids' room? If it does, it may be easier for you to listen to the service from there. I know that's what I'd have to do with mine.

HiKerri,

I don't know if you're schedule allows but it helps if you can attend a daytime mass, IT gives you a shorter mass, very understanding people.

Generally you can easily keep their interest if you review for yourself the parts of the mass, so you can predict what will happen next and keep their attention.Describe the priests,, what color will they wear today?? Watch the crucifix come down the aisle,... tell them when it changes from Lit of the word to lit of the Eucharist... listen for the bells, wait for the priest to lift the (Circle) up high,,, lift the cup up high... things like that..
I can give you more ideas if you need them.
But I can promise you it is worth it to join a church.
Good luck,
Clare W
Helping families build supplemental income.
www.WorkAtHomeUnited.com/Arizona

snacks and books/dolls always helped my kids...(just remember to clean up after yourselves).. also, look for a quiet room or a childrens mass...dont arrive early and keep going no matter how early you have to leave each week.. they will eventually enjoy it and like to participate...good luck

Have you checked out the church you want to go to? Some churches have an infant/toddler room. So you and Daddy go to the service and the little ones can go to the play room. Most churches where we are moving from (Ft. Bliss) offered that for parents. It was a great relaxing break from the kids, but you knew they were safe and probably getting a little christian play as well.

R.
Mom who is soon moving to Berlin, NH from El Paso TX. I have two boys 3 and 1 and one little girl age 2. We are looking for a baby sitter so I can start work on the 5th.

Some churches offer a "kids" mass, a noise level a little louder is more acceptable. Also some offer babysitting during the service. Most and I emphasize most churches are tolerant of children being squirmy and welcome them. I have found in my experience that there are still a few that would prefer you to leave your child at home. If that is the case do you really want to go there? Check around hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I've taken my sons to mass since the very beginning. They are now 4.5. We sit right up front. We brought one quiet toy each until they were 3, then they were expected to sit on their own. They aren't always quiet and aren't always perfect, but this is their church too and they are part of our family. I don't see why we should take them out of the service. I think if you set up your expectations and have some understanding because of the girls' age, they should be able to make it through most services. We also talk about what is happening, they "read" from the hymnal during the songs. They are as much a part of mass as I am. We have even gotten them involved delivering the gifts to the alters on some weeks. Most weeks we go to the family mass, but I have found the older parishioners at the early mass are even more tolerable of the boys. They are usually the ones egging them into a game of peek-a-boo or something!

Our church doesn't have one but I know a lot that have an infant/toddler room in case they start getting too fussy. Most ppl don't mind and actually enjoy seeing the little ones at church. Bring some books or something else they can do quietly.

I have twins too. Isn't life grand :)

As for church we would have them sit with us until the sermon and then take them to the nursery. We would collect them again just before communion. As they got older they could sit longer (and some days not as long, it just depends)We always had books for them to look at which they love and we would point out different things like the flags, candles etc. I never felt like I got much out of church with them but I felt like I was teaching them how to behave while in church. Good Luck

Hi Kerry,
Our boys (1 and almost 3) do pretty well at mass because they like to watch the other people. For our 3 year old we gently remind him in advance each week what the expectations are inside church. He's allowed to bring a book and he's usually very good. We don't have to do this much anymore, but I usually have a bag of goldfish with me that I would dole out one by one. FYI we learned to hard way to not allow toys because inevitably they pound them. As others have said, most parishioners are very tolerant! And my husband and I always go in with the attitude that we can leave if we need to, and we have only left once!

I am not Catholic, but do they not have child care during service? our Church even has a number system where they have an LED screen that flashes your number when your kids are upset and need a parent..my osn did not do well being apart so I spent most of his 1-3 years in the nursery with him!! now he is in Sunday School so that is better.

Good Luck

Hi K.,

We also have 2 1/2 y.o. twin boys and we've brought them to church nearly every Sunday since they were born. Our church has a 'crying room' so we've been in there since they started getting more vocal and squirmy. We still encourage them to be quiet and respectful, although it gave us the comfort of not distracting too many people when they were disruptive. In the past couple of months, we've moved into the 'big church' as the boys call it. We bring quiet things for them to play with and a snack which usually keeps them pretty occupied. Honestly it is trying at times and some weeks are better then others but my husband and I are committed to making it work. One of the biggest life savers has been an etch-a-sketch type thing that has a pencil and the boys draw for a good amount of time each Sunday == and we usually reserve this toy only for church so they are excited to see it each week.

Good luck!

Hi K.,

We have brought our little angel to church since she was about 2 months old. She's now 18 months old and VERY active. When we go, I always bring books, toys (that don't make noise obviously), and food, lots of food, which keeps her occupied most of the time. We always sit in the very back, so if she can't sit still, my husband usually gets up and walks around with her in the back or outside (the church we go to doesn't have a children's room). I know it's probably much different with 2 children, but my best advice is just to bring a lot of things to keep them occupied. I think at that age, I would also explain to them that church is quiet time, and like my parents did when we were really young, make an incentive for being good- after church we always used to get ice cream or something special like that.

Also, you might want to go to specific mass times that more children attend- the Saturday evening and the late morning Sunday are usually laden with children. By the way, I always tell myself that everyone has been in the position before, so I don't feel bad if she gets really antsy or makes a commotion.

Hope I helped a little! Good luck!
R.