Maybe I'm just a total gripe but does it bother anyone else when people bring their kids to a baby shower that you are hosting? Maybe no one else even does this except people that I know but anytime there's a shower, all the moms bring their daughters. (all ages from babies to teens) I think it's totally rude and NEVEr bring my children to showers because I think they are meant for adults unless it says otherwise on the invitation!
What bothers my MOST about it is that the kids are allowed to help themselves to any of the food AND take it anywhere in the house to eat! I don't allow MY OWN kids to eat anywhere but the kitchen table! I've had so much punch spilled on my carpet by kids at showers! ARG!
Do ya'll think it's okay to bring kids without them being specifically invited?
It's interesting to see how 1/2 of ya'll would just EXPECT the kids to be invitede and the other 1/2 wouldn't bring them without them being specifically invited! I wonder if it makes a difference on how old you are... I didnt go look at everyone's profiles so I have no idea about this, just wondering if it's a difference in generations.
MY opinion of course is that the person/people who's name(s) are on the invitation is who's invited and wouldn't just assume that I should bring my kids. I LOVE children so it has nothing to do with that but I do think it's nice sometimes to be able to sit and relax and visit with other moms without having to worry about my kids.
I am about to have my 5th baby so my house is FAR from perfect and it's VERY kids friendly BUT I still don't think people should allow their children to wander around with food and drink at someone else's house no matter what!
Thank you all SO much for your replies!
Since when do we have to put on an invitation that kids are not invited. If I get an invitation addressed soley to me, than only I am invited, not me and my daughter. When I want to invite kids, I would list them on the invitation. I hate when people assume they can bring who ever they want to an event. But I also agree with the others, that if you only want them to eat in the kitchen, than before food is served you make an announcement that all kids must eat and drink in the kitchen.
Kids in my opinion shouldn't be invited. A baby shower is to celebrate the mom-to-be, and a good friend of mine actually was in tears because her shower had so many kids, it took the focus off of her special day. I hope my baby shower is not like this. I have friends with babies and thats fine with me. But toddlers and kids, no way.
No - it isn't okay. A shower is for adults (who have been invited) to relax, have fun, enjoy themselves, and make the guest of honor feel special. It would be like bringing kids to a GNO - not cool, unless they're invited.
The best thing to do is to get a babysitter or have your partner watch your kids. If both of those options don't work out, then one would need to send the gift but skip the shower.
NO I do not think it is OK to bring kids to showers, and it irks me too when people do this, however, I am very stern when it comes to kids taking food anywhere in my house, or helping themselves. I always tell them that they can have food when it is time to eat, and I will tell them when it is time to eat, and I say that I do not allow kids with drinks outside of the kitchen. I know it is hard to do, and on occasion I have let it go, and I am usually disappointed with myself for it afterward. I have even found chocolate smeared up my staircase on the walls when kids are over during showers. I never take my kids with me either, besides, it is good to get away for a little bit.
Well, I don't think it is customary to bring kids (but honestly, I don't think there's a problem, personally, with teen girls coming).
I DO find it the hostess's responsibility to be clear in what is expected. Also, I do think that this should basically revolve around the expectant mother's preferences, if she has any. Written on the invites, clearly. Politely reminding that those with children will need a sitter... OR (sometimes I do for parties that will have many guests that have children) hire a babysitter or two for the children that DO come- have them set up in a separate room with a movie or something.
Baby showers are usually for women only. Sometimes I've seen girl children invited... and others ALL are invited- male and female. I say just be clear and if kids aren't invited say that specifically.
I've never been to a baby shower with lots of kids like that! There have been times that a mom might bring her baby, but it's because that baby is nursing and too little to be away from the mom for very long & if the mom lives very far away, it's the only option for her to come. No one cares about that. It's normal for here. But if it's a toddler or older, I imagine most moms would ask the host if it's okay if they bring their child. I know I would ask! That does seem a bit bizarre. That would bother me a lot to have kids walking around my house eating.
Even if an invitation says it's ok to bring kids, I wouldn't. Due to my own belief that Baby Showers are not for kids. Now a teen daughter, is ok to bring I think.
Some people don't have babysitters. My husband and I live here in AZ and we don't have any family or friends to watch our kids. So most of the time, we don't do anything because of the fact that we don't have babysitters, and I don't think it's right to have kids tag along to adult occassions such as baby showers.
And I think you shouldn't have to put on an invite to a baby shower, to not bring your kids, because that should be common sense/courtesy. I'm with you. I would be a bit upset.
When my very good friend threw me my baby shower I let her know that I didn't want to bring my kids and therefore didn't want anyone else's there either. She put something on the invitation like "L. is so excited to have some time with her mom friends!" and left it at that. Then, if I talked to anyone I let them know that I wasn't bringing my boys. No one brought kids.
I don't know if it's rude to bring kids or not. I just know that I preferred them not to be there. We women so rarely get time without our children that I really wanted it! The only time I think kids should go to showers is when they are nursing kids. Other than that...nope. Let the ladies have some time to themselves!
I'm with you! Children don't belong at showers unless specifically requested! It's ALWAYS tacky and poor manners to bring anyone to an event who wasn't specifically invited. Not everyone wants to be around someone's kids or put up with kids at an event. Just because somone has kids or is expecting doesn't mean they love being around other kids all the time.
The only people invited to ANY event are the people whose names appear on the invitation (assuming there is a written invitation that is sent by actual mail). If I receive an invite address to only me, then I'm the only person attending. If it has my name and my daughter's name, then I know we are both invited. I would NEVER bring my daughter (or husband or whomever) without knowing that they were specifically invited. I honestly think that if the bride/mom to be wants children in attendance (always too much running around/noise in my opinion) then that's fine. I personally wouldn't mind if it were just adults. People who think ever party is a "bring whoever you want" event have (IMO) never planned anything.
People who are invited to ANY event need to go by WHO is invited on the invitation. If it's unclear, they need to ask before they just show up with anyone "extra" -- kid OR adult! That's just common courtesy.
I think it is rude to assume your kids are invited to anything. If I am invited somewhere, and my DD isn't specifically included, I always call the person and ask if it's OK to bring her. If not, I stay home or make arrangements for her care.
Although, in my family, kids are always welcome at bridal and baby showers. To us, those are family functions. lol.
I don't think I've ever been to a shower where there weren't kids there. I personally do see the problem, depending on the location. I always go to showers where there is a hall of community center that is rented. So there is plenty of space for kids to be kids. If kids aren't allowed, maybe it should be specified on the invitation.
My family and friends all have kids and never plan a shower where the kids are not expected and typically planned for. However they are not allowed to run wild or be rude either. Well maybe my brother's kids, but well that is a different post...
I wouldn't bring my three year-old to a shower unless he was specifically invited, but I'm nursing my 7 week-old, so he goes with me invited or not.
I think that invitations apply only to those people whose names appear on them, for showers or any other event. For the record, I'm 30 :).
As far as kids spilling punch on your carpet, you are certainly within your rights to request the drink their punch at the table. You may have to offer them refresments even when they are uninvited, but you don't have to let them trash your house.
I think no matter whether it is a baby shower or a party, if the person doesn't specifically say children welcome or bring the whole family etc. it doesn't make sense to bring all of the girls in the family. It should be the person who is named on the invitation only. If they have a question about it, they should call the host to clarify, but it shouldn't be assumed. I personally invited the whole family to the baby showers I had because 1. I wanted them there. 2. They probably wouldn't /couldn't come if they had to find a babysitter. 3. Little girls are so much fun and they love babies, so who does it really hurt to have them there? That was how we did it, but I completely understand that people shouldn't just assume the whole family and kids especially can come.
I usually bring my daughter. However, she is respectful and I always get a ton of compliments on how well she behaves. She is 6. (I expect my children to behave. It's not option. If they don't behave, they are corrected immediately.) And for the record, I typically only go to showers of close friends or family. If it's a more distant relative or acquaintance, I either don't go or go alone.
And my children are never allowed to carry beverages around ANYONE"S house! I don't care if it's a party or not. That is just rude.........
I have been to showers of young mothers that have lots of friends who have recently had babies and they bring them with them. The young moms (under 23 yrs on average) all seem to think it is great fun. Of course, I wasn't hosting them, so I don't know how their invitation was addressed or worded.
As for me, I never take my child/children to functions without knowing that they are expressly invited. If it is a "family" event where hubby is invited or I know other whole families are involved, then I pretty much know to ask "the kids, too?". But for a bridal or baby or whatever shower.... No.
The only baby shower I ever to took my daughter to, was for a former babysitter of hers, who was given a shower at the church. The pastor's wife (and her daughters -- same age group as my daughter) was also going to be in attendance, and the kids always played outside on the playground at the church anyway-- so really they weren't participants in the shower. They played outside until the mom-to-be opened her gifts. My daughter wanted to see her open the gift from "us" (which was labeled as from our whole family, since she babysat for us).
I am with you on the food thing too. I really can't stand it when other adults think it is fine for their kid to wander around my house with food or drinks. Umm. NO. You want to walk around with it-- go OUTSIDE.
I have personally never been to a baby shower where everyone did not bring their kids along for the celebration. Baby showers are for all the ladies in the family IMO, and if you want the kids to eat at the table just ask that they do, I am sure no one would have an issue with that. If you do not want kids to come, than that should be on the invite (not the other way around).
If I'm hosting the baby showed I do not allow my own kids there because I can't be a good hostess if I'm chasing after two small children. Being that most of the people my age that are having children have friends that will have children I would expect that some kids would be there. If I didn't want kids to come I would have put "adults only" or "please no kids" to avoid confusion. It isn't like a baby shower is a cocktail party.
I have been to several baby showers and for the most part I do leave the kids at home because I want to enjoy the party but I have taken my 2 month old with me to one. I think any child older than 2 or 3 shouldn't be made to come because, no offense, but if I were that age a baby shower would be boring. It isn't a birthday party and while there is cake what is fun about watching people open presents that they can't even play with. I don't agree that you should assume that no kids will come to the party but I personally try to make other plans for my kids.
looks like lots of us would never conceive of a shower NOT including the little girls as well (my experience) and lots of us have never considered showers a place for kids at all, ever. hmm. might be worth noticing that SO many of us would never think twice about bringing the kids. it's obvious from the different answers you've received that many people have no idea their kids aren't welcome. might want to point it out on the invitation, next time, if that's the case. i sure wouldn't want to bring my kids to your house, i'd be a nervous wreck. if that's how they'd be received i would want to be forewarned.
NOW specifically, in our family it is assumed that of course the little girls are invited. i think, however, that most of the time we include their names on the invitaions. that's just common sense. if it was a shower that i was invited to that was not family, i would not assume. never know how some people do things. and i'm sure after reading some of these responses, i wouldn't want to take the chance.
I ask if I am ever not sure. I just called the hostess for my cousin's shower and she said other children would be there and it would be fine. I never assume that my child is wanted or allowed, but if other kids are there (say it's a family get together vs coworkers and friends), it may be more appropriate to bring them.
Now, as for the kids' behavior, that's a different post entirely. If I bring my DD, I keep an eye on her and she doesn't eat off other people's plates, though she might eat in the other room if there is no table set up. It really depends on the host, not just on me.
Every baby shower I've ever been to, children have been encouraged to attend. They make the event more enjoyable and how else are they going to learn to behave at baby showers when they're older?
I've never been to a baby shower of any culture where children from babies to teens weren't expected to be there whether they were explicitly invited or not. The only time I haven't brought my kids was when I was too exhausted to bring them and wanted time to myself, and technically they weren't invited. :-) I was politely chastized for not bringing the girls.