Bridesmaid Dresses

Updated on August 16, 2009
K.G. asks from Saint Paul, MN
14 answers

Just wondering who has let their bridesmaids pick out their dresses but you choose the color and who has not done it that way? I have a color in mind and I want long dresses for my girls... Infact I have 4 long strapless (in the color I want) bridesmaid dresses that I am thinking of that I want my girls to wear. I want their dresses the same style but they can decide if they want straps with it or just strapless. What do you think? I just dont want one of my girls to pick a short kneee length dress and the other two girls pick long dresses. Oh and my davids bridal dress i am looking at is 8567 which fits every size and is good for every size.

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K.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

My experience is pretty much the same as the rest. I had 4 bridesmaids (my brother was my Man of Honor) each with a different personality and 2 of which were pregnant. I gave them 3 colors that were in the wedding and added that if they found another complimentary shade I would not be opposed to it but would want to see it first. The 2 pregnant bridesmaids both chose the same color and the other 2 ended up in the remaining 2 colors so that all 3 shades were represented. All of the dresses were the same length but each dress suited the wearer perfectly (one friend loves vintage and she found an amazing dress that fit her personality perfectly). I also let them decide on shoes, jewelry and hair styles so that the over all look was what they wanted.

I also had all of the men in the wedding chose their own ties (most already owned black suits and those that didn't preferred to buy then rent). They had the same color options and were allowed to go with pattern the only stipulation was that one of the colors in a solid was to be worn only by my Dad and my Father-in-law. My husband wore black. To make things easy on everyone in the wedding I used fabric and paper samples (leftovers from some of the decorations) and gave each a Ziploc bag with the samples to make their shopping easier.

The overall look was exactly what I wanted and still looked very elegant. The most important thing was that everyone was happy and their personalities were not hidden.

My 4 flower girls wore the same dress in the lightest shade of the wedding which was also the same as one of the bridesmaids.

Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi Kristi

I did let the girls pick out the dress and I picked the colors . But I only had 4 girls and they all came with and agreed on the dress . I will say I had a style picked out they just had a few to pick from . I went with two colors one for my maid of honor and one for the rest of the girls . I have seen a quit a few weddings like that were there is two or more colors . Then some go with shades of the same colors for the flowers or center pieces so that brings in allot of different colors . Every one is different do it your way .

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A.N.

answers from Madison on

Ultimately, it is your wedding so you should do what you like. Personally, I took all my girls dress shopping and let them pick out the dress. Turned out that the one they chose only had 3 color choices and I only liked it in black. So that's what we went with. We had a winter wedding and the black looked so classic. (aside from my flower girl, I was the only one in white!) Then I went with white calla lilies w/ red ribbons wrapping the stems, just added some roses for my maid of honor.

Congratulations and best wishes to you!

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R.F.

answers from Appleton on

I was just in a wedding that the bride picked out the colors and took us to a friend that made dresses. Some of us went to David's bridal to pick out a style of dress and then printed a picture and the dress maker made each of our dresses to suit. The bride bought the fabric and we each paid the dress maker $50.00 for our dresses. We all had different style of dress and it was beautiful. My wedding was different I had my bridesmaids try on different styles of dresses and then we picked one that worked for everyone. Another wedding I was in a few years ago the Maid of Honor had a different color dress than the rest of the BMs but we all had the same style of dress. I think all 3 weddings were beautiful it just depends on the style and choice of the bride. I have pics from all 3 weddings if you want some ideas of what the differences are. You can email me and I will send you pics.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

Therer is alot of traditions that go into bride maids and Matron of Honor. Normally the brides maids are the same color & design with the matron of honor having either the same dress but a different design on the flowers.

You can also have them all different but same bouquet etc..etc There isn't a real traditional ways of doing a wedding party anymore. The most important way is however you feel about it... and it should be the way the bride selects but you must also take in consideration on the amt of funds that they have. If you absolutely want a particular dress & fabric and is out of the range of the bridemaids.. you should pay for the dress or let her step aside for someone else who can afford it. Use you best logic and don't be a bridellza

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

For my wedding, I chose the color of the dress that I wanted the ladies to wear. We went to a bridal shop in town and they tried on different styles. I had intended to let them all choose the style that they liked best (but all the same length). It turned out that they all chose the same dress.

My sister-in-law was very hands-off for her wedding. She told the three of us who were going to be bride's maids that she didn't care what we wore or what color it was as long as it wasn't yellow. The three of us (in three different parts of the country) found a web site that we looked at. We ended up with all the same color, but 2 of us wore one style and the 3 wore a slightly different style (she wasn't comfortable in an off the shoulder dress). It ended up looking fine because the one that was different stood in the middle.

One of my best friends did the same that I did and again we all ended up with the same style. Those were 2 piece dresses and they looked very nice. I have also been to several weddings where all of the dresses are the same color and length but different styles, or all the same style but different colors or shades of the same color. Sometimes it is just the maid-of-honor who has a dress that is a different color or shade.

Like someone else said, ultimately it is your wedding and you can decide what you like best. I think the "rules" for weddings have relaxed a lot in the last few years and you can make your wedding unique in whatever way you want to.

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L.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's your wedding, and I'd do what you prefer. I had burgandy dresses for an October wedding and my sister (MOH) was the same as the bridesmaids... I think it also looks nice when dresses are the same color but different styles- it's nice for you to allow them a little say in what they wear. My friend got married in Mexico and had us all (10 or so of us) pick any dress of our choice, just had to be blue or yellow. It looked awesome on the beach- and they were all different styles, etc- but worked great as well. I think it's all in the look you're trying to achieve...

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A.E.

answers from Des Moines on

Like most said it is your wedding. A few things to think about though as I thought of these with my wedding. I had 2 girls, one maid of honor, one was my bridesmaid. We wanted it small as we paid for it and it would cost too much with more people, remember people in your wedding get gifts, even 10 a person will really add up, guest table person, whoever helped with this and that, so it all adds up and fast.
I had a winter wedding, Dec 29th! ugg, not a good idea to have a wedding right around a BIG holiday anyway.
I wanted it Christmas colors since the church would still be decorated that way. Green and Red and silver. One of my girls had more money than the other so I didn't want to say you need this dress for this ammount. I let my moh pick out hers first, which turns out to be the most expensive one, then after that I told my bm that it was her turn and what colors.
make them buy BIG no matter what they say, I learned this the hard way, my bm thought she would loose weight.. we had a really hard time and had to ADD material to her dress since she didn't loose, she gained instead!

My girls are different body types too. One is very busty, the other isn't. One is tall, one is short. One wants a long dress the other didn't mind. I think for picture reasons it is nice to have the same length or if you have 4 girls have 2 of them with short and 2 long, just make sure it is even. If you would like message me and I can email you to show you what we chose!

Good luck and congrats enjoy wedding planning!

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R.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I got married two years ago. And I let my four girls pick out the dress that looked the best on them. Let's face it most women are shaped differently. Some wanting to hide things. Tummy,flabby arms, alot of cleavage etc. I felt that by me picking the color and the length of the dress and allowing them to pick the cut/neck. A-Line, Spaghetti Straps, strapless, halter, etc it allowed all of us to look our best and feel comfortable on a very long day.

A little about me:

I'm 30 year old soon to be mommy. Working full time.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was in a wedding where the bride chose the color and wanted a certain length (mid calf) but we each could pick out our own style. It was nice since the styles went with the person's body. (one of the toughest jobs is to find one dress style that compliments all of the bridesmaids styles.)

Since I chose I a dress I really liked - I was able to wear it for other functions.

Good luck!

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

i did let my bridesmaids choose the dress style, and i guess i just got lucky that all of them chose long ones ... however, the girls i picked wouldnt have picked short dresses anyway.

at david's bridal they have mix and match separates. you could choose the skirt (an A line pretty much suits everyone) and have them choose their own top. some are fancier than others though... so i dont know what you would like. you could check out the website, and you could specify choices between 3 or 4 different styles, or whatever number of them that you would approve.

however, for the most part, it sounds like you have made the decision what dress you want your bridesmaids wearing. i have never really heard of anyone really upset over a bridesmaid dress, unless of course it was truly hideous or something :P - typically, if your bridesmaids are true close friends they wont care what they wear, whether you choose it or they do.

only thing that you run across is if someone has some weight in their tummy, and you have an empire style cut... it makes them look pregnant, and it might not be so nice to get the "whens the baby due" question all day/night long. so consider your friend's body issues or sensitivities when you choose.

the best idea is to go to david's bridal, and see what they try on and what they like, and make sure you let them know what you like.
good luck!

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M.N.

answers from Fargo on

I let my bridesmaids choose their own dresses. I picked the color and the store and then they each got to choose a style they liked and fit their body styles. I love it the pictures look great and everyone was very comfortable. Our party ended up with 3 long dresses and 1 knee length. It sounds like you have a very distinct idea of what you want them to wear though and it would be hard to let them choose with all those specifications.

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S.J.

answers from Wausau on

In my wedding, all my bridesmaids wore the same dress BUT I wished I had just picked the color & general style (like you said, long dresses) & then let them all pick their own style. That was my original intention, but we ran out of time with everyone being scattered around the state. I think letting them pick their style is a good "compromise" & goes a long way, especially if you have picky bridesmaids! That way they get to show some individuality, express their own style & find something they are really comfortable in. And it is cool to see what everyone comes up with. I had 1 difficult BM - I asked her input many times as to what style she wanted, but she would just say "it's YOUR wedding", and then when I did pick one, it was obvious she didn't like it but I gave her many chances to tell me what she liked & she refused! I have seen a few weddings with 2 or 3 colors, which seems to work good if you have like 6 girls - than either 3 of them wear 2 colors, or 2 of them wear 3 colors, so there's the same amount for each color. But it's your wedding & anything goes these days! Good luck!

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N.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I only had 2 bridesmaids and one jr. bridesmaid -- "maid of honor" was a guy.

I took the two bridesmaids shopping and told them I was looking for "roughly" this shade or green or this shade of blue. The girls then tried on dresses and found one they both loved -- it worked out that it was a green I wanted.

There are a lot of bridesmaid dress lines out there now where you can select the "material and color" and then let the women select the "cut" that works best for their bodies. A lot also come in 2 pieces so that you could select the skirt length and they could then select different cut tops. I know 2 pieces sound funny for a wedding, but they look like a full dress -- but are WAY more comfortable to move in all day.

Good luck!

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