My friend is getting married. I am invited to her bridal shower and wedding. In both invites she said she is registered at bed bath and beyond. Wanted to get suggestions of appropriate gift for shower versus the wedding gift. Thanks
Well, first of all, it is beyond tacky to put registry information in a wedding invitation.
I would go by her age and how well you know her. If my 20's, it was common for my group of friends to do lingerie showers for everyone. Now, closer to 40, I would be horrified for folks buying that stuff for me.
It sounds though as her preference is that folks buy from her BBB registry. I would probably just pick from that.
I've never heard of a shower AND a wedding gift. If I bring a gift to the shower, I don't get a separate gift to bring for the wedding. When I got married (6 years ago), I didn't get duplicate gifts at the wedding from friends and family that had come to a shower, just gifts from those guests that didn't come to a shower. Don't make it harder then it is, just get whatever you want to give them and take it to the shower.
If you're going to both, you just get one gift. At my wedding, those who gave a gift at the shower never gave another gift at the wedding. That doesn't make sense to me.
Pick from the registry for both. Shower half the cost of the wedding. So, $25/50 or $75//150, depending on your budget!
Always go off the registry - for both events. It's in there for a reason (although I'm surprised they put it in the wedding invitation - bad etiquette). They spent a lot of time making it. Don't try to go off the registry thinking you can get them something more 'personal', more 'creative', more... They couldn't have made it easier for the purchaser - get them something they want.
If there is an obvious thing that seems like it's more geared towards the Bride, get her that for the bridal shower and more of a couple's gift for the wedding.
p.s., I used to be a wedding and event planner. I'm speaking from experience. Just put yourself in their shoes. Do you want someone trying to guess what fantastic thing you want, or do you want something from the list you spent all that time putting together? It's still a surprise and it's very exciting to get stuff that you really, really want rather than having to fake a smile over something you're really not thrilled with.
I usually spend around $25-30 on a shower and $100 on the wedding. For a really close friend of family member, I'll do more like $50 and $150.
For shower gifts I usually give something a little more personal (not necessarily from the registry and not as expensive) that is just for the bride. It could be a gift certificate for a massage, spa treatment, or mani/pedi, lingerie, a photo album/journal, a special book, scented lotions/body washes, etc. It could also be something fun like sundae dishes with toppings, a muffin tin with a cookbook and cupcake liners, etc. Maybe something that fits the theme of their honeymoon--Hawaii could be fun beach towels and sunscreen.
For wedding gifts I usually buy something from their registry or give a gift card from the store they have registered at. We got a few gift cards to nice restaurants that we saved for our first anniversary. I usually think of the wedding gift being for the couple and the shower gift being for the bride.
Usually the shower gift is less expensive than the wedding gift. Often the shower gift is more for her and less for him, though not always. Some people like to give a little more elegant gift for the wedding and something more utilitarian for the shower. So, for example, you might give kitchen or bath stuff for the shower, and go a little more upscale for the wedding (decor items, entertaining pieces, etc.). So give the bathroom scale and the kitchen utensils for the shower, and give the pillows and fancier cheese boards or wine glasses (things she will use for "company") for the wedding. But overall, if she's registered, she wants everything on the list and won't be offended either way.
I always write a check for the wedding gift and pick something from the registry for the shower.
Did the wedding invitation actually tell the invited guest where they are registered?
For my friend's lingerie shower, I bought her a short robe and some sexy slippers. I wanted to give her something that she could always feel sexy in and not outgrow. I was thinking ahead to hormonal changes and pregnancies....
I like what one poster said about picking something from the registry for the shower (within your budet) then give a small monetary gift that you can afford for the wedding present.
Hi. in addition to the good advice, i try to buy what I think my friend would like/enjoy. and something that i think she will feel good about our friendship using.
As she has a list, i would pick 2 items and personalize the card in a way she knows you thought about her and her future use of the items in the start of her new life.
DOes that make sense?
whatever you choose, you sound like a good friend...so i am sure she will enjoy it :)
Updated
Hi. in addition to the good advice, i try to buy what I think my friend would like/enjoy. and something that i think she will feel good about our friendship using.
As she has a list, i would pick 2 items and personalize the card in a way she knows you thought about her and her future use of the items in the start of her new life.
DOes that make sense?
whatever you choose, you sound like a good friend...so i am sure she will enjoy it :)
