Breastfeeding Support

To those who do not support your breastfeeding your baby, say that the WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION recommends breastfeeding for AT MINIMUM ONE YEAR, preferably two and, beyond that, as long as both mother and child find it mutually rewarding.

Tell your sister that you think [shrimp/mushrooms/caviar/runny eggs/whatever] is disgusting, too.

Ask them: if they think breastfeeding at 11 1/2 months (or 14 months, 20 months, 28 months, whatever) is disgusting, how do they suppose you should handle diaper changes, potty training, clothing changes and bath time? Perhaps you (and your husband!) should withhold caring for your baby in these ways, as well? Then, tell them you will stop nursing when you damn well feel like it, and that you don't want to hear another single word about it from them.

Also, tell your sister, your aunt, or anyone else who thinks it is appropriate to give you a hard time about caring for your extremely sick little baby in the way you instinctively know is best for him, that they can keep their opinions to themselves, and they should know better than to badger the mother of such a sick little child, and to pressure you to stress him with weaning at a time when he has more than enough to deal with as it is.

Absolutely do not force any kind of weaning that your son is not ready for. Constant crying is the last thing a baby needs when dealing with an illness. It drains him of the energy (and calm) that he needs in order to rest and get better.

Don't make any baby cry it out. There is a better way. You can feel it deep down as a mother that this method isn't right. That feeling of stress that you have when he cries is there for a reason - it is there to get you to your son to comfort and care for him till he is calm again. Your son, in particular, needs to cry as little as possible because he is sick and needs all of the energy reserves he can call upon to get better. Be his advocate and his ally in providing a peaceful environment that promotes a strong immune system.

You can learn more about how to wean him - WHEN YOU AND HE ARE BOTH READY (not when others ignorantly feed you stress about when they arbitrarily decide you may and may not nurse your child) - peacefully and healthfully - by reading the Sears Breastfeeding Book, or going to askdrsears.com, or browsing the La Leche League website, llli.org

Do what you know in your heart is best for your baby. Don't fall prey to the misguided prejudices of people like your sister and aunt, who are just uninformed members of an oversexed society that makes intimate but natural and healthy mothering behaviors like breastfeeding "dirty." Your breasts are not disgusting, and breastfeeding your child is not disgusting. It is absolutely natural, normal (the world over!) appropriate and extremely healthful for children at his age - and twice it! If you were not meant to nurse your son now, if it were unnatural, your milk wouldn't be there now, would it?

Stay strong! Your baby really needs you right now!!

L.

Hi A..
Please don't be discouraged about nursing at and even beyond one year. We live in one of the only cultures that doesn't judge moms for allowing bottles beyond the first year but does pass judgement for nursing beyond the first year. I nursed my son (now 3) for 16 months among all the family gossip, usually it was behind my back - unless it was my mom, she told me she thought I was wierd).
I have girl friends who nursed until there child turned 2... I intend to nurse my daughter (currently 7 wks) until 18 months unless she weans herself... which kids will do! Look up the topic in Mothering Magazine, they have an online publication or go to askdrsears.com for advice on how to address the people you love in a kind way when they verbalize their lack of knowledge on the subject of nursing.
Isn't it ironic that you don't want to hurt their feelings, but theyt sure don't mind how their comments may make you feel...?!
Good luck & happy/ healthy nursing!
V.

I nursed my first baby 3 years and my second is still nursing at 2 1/2. Nursing is a very personal relationship between a mother and baby. I have used my extended nursing as an opportunity to educate those who think it's gross after 6 mths. Do some research! Be ready to counter those comments with confident answers about how good nursing is for both you and your baby's health. Let them know that your baby's health and happiness are more important than their uneducation opinions. I honestly think a lot of those who make comments are almost jealous. Most of them were never able to accomplish what you are.

It sounds like you child and you aren't ready to wean. Don't let other people influence your decision. I let my first son self wean and he did at 17 months. Don't let people make you feel like it's disgusting. It's the most natural thing between a mother and child. It annoys me that people can be so hurtful about breastfeeding. They should be supportive of your choice to do so. Nurse him for as long as you are comfortable doing it.

I also got NO support from family members, but my friends and I decided to nurse as long as our babies wanted and needed it. Today, our children our in their 20s and living healthy and independent lives. Nursing helps brain development and the friends and I who did this all have very sharp kids with excellent educations and very good jobs. Please work on not pleasing your family all of the time. It is OK for them to feel differently but not to inflict their beliefs on you. Perhaps you need to sit down with this sister and kindly, but gently tell her how it makes you feel for her to be telling you how to live your life. Do what your heart and good common sense tells you to do. Consult the World Health Organization and the La Leche League for support. My motto is "Baby a baby when he is a baby and you won't have to baby him his entire life!"

A.,

Good for you for breastfeeding and getting so far! First of all, tell you sister to go jump in a lake. Breastfeeding is never disgusting, especially at such a young age. I do admit that nursing after age 2 creeps me out a little, but at one year of age! Get real. I weaned at 1 year because I was ill with severe food poisoning and was worried about giving it to her. I would have gone to 18 months given the choice. You wean when it is right for YOU and HIM! Screw everyone else. You can try pumping and weaning him off of you by giving him breast milk in a bottle (I was a prolific pumper, kind of like a Dairy, and my DD drank breast milk for 2 months after we weaned). We had a sudden weaning, and it was a few days of awkward, in which I established a new bed and nap time routine. After a week, we were ok. You can always give him a snack at his awkward feeding times, a tube of yogurt perhaps. You can try getting up at 5:30 and just trying to lull him back to sleep, or it might be time to get him up earlier and feed him and then go fao an early morning nap. You may be looking at a brief, or long term shake up of you schedule.

Good luck to you, but don't let ANYONE tell you that the gift you are giving to your son is anything less than wonderful. If they don't like it, they don't have to be there. Try getting your Mom to tell her to shut her trap and keep her unsupportive opinions to herself. The long term benefits of the sacrifices you make now are more than worth it. Hang in there Good and Loving Mother. You are doing a great job!

D. H

Breastfeed as long as you can. My daugther wean at 14 months. I wish she would have for longer but that is what she wanted. Some children need to breastfeed longer. Dont listen to what negative things your family say. People who think that breastfeeding is disgusting need to remember that breastfeeding is what breast are for. Good luck to you and remember that they are only young once and before you know it they are grown.

blessed be

I weaned my twin daughters a few weeks after they turned 1. When we were dropping daytime feedings, I would distract them with snacks, playtime, stroller rides, etc. i slowly dropped nursings until we only nursed at night, and then I dropped that one too. Now we have bathtime, and then I just cuddle them for a few minutes and they will drop off to sleep in the crib. Mine do take pacifiers for naptime and bedtime, so I will have to wean them off those in the near future. Hope that helps!

I am a little late responding, and I see you have gotten plenty of advice, but I wanted to add my "two cents"! I nursed my son until he was a month or so past 2 years. I gradually increased the time between feedings until I was nursing about 4 times a day after he turned a year. Then in a few months it was 3 times, then only morning and night. I thought I'd keep the night time feeding, but he stopped being very interested at night, so we kept only the morning feeding for the last couple of months. My husband would bring him to our bed when he woke up, and he would nurse and snuggle. It was a sweet and special time. Eventually, he started wanting to play as soon as he woke up, so we stopped altogether. I wouldn't change a thing! My biggest advice is do what's best for you and your son, and try not to stress about it. You are a good mom!

A.,

The decsion to breatfeed is personal and do not let anyone influence you to stop. If you think your son is ready to wean then stop but from the sounds of it he still needs you. I breastfeed my 1st child for 22 wonderful months and my 2nd for 16 months (I know many people will think i am weird and will write negative comments). Both my girls weaned on their own. My girls are now 4 and 7 are are healthy as ever. My oldest has never been on antibiotics while my little one has only used them twice due to her tonsils. I contribute this to nursing. Do what your heart tells you. Dont feel defeated or ashamed as your son has had 11 plus months of your milk which is a great accomplishment!

Hi A.,
I think the longer you can breastfeed the better. During the day, after breakfast, lunch and dinner, instead of nursing (if you want to stop those feedings) try giving him a healthy snack and see how he does with that.
I nursed my son until he was 15 months old. The way we stopped is not recommended for anyone else. I ended up in the hospital on a Friday morning and didn't get out until Tuesday the next week. I had a gallbladder attack on Thursday night and had surgery to remove it on Monday morning. We decided that was a good time to stop, since I didn't have anymore milk. I nursed him as long as I did because his heart surgeon told me my milk was the best thing for him. My son was born with a heart defect and had open heart surgery when he was 8 days old. I am so glad I nursed, because he rarely gets sick, other than issues with his heart and a cold here and there. Good luck. Don't worry about what others think. You do what is best for your son.

When I started weaning I started at snack time. When my daughter was ready for snacks I would give her the finger food and sippy cup first and when she was done then we'd nurse. It didn't take very long to knock us down to first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Eventually I started doing the same thing in the morning, breakfest first than nurse until she started to be more interested in playing after eating than curling up with mommy. Bedtime was the hardest one for me, because I loved that bedtime cuddle, but once it became obvious that she wasn't really nursing so much as cuddling hubby and I started taking turns putting her to bed and it was an easy transition. This is definately not a fast approach. I'd say we started this process when she was about 10mo old and she was completely weened at 15mo, but it was very natural and I never felt like I was forcing her to stop nursing.

Hey, I was thinking, you know every child is different. He might not be ready to wean yet. I have a son that is 8 months and one that is 3. It's amazing how different they are. My mother inlaw thought that it was wild that I was breastfeeding when he got his first tooth, and he was only 3 months. Some doctors suggest weaning at 15 - 24 months. Again, every child is different and so is every parent. Your mother, sister, and aunt are probably different than you are, but that's your child and for good reason. You'll make the right decision for your child, not for your relatives. It can be frustrating when everyone has so many opinions and you're already confused because you want to be the best possible mother you can be. But, remember you don't have to listen to anyones opinion and sometimes if you need to, you can let them know that. Your son just wants to be close to you. And I know some mothers that nurse there kids just to go to sleep and they're almost two. I don't see anything wrong with it. Just keep trying to give him other liquids, he'll learn. Good luck! You're doing good. -C.

Both my daughters nursed after 12 mths. My 8 yr old daughter nursed until she was 13 mths old and my 2 yr old nursed until she was 18 mths old. I started trying to break them of nursing at about 10 mths. They just weren't ready. And just when I felt like giving up, they both weaned themselves. I started by skipping the morning feeding and then made it just as long as I could for the lunch feeding. After my little one was comfortable with that, I went to just an evening feeding right before bed. And eventually I tried to sidetrack my daughter at night until she was tired enough to fall asleep on her own without nursing. Hope this helps. Just know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. All babies are different and have their own schedule, which is not necessarily the same one we have.

A little about me: I am a stay at home Mom married to the love of my life, mother of a 9 yr old son, an 8 yr old daughter, and a 2 yr old daughter.

A., I am not a breastfeeding mom. My son is adopted and we had about a week to prepare for him. I do know this however. I got and still do get, critical comments from my sister on how I parent. I don't do it the way she does so I must be bad right? If you look back, she is probably critical of other things in your life. SO WHAT!!!!!. God gave you this baby. If he was bottle fed would they be so concerned about you getting him off formula? Tell them to mind their own business. 11months is very young. I wouldn't have considered taking my son off the bottle that early. He still nurses several times a day as well so that would be a huge jolt to his little world. You are mommy. You are love, comfort, food, entertainment, soothing, you are everything. Why would you deny him that? If you are tired of nursing, then wean him to the bottle. If you are happy with life, then ask ignore them, and take care of your son the way you know to do. Both of my best friends breastfeed. One has 4 and the other 5. They both breast fed past 2. Do I find it bizarre for a 5 year old to breastfeed? personally yes. But again, that mom is doing what she thinks is best and who am I to judge her? Good luck sweetie. Just keep loving your baby.

There is nothing magical about the "one year" time-to-wean philosophy. You and your baby will know when it feels right. At about a year, your "baby" starts looking like a little person and others are surprised that he is still nursing. But you know that he is still a baby and needs his mommy for closeness and nutrition. All 3 of my kids were weaned by 18 months, but none by 12 months.

Well the first question is.....are you ready to quit? Or are you doing only quitting cuz of your family's remarks? You need to make your decision to wean based on yours and your baby's needs, not negative comments. But if you truly ready for it to be over, here's what I did. I switched my babies to bottle for all the daytime feedings and kept nursing for bed. I believe the transition from breast straight to sippy is just too hard. But you can wean the bottle in a couple of months. Then once baby is switching from bottle to cup, you can start to fade out the bedtime nursing as well. Hope that doesn't sound too confusing. And what works for one mommy may not work for another. Good luck. Hope you make the decisions that you feel are right for you guys.
A. K

Why are you listening to people instead of your child. He still needs to nurse. Put on your Mommy panties and be his Mommy. Not every child progresses at the same rate. If he's not ready you are setting him up to have eating disorders because of being hungry and not being fed. Go by your baby's needs, not others remarks.

Hello A., First of all don't let anyone else make that decision for you. I breastfed all four of my children and they were all weaned at different times. Like yours, one of mine wouldn't take the pacifier so I was her pacifier. All I can tell you is to slowly cut out one breast feeding a week. Otherwise you can get mastitis and that hurts. If your childs favorite feeding is at the 5:30 am one then do that one last. Eventually they will decide that food is better and not need the breast. Make sure that you give him a sippy cup sitting around so that when he is thirsty he can chose a drink from that. Don't go to bottles then you'll just start another weaning episode. Like I said I have four kids and one was weaned at 12 months, the longest I went was 14 months (the non-pacifier kid) and making the decision to not do it when he is sick is great!! He needs your milk now. My main thing is to take your time and do it on YOUR time, not when someone else thinks you should do it!!

What are you ashamed of? You are doing the best thing for you and your baby. I breastfed all my boys more than a year. As for weaning - I took a clue from them. When they were ready to give it up was when we gave up.

Give yourself a pat on the back for hanging in there.

You go girl!

Nursing is between you and your baby. My son weaned himself at 11 months, though I still wanted to continue to at least a year. I got pregnant when he was 9 months, though, so I don't know how much effect my changing hormones had on my milk. At any rate, if your extended family has a problem with it, that is THEIR problem. It is YOUR baby and YOUR body. My dad was uncomfortable with the idea of me nursing in front of him, but when he and my mom visited, he would go shopping around town rather than require me to go upstairs to nurse in private.

My aunt nursed one of my cousins until she was about 2-and-a-half years old; just once a day, more of a comfort thing. But she didn't mind, and my cousin eventually weaned herself. If your baby is not ready to stop nursing, and you are not ready to stop nursing, then don't stop nursing. It's not harmful to you or your baby.

I hope your son feels better soon and that you feel better, too. :)

I know that family members don't always understand, but you are doing the right thing. The longer you nurse the more health benefits you transmit to your child and the less allergies he will have. Also his brain development is being bettered through the sucking need being satisfied as long as the child needs it. He/she will wean when they are ready and in the meantime, your child will be emotionally and physically more healthy for it. Also, you may want to consider that the best solids for the baby to start with are the fruits and vegetables, not the grains, since the grains are more allergenic. Your mothering instincts are correct.
B. S. RN CCM

I am one to say listen to your baby not the adults! My youngest son nursed the longest until he was 15 months. He at 12 months went down to 3 a day...morning, afternoon, and bedtime. Most babies will wean between 12-15 months as long as you have introduced other foods and at a year sippy cups of juice, etc.
You know what is best for you and baby.

My son is almost 3 now, but I remember when I weaned him. I didn't even start thinking about it until he was a year old. Then I started introducing cow milk at mealtimes. He actually kind of weaned himself. I just noticed that there were certain times of day that he wasn't as interested & would only nurse for a couple of minutes. So I cut one of those out first. Then every couple of weeks cut out another one. I held on to the morning & bedtime feedings, mostly for my sake for a while. Then I noticed that he wasn't interested in the morning nursing anymore, so I just decided to take that time to cuddle, if he would sit still. Then a couple of weeks later I stopped the night feeding too, once again because he acted disinterested. I had intended to breastfeed until he was at least 15 months old, which is when his doctor told me was a good time to stop, but it ended up happening at a little over 14 months. It seemed like a long process at the time but looking back, it was just over 2 months. I guess it was because he was ready. I was a little heartbroken & still miss it now. But we still have that cuddle time every morning, so that helps a little.

Ok I have two children and I too breastfeed them. My daughter was tube fed so I pumped and gave it to her that way. My son breastfeed till 12 months. The day he turned a year he woke up and I gave him a sippy cup that had the sott spout. He did great! I was amazed at how easy it was. He too was not a passy user. I think 12 months is long enough. But it is your child and your right,so don't stop because you feel your being pressured. Do it because you want to. Also It takes a strong woman to breast feed and you have done the right thing for your child! So don't worry about what others think:)---A.

I am still nursing my almost 19 month old and plan on letting her self-wean. There is absolutely nothing wrong with nursing your baby for more than 12 months. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatricians released a statement that mothers and their baby's can breastfeed for as long as is mutually desired and there are no untoward effects from it. Your milk will continue to provide immunities and nutrition.

If you really do want to wean (and that's because you want to not because people make you feel like you have to)just try to do it slowly. Replace each nursing time with an alternative, read a book together, sing a song, have a cup of milk, snuggle, go outside and play, whatever it takes to distract him from his desire to nurse. Be prepared to be extra sensitive and patient with him, it will be hard for him to understand why he is being denied nursing at first. But, by being extra loving and snuggling with him in replacement of the nursing you can show him that he can wean with love and not feel forced.

A great website for breastfeeding information is www.kellymom.com or www.askdrsears.com

Are you ready to quit nursing him? .....or just embarrassed by other people's rude comments? If you are ready, go for it. If you are being shamed into it, you may want to rethink your motivations. I had a few friends that nursed their children until they were around 3 years. Personally, that did not work for me, but their choices are not mine to make. Sometimes people were so rude about it (I don't understand why people fixate on it) that they lied and hid it from others. I nursed one child for 12 months (she weaned herself), one for 15 months and one for only 8 months. Every situation is different. Do what stresses you the least so that you can be the best mother to your children. You may want to think of a response to let people know that their intrusions into your personal choices are not welcome. You could possibly say something like "Why do you ask?" "I do not understand why this is such a big problem for YOU." or "What I am doing is not harmful to my child, but is obviously bothering you. I would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions to yourself." Good luck!

I would do want YOU want to do, not what others are telling you to do. Do what is best for YOU and your baby!!
I breastfed my oldest till she was 21 months. For the most part people wouldn't tell me anything. I did have some rude comments. I never did/do it in public - I always nurse in private.
I am breastfeeding now and I plan to till she is 3 or older. The longer the better. Plus it's SO much cheaper and easier!!
If you are ready to wean him, then I would pump your milk and start mixing it w/cows milk. I just told my daughter it was ALL GONE, but she was older and understood that. But I didn't gradually take her off, so now she won't drink milk at all. My second one did great and switched to formula (b/c I got pregnant and stopped producing milk). She is now on soy milk.
Good Luck to you!! Sydne D'Anne

First of all, pediatricians recommend breastfeeding until age 1, so your family is a little out of date. It's certainly not disgusting and it sounds like you don't think so either. I nursed my son, who really liked it, until 12.5 months. It was actually much easier to wean than I thought. I think most kids kind of hit a point when they are ready. With us, as soon as he could have cow's milk in a sippy cup (he would never take a bottle), we weaned slowly...1 feeding at a time. He didn't really seem to notice. What I would recommend is offering your son a sippy cup of milk instead of nursing and see if that satisfied him. It's possible he might not go back to sleep in the morning, but may be really ready to wake up. I know a lot of kids who get up pretty early sometimes. Good luck!

Listen, I breastfed my son going to sleep until he was 2 1/2. I had a lot of negative comments from family, but it was what he needed. I gradually cut out daytime feedings, but it was soothing for him as he was going to sleep. Do what is good for you and him. This is his precious time as a little one. Let him be comforted. People have pre-set ideas about how long breastfeeding is "ok" and "allowable". You know yourself and your boy the best. Do what you feel is right.

Hey.... my birthday is on the same day as your son!

I say, nurse that baby until he weans himself or when you are ready. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Do what's right for your baby and yourself.

I nursed my first until he was 17 months old and he weaned himself... even though I wasn't really ready.

I only got to nurse my 2nd baby for 8 months. I got pregnant with my third when she was only 5 months old and my supply dried up. It was very difficult for both of us.

and then I nursed my 3rd baby for 18 months and I weaned her because she was very demanding and I was ready to stop.

You have to do what's right for your child and your baby. It is NOT GROSS to nurse your child! It is the best thing you can do for him and if you both still find comfort in nursing- then do it!

I miss those days. They're gone before you know it.
N.

OH GIRL!
Does that sister have children? Has she ever breast fed? Did she give her babies bottles? Mammas need support, not comments! Tell them if you need advice you'll ask for it and APPRECIATE it. But keep random comments to themselves, they are the gross ones, not you!
I fed my girl until she was 22 months. Babies will naturally wean themselves. As her system developed and she graduated up the food scale, she gradually required less and less feedings. I then produced less and less milk and TA DA! she was mostly weaned. I was only feeding once or twice a day, once when she woke up and before she went to bed (mostly a comfort thing, WHICH BABIES NEED!). Then my husband and I left for a weaning celebration three day getaway, I instantly dried up that weekend and she never wanted to nurse again. DONE DEAL. She NEVER had a bottle or a pacifier, just went straight to a sippy cup which we used during the day for water and soy milk between feedings.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Your son NEEDS the nutrition, comfort, and antibodies for quite awhile. When someone tells you feeding is gross, tell them that depriving your child of what he needs and sticking a piece of plastic filled with artificial milk in his mouth is WAAAYYYYY more disgusting and unnatural!

GOD BLESS!

It might help you feel better about your choices and following what your child needs if you got more support from other sources...La Leche League or a similar group might make you feel much better because you will find lots of moms in similar situations--whose families didn't always support them and who just felt they needed to do what was best for their child.

If it were me, I would just stop talking about it with anyone in my family who didn't support it. It's not really any of their business so I'd probably even ignore it if they tried to bring it up, but then again, if they ask when you're going to wean, you can always say you've already started, because the second you give your child any other food you are technically in the weaning process. =)

Oh, and when you feel like it is time to wean completely, if you decide you need to help the process along (aka, if you want to wean a little faster than your child does), that's another great time to talk to a La Leche League leader or to read a book like How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson.

I hope you feel supported by everyone's advice on here to follow your heart and take care of yourself and your child and let the rest go. YOU know what's best for you and for your son. Best of luck!