Breastfeeding/night Weaning

Here's another vote for Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution"...she's great and I think she's just what you're looking for. My boys slept with us till they were each 2 and night-weaned gradually. It's just a gradual process. At 2, they both decided to "move out" on their own. It was a very peaceful transition for everyone.

Good luck!

Try The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Very kind. She gives strategies for moving to their own bed (in stages) and night weaning. All very gentle, and totally NOT CIO. I would, however, say try one at a time. Dont' try them at once, that would be too much for him!

My children night weaned themselves, so it IS possible. My son did at 19 months, my daughter at 15. They will not always associate nursing with sleep. Just wanted you to know in case you felt like this would never stop. But if you're ready, then I definitely suggest Elizabeth's book.

Good luck, and yay to you for wanting to do this in a gentle and kind way.

***ETA I wanted to add that all children are different, as my daughter actually started STTN and night weaned WHEN i let her start sleeping with me!
Also, I think Tracy Hogg's "whisperer" books are hoggwash (pun intended). She tries too hard to be on the fence about things (like she wants to be in the middle of, say, Ferber and Dr. Sears), which I think she does to be moderate and appeal to more people. She suggests taking into account a child's personality, which I think is great, but I believe she is not at all supportive of extended breastfeeding. IN her Toddler Whisperer book, she actually says that breastfeeding a toddler is because the mom is having a hard time letting go, not because it can be good for the toddler. Knowing that she feels that way makes me question any of her other advice.

It is always best to take one change at a time. Sounds like you want him to still sleep with you but are ready to wean him. OR perhaps you want him to sleep in his bed but will still be willing to breastfeed. Either way, I would do just one at a time.
I have moved my baby to his bed more, but still breastfeed. I rock him when he needs the comfort instead of putting him in my bed. He is 10 months now and I plan on breastfeeding until this summer, for the added comfort and antibodies he will get during the winter.

To be gentle you will just have to keep reinforcing whatever you put in place instead of breastfeeding until he doesn't associate comfort/sleep with the breast. I am sure you will do great, be patient, they grow up so fast. Enjoy as much as you can.

Hi There!

I normally don't respond to much... I've been so busy!

My daughter continued to sleep in the bed until she was 3 and although I tried to get her to sleep through the night, it never happened. Before long she would attach herself to me in my sleep and I never knew it! LOL! I would wake up to my little girl attached and smiling at me! :) My advice? Enjoy it. The same lips that used to be around my breast now are used to talk back to me. How I wish... BTW, I never regret breastfeeding/co-sleeping with my daughter for as long as I did. I regret not doing it longer. She has never been ill, she will be in a room full of sick kids and she'll be the only one that dosen't catch whatever is going around. Please keep it up! I did for 25 months and yes! He will start sleeping through the night too. The benefits for extended breast feeding are so wonderful. Your baby will thank you when it is grown. Also, the CIO method? google the words: "Harvard cry it out" and see how you feel about it then. I know at the natural foods store in Sherman they sell Mother's milk tea and it can increase your supply so that he'll get more out of each feeding. Also try feeding something heavy to him right before sleep time. Hope all of this helps, if you ever have questions or just feel the need for support, contact me. I love attachment parenting!

I had the same issue with my son who I nursed until my daughter was born (19 months). He slept with us and woke to nurse in the night. I first tried making it difficult for him to get to me by turning my back which worked sometimes but the best idea we had that worked very well was for my husband to put my son on the other side of him as far from me in the bed as possible after he fell asleep. When he didnt smell me next to him he slept through the night no problem.

We did eventually move my son to a crib in our room which lasted till my daughter was born and then he was right back with us. I weaned him one month before my baby girl was born but that was a whole different story.

Good luck,
A.

I suggest doing one or the other first. Personally I don't like the "cry it out" either and with my breastfed daughter I ended up waiting until she was completely weaned before moving her to her own room. She just moved to her own room a week ago and is doing fine, waking occasionally but she's doing better than I thought she would. She just turned 15 months old. My daughter began weaning herself at 10 1/2 months, got on whole milk and started nursing less (at night too) at 1 year old and by 13 months she was fully weaned and nursed only if she was sick. She stayed in my bed, after unsuccessful attempts to get her in her own room before she was done weaning, till she was 15 months old. She then got to be a handful in our bed, thrashing around and kicking us in her sleep, so we decided to try her in her own toddler bed. It took a few days of frequent waking, but now she sleeps in there all night and we sleep better too. All of us are happy.

I personally think it's too traumatic to do both weaning and moving them into their own room at once. I mean, how would you feel if BOTH of your comforts got stripped from you? You'd feel terrible, possibly rejected and confused. I suggest doing one at a time and wait till one phase is complete before starting the other phase. So, if you choose to wean first you should wait until he is completely weaned and is sleeping all night happily before trying to move him to his own big boy room. Just a suggestion though, you're the Mommy and you know your son best and how he might handle the situation.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do! **hugs**

At this age your child has been able to accept things like cereal for a few months so if you have the ability to pump the milk I would add some cereal to I know that the doctors say that you should feed the child from a bowl only but if your child is waking up through the night to eat then he is not getting enough and needs some thing a little heavier on his stomach to carry him through the night just use a little in reality you should not be able to look at the bottle and tel that the cereal is in the bottle
Good luck with getting some sleep

First of all, CONGRADULATIONS and major props for making it 11 months and counting on breast feeding your son! I only breast fed my son until he was 5 months due to a sudden drop in supply and an inability to get it back up, but... My son co-slept with me for a very long time. He would sleep 5-6 hours straight from the very first night home and at about 3 1/2 months began nursing EVERY 2 hours for more than a week straight day and night. I found that once I transitioned him to his own bed his feedings went down significantly.

He completely refused to sleep in his own crib in his own room, so we compromised and I moved his crib into my bedroom where I had to lay with him to get him to sleep. I would nurse him and cuddle him until he fell asleep and then lay him in his crib. As soon as he would hit the crib he would begin to FREAK out, so I had to lay in our bed an dlet him old my finger until he was SOUND asleep so that he would stay sleeping. This only lasted about 1 week and he continued to sleep in our room until about 7ish months old. At that time he began waking shortly after I would lay down for bed for a bottle and then again a few hours later and I discovered that it was due to his readiness to sleep in his own room.

I then moved the crib into his room and would put him down in the crib when he was ready for bed and when he woke for his first bottle (usually around 6ish am) I would then bring him to our room and lay him in his pack n play beside the bed as I had already weaned him of co-sleeping in bed with me. This again lasted about a week or two before he would sleep straight through the night until it was time to get moving for the day with no middle of the night feedings. He is now almost 1 and has been in his own room ever since and rarely(maybe once a month at most) wakes for a feeding in the middle of the night.

I found that the transitions were actually harder in the long run on me than on my son, but in the end, I think that you will find both of you sleeping more and your quality of sleep being much better. I know that I did. Hope this helps and sorry for being so long winded. If it doesn't work out right away though try not to get frustrated. He'll wean himself of those night feedings when he's ready. :)

My son is also 11 months and we are "for the most part" sleeping through the night. Rather than cut out his night feedings, I would transition him to his own bed. I have found that when he sleeps with me, he wakes up more and nurses more in the middle of the night. If I can get my lazy bottom to get back out of bed at 2am to put him back to bed, he will sleep until 7 (or later)...if I keep him with me, he wakes up every 1-2 hours

I nursed my son for 11 months and was ready to stop (he was still nursing consistently during the night) so we went on vacation to change up his schedule. I thought the biggest reason he was still nursing was habit or just schedule regularity so we went somewhere with a time change and totally shook up his schedule. He never once cried for the breast and started drinking out of a straw cup immediately. I noticed he was hungrier in the early morning so we would get up about 4:30 -5:00 and give him a banana and he would go right back to sleep. He was a breast "addict" and I was so nervous about weaning him because I didn't want to make him cry but it was the easiest thing ever. We were in a new place and his eating schedule was off and when I didn't offer the breast, he didn't ask for it and took his milk happily. Just make sure you're 100% ready because there is no going back! I miss it sometimes but we were both very ready!

Have you read "How Weaning Happens?" It has a lot of good, gentle suggestions.

We had a similar situation.
My friend who was an older parent had a great suggestion and it really worked for us.
We had Daddy do the nightime routine before we started weaning to get him used to it, and he slept on the other side of him so he couldn't turn over and nurse during the night.
Also, as a side benifit, our son has very strong healthy teeth, because he didn't have milk sitting on his teeth at night!

Good luck.-A.

This suggestion was very helpful for me, you may want to try it as well! You can do two things, one is wait a little longer each time he wakes up before you nurse and/or two, decrease the time he nurses by a couple of minutes each night by gently removing removing him. Since most often they are not nursing for the calories at night at this age, they won't really notice if you shorten the nursing time and eventually you can totally wean. I did this with my daughter and it was very smooth. At the end when we stopped completely, she did cry for a few minutes, but I would leave her in the crib and rub her back and then leave--if needed I would shorten the time I was in there each night. She was done with this process in a couple of nights. good luck!

I made that mistake with my first child and did not get them in their own bed until they were almost five years old.There is no way. You started this and now you want to stop it? He sleeps with you and nurses whenever he wants and that is all he knows. My next two I nursed for two years and they nursed night and day but were in their own beds. I just dealt with the sleep deprivation. I let my first child sleep with me and I did not repeat that with the next two because there is no kind way to stop it, so my best advice is with any subsequent children you do not start letting them sleep with you. My children who always slept in their own beds were much healthier emotionally (less whiny and had their own sense of self) and still got all the physical and emotional nurturing of being nursed for extended periods plus you and your husband need a space for just you as a couple.

I agree with not taking the nursing away first or at he same time. that would be too taxing on both of you. my second son was 10 months old when I finally got him in his own bed (bad reflux problems). I unfortunatley had to let him cry it out without me cause if I reentered his room to console him he got worse and frantic. Since yours will vomit I am not sure what to suggests. He is now 15 months old and the last 2 nights he is learning to go to sleep without nursing . one night he let me rock him to sleep and the second night I had to leave him to cry for about 3 min and then I went in and was able to rock him to sleep. He is going to need you one way or the other which makes it h*** o* us not so keen on hearing our children cry. My 3 yr old still sleeps with us and I am trying to put him in his own bed. He is much more stubborn than his younger brother. any who Good Luck sorry no advice. Maybe only let him cry for a very short bit not long enough to get ill and then go rock him to sleep and maybe he will adjust after a few trys like that

I use the Babywisperer book/method by Tracy Hogg. It is NOT a cry it out method! You teach your child how to sooth himself. I've used it both times and still love it.

Maybe you should try switching to the "feed to wake" method. It might take some time, but I used that method the entire time I was nursing my daughter and then when I stopped and switched to formula. Basically, you just switch the feeding schedule to where they eat when they wake up, instead of before they go to sleep. There are more details but it's been a while so I don't remember it all, but it worked for us very well and helped her get on a good schedule for eating and sleeping.

I had the same problem with my last child and found that nursing and sleeping with me was a security issue and that is why it helped her sleep. She associated me and nursing with sleep. So instead of just taking away the comfort I replaced it. What helped her was I introduced her to a "lovey" to her it was a bear. I slept with it with her and then it became something that gave her security. It is not something that i wanted her to have to have so I just would give it to her when she was falling asleep and then would scoot it away from her once asleep. If she woke and wanted it then she would find it. I would help sooth her when she woke instead of just nursing her. I found that only after a couple of nights she was able to sooth herself more and wanting to nurse less.Then I just quit nursing and after a couple of nights she understood that there would be no more nursing and was able to sleep better. This is just what worked for me. I think sometimes having them sleep with you and nursing them even though you want to stop now is also what we need not just them. When you decide this is what you want to do and are willing to have a week or so of a little less sleep and having to teach her to comfort himself you will figure out what works for you. No matter what do it when your ready. If you do it one night and not the next it will be harder for him to understand and make the change. Best of luck.