Breastfeeding 2... - Clearwater,FL

I'm going to vehemently disagree with the previous poster. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a "pacifier" if you're both ok with it. It's not abnormal. Nutrition and comfort can be separate aspects of nursing. I think they're BOTH important. Toddlers obviously have a high need to suck. That's why you see 3 and sometimes 4 year olds running around with pacifiers not wanting to give them up. Nobody says their parents are "crossing a line."

When colostrum starts to come in, supposedly it's salty, so some toddlers don't care for it. So he may decide not to nurse anymore on his own. However, if your first still wants to nurse when the baby comes, there's nothing wrong with that. It's called tandem nursing. I've heard that tandem nursing decreases sibling jealousy. I don't have any personal experience with it though. I continued to nurse my daughter several months while pregnant with my son. But, I gently weaned her because I knew tandem nursing was not for me. She was 25 months when she was weaned.

www.kellymom.com has a forum for tandem nursers so you will find lots of support.

I also looked up this article on there for you:

http://www.kellymom.com/nursingtwo/faq/index.html

There's a link at the end for dealing with criticism. ;)

Good luck! And congrats on your pregnancy!

Whoa, ok, the other poster does not sound supportive of extended nursing at all. You have absolutely crossed no lines. Many children do this and he still may be getting something.... Natural nursing extracts much more efficiently than if you pumped or simply squeezed, so he may be getting a little or if not, is still getting the HUGE emotional and security comfort he hasgrown to trust. You really need to join the online portion and/or attend a LLL meeting in your area and join a good online support group for nursing children past age 1... I am on the group called Extended_Nursing on Yahoo. There you will find lots of suppportive advice from those that have experienced your situation. You can read the archives for past answers and ask anything.

I would continue to to what you are doing and go with the flow. There is no need to wean. If your older one wants to nurse when the baby is born, no problem. You can tandem nurse without issue. I would recommend the LLL book on Tandem Nursing... It will give you lots of support and advice on making things go smoothly. Don't worry about those offering their old fashioned but well meaning advice by telling you that you 'shouldn't to it' or 'there won't be enough for 2' or 'the older child will be taking the younger ones milk' or anything else geared to make you stop. There is more to it than you being a 'pacifier', you are a warm body of love and comfort, unlike inanimate 'security' items like bears, blankies and fake plastic nipples. You are doing a great job, have really tuned in to your child and have created a wonderful relationship that will only be emphasized when the new baby comes. Many moms told me that it was the best way that you and your older child could connect and bond after the new baby..a way to make him feel special that has no comparison!

My daughter self weaned at 2 1/2 when I was 6 mo preg. When the baby came she reverted briefly but never went back fully.... I never refused so she always felt just as special and it was her choice
to not ask for it. No battles, no broken bonds or loss of security.... Best wishes for a wonderful pregnancy and a new adventure in nursing your older child and new baby!

This is a very personal decision. Many people tandem nurse two children who are different in age. It's not uncommon to have a 2 or 3 year old who is still comfort nursing, and an infant who nurses for nutrition.

Are you sure you aren't producing anything at all anymore? You may be producing very small amounts and that is enough for your older child to get the comfort (and good antibodies) that he wants.

You have not "crossed a line" by continuing to nurse your child. He's not packing for college or anything, he's two. Extended nursing can easily go a good bit longer.

Follow your heart and listen to your son. If you need to wean him back on the number of nursing sessions, then work on that. I wouldn't cut him off cold turkey and I wouldn't reject him. Work with him.

Don't feel uncomfortable or guilty about giving your little ones the best nutrition, health and bond with their mom possible. :)

I would say that if you are no longer producing milk, but still allowing your son to suckle at your breast, or allowing "boobies" to comfort a boo boo, you are crossing a line. At what age do you plan to remove his "pacifier"?

And yes you need to wean him before the next child comes along.

I agree 100% with the last poster- your best resource is the La Leche League. They have some great books and the support group is fantastic. I was willing to tandem nurse my son after my daughter's birth, but he self weaned as soon as my colostrum came in, which I read is a very common occurance. Follow your child's lead and what works for your lifestyle!
good luck and congratulations!
K.

hi L.,
congratulations on no. 2, it is a bit challenging at first but is really wonderful to have two. i was prepared to nurse my first as long as he wanted but he ended up weaning himself at 18 months when i was still pregnant. you absolutely can nurse both. i would recommend that you check out the site kellymom.com. there is a ton of great info on tandem nursing and everything else breastfeeding-related.

you can definitely expect some jealousy when your second comes along but it's different with all children. just be attentive to him when you can, try to have some "special" time everyday together, even just a story or at bed or naptime. it took my son about two months to get back (mostly) into his old behavior. he regressed when our daughter was born, a lot of whining and crying, needing attention. it's challenging but it passes. good luck!

Hi, L. - My first two children are 2 years apart and during the second pregnancy my first self-weaned. However, once his sister was born he asked to nurse again and I allowed it. So I tandem nursed for a couple of years. Baby always got first dibs, but my oldest still nursed to sleep or for comfort or whatever. I always had enought milk for both (supply & demand, you know). It was exhausting at times but it worked for us. Trust your instincts, you'll know what's right for your family. :)

http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/helpme_tips_twins4.html
http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/helpme_tips_twins3.html
that site is great also i would think that it would cause jealousy

You might be surprised that your 2 year old is probably still getting some milk. IT may not be the intense production you once had but he is still enjoying a sip. Tandem nursing is a fine and doable thing. Just make sure the newborn gets the milk first. You may find as your pregnancy goes on that you become sore and no longer nurse. But many people do tandem nurse. Best wishes with your newest little one!

i dont see any reason why not sure you could do that as long as you produce enough milk.C.

I got pregnant when my first was 9 months old and a nursing champ. I thought he would never stop and I did not want him to any time soon. It was uncomfortable for me during the pregnancy b/c of nipple sensitivity(and his teeth!), but I loved the emotional bonding aspect. I read about tandem nursing on kellymom.com and got a book to prepare myself. Unfortunately, early in my third trimester I started getting contractions when he nursed. I knew they may just be braxton hicks, but decided we needed to cut him off just in case. It was difficult and my husband had to put him to sleep for a couple of months. When I got closer to my due date, I offered my breast to him again and he would suck for a second, but had lost interest for the most part. He only tasted once after his brother was born, so I never got to experience tandem nursing like I had expected. You never know how your child will react to the change in taste either. Good luck to you.
~B.

I don't have personal experience with this because my children were all weaned before I had the next. But my MIL was still nursing her first son when she was pregnant with her second. She said late in her pregnancy, her older son simply didn't want it anymore because the milk for a newborn is so different then the thick milk older children get.