Breastfeeding - Enid,OK

When my baby was 3 weeks old, my milk supply diminished greatly. I was just about to give up breastfeeding. I gave my baby one bottle of formula (after hours of crying from both my baby & me!). I was at my wits end, and was ready to quit. My husband wouldn't let me quit. He knew the benefits were much greater for our baby than with formula. He had me call the lactation consultant at the hospital, and finally he drove me and my baby to the hospital to get help from the LC. She was great help! I was in there maybe about an hour, while she showed me how to latch my baby on correctly, how to massage the ducts (my milk ducts were plugged and very full by that time). She was a life saver! When i got home, I pumped my breasts and gave my baby a bottle of breast milk. For several weeks I pumped my milk and gave her a bottle of it. I also drank plenty of water and Mother's Milk tea, and ate lots of oatmeal to get my milk supply back up. After a few weeks, I felt comfortable enough to put my baby back on my breast. Things were much easier by then. I'm still nursing her, today, at 13 months old. I plan to let her self-wean. I've decided breast milk was best for my baby (it broke my heart formula-feeding her that one time). I hope you don't give up just yet. It is hard, but with the right help and support, you really can get past this stage, and things will get better for you. Good luck!

A.,
Having breastfed five children and knowing how much they benefited, try to keep breastfeeding for your baby. Your baby will be stronger and you will get your shape back quicker. It's why we were designed with breasts, for no other reason but to nourish our children :)
Take heart, it will get better and you won't regret your decision.
Your husband must know a few things about the benefits of breastfeeding.
Rebecca

First of all, your husband will most likely understand. In my experience, quitting breastfeeding, no matter when you wean, seems to be harder on the woman than the man. :)

Also, I would encourage you that if you are at all interested in keeping it going if it were only easier, then I would second the opinion of talking to a lactation consultant. They can make a huge difference! And if you get the latch correct and everything else going correctly, it does get a whole lot easier.

You have to do what is best for you. Ultimately, if you are uncomfortable and unhappy, that affects the well being of your child.

That being said, I found that the first few weeks of breastfeeding were definitely the hardest. After about 6 weeks, everything began to go well. Until that point, I cried almost every day from the pain and frustration. My son weaned when he was 14 months old and had a well balanced diet of baby food. Whatever you decide, hang in there!

i had the same issues with my hubby... i just finally came out and told him that it hurts really bad and my body was taking to big of a tole for me to keep doing it. i love my kids but all of them needed to much milk and i was not producing enough for them and i had enough. you will feel alot better once you come out and tell him and you do know that you can always go to the health department and get a breastpump for up to a year. if you still want your baby to have your milk you just dont want the baby attached to you all the time. i know ppl say that breastfeeding is the best and that it is easier to feed them but pumping is another good way for your baby to still get breastmilk and for you to be a lil more comfertable. my 4 month old still gets breastmilk before bed but he has formula during the day. but he also eats almost every 2 to 2 1/2 hours too. he eats like his dad. hope my comments help you. good luck!

That was one of the most difficult decisions I made. My goal was to breastfeed for 6 months. I made it, but mostly pumping. I read obsessively on kellymom trying to figure out why my son didn't enjoy it (began reflux meds at 2 wks) half the time he cried and that affected the bonding experience. I began pumping and we introduced a bottle of breastmilk at 4 wks. My husband fed him and it was so relaxing for the both of them. I was resentful because my experience was not even close to his plus I was a walking zombie because I did ALL of the nighttime feedings. Our son was so comfortable with the bottle and I didn't want him to have to cry in order to eat so we went to bottled breastmilk (except nighttime feedings). He was supportive but never pressured me. I felt that if anyone said ANYTHING that was against breastfeeding that they didn't have my son's best interests at heart. The pumping was hard because it was 5-6 times a day, even the 4 days a week I was home with him. I sacrificed my relationship with my husband and my resentfulness grew. I have insomnia issues now because of getting my sleep in 1-2 hr increments for 6 mos. If I get up to go to the bathroom, I can't go back to sleep unless I have a PM med in my system (never took before). Plus I attended breastfeeding meetings and they had an "all or nothing" attitude that filled me with guilt that I put as a priority over my marriage. Things are so much different now, with counceling, plus our son started sleeping through the night at 6 mos and now he is 8 mos. I will say, that with our next baby, I will have a sense of balance. I will be okay with supplementing and so what if my supply goes down a little because I get 4-6 straight hours of sleep during the first 6 wks. My husband and I will have a sense of balance and teamwork next time. He will get to do one nighttime feeding a night and our relationship will be much better. What is wrong with 80% breastmilk? I can't find anything. I will also say that my memory of the first 3 months are of misery and frustration, and it didn't have to be that way. Find your balance and enjoy this experience. It is precious. Oh, one more thing, putting lanolin on after EVERY feeding helps a lot. kellymom.com is also a great source.

Like someone else said, the first 2-3 weeks are the worst but it *does* get easier & won't always hurt. I promise nursing at 5-6 weeks and older is totally different than those first few weeks. If it's still quite painful then maybe the latch is wrong & a lactation consultant would really be helpful.

If you've only been breastfeeding for 3 weeks, you haven't even really experienced breastfeeding yet. The first few weeks are the hardest, but if you can make it through, you can have an enjoyable experience that you will remember for a lifetime. My children are now 22 and 11, and they both nursed for a long time. I'm happy that I stuck it out and have great memories. A lactation consultant might be helpful, like the others suggested.

A.

I would talk to a lactation consultant. There should be one at your hospital or the L&D people should be able to give you a name of one. Breastfeeding despite what people say does hurt in the begining. A lactation consultant may be able to help you if there is a latch problem. It also takes some babies a little longer to get the hang of things. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water too. Then after another few weeks and a few visits with a consultant, if things aren't working out you can stop. Your husband should be able to tell that it's taking a toll on you and that you've tried everything to make it better. He can't be upset if you've tried all your options to make it work.

It is wonderful for him to have been supportive. Supportive is not the same as demanding though and I hope he hasn't made you feel as you had no alternative but to feed the baby by nursing. When my OB/GYN and I were talking about nursing vs. bottle babies, he showed me a picture of his wife and three very healthy athletic boys. He told me that none of his three sons had ever tasted breast milk and they were all big, healthy boys. Go buy the formula and start him on it. As long as the baby is healthy and being fed, that's what is important. The mom must also by strong and healthy and a loving husband should want that just as much. Tell him the truth, that you are feeling it's too much physically for you. We all have our limits. Don't feel bad about this decision. It's one of MANY that you will need to make about your own well-being.

Well, I don't have any ideas about how to tell your husband, but I can tell you that I felt the same way a few weeks into breastfeeding. I ended up sticking it out a little longer and it really got much better as I went along. I ended up doing it for 4-5 months and it got easier as we went along. So, if you decide to keep going, know it gets better!

I can totally relate to the frustration! My Mom and sister were like Niagra Falls when it came to breast feeding. I barely eeked out enough for my babies. If you need help with things to try to make it better, this is the place to ask. I can only assume that you are past that and ready to stop because of your question. I say to be completely open with your husband and tell him of your frustrations. Try to involve him in your decision, but if after hearing all of your concerns, he doesn't agree with your decision, you have to take care of you. Please speak to your doctor if you are feeling duress or possibly some signs of depression. Hang in there-- It does get better. Anyone who has had children will tell you that the first couple of months are a really difficult time for the parents (especially mommy). Once you can get about 5 consecutive hours of sleep, things really look up. FYI - every baby is different. I've had friends that didn't last two weeks nursing the first child, but went months with the second. Do what makes you the best mommy you can be and don't let anyone guilt you.

My daughter will be 7 months tomorrow. I too wanted to breastfeed her however when I reached the three week point I was so sore and she was CONSTANTLY eating that I wanted to quit to. I was sure I was doing something wrong. Thank goodness I was able to call a lactation consultant from the hospital and she actually came to my house and her encouragement and support was so helpful. I kept breastfeeding and still do. As a matter of fact my daughter is letting me know right now that shes hungry...by the way, the soreness goes away and it really becomes a pleasure to have that quite time with her. Hope this helps. Good luck and take care.

A.,
I know how tired and run down you must feel. Newborns are intense and demanding and breastfeeding is a tough job...especially in the beginning. I agree with many of the other responses. Breastfeeding is not the only way to take care of your baby, and you will not fail as a mother if you decide not to breastfeed any longer. There are so many other ways you can love and care for your child. Breastfeeding is not the only way. And as others said, if you are at all interested in continuing to breastfeed, just know that the first month or so is the absolute most difficult. It gets much easier after that, after baby gets settled down a little bit. And, you can always breastfeed and supplement with formula. So if you want to breastfeed in the morning and a couple of times through the day and at night (or anything you think is good for you and baby), you can do that. If you are producing enough milk right now, it probably won't prevent you from continuing to produce. If you want to stop breastfeeding, you are probably going to want to cut back slowly anyways, so that your breasts don't engorge or you don't get a clogged duct (cut out one breastfeeding every other day or so and replace with a bottle). Doing this will keep you out of pain and also allow your hormones to adjust more slowly.
Hang in there. Whatever you decide, you and your baby will be fine. Don't let anybody make you feel guilty for your decisions. You've got a lot going on right now and it's hard! You'll do great.

I just started nursing our 2nd child, and I will say that the 4th week was so much easier than the first 3. The soreness went away, the baby nursed better and slept longer. One of the biggest benefits I've found is the sleep hormones you release after a feeding...it allows me to go right back to sleep at night instead of tossing and turning after giving a bottle. It sounds like you've already made up your mind, so just go with your heart, but if you might like to try another week or two, things might get a whole lot better. Without knowing your husband, it's hard to guess what might work the best, but you'll probably feel a lot better once you talk to him about your concerns.

I'll second Amber from above; when you're done, you're done, and it's okay. When I stopped breastfeeding my son, I had very similar worries about telling my husband, and it was really no big deal. I think I mistook my husband's support of ME for a preference that I breastfeed. Once I told him, I realized that he trusted me to make the best decision for myself and our son.

Also, don't let the "bottle-feeding = failure" rhetoric get to you; meeting your needs is just as important as meeting your kiddo's, and breastfeeding is NOT the only way to meet your kid's needs. The biggest thing you baby needs is YOU and your husband -- taken-care-of, fulfilled, & healthy parents -- not your breasts. You know, "secure your own mask before assisting others".

Good luck!

YES If you stress your milk will slow the baby will sense the tension Feeding with a bottle and calm is better than the breast and stress!

Give it just a little more time. I think it will get easier for you as the baby matures and is able to suckle better. The breasts become less tender and everything will seem so much more natural in a few weeks. I breast fed all three of my kids until they were about 14 months old, and it was one of the most satisfying experiences I remember from when they were little. However, my youngest was not as easy as the two older kids, and I remember thinking that if she had been my first baby I would have given up after the first couple of weeks. I got really engorged and then got a breast infection because she had such a small mouth that she was not able to latch on well. This caused extreme, excrutiating pain and I was miserable. I had to pump my breasts because she could not drain them for me and it was a mess. I remembered how satisfying and pleasurable nursing my boys had been, and I stuck with it...and eventually she grew large enough to latch on better and was able to drain the breasts completely. Then it was smooth sailing, and I ended up nursing her until she was 18 months. I knew she was going to be my last baby and I did not want to lose the close bond that nursing provides. So, stick with it a little longer. Give it six weeks, which is the minimum recommended time to nurse for best health benefits to the baby anyway. If at the end of six weeks you are still not feeling comfortable, then you should sit down with your husband and explain your feelings and I am sure he will understand that you have tried to do this, but it is not working for you. You will be glad you did, if you can stick with it past six weeks, you both will grow to love your time nursing. Good luck. D

I think you should give it three more weeks. It does get easier. If you can make it thru the first six weeks then it is all down hill after that. If after that time you still don't want to continue just tell him flat out. It is your body after all. However formula is very expensive and breast milk will be giving an immune system in what looks to be an intense flu season. Good luck.

I would just sit down with him and explain to him how hard it is on you & that you think you want to stop. Guys have no idea what it's like to breastfeed a baby, so just explain everything to him! I lasted about 6 weeks with my daughter. It started out going well, but then it started hurting every time she latched on & she wouldn't stay latched! I was trying to finish the last half of my last semester of college & needing to go back to work, so it was a lot of stress on me. So, I quit after that 6 weeks. I wish I had had the time & patience to see a lactation consultant that could have helped me solve the breastfeeding issues.

If you haven't already, you might want to speak to a lactation consultant to see if they can help your breastfeed go better for you. But I completely understand how hard it is!!

I have a 3 month old son and a 6 yr old son. I breastfed my first son for 3 months, then I was done. My husband was deployed and I was tired and my body just gave out on me. This time around my husband is again deployed and I am actually doing a lot better this time. It isn't for everyone. Just remember that. My mom was unable to breastfeed me and my brother.
Yes it is cheaper and everyone says it is so much better for your baby, but in the end if you are suffering and you can't function, then it isn't what is best for your baby and for you. Your child needs for you to be healthy for him to be healthy. I would say try it for a few more weeks, as right now, he is still new to the world and isn't quite great at latching on yet. Maybe talk to a La Leche member to ask questions about how to make it better for you and your baby. If then you still can't do it, then stop and talk to your husband about it. I don't think you will let him down, but make sure you are COMPLETELY honest about it all. If you say you just don't want to do it, he may not understand, but I don't think disappointment is something he would feel.