Breaking Bedtime Habits

Updated on August 26, 2008
E.S. asks from Corry, PA
12 answers

My son is 17 months, he has not had a bink for over 8 months and I do not want to bring it back, he also does not take a bottle anymore, so at bedtime he has a soft top sippy cup, he uses this as a type of bink and has chewed through several of them so they are no longer spill proof. He also has learned to take the tops off and spill his milk or juice all over the place. Please if anyone has any suggestions as to an alternative to the bink and cup or just some tips to break the bedtime milk habit. We have tried to give him the hard top sippies but he screams uncontrollably for a long time and I give in and give him the soft top. Please help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your helpful tips...My son is not completely done with the cup but he only gets water in it at bedtime and we are now playing music for him when he goes to sleep and it seeps to help a little. It is still very difficult and very hard for everyone to continue to do the same thing.
Thanks again

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T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi
First, relax. My oldest just rid herself of her nighttime binky and did it on her own terms. It was painless. I had cut the end off of it awhile back (it had chew marks) so it wasn't like she was getting any great thrill from it. I kept it clean. My son uses one on and off. The dentist told me to lighten up about it. They go to bed with water cups--as I go to bed with a glass of water by the bed. The key is water only. The question is why are you so worried about this? They won't take it to kindergarten, I promise.

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D.T.

answers from Erie on

E., Years ago, Mom told us how she broke my brother and sister of their bottles. I know it's not the same, but it may help.

Brother used glass bottles (kinda hints at his age, doesn't it??) and he had a habit of grabbing the nipple and dragging it along the crib when it was empty then THROWING it across the room. Mom gave him the last one and TOLD him it was the last. NO MORE. When he thru that one, she just shrugged and said, oh well. He never asked for it again.

Sister simply got too old for it. Mom put her down for her nap and she asked for her bot. Mom made up this story about a momma dog came around and needed it for her puppies. Sister said Puppies? Yes, puppies. She rolled over and went to sleep. That night, she asked for her bot. Mom said, the puppies have it. Puppies? yes, puppies. She asked one more time and that was it. She never asked again.

The key is being insistent and not giving in. Shut the door. Let him cry. (It won't do him any permanent harm.) Check on him every five minutes or so. Let him know that you are still there. But DON'T give him the cup. Make sure he has a drink before bed and leaves the cup in the sink. Not to be touched again. Then off to bed.

There may be crying for a while, a few days maybe even. Eventually, he will realize that you will not be giving it back to him and he will go to sleep.

It won't be easy. But the question is, when you finally put him to bed and he curls up with his teddy bear (that is a must for every little one, ya know) and goes right off to sleep, will it be worth it all? I think you will say yes, it was worth it all.

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A.

answers from Philadelphia on

Have you tried the 'nuby' flip top straw cup? The straw is soft but the cup is spill proof and the straw folds down into the cup for easy transport too. Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Washington DC on

You must be firm with him on this issue. Make up your mind to not give into him, even if he screams. He screams because he knows he can break you down and get what he wants. It is a battle of the wills. Tell him that the sippy cups will only be used for drinking during the day before he brushes his teeth at night. At bedtime, try replacing the sippy cup with a more suitable comfort object like a stuffed animal or a favorite toy or blanket. If he doesn't have a favorite object, maybe you could take him to the store and let him pick out something . Tell him that whatever he chooses will be something special for him to have at night to help him get to sleep. The first couple of nights will probably be rough, but if you stand firm, I'm sure he will get used to it quicker than you might think. Best of luck!

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Bedtime habits are hard to break-I have 3 boys that all went through bottle withdrawal. We started putting water instead of milk in their bottles/cups at bedtime. They didn't like it at first, screamed/cried, but got used to it. Then we started decreasing the amount of water til it got to the point where there was so little they would just throw the cup down and go to sleep. However-my firstborn would not get rid of his bottle even with water, so finally when he turned 2, we went to the doctor for his checkup and I had the doctor tell him that he is a big boy now and can't drink from a bottle anymore-it's for babies, and he went to bed that night with nothing-we kept telling him he was a big boy now, we had to put his bottles away. They were all gone. And he was broke from the bedtime drink habit. Good luck! Don't give in.

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T.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, I recommend getting rid of any kind of ritual that involves juice or milk. My nephew went to bed with juice/milk and by the time he was five had two huge cavities on his front two teeth. He had to deal with the embarrassment of that for awhile before they finally fell out. The dentist told her they could fill them but he had to wait for his adult teeth to come in before anything cosmetic could be done. The dentist told her that it happened b/c she gave him something to drink for bedtime. Once the teeth are brushed before bed nothing else but water should be given.

I have a suggestion for a bedtime routine. Maybe you do this already but it worked wonders for my son. We started by cleaning up his toys for the day. We usually sang a song while we did it. We followed by getting a nice relaxing bath. After that we brushed the teeth, etc. Last but not least, we read a book or two. It's best to set some type of limit otherwise you will hear "one more story" a thousand times. Another thing that helped my son was soft music playing while he slept. It helped him get to sleep for the longest time. Another thing you may want to limit, I learned the hard way that you may have to go into the room several times to flip the tape or start the CD over (depending on what type of equipment you have in your child's room). I hope some of this helps.

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

Let him scream, it will take a little while, but if you are firm, he will stop.

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

First I would start with offering him his drink of milk or juice about 15 minutes before bedtime routine starts so he can brush his teeth after having this sweet drink. After brushing, he should not have anything but water. Both of my toddlers do get thursty at night and take a sippy with water to bed. But it won't leave sugar on their teeth to create cavities and problems. Maybe take him to the cup isle and let him find a hard type sippy cup as his special one to keep in his bed. Then tell him the lid has to stay on. I found that they really do understand much of what you say and can follow directions if they realize that you expect them to do so. If the lid comes off, he is done with it for the night.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, I"m not sure if you have any other children or if you have taken them to a dentist or not, but my son is 3 and he loves his bedtime milk, which really is fine, but when I took him to the dentist they showed me pictures of childrens teeth from drinking milk at bedtime and they were all rotted. The dentist said that the WORST thing to give your child before bed is milk because it sits in their teeth ALL night, which rots them out. So what I do is I let my son have his milk then I brush his teeth and if he asks me for me I tell him that once he already brushed his teeth that means he is finished with milk for the night.

As far as the bink that just went cold turkey for my 3 year old, I just took it one day and told him we lost it and he never asked for it again. My 20 month old still uses his. That's ok, I'll take it when the time is right. It's hard though, so don't get stressed and hang in there, they aren't little forever and eventually they will be fine.

Good Luck

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Instead of juice or milk will he go for water? We had a really hard time breaking my son of his "binky". He started saying "shut up" to us when he would get frustrated. When he would not stop, we started punishing him. He would lose clifford for the night. Finally we had a enough and we took his binky away. It took about two weeks for him to stop asking for it. I believe we did this when he was almost 2. Our current problem, not really is he is still in our bed. My son is very intellient (I know everyone thinks they have the next genius)so he has informed us that he will sleep in his big boy bed when he is big. We aren't concerned at this point because we still like him in our bed, but I'm sure this summer we will try and get him into his own.
My main point, is do what feels right. If he isn't ready to give up bink, then buy more lids. He will grow out of it.
Jen

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C.K.

answers from Washington DC on

My brother had twins around the same age who did exactly that. When he moved back in with my mom he simply took them away. Yes they did scream alot but after awhile they got used to it. Now he will give them a sip of water and that is it. Grant you the first few days were not to good but like I said they got used to the idea of not having sippy cups at bedtime. Good Luck!!

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E.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I still have the problem of my 17 month old taking a paci and a cup to bed. A few things that I have thought of trying from advice from others are:

-Putting water in his cup at night. Not only could this make him not want his cup anymore since he does not get milk, but also milk and juice at night are bad for his teeth.

- A girlfriend of mine said she had a specific spot the cup and paci were always at and her som would go right for them before bed. One night she just showed hi, the basket, and said "all gone", and he went to bed. Sounds way too easy to be true though huh? I don't think I would ever have luck like that.

- My oldest son I took his soft spout sippy and paci away around the same time. I jsut made him quit cold turkey. It was a rough couple of weeks, but we made it thru it, without any harm done. Now with a younger child, I am such a push over so I understand how it is hard.

Good luck!

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