Breakfast Battles

It's only a battle if you make it one. She's done after two bites? No problem. She will likely make up for it at either her mid morning snack or lunch. None of my kids were big breakfast eaters, they still aren't. And they're all very healthy, robust teenagers now :)

It's only a battle if 2 people are fighting. So... don't fight / pick your battles.

Meaning... if she eats 2 bites... fine. DON'T fall into the trap of lavishing attention on her chasing her around for hours trying to get her to eat, or lavishing attention on her getting into a some drawn out battle over yes/no, OPEN, chew, swallow, etc. (AKA both are mondo attention giving behaviors... one positive... one negative.)

Just go with it, and go about your day. Maybe she'll eat. Maybe she won't. But what she WON'T do is hijack your morning 'training' you to spend an hour lavishing attention (positive or negative) over something that doesn't warrant it.

Lavish attention ELSEWHERE. Playing. Reading. Helping. Anything you WANT to be training HER in.

Which is a key point; We really don't want toddlers ruling the world. Have her copy YOU instead of you copying HER.

So my advice is to drop it. She eats or she doesn't. She won't die. And then, later, she'll eat / sit with manners/ etc. once you throw the breaks on this particular 'game'.

Ahem. Which is really the key point. Toddlers are figuring out social interaction. Just like babies smiling to get smiles, or dropping something to a) see if it falls, and b) see how many times you'll pick it back up... A LOT of toddler "battles" are toddlers figuring out the more complex details of social interaction and cause and effect. Which you WANT, but it's just really easy to teach them the "toddler" way, instead of the "human" way. Making someone chase you around trying to feed you (or "fighting" about whether or not you'll eat)... is a very toddler concept.

Toddlers aren't being INTENTIONALLY manipulative. They don't have agendas. They just have 'wants'. And they try out 1001 different things to get those wants fulfilled. When something 'works' they keep doing it. So throw the breaks on. And you'll be fine.

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Babies have needs
Kids have wants
Adults have agendas

It only flows downhill. Kids have needs and wants. Adults have needs, wants, and agendas.

EX) A kid might try and make you late for work because they WANT you to stay home and play. An adult will try NOT to make you late for work so that you don't lose your job. Wanting you to stay home and play is different from the agenda of trying to make you lose your job.

Right now your toddler WANTS xyz. Whether that's your attention, or to be spoon fed, or this great 'game', or to NOT eat, or to NOT sit, etc.... they WANT it. Which is having a lot of fall out that they can't see the 3 steps on down the line. So hijakc her, instead of her hijacking you. Change the rules of the game. If she's cranky... stick a chocolate milk cup in her hand later. Work around the problem, until you can address it and have it not be a battle.

honestly it will pass, it passed for us when I the person she is with most, wouldnt give in to her fits anymore about not wanting to eat. you dont want to fine, wait till next meal time. after a few days to a week she ate when it was meal time

She is two you are the adult. If two bites are enough for breakfast, fine - but no food until snack (or lunch depending on your schedule). There you go, problem solved without a battle. She may whine for food after an hour or so or be crabby until snack... but she will catch on fast if you are consistent.
Good luck.

Remove distractions from the eating area.. no tv, no toys laying around to tempt her to get up.

Just let her get up... tell her that if she does get up without finishing her breakfast, she will not have anything else to eat until the next meal. No pleading, bribing, or begging to sit down and finish eating.

Do not give her milk or juice between meals... that will fill her up...just give her water.

Stick to this, and after a few meals, she will realize that mealtime IS mealtime, and she will eat.

Are you a SAHM, or do you need to be somewhere? If you are at SAHM (and/or you do not need to be somewhere in the morning), I wouldn't worry about it. She'll eat when she's hungry.

When I was a SAHM, I gave my kids healthy choices and didn't really worry about when they ate.

Now that they are in school and we have a schedule to keep, different story. Because things tend to be too busy, I give them Carnation Breakfast Essentials. I make one packet for each of them and let them drink it while they sit on the couch and "wake up." It has made a huge difference to us, because they do get a healthy breakfast but we do not waste 20 to 30 minutes trying to get them to eat breakfast, which they really need to do.

The first time I gave it to them I told them it was "Special Chocolate Milk" because I really needed them to drink it. Three years later the name has still stuck!

Don't worry about it when she is hungry she will eat. I never ate breakfast, I love all breakfast food but not in the morning. I still don't eat breakfast. I will tell you my mom would tell me to eat breakfast and that she was worried that I didn't up until the day she died. I am not kidding you. I am not overweight nor underweight, yet if anything when I was a kid/teenager I was a chubby one. Your last sentence is correct. This "two" shall pass.

Watch how Dad and Grandma handle breakfast. Even little things like "spoon or fork?" might be a big deal to a 2 yr old. What do you serve vs what do they serve? And how? My DD used to get upset when DH gave her a banana. He didn't understand what the deal was. But I clued him in that she wanted a plate, a fork and a knife - because I'd been letting her practice cutting with a kiddie knife on bananas. OH, says DH. Once he gave her all those things, the battle stopped. If she gets up, does she get a snack soon after? How are snacks? Are they on the go? Maybe try reminding her that she has to wait a looong time for a snack if she gets up now and doesn't eat. And then no snacks til a reasonable amount of time has passed. While I don't do the "you'll eat your dinner for breakfast" thing, if DD has dry cereal she hasn't eaten I'll tell her she can have that but she can't have more raisins or whatever she scaled the pantry for. End of discussion.

My DD and I are not first thing eaters. I snuggle with her when I have time and when I get my coffee, she gets her juice or water or milk and then we talk about if she's hungry and wants mixed up cereal (something like cheerios sprinkled with froot loops) or if she wants toast, etc. Usually one of three options. It can honestly take her 30-40 minutes to want food. Now that she has to be out the door for school, she has a finite timeframe. I set a timer for a reasonable duration and remind her there is no snack til 10:30.

All the suggestions about letting her stop, but not providing snacks until "snack time" are good.

I would also bear in mind that not all children are ready to eat first thing in the morning. Some need to do a little more waking up than others. You didn't say how long she is awake and up before breakfast, so maybe she just needs a little longer to "wake up" fully before eating?

" I ask her what she wants, let her help me make it,"

This is too much of a question for a young child. either just place what you want her to eat in front of her. Or give her 2 options you are willing to have her eat .

Yes, if she eats 2 bites and a glass of milk and , be happy , but nothing for at least 3 hours afterwards.. and then make it a small healthy snack or plans for her lunch..

Our daughter has NEVER been a breakfast eater. Still is not. She will eat a piece of fruit at 9:00, but would rather wait until 12:00 and just have lunch.

During the school year, I would sometimes, just give her some leftovers.. or a small freshly made smoothy, but it took all of her effort to eat these.

Also remember breakfast can be anything.. it does not have to be traditional breakfast foods. I used to like soup for breakfast.. a simple baked potato, a simple sandwich..

She is her own person, she knows when she is hungry, just follow her lead when possible.

If she's not eating it, then don't make it. I don't know about you, but I don't have money to spend on food just to throw it away.

If she insists that she wants it, then she must eat it. I don't force kids to finish a meal I plan and put on their plate, but if they ask for something and I make it, then they must eat it. If they don't eat it now, they WILL eat it later.

My GD did that to me yesterday. We were in the car and she was literally whining about being hungry. I got her some fast food and of course, three bites in, she said she was done. When we got home, I sat her at the table and she ate EVERY BITE. She asked me several times "Grandma, is this good enough?" And each time I asked her "what did I tell you?" And she would eat more. Finally, she got to where she said "Grandma, this isn't good enough is it?" And I said "what do you think?" No verbal response; another bite taken. She did finish the whole thing.

Don't make anything fresh for her to eat instead offer fresh fruit that you can peel,cut up,dice maybe add a few tablespoons of yougurt to dip with followed with a dash of granola,rasins,cheerios,dried fruit etc the list can go on and on.When she gets up perhaps she has to poop and is becoming distracted while eating.It could be she isn't hungry,she is getting your attention,or dislikes what she is eating yes kids do that they love something and BAM they refuse to eat it till later on typically after a few weeks mine went through apples not to long ago but she is 3 and it was abnormal for her not to eat them said she didn't like them but not abnormal for her to decide wether or not she likes them anymore just like us parents we get tired of eating the same things so we switch our tatebuds to something different kids are the same way.Be firm give her a choice if your able to with what is for breakfast let her help you make it by getting a bowl, spoon, or an egg LOL just kidding her lending a hand will be good for both of you it gets her prepped up to eat what she helped make.Be firm when she wants to get up I don't believe in forcing a child to eat when they clearly aren't hungry but letting her know this is what we have to eat please take some bites before getting up then you can decide that your full.One thing that really gets me is creating a plate that too large for a child and expecting them to clear it,so making a plate for a child should only be the size of their fist then add more if they ask for it.But from you question it could be just a stage or many other things you didn't specify what she is doing when she becomes squirmmy and gets
up

Its a phase.
No sense battling over it.
If she eats 2 bites, fine.
Then put away the food.
And off on her merry ways she goes.
It can be a big deal or not.

There are 4 basic types of eaters:

1) those that eat according to their body's cues. ie: full or hungry. They eat when hungry, and stop when full. Regardless of "how many" bites they took. How many bites they took is irrelevant.

2) Those that are Grazers. ie: they eat, per their body's cues, and eat small amounts all day. Which is actually healthier, than eating a ton at a sitting. My Husband and son are like that. They know their body's cues and I know that about them too. No big deal.

3) Those that eat, a ton at each sitting, because they are hearty eaters or they have to. And they don't know, their body's cues for hunger/fullness necessarily.

4) Those that eat, according to emotional needs. ie: they are bored, or stressed, or sad, or have been TAUGHT, to eat in ORDER TO please, others. So they eat even if they are full or not really hungry.

A person learns, how to "eat" per how they are taught in in childhood.
Many dysfunctional eating habits or tendencies that adults may have, are sometimes from how they have been taught to cope or taught to eat as a child.
A person learns to eat per: their body's cues... or for emotional reasons.

MANY kids, in the morning, are not really hungry right away.
My kids are the same way.
Their tummy needs time to wake up.
Fine.
But, now that they are in school, they do eat something in the morning... but it is NOT the same amounts that *I* would eat. Fine. They are light eaters in the morning. I am not. Me, I need a hearty breakfast (and coffee) to start off my day or I get crabby.
Fine. That is me, that is them. We are not the same type of eaters.
I know their cues, and I know mine.
But we all "eat" fine and are healthy and don't starve etc.

Kids also need, snacks besides their 3 main meals.
They are so active and burn things off so quickly.
Even I can't go all day on just 3 meals a day.
A snack, can be just half an apple.

Keep in mind, that Toddler "serving sizes" are not the same amounts as an adult. For young kids, serving sizes are often in terms of Tablespoons.

And sure, kids are squirmy. I am too when I am busy with other things... I hate taking the time to eat. I don't have the patience for it. But so, I have to consciously, MAKE myself sit and eat, so that I am not just eating on the run.