Boys Being Delayed

Updated on October 31, 2011
A.G. asks from Dover, NH
18 answers

Does everyone here really think that boys take longer to do things than girls? I am just wondering because I have 3 boys and they all did things in line with girls their age or sooner. One was an early talker, one was an early walker. Potty training took no time at all and they all had no issues when it came to school. The speech delay that my youngest has has to do with his ears and nothing to do with him being a boy.
I am wondering how many moms and dads delay doing things like potty training because they have been told that boys will take longer than girls.I know you are not suppose to compare milestones against other kids but I always here people say that boys take longer than girls to do almost everything. So I am just wonder what other moms and dads think?
Thank you

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answers from Dallas on

I think boys have just gotten a bad rap! I have one of each and they both did different things at different times. My daughter was an early walker, but she took a while to sit up and my son was the opposite. I think boys can do everything the girls can, but don't want to waste time doing so...who wants to have a conversation when you can be hightailing it across the field to chunk rocks in the stream anyway???

I taught pre-K last year and all the boys (minus 1) were way ahead of most of the girls!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Both of my boys didn't talk until 2, because they were too busy mastering physical milestones. That isn't because I delayed them due to a stereotype in which girls typically master language first then physical second, it just was that way with them. The child regardless of sex usually masters either verbal, or physical milestones first, so the other milestone will be 'delayed'.

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answers from Seattle on

My first son didn't potty train until 3. It took 1 week. My second potty trained at 3. It took 3 days. I can't tell you how many times I read questions from people on here saying, "we have been potty training for 6 months!" and I think to myself...if only you waited. It was SO EASY when my kids were ready.
My second son walked at 8 months. My daughter is 9 1/2 months and not walking yet. My first son took a while to talk, my second son was talking pretty early. My girl is saying words already.
I don't like to say that boys take longer to do certain things. I can only go based on my boys, and so far they seem to be right up there with their girl classmates. My daughter is still pretty young, but also average.
I get a little pissy when I see people blaming behavior on whether or not they are boys or girls. My two boys behave COMPLETELY different. Night and day. It's personality, not their gender that determines their behavior.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm more in the camp that either verbal or physical milestones happen first....for example, if your child is very verbal, the physical stuff (walking, jumping, etc.) comes a little later and vice-versa.

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answers from Norfolk on

In general I think boys do take longer for some things.
But there are exceptions to every rule, and some boys will be earlier than others and some girls will be later than some boys.
You know your individual child better than anyone else.
If you look for signs of readiness for potty training - when the signs will appear is a very individual thing.

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answers from Phoenix on

My girls potty trained at 3 and 4 and my boys potty trained at 2.
My girls walked at 9 months and 16 months and my boys walked at 12 months.
My girls read fluently at ages 5 and 9 and my boys were 7 and 8.
My girls talked at ages 18 months and 2 1/2 and my boys were 2 and 2 1/2.

Hope that helps answer your question... =)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Orlando on

Nope dont believe it! My son was fully potty trained by 2 and even out of diapers at night. He started talking early and his first word was
And his memory is far better then any girl I have seen his age! I have seen girls who were almost 5 and still not close to potty trained so I think it really depends on the child not the gender

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answers from Los Angeles on

As far as abilities and milestones I've noticed the same as you, that boys do things at the same time or sometimes earlier than girls, so I've never bought into "boys take longer to do things than girls." I think that they both have the capability to do things at around the same time, but due to "perceptions" some people encourage their daughters and wait on their sons. I've seen this in family and friends.

But in adjusting to changes such as moves or schools, I've found that girls are less adaptable and have more problems adjusting, and when they hit their teens, girls are the much bigger pain, lol!!

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answers from Johnson City on

I skimmed your answers so not sure if anyone pointed this out yet. I think if they have an older sibling, they are more likely to do things early because they have the example of the older child to follow. This was true with me being the second child. I did most things earlier than my brother did them. I don't think it was because I am a girl and he is a boy. I think it was because I watched him do all those things and wanted to keep up with him.

Same rings true with my 2 children. My daughter is older than my son and he has done almost everything earlier than she did. He's just trying to keep up with "Sissy".


answers from Houston on

I honestly think girls do most things first.....i will tell people who are trying to compare their boy to my girls that ALL THE TIME....that doesn't mean i think boys are "delayed"..........merely different.

True there are exceptions, but i have been privy to many(most actually) instances where girls just so happen to do things like roll, talk and walk sooner than boys.

i thnk this is why girls are more difficult at the pre-teen level. This why i also think we marry men older than us. On average 3 to 6 years our senior. I think women, girls.....mature at a more speedy rate.

I would never call it delayed



answers from New York on

The milestones and expectations are the same for boys and girls. But most of the children that are delayed with language are boys. People like to make generalizations but they are just that. Every child is different and people like to make excuses for their kids based on these generalizations. Boys do take longer to "mature" which often means school is harder for them. I think it's important to understand your child and use milestones as guidelines but get them help when they need it. As far as potty training, I waited until my son was almost 3 to start working on it seriously once the signs of readiness were there and it was very, very easy. Quick with few accidents.



answers from Cincinnati on

I don't think boys take longer than girls. I think it depends upon the child because everyone learns at different levels. I always hear the boys taking longer than girls too.



answers from Savannah on

When I was in college, we read research on this with regards to reading. In the instance of reading, boys tend to be a little slower than girls, even when they have had the same schooling. This is not to say that every boy is slower than the girls. I think it is a maturity thing. Whether boy or girl, if the maturity level is not there, there will probably be delays. have also read in some baby magazine that apparently girls are faster when it comes to language, and boys are typically faster when it comes to physical things. Not sure what the article was based on though. As for my son, he is only 11 months, but I plan on working with him on things when I feel he will be ready for them, not necessarily on a schedule.



answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it is really silly. My son potty trained in under a week at 25 months. He has a larger vocabulary than many adults I know. He has no issues at school. I do think kids live up to or down to our expectations and that sadly for many boys, that is not a good thing.



answers from Minneapolis on

A good friend of mine is a birth-3 speech language pathologist for early intervention and she says that usually 8 out of 10 of her caseload includes boys. She won't ever say anything to parents about boys being behind girls in the language area because their is no scientific data behind that theory. She says that so many times the boys are about 1 year delayed, if at all. I've seen it both ways though, so who knows.



answers from Boston on

I really think it depends on the child. Anything you read is an AVERAGE. Clearly there will be boys and girls ahead of and behind the curve in all areas. I would never delay anything based on averages, but see how my child fairs and wait until my child is ready. My son happens to be advanced in many areas, but so far potty training isn't one of them. We aren't pressuring him, nor delaying him 'because he is a boy.' It is just the way he is.



answers from Providence on

I have two boys and they were (still are!) very different in their development. One walked early in less than a year the younger one shuffled around and crawled and didn't get to his feet for eighteen months. Both potty trained quickly and early.

My sister had a girl at the same time as my youngest so we were able to compare. She's been a nightmare to toilet train and still isn't always dry overnight.

Every child is an individual and I think we moms worry too much about development 'milestones'. The range of 'normal' is very wide in most things but we tend to get alarmed if our kids lag behind in anything, There'a a sort of unspoken competition between parents to achieve a 'first' ahead of children in amongst our family and friends. This reaches intensity with 'champions' the girls v boys stakes. I felt like advertising that we were not entering any of the common ages/stages competitions.



answers from Denver on

It seems to me that in general this may happen. I trained my son to potty train just after 3 and it was quick, but I do think that if I had tried earlier it would have been a disaster, and I have heard of a lot of girls training around 2 but not too many boys. My daughter is 15 months and is saying way more words than my son did at this age. But, I don't know.

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