My 10-year old stepdaughter gave her phone number to her 13-year old male "cousin." I put it in quotes because it's her mom's, boyfriend's nephew. She sees him maybe 2-3 times a year.
I've met the boy, he's your typical 13-year old. Into video games and running around. Other than that we don't know him.
I just found out that he's been texting her. Now, so far nothing more than "hi, how are you, what are you doing" type of texts. HOWEVER, I don't think a 13-year-old boy needs to be texting his 10-year old female "cousin" and my husband agrees. I can't think of anything they could possibly need to say.
We don't know if my SD's mom knows they have been texting and my husband doesn't want to get his ex all upset over this so he hasn't said anything.
We've told her to ignore his texts, which she has and he hasn't texted he in a while.
Are we overreacting?
Thanks moms! We won't say anything to my husband's ex and monitor the texting. She's only known this boy for a year and a half, so she's seen him maybe 4 times ever. I don't consider him family yet, but we will keep an eye on things. She's only in 5th grade and he's in 7th grade.
She's only supposed to text family and a few close friends that we approve of. Since she thought he was family, she thought it was okay to give him her phone number. By family, we meant her mom, her dad, her grandma and her stepmom. And by close friends we mean her TWO good friends (they do text a lot sometimes but it's okay with us because it's cheaper than talking on the phone!)
Maybe he is the only other person that texts her because there are not too many 10 year olds that I know of that are walking around texting each other. She probably likes that she has someone - regardless of gender that can comunicate with her via texts. I dont see it as inappropriate but I do wonder why a 10 year old has a cell phone with texting abilities
Kids text each other. If they have the ability to. They don't have to have anything they need to say. I have not given my 9 year-old daughter text capability on her phone, but once I do, I will monitor. As long as nothing inappropriate is said, I would let it go.
I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with this! The kids in our circle of friends/family all had phones btwen 10-12, & they all text each other. Boys/girls....it doesn't matter!
Texting has been a wonderful "community-builder" for all of our kids!
Your comments about the 13yo really come across as judgmental. Sounds pretty normal to me! :)
Do they view each other as family? My daughter grew up thinking of my boyfriends son as her brother. They have known each other since they were 4 yrs old. People raised an eyebrow that they would go to the movies together or go to sonic for a coke, but in thier hearts they were brother and sister and anything else would be sick, gross, wierd. We eventually got married and he is offically her brother.
If that's the case, I would monitor the situation closely and use this as an opportunity to establsih ground rules and to discuss what is and isn't acceptable. If they don't see each other as family than it's just a 13 yr old boy texting a 10 yr old girl, and that's totally inapropriate.
Maybe a tad over reacting. If the texts are simple and just touching base, fine. if they get into asking for pictures or anything else, inappropriate.
Continue to monitor it.
A teen that we have potential guardianship over has two half sisters that are quite a few years younger than him, and he texts them to keep in touch, even though they don't see each other in person all that often....he is now almost 18 and they are 13 and 14, I think....he's known them/about them for about 2-3 years now and that's how they keep in touch.
I'd keep a close eye to make sure the texts stay appropriate.
My 11 year old son does NOT have texting ability on his phone. Won't have it for at LEAST 5 more years.
I don't think a 13 year old boy should be texting a 10 year old girl. "family" or no.
It would bother me and I don't like to make assumptions, but it's like he's grooming her....like a 31 year old "man" being interested in a 17 year old girl...I realize the ages are different but at 13 - the boy is probably in puberty and she's not...I wouldn't allow it.
At 10 she doesn't need to be texting or receiving texts, unless it's "I'll be there in 10 minutes to pick you up, sit tight" but you could call to say that so, no, she doesn't need texting capabilities on her phone.
That aside, you did fine in telling her to ignore his texts, if he starts up again have your husband send a text back, "Hey, this is (daughter's name) dad, please don't text her anymore." If he continues block his number.
As long as there's nothing inappropriate being said in the texts, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
I think you are over reacting unless there has been inappropriate contact/correspondence in person or via text and/or if she is uncomfortable. Since she gave him her number, it doesn't sound like that is the case. Would you mind if it was her biological cousin?
I think 2-3 times a year is enough to establish a cousin relationship. My kids don't see some of their cousins except for that and they are free to talk to each other on the phone etc. My question is how long have they been "cousins"? Maybe he wants to have a relationship with extended family not a sexual relationship but wants to know his cousins if that is how they are referenced to each other when they are around each other. Maybe SD's mom wants her daughter to get to know her "cousins" because there is a future wedding planned and they want to establish a family???? There are a lot of what ifs. Are you overreacting? maybe, maybe not.
no, sorry, a 13 year old boy doesnt need to be texting a ten year old
CHILD. i dont care what he claims, a teenboy needs unferreted access to a ten year old child like hitler needs a get out of hell free card. it might be completely innocent, but i seriously doubt it
K. h.
My youngest daughter just got a phone and is asking all her girl friends if they can text with her. Only a handfull have phones and mostl can only use them for emergencies. Could it be that they both just like the novelty of having someone to text? The info that is exchanged in most teen texts is nothing more than extended ways of saying hello. Thanks goodness we got an unlimited texting plan! I would simply monitor her texts and if you feel something is inappropriate bring it up with both. I called an unknown texter on my daugher's phone who was asking her what she was wearing, turns out the girl was actually intending to call someone else and was very worried that an upset mom was calling her on the text. You can also call your provider and with our you can block up to ten phone numbers for free.
I think overreacting too. I would look into getting her onto a plan that doesn't allow for photo texting though!
I think you are overreacting. If you know FOR SURE that the texts are sexual, then I would step in. But if it is a harmless "hi" or "what's up?" I don't think it's something to be upset about. Plus, I can't believe that people look at the13 year old boy as someone who is "looking" for something. My son is almost 13 years old and they ARE still a child to me. Not all 13 year old boys are bad.
i think overreacting. if it's been any weird texts than i'd agree w/you more, but i agree w/someone else...it's probably just the novelty of texting & actually having someone to text. maybe i'm missing something, but i don't see the big deal. course i'm an old lady, i don't think a 10 yr old should even have a phone, but that's not what you were asking, lol. i think it's cool if they have someone to talk to. idk...sorry
