Books on Puberty

When I was about 8 or 9 mom handed me the book "Period. A Girls Guide" by JoAnn Loulan. I had very clear illustrations and explanations about puberty without bringing up sex at all. It was still another 3 years before I started my period, and I think I re-read the book a few different times over those few years and I was fully prepared by the time I started. I wouldn't necessarily bring up the sex stuff yet. Let her get more comfortable with her own changing body before she has to start thinking about that too (but maybe bring up the importance of modesty because of the boys whose bodies are changing too!)

As for dating, my parents always told me not to date anyone I wouldn't consider marrying. I had that mindset all through high school, and never even dated at all until I got to college!

"Growin' up, It's a girl thing". Is a great book for younger ones. "Growin' up it's a girl thing too" is for a bit older.
Good luck!!

Dear G.,

Happy Mother's Day! I know that having such a talk with your daughter must seem almost scarey. I have not had to do any of that yet as my children are still very young. (My oldest is 4) However as a high school teacher I see things that parents don't always get to see.

My advice have the talk a bit earlier than you would think it is needed. If you want to be the one to introduce this topic to your daughter you should do it eariler rather than later. There is a lot of misinformation out there as well and it would be nice if your daughter learned the correct information from you. I don't want to scare anyone but I have had students who are freshmen in high school show me pictures of their two year olds. So if you do the math....

Anyway, trust me. It would be better if she hears it all from you.

G.

The American Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You" and books by the speaker noted below were helpful for my daughter, who is 9. We also went to this course in San Diego:

Healthy Chats for Girls: A Heart-To-Heart Conversation for Mothers & Daughters About Puberty & Growing Up
Sunday, June 29, 2:30-5 p.m. Scripps Mende Well Being-UTC
An age appropriate, sensitive yet fun discussion with Dr. Chrystal de Freitas about puberty and growing up for mother and daughters (ages 9-11). Enrollment is limited and preregistration is required. The cost is $60/mother & daughter. The fee includes a "Growing Up" bag for the girls.

It was really helpful in answering our questions and giving information in an honest and caring way. Dr. de Freitas is starting to provide kits to parents who can't attend the meeting. She has a web site - just google her.

Girls are maturing earlier and earlier, so it was important to me to have "the talk" early. Also my mom talked to me early and I was happy to have the real story rather relying on the misinformation I heard on the playground.

Hope this helps!

Hi G.,

I have to agree to the American Girl's book, "The Care and Keeping of You." I bought that book for my daughter (who is now 13 1/2) when she was about nine years old, also, and came home from school and told me something that a friend of hers told her that was completely not true. We went through the book, I then told her to read it and to come to me with any questions. I will never give her the wrong answer. I really liked the book because it touches on pretty much every subject and doesn't judge or spend to much time on them. Plus, everything is illustration so it is not very graphic. Having the talk is not the most fun thing to do especially when dealing with "your baby". But, I'd rather my baby not have a baby for a looooonnnnggggg time!! We're all still running around trying to keep up with her three year old brother.

Good luck!

Hi G., Happy Mother's Day to you, as well (even though it's officially over, but i'm late lol). A good book is "Are You There God?, It's Me, Margaret" by Judy Blume. It tells a story of a young girl going through puberty. I loved that book as a child and must have read it about 50 times, because it was also funny in parts. You might want to check it out at the library, and read it first, but I don't think there would be anything to disapprove of in it. I also think you can just tell her, and then maybe hand her the book, or vice versa - hand her the book and see what questions she has. Regarding the birds and the bees, a good old fashioned talk is the best way, in my opinion. You can gauge her reactions to what you are saying and that way you'll know how far into it to go. You might think she is too young but she's probably not. Kids talk, and they are talking earlier and earlier these days. My son, who is 12, just asked me this weekend what "tea bagging" is. I about died!!!!! You don't want to wait until it's "too late" to have the talk with her, kids these days are ferocious! I had a conversation about this with my friend a few months ago and she told me that her son, who is now 16, got his first BJ at 7!!!!!!!!!! I wasn't even thinking about that stuff at his age, but times have changed. I'm 34, so I don't think I'm THAT old, but the truth of the matter is, kids these days need to know, because knowledge is power, and the more you have, the better off you are. Like I said, if you do choose to tell her yourself (about the b & the b's), test the waters and gauge her reaction. Best of luck to you :)

Check out the website www.advocatesforyouth.org. There is a section for parents, that helps kids and parents communicate on these types of topics. I especially like the “No Place Like Home for Sex Education” document, which is a series of short newsletters tailored to kids ages 3yrs up through high school. Go to the age/grade your child is in and you will find several newsletters specific to issues your child might be facing. Remember it’s not just “the talk”, but ongoing conversation. Don’t wait for her to ask you – take the first step yourself! Good luck!

When I was at that age, my grama gave me the BEST book: "Woman's Body: An Owners Manual." It was awesome. Of course, this was 25+ years ago. But I bet they'll have an updated version. I recommend it highly.

(My grama did this because she had no info; she thought she was dying when she started her period, and the advice her mother gave her on her wedding night was "let him do whatever he wants." She was pregnant before she knew how she got that way. She was determined that THIS would never happen in her family again!)

I did a search on Amazon -- looks like they'll sell some used ones (the cover looks different, so I'm sure it's updated <grin>) for as little as $2!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0809226189/ref=dp_...

Well I don't know about educational, but I always remember learning some basics from the Judy Bloom books. They are a series and are in all the book stores.

I don't suggest waiting for your daughter to bring things up. She is young and may not know what is appropriate to ask. I would bring it up and see how she reacts.

Best of luck.
C.

Hi G.,

There is a great book out there by "The American Girl Doll" company called "The Care and Keeping of You" (or something similar). It is a great book that is very age-appropriate with cartoon drawings, etc. It not only talks about the "change" of their bodies, but also teaches them about hygiene, getting enough sleep, exercise, healthy eating, etc.
I have had both of my daughters read it with me and it has been very helpful for them, plus it also opens the line of communication with them. My oldest is in High School and has no problem letting me know what is going on at school. (Sometimes I don't want to hear it though..scary!!) I think, unfortunately, we have to educate our children so much earlier now and they are better off for us helping them along the way. Good luck to you!!

C. C.

Hi G.,
I caught my daughter and her little friend about the age of 9 or 10, playing barbies in her room the only thing was they were naked, and when i wlaked in her room the both hide the barbies behind there backs, ( laughs alot ) so I took my daughter up to the libaray, checked out three books
1) about animals and birthing,
2) one of about the human body parts both male & female
3) where do babies come from
all very thin books simple they had real pictures in it.
we sat down read the books together, then I said ok do you have any questions ( this is after we spoke about sex in a mild way )
my daughter said I have one question mom "" Why "" and ewww
laughing, so over the years in the car as her and I was driving I would then talk more about it. The good the bads and the love that comes with it.

Today she is 17 doesn't want a boyfriend yet, she has to much to do, has her feet grounded and knows what lifes about. Keep it simple and leave your self open that she can ask you anything, any time she wants to , be honest !!

Enjoy

www.thosearemyprivateparts.com

go to amazon & search the title Those are MY Private Parts

This book is amazing and I am not just saying that because I am the author.

Peace & Blessings,
D.

Hi G.!

Happy Mother's Day! My girls are 25 and 21 and I have a 22 month old Granddaughter and a new Granddaughter to be born next month.

There are ALOT of books out there, and videos too! My best advice is look at www.amazon.com and do a search of "purberty in girls". Then read through the descriptions and find the one that seems best suited to your own daughter's personality and maturity level. There are many good ones, and we read quite a few when my girls were at that stage.

Another suggestions is, have her read the Judy Blume book, "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret". I vividly remember reading that book and how much it taught without me even realizing it. So...my girls read that book at about age 9 or 10. I would say they were in 4th grade about the time they read it.

I wouldn't worry in the least about thinking she's too young. It's NEVER too early to open the lines of communication. You can keep it light and brief, and answer any questions she has. If she has none now, just let her know that she is free to come to you ANY TIME she EVER has questions about this kind of stuff, as well as anything else! She may not need to know every detail at this point in time, but sooner or later she will!

Best wishes to you and your lovely young daughter!

LL

I'm sure someone else already suggested it, but have you tried "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" by Judy Blume. I read it in 5th grade, so I would have been 10 at the time. The book does not fully explain the birds and the bees, but it certainly can open the door for discussion between mother and daughter. After I read the book, I had a lot of questions for my mother, and she was able to answer them in an age appropriate way.
If you aren't familiar with the book, it is not a religious book. It just deals with a young girl who is hitting puberty and is not sure how to deal with the changes happening in her life and in her body. It's well written and tastefully done.

You can go to Amazon and look for books about sex and puberty, But I would make it as simple as you can and have it come from you. If she wants to know more , she will ask you.
I used a book on anatomy to explain it.
Here is what is going on in your body. Here is what you should expect.
They will find out more than enough on TV and from their peers.
Its just a part of the process of life. The one that ws hard for me was " how to deal with mean people".
Good Luck, this one will be easy !!
N.

Hi G.:
Your right, kids are growing up quicker these days,but Not that quick. lol I think shes still a little young to have the (Sex talk),but (Now adays) I do think it important,to educate young children,about strangers approaching them, or attempting to touch them. There are so many sick individuals out there, and because very young girls, tend to be such easy (prey) for some of these sickos, that it is extremely vital to teach them, how to protect themselves.They need to know, that it is wrong,for anyone to aproach them or touch them.I personally think, the sex talk,would be forgotten by the time she reaches puberty. I'd wait till she was a little more mature,and could more easily grasp it.My Grandaughter wasn't curious,or prepared for all the details,till she was in 6th going on 7th grade.I wish I could suggest a book ,for her, but i'm sure, you could inquire at a big book store.The very best to you and your darlin daughter.

When I was 10 years old, my mother got a copy of "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," by Judy Blume, for me. (I was already a big bookworm so I happily read anything she handed me.) The Margaret in the book I think was 12 years old, but anyway, there's a section in the book where one of Margaret's friends fills her in on how sex works. I immediately marched over to my mom, held up the page for her to see, and said, "Is this true?" Which opened up the subject and she could gracefully explain the mechanics of sex to me. (That was her whole point of giving me to the book.) I don't remember anything else about the book, so if you want to screen it first, check it out of the library and give it a quick read. This is a good way to get the information to your child even if she's too squeamish to ask you about it. However, there are a lot of other books out there aimed at adults that offer advice on how to explain sex or puberty to a child. Your daughter is not too young to have these talks (my son asked me point-blank about sex when he was 8. So I took a deep breath and matter-of-factly explained the process. He was a bit startled, a bit grossed out, and hasn't asked about it since! But if he does I'll have the talk with him again.) The key is to avoid letting your child sense any discomfort on your part. You want your kids to feel free to ask you questions about ANYTHING -- I keep thinking ahead to their teenage years and how I'd rather have them learn about sex, profane language, banned books, drugs, alcohol, whatever, from ME rather than from their friends or inaccurate info from the Internet. (My kids had questions about bad words, so one night aftr dinner my husband asked them, what bad words do you know? We were so glad neither kid actually knew any profanity! But we explained that words like "hell" or "ass" are slang words only grownups use, usually when they're upset, and kids shouldn't say them. We told the kids they would never be in trouble for asking us what a word means; they'd only be in trouble if we'd already explained it, told them not to misuse a word and we catch them doing just that.) Just explain the changes in your daughter's body and sex very matter-of-factly like you would anything else and then let her questions guide any follow up. I'm sure there are other good kid books out there besides "Are you There, God?" but that's the one I clearly remember from my childhood! Good luck.

This sounds funny, but when my brother, cousin and I were all going through that time, our family got us "What's happening to me" and "Where did I come from?" "What's happening to me" is about going through puberty and why are body goes through this change and "Where did I come from?" is obviously about sex and how babies are made. They are cartoon characters, but it is honest without sounding so clinical. I still have those books and my nine year old son is starting to ask questions also. We are honest and tell him sex is something a MAN and Woman do when they love each other, not what boys and girls do. We hope that stays in his head since children are having sex younger and younger these days. I am getting the courage to get out those books and read about it with him (scary !!). Good Luck !!

Hi G.,

The American Girl's book "The Care and Keeping of You" is excellent! Lots of bright pictures, short information sections, easy to read text for kids and adults. We are using it with our 9 1/2 yr. old who is starting to go through puberty, and her 8 yr. old sister since she probably won't be far behind, and it can't hurt her to start learning about it.

We gave the book to them about a year ago and read through some of the body basics with them (hair care, bathing, healthy eating, exercising, etc.), to show them that it has lots of good information that they can find out on their own. We also let them read it on their own and then have open discussions about what they have read. It has worked great for us. I think the puberty/menstruation talk is a little uncomfortable no matter what, but to have a book to refer to has been very helpful.

The girl's dad and I also like this book because it does not go into all the sex stuff. So we can cover that at a different time, or as it comes up in discussions through this book, which some things just naturally have. But it lets us pace the sex talks the way we would like to and need to depending on what the girls are really wondering about, rather than because they saw or read something in a book that they may not be ready for.

They do seem young, but I think it is important to have "mini" discussions whenever the opportunity comes up. That helps it all to just be a part of life, rather than the BIG DEAL that it seems to be for so many of us. I think it also helps the kids and the parents to be more relaxed about the topic when it is spoken about as a natural part of life rather than waiting for one day to have "The Talk." The more often it's done, the easier it gets! :)

Sorry this is so long, hopefully it is helpful.

there is a really great American girl book that they sell at target... It is called the body book for girls.. it talks about everything... hope it helps.

One of my best friends recommended the book "It's So Amazing." It is for ages 7 & up. It is very basic and gets the point across. Don't wait for your daughter to ask because she may not. I also picked up two other books that are pretty good. One is named "It's Perfectly Normal" and the other is "The What's Happening to My Body Book." Good luck!

G.,

Whats Happening to my Body?: For Girls
is a great book! There is one for girls and one for boys. Very well written in a question and answer format. Addresses emotional issues like " Are my breasts small comapared to other girls?" as well as all the physical/ development questions. It is a great reference for a girl to have around. When she is old enough, consider getting the one for boys too because it will keep her in the know.

Hey G.,
Dr. James Dobson wrote a great book that you may want to read with her at some point, or she may want to read it on her own later called: "Preparing for Adolescence".
Also like some others have said I would check out the library and see which ones she sounds interested in. I was in 5th grade when we had the "health" classes that explained
most everything, so she's not that young. Good luck.
V.

There is a book called "Puberty for girls" or something like that, I have seen at at Borders Barnes and Noble even Walmart. I gave it to my daughter at age 9, she went through puberty real early. My daughter gave it to her 12 year old step sister and it pretty much answered all their questions so the conversation we had was not awkward, hope that helps

I love the American Girl series. I found one at Target that told my daughter about her own body (skin changes, deodorant, period, etc.) I gave this to her early on (1 daughter was 9, then I passed it on when my middle daughter was 10).

When it was time to have the "talk", I went to the bookstore and found some more advanced American Girl books. I have bought my eight year old "American Girl's Guide to Manners", and my middle school daughter the book that deals with making friendships. My older daughter loved the book that dealt with friend troubles.

I have to say, this series has been a blessing to a mom with three daughters. Just a note: I work with adolescents as a high school assistant principal, and I found their messages right on target for kids today. Also, these only work if your kids enjoy reading.

For the book about the big topics, I took my 11 year old out for dinner and coffee (decaf for her). We talked for about 5 hours. I told her the highlights and went over every chapter title in the book first. Then I gave her the book. I also put a jar on her desk (it has a decorated lid and says, "just in case"). It is for questions she may be too embarrassed to ask me. If I see a note in the jar, I write the answer back. This way she knows that I will be open to all topics. Even those that are hard to ask.

Good luck!

Hi I am going through this right now also!!! (Pulling my hair out) Ok so my daughter is 11 and about a year ago i bought a book called The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know) (But Need to Know) I got it at target but you can get it anywhere. I first read it to know what I was giving her then we read it together, it was a little hard, she was embarrassed a little but i just told her as girls we all go through this and that is why I am here so she can talk to me!

After a couple of chapters I let her read it and since I had already read it I knew for the most part where she was at. My daughter is at a place where she wants her independence but also wants to be a little girl. So she wanted to read part of the book by herself. I made sure we would sit down every night and talk about what she read. I love this book!

Happy Mother's Day to you, too!! I raised a daughter and helped with two step-daughters and let me tell you this: please don't wait for her to ask questions......kids are growing up faster these days and the sooner you educate her on the ups and downs of sex (sorry, i couldn't resist!) the better....you really don't want her to learn from other people, and that's the first place she'll go. I'm 49 years old, and still haven't had "the talk" with my mom.....we talk sex like any women do when there's no men around, but well you know.
I think that by having an open conversation about it helps to build trust and will make her feel like she can talk about anything with you. This will come in REALLY handy when she's in her teens. A good place to start would be by explaining why we have periods. That's where i started with my girls and then just progress from there. Don't forget that S.T.D.'s are a scarey subject and should just be introduced in little bites.
Hope that helped a little........

There is a great book out named "Where Did I Come From". It is great because it gives the information with cartoon characters.